Reflection

Why am I where I am in life? This is something that I have not asked myself for the past few years. It is something many people never ask. We should though.

As I think about it, my core values, the things that I have always said did or did not matter have shaped my choices up until this point. And I can see a correlation between what I value and what I have.

When I was very young I lived in a house for a short period of time. Then it was various apartments, duplexes and for short periods even the occasional car. After a time we moved into a trailer where I spent most of the time between 8 and 16. Then I moved into an apartment with friends and for quite a few years went from apartment to apartment. But I wanted something stable where you actually own something at the end of the day. Being transient every couple of years because of apartment policy changing was getting old.  And now we have a house.

Most of the time growing up, I had no friends. I was constantly alone. It always felt like it was me against the world. I decided that that is not how things should be. Now my friends are my family and I live with my closest friends.

I spent half my childhood in a trailer. We never went on vacation and hardly ever went out to eat at as a family. We were poor. And to a degree that shaped my thinking. Even now my worldly possessions are such that many would still consider me poor.

But I have become rich in knowledge and experience and that has caused me to see that many of the things that I have accepted so far in life are not really okay. I can be and in fact am happy with what I have but know that my life would be improved by having more.  And I am taking steps to reach out and grasp the things that I previously decided I would be just fine without.

My thought processes are beginning to change. The wheels are turning and I see how much better my life could be, for both myself and those around me if I were financially successful. Money is the one area of my life that I never put any real value on.

This area that never held any meaning for me before is the one area in which my life has lacked the most. I do not now, nor have I ever wanted to work a job. But inventing something new, creating a product, offering a service, or leveraging the works of others? All of those are things that I can and would very much enjoy doing. Many of my goals would be so much easier if I had a great deal of money. So I am focusing on shifting my thinking to placing value on acquisition of material wealth.

I am exactly where my core values and thinking have placed me. That is where I will always end up.
 All I need to do to get where I want is to change my thinking and new actions will follow.