Are you selfish?

I challenge you to come up with an action that you either do on a regular basis or one that you intend to do that is not selfish.

There are so many words and phrases that get used in the common vernacular that get put in such a negative light, even though the words themselves do not really mean anything bad. Today's example will be the word selfish. A fair definition of the word selfish would be something relating to or characterized by self interest.

In answer to my challenge you could say that you give money to charity. You could say you work to provide a home and food for your family. And lastly, just to try and throw me a curve ball, you could say that on alternate Saturday afternoons you make a list of all the things you can think of to do that day. Then you put the list on a dartboard and start throwing darts. Then you do whatever things end up with a dart next to them
 
At first giving to charity seems like a selfless act. However,  although it is certainly good, it is not selfless. When asked about your motivation you would say that you want to help other people. So you desire to help other people? Yes. And it makes you feel good to know that you are doing something for someone else? Yes. And that is why you do it? Yes. Then you have a selfish motivation for giving to charity. Even though you may be doing the right thing you are not being selfless. Anytime you are giving in to a want or a desire, the thing you are doing is selfish even if it is something that is mutually beneficial.

Working to keep a roof over the head of those you love and food on the table for them is certainly a noble thing to do. It is right and it is just. But it is not selfless. I say this for several reasons. First, if you live with the people you are providing for, you are keeping a roof over your own head and, quite likely, making sure there is enough food for you to eat  as well. It is just as beneficial to you as it is to them. But, why do you feed and house your family instead of just looking out for yourself? You do it because you love them and do not want them to suffer. You do not want them to suffer because you care about them and because them suffering would cause you to suffer. Even if you did not love your family and the only reason you provided for them was because you believed it is the right thing to do, it would still not be a selfless act. I say this because your motivation then, is wanting to do the right thing. You are still doing what you want to do.

By now I am sure you can see where this is going. Making up a list and using some random factor to determine what you are going to do for the day is still not selfless, due to fact that the reason for you coming up with this idea was to fill a want or desire that you had. It is still selfish. Feeding, clothing and sheltering yourself is selfish. Grooming and maintaining good personal hygiene is selfish. Just about everything that everyone ever does is selfish. Unless you can find a way to do something where your want and desire takes no part whatsoever yet you still have the freedom to make choices every act you take will always be selfish.

Anytime you are doing something where you get something out of it, be it physical, spiritual, mental or emotional, where your motivation is want, desire, or preventing something that you do not want or do not desire, the act is selfish.

Being selfish can still mean doing good things for other people. Make no mistake though. I am not saying that being selfish is always good, just as I am not saying that it is always evil. It is when a person does something that is good for themselves but bad for others, realizes that it is bad for others and does not care about it that being selfish is bad. People that frequently make those choices need to be avoided as much as possible. But if you were to avoid everyone that was selfish, you would have to avoid yourself as well as pretty much every other person on the planet.