Life in the right order

Some time ago, I took a workshop that focused on self empowerment. One of the talking points was about the general mindset and perspective of the average person. I discovered that most people have the belief that you need to do a set of things, so that you can have a set of things so that you can be happy.

It is kind of what the American dream is all about right? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all that? Work hard, to get the things that you want and then you can relax and be happy with the results. There is a problem with this model though. What happens if you work as hard as you can and through no fault of your own, you are never able to have the things that you want? Every time you seem about to get a leg up, something happens and you just barely manage to break even. Then you are doomed to never obtain happiness. Do have be does not work.

In fact it is exactly backwards. If you start being the person you want to be, you will automatically begin to do the things that you need to get what it is that you want to have. For any personal or business venture in your life you need to ask yourself, who you  need to be in order to be able to do the things that are necessary to get what you want to have.

So first, what do you want to have? Let's say the answer is a successful business. Who do you need to be? An open-minded entrepreneur . What do you need to do? Work hard and make lots of sales. Be an open-minded entrepreneur that works hard and makes lots of sales and you will have a successful business. What if you want a successful marriage? Who do you get to be? A loyal committed faithful spouse. What do you need to do? treat your mate with love, kindness and consideration. Be a loyal committed faithful spouse that treats their mate with love kindness and consideration and you will very likely have a successful marriage.

Why does it work this way? Because in no uncertain terms the do, have, be  mindset is completely materialistic. It values objects above all else and defines the lack of material things as failure. It is also a victim mindset. In every instance where you do not have  the things that you want you can complain and say if only this thing weren't in the way I could be happy.

The be do have mindset is the opposite end of the spectrum from that. It is about as responsible as one can get. When you look at what you want to have you are directly taking personal responsibility for your results. You are asking who do i have to be and what do I have to do, to get what it is that I want to have. Then once you have answered those questions you have a road map to getting what you want and nobody to blame but yourself for not having what you want.