Why am I always sharing someone elses work?

By now, you may have noticed that a lot of the things that I tend to talk about are direct quotes from movies, books or TV or are things that I think about those things. You may be wondering why. Don't I have any original thoughts? Can't I come up with my own ideas?

Wise King Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun. As far as inventions and creature comforts i disagree. Science is coming up with new things that we never had before all the time. But when it comes to traditions and philosophy, you know, what we think, how we think it and how we choose to run our lives, he was right on the money.

Right and wrong. Morals and ethics. Ways that one can behave. There are millions of them and they don't change over time. All there is is all there ever was or ever will be. Although it may not seem like it sometimes, all things are reflections of other things. And in every little thing is at least one lesson we can learn about life. It may be how to improve ourselves or our lives or things we can suggest to others, but everything no matter how small is important.

When I was in school, I was never a big fan of history because I didn't care about what happened in the past. I just cared about my future. I learned with time that the events of the past are important to know, if we don't want to be doomed to repeat them. It still isn't really important to me exactly when certain events happened just that I have a general idea of which happened before what and what caused those events. Knowing what happened isn't important if you don't know why it happened.

The world is full of a great many bad things such as, ignorance, hate, depression, angst, pain, war, terror, destruction, disease, famine and starvation to name a few. It is not all that hard to get swallowed up by the negatives and washed away into that sea of madness.

I know that focusing on the bad leads down that long dark spiral and that it is a lot harder to climb back out than it is to just keep moving up from where I am. So I look for tools of harmony and balance in everything I do. I am constantly on the look out for some new way to do things that is better than what I have done before. I endeavor to learn and experience and grow. And because it is what I am looking for, it is what I find. Everywhere all around me I find examples of how to live better and do better. Most importantly I learn what does and doesn't work in safe environments.

From role-playing games I get to create characters that have some of the same impulses that I do and see how those impulses play out without the harsh consequences of the real world. I get to be people that I might have been if I had made different life choices.  In ccg's I get to learn more about  strategy and the psychology behind meta-gaming as well as politics and social dynamics.

Through  books, movies, comics, blog posts and TV I get to see things from other people's perspectives. I get to see into the minds of the writers to understand the way they think as well as the way their characters think. I get to put myself into the shoes of each character and figure out what I would do in their situations and see how it differs from what the writer has them do or what the writer says.. I can reflect on the differences and learn why there are discrepancies between our points of view. I learn new ways to see old things or better ways of describing things that I have always said and done.

The world is not just a place of darkness. It is a place of light as well.There are just as many positive things as there are negative. Look for the love and the light and you will find it.

I believe that each person should live their life by example. What this means is that you should say and do the things that you believe people should say and do.  So when I quote someone else or share with you my thoughts on something that someone else has said or done these are things that I have taken into my life and made my own. I am suggesting that you do the same, but only if you think those things will work for you also.

What if there is no eternity?

Most organized religion teaches that this life is merely a precursor for that which is to come after it is over. We are told that it is just the blink of an eye as compared to the eternal life that follows. The actions of our short now, will be used to judge us and determine whether the forever that we get is one of reward, punishment or limbo.

Because we don't want the punishment or limbo we are urged to live the best lives that we can. We are instructed to do good things. We are told to be good people. That way we can get the reward. And to that end many people go beyond what is necessary even to the point of putting themselves through great misery and suffering to "ensure" that they get that reward in the end.

There is, however, no proof that such an eternal reward exists. It is entirely possible that this life is all there is with no reincarnation afterwards and no heaven, hell or limbo. If that is the case, then what reason is there to do good things. If there is no penalty for being evil, why not be evil?

Well, the thing is, there is a penalty. You may not be sentencing yourself to an eternity of burning pain, but there is always a penalty for doing bad things. While you may get something good out of harming another person, you also cannot do a person wrong without doing yourself wrong as well.

You may not see it at the time but this is always true. Other people see how you act and determine how they will or whether or not they will interact with you based on what they see and hear. You may get a little bit ahead by having unfair dealings with some people. But others that could have helped you get even further ahead will see your actions and decide they have no interest in working with you.

The same is true of your romantic interests. If you are mean or unfair in the way in which you deal with people that you are intimate with, others will see it and even if they don't see it directly, the person you are being mean to will share that information with others.

A series of such actions one after the other will gradually diminish the opportunities available to you, preventing you from being able  to obtain and enjoy many of the things that you may have otherwise had. And even if that weren't the case, whether or not you are willing to admit it, you know when you have wronged someone else and when you have, your conscience isn't going to just stand by and ignore it. It will weigh on you and prevent you from enjoying other good things in your life. 

On the other hand, a person never has doubts or second thoughts about whether or not they did the right thing when they do good things. Doing good things, especially selfless good things makes us feel good. Being good to one another creates positive energy within us, within those we do the good things for and in the local universe around us.

If there is no eternal reward for having lived a good life, if this life is the only one we will ever have or at least the only one we can ever truly remember, then it falls on each of us to make this life as close to perfect for ourselves and those around us as we can. Then, if it turns out that there is a reward for the good deeds you did in this life, you get that too.

What would you give up?

We all have an idea of how we'd like things to be. Maybe you aren't happy with the car you drive. Perhaps its where you live, the clothes you wear or who you live with. It may be something different for each person. But, all of us would like our lives to be different. Or so we say.

If it is true, as I have said recently, that we do exactly what we want to do and don't do what we don't want to do, then we must not want that "thing" that we say we do. Or at least not enough to make it happen. Maybe we don't think it is possible, so we don't try. Maybe we tell ourselves its just not worth the effort. Maybe we simply procrastinate saying, there's plenty of time. But, do you still want to be telling yourself that when you are sitting in a retirement home lamenting the fact that you didn't get what you wanted out of life?

Every moment of life is precious, because our lives are finite.  Why start to get your life on track at 70 if you can do it at 40. Why wait till forty if you can do it at 20? Why put it off for even a single moment?

If it weren't possible there wouldn't be people accomplishing the things that you want out of life right now. Nobody on this planet is any better than you are. There are opportunities everywhere. Successful people take advantage of the opportunities that are already there and create new opportunities out of adversity. Is there a lack of adversity in your life?

While I do indeed believe that, the love of money is the root of nearly all evil. Money is simply a tool. Now, having said that,  it is a very powerful tool, one which can change our lives for the better. In fact, nearly all of the problems that plague the average person can be solved by increasing the amount of money that one has.

As far as whether or not its worth it, well that all depends on you. What are your motivations? Who loves and depends on you? Even if you wouldn't strive for success just for yourself, are the happiness of your friends and family worth a little sacrifice on your part?

Some people, like motivational speaker Les Brown have this inner fire driving them to succeed. He was born in and abandoned building and given up for adoption. His adopted mother was single. She worked as a cafeteria attendant and domestic assistant. While still in grade school he was declared educable mentally retarded.  A combination of love and gratitude drove him to succeed. He wanted to become something, so that his adopted mother's sacrifice would be worth it. He gave up his free time and effectively most of his childhood to make that dream come true. When he was first starting out he would often be out knocking on people's doors after nine at night, still trying to get a sale for the day, so he could go home and say he accomplished something. Now he is a multimillionaire and one of the world's best motivational speakers.

How about your favorite athlete, musician or movie star? Do you think success just fell into their laps? For most of them success came at a price, one that other people weren't willing to pay. You might say that they just capitalized on innate talent, but that's really not true. Yes, talent in some area is required in order to be successful.

But, practicing that talent, honing it to a razor sharp edge and then sharing that talent to the world are all necessary steps. How many hours do celebrities spend improving their game or working on new material? Rehearsal or practice time isn't just measured in minutes. Strategy meetings don't run themselves. How much time do they spend away from their loved ones? How much sleep do they lose due to someone mismanaging their time? Because that's the key. For the most part, what we give up is time. Time doing the things that we enjoy right now, so that we can enjoy our future even more.

Is it worth it? Of course it is. They make millions of dollars and have tons of adoring fans. Plus, at the end of the day, they can be proud of what they have accomplished, of the life they have been able to provide for themselves as well as those they care about.

What would you do, what would you give up to be able to say the same? And...why haven't you started already?

Where have I been lately?

A lot of people get sick, a lot. They spend maybe a quarter of their lives dealing with one symptom or another. There's coughing, sneezing, dizziness, runny noses, headaches, sore throats, congestion, drowsiness, ear aches, excessive phlegm buildups, overall aches and pains and lethargy, just to name a few. There are a whole lot more. Those are just the ones that sprang immediately to mind.

Most of my life, I have had a pretty strong immune system. When other people around me would get really really sick, I would just end up with minor sniffles or maybe a cough here or there. They would be dropping like flies and I would be there just plugging along as if nothing was wrong.

Maybe my immune system is stronger than the average human's because I am really an alien/demon/angel. Or maybe it has something to do with them pumping my system full of antibiotics, when I drowned and was in a coma, when I was still a toddler.

I did manage to discover through my childhood and teenage years, that my kryptonite is strep throat. When that thing comes around, I get it every time, or so it seems. And it seems to last longer for me than it does for other people. Thinking back, I've only really gotten that about twice in the last ten years though.

For awhile now, I haven't really gotten sick the way most people think of illness. I was starting to think that maybe I was evolving and had become immune to most of the maladies that plague us. But, after doing some more thinking and observing general patterns over the last few years, I have recognized some changes that seem to coincide with times that most others around me have gotten sick.

When other people around me are suffering through half a dozen or more symptoms I usually do not have any of them. But that's not to say I get away entirely unscathed.  I have found when they are hacking and sneezing and whining about how bad they feel,  that I am often more tired and occasionally feel slightly dumb. Now this for me is a really big deal because I am usually very sharp and great at handling problems. This lessening of my intelligence frustrates me greatly. I end up feeling like a complete vegetable because things that are usually simple for me to solve are either impossible or just not worth the effort.

I don't want to be present while this is occurring but there is very little I can do to get away from it. Plus, I'm tired. So, I sleep. Normally I sleep a few hours more than usual for a day or two and that's that. This past week, I've spent more time asleep than awake, which is why there has been no new blogging from me until now. I intend to rectify that starting now.

I think what has been happening for the past few years is that my immune system has been getting stronger. It has grown to the point where it is able to successfully fight off whatever illnesses are destroying the daily quality of life for my friends and loved ones. But, it uses up all or nearly all of the energy that I would use to go about being my usual awesome self.

Is it really a boon or a detriment though? To all the people regularly dealing with the laundry list of symptoms I mentioned up at the top I am sure it would be a gift. Myself, I'm not so sure. I mean I know I don't want to be plagued by all those common cold type symptoms. But sleeping more means missing more of life. And I kinda totally love life.

Why bother with life?

We all start life with nothing.  We work our tails off to carve our way through the jungles of life. We struggle and claw and fight for every gain. Some of us manage to build vast empires of metal and stone. With our sweat and blood we build a legacy of wealth and prosperity that will hold for generations. Others of us make barely enough to survive, much less save or prepare for the future. Most of the rest of us live somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

But, life is a zero sum game. We start with nothing and we return to the earth with nothing. Nobody gets out alive. And you can't take "it" with you.

So what's the point? If all of your hard work and time spent aren't going to matter once you are gone, why do it? Why put in the effort? Why struggle? Why don't you just coast along with no effort whatsoever and let the waters of life just buffet you around randomly from shore to shore. Why not just follow the routine, with no plan at all? You could just do the minimum that is required of you to get by and follow the same path day in and day out until your body crumbles to dust.

You could do that. In fact many people do. But all those people, they aren't really living. They are just getting by and none of them are truly happy with what they have. They are just cogs in the great machine turning the wheel of ages. Days blurred to weeks, weeks blurred to months and years. Years blurred to decades until Death comes to collect them.

All those countless lives are wasted because people fail to understand and accept that the whole point of life is now. From the time we are born until the time we die, we are blessed with billions of nows. Each one is an infinitesimally small fraction of forever. Each is unique and unlike any other now that will ever occur.

Every moment that passes brings with it a new now. And the only now that ever truly matters is the current one. The old ones are gone and the future ones have yet to come. In order to live a happy fulfilling life, you get to learn to get the most you possibly can out of the current now. We can learn from past nows and prepare for future nows, but the only one we can live is the current now.

And that my friends is why we bother, why we plan and struggle and work and play. Most of the struggle is to make our future nows more enjoyable. But as far as grading our life on the whole, it is not the one now at the end of our life that is important. It is all of them collectively. Some nows will be better than others as no life is ever perfect all the time. But from my point of view a life well lived is one with more good nows than bad.

It is a delicate balance, between planning for the future and enjoying the present, but as I see it, it is the only life worth living.

How does one stick to the plan?

In order to get what we want out of life we need a plan. We get to look at what we have compare it to what we want and then build an action plan, a bridge, if you will, between the two. It starts out as just an outline. But, once this is done we can flesh it out into a specific step by step manual to get from where we are to where we want to be.

Now assuming we follow this blueprint, we will eventually get to where it is that we want to be. It may take us years though. Life is chock full of distractions, shiny things, bells and whistles that tend to pull our minds away from the important hard work that we need to do if we are ever to truly succeed. So, how do we keep ourselves motivated to stay on track and work the plan?

Living our vision is one way. Treat the future as if it is already here. Imagine what life will be like once all the pieces of the puzzle have been fitted into place where they belong. Live with the joy and gratitude of your success, even though it is not yet yours. Constantly remind yourself of the fruits of your labor even though the tree is not ripe yet. You have set things in motion and the harvest will come.

For some that alone is enough. For others who don't understand that line of reasoning or who just need more than promises of the future, there is another way. As they say, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. So how to handle this? I have a story that illustrates it rather well I think.

 A couple of decades ago I took Tae Kwon Do. The school that I went to was pretty big. There were new people joining all the time and something was constantly going on. At every class they gave out certificates and they gave them out for a variety of things, most of which, at the time, I thought were pretty frivolous. There were certificates for the most improvement over the last month, for who was the most energetic, who kicked the highest, most impressive ki shout, for successful board breaking and highest kicks. There was a certificate for just about every single thing that got done in class.

Also the belt system at this school was pretty intricate. There were I think nine belts between white and black and each had between 2 and 7 stripes with 5 to 6 being the average. Now, if you don't know, stripes are kind of an intermediate point between one belt and another. They mark you as past beginner at that belt level but not yet having mastered all you need to know. A lot of schools don't use the stripe system at all. Even the ones that do usually only have one or two stripes between belts.

But between certificates, stripes and several other things that this school did, each student hardly ever went more than a week or two without some pretty major recognition. It seemed like everyone was constantly being rewarded for whatever it was they did, no matter how small.

At the time, I thought it was pretty stupid. I mean if people are doing exactly what it is that is expected of them why are they being rewarded? Shouldn't things like that be reserved for people that are going above and beyond what is required and expected?

I didn't see, at the time, what was really happening. The goal of becoming a black belt was years away for any new people just coming to class. Even going from one belt to another was a process that took weeks if not months of hard work. All the little back patting and mini rewards kept people motivated and on track. It kept them coming back week after week until they actually achieved the ultimate goal.

You can use the same tools with the action plan for your life. Go over the blueprint for your life. . Think of the major accomplishments in your blueprint as belt levels, each one signifying a huge step towards the achievements of your goals. At each one of these points set up a reward for yourself, some way of congratulating yourself and motivating you to continue on the path. Split each "belt" into "stripes" and at each minor accomplishment have some lesser reward, to show that the work is all worth it and that you are on track. And regularly give yourself "certificates" or little pats on the back every few days.

None of these rewards need to be lavish or exorbitant, but they should be things that you truly enjoy. They are things that you deserve for working towards your long term goals. If you treat following the path towards your goals as an enjoyable service with rewards all along the path, holding out until the final goal has been reached will be something that you love doing, something that you want, rather than something you are forcing yourself to do. The bells and whistles will not be shiny or loud. The distractions will not pull you away.

Stay the course. Have the life you really want.

Why are you where you are?

Our parents say it to us all the time as we  are growing up. Its in movies and books everywhere. They say it in most commencement speeches. You can be anything you want to be. You can go anywhere you want to go. You can do anything you want to do. The sky is the limit, anything you set your mind to you can accomplish.

Those words aren't just empty platitudes. They are truth itself. Yet, how many of us are who we really want to be, are where we want to be and do what it is that we want to do? Very few, if any. There lies before us a world of infinite possibilities, countless open doors. Why do we not simply walk through them and change our lives forever, for the better?

Most of our lives are filled with other people's junk. Things that we really have no interest in and really don't know what to do with. There are the desires of our parents, pushing us towards the lives they either have or weren't able to have. There's our well meaning but often misinformed friends guiding us towards their idea of a perfect life. Teachers, guidance counselors, other family members all telling us what we should do and filling our lives with the things that they want for us. Many of those things aren't ever going to work for us, even though they come with the greatest love and best intentions. But, from the ideas that will work for us why can't we cobble together the perfect life from the bits and pieces of all the things they shove our way?

We try. We take the parts that seem like good ideas and we make them part of our life, but more often than not we aren't happy with the results. Why is this? Each of these people that love and care about us are sharing with us their vision of who we are and who we could be. The ideas and things that they suggest would work better if we were exactly who they envisioned. But we are not the people that our friends and family see us as. It simply isn't possible, because no two people see us exactly the same way

If we know thirty different people there are thirty different points of view on who and what we are. Piecing together a life from these different ideas would be like taking thirty different clips from thirty different movies about thirty different people and attempting to make one two hour movie out of the clips. It's probably doable it just wouldn't make any sense.

Some of the ideas and thoughts that our loved ones have of us are mutually exclusive, they can't exist within the same person. Some are ways that we could be but aren't. Others are things that at one time were true but aren't anymore.

So how do we get to be who it is that we want to be, live where we want to live and do what we want to do? There are clues in some sayings and cliches that have been around for centuries. Fortune favors the bold. God helps those who help themselves. The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

That's right. It isn't for anyone else to tell you what you want or what it is going to take to get it. In order to get what you want out of life, you get to decide, who you want to be, where you want to go, and what you want to do. Have a clear vision of exactly what your life will look like when these things are a part of your life. Search your life from the bottom up and discard all the thoughts, feelings and ideas that are holding you back, no matter who or where they come from. 

You are where you are either because it is where you have decided to be or because it is where you let others decide for you to be. Take back the reins. Direct the movie you want to see. It is only your vision that can get you where you want to be, only your plans, ideas and work that will make it happen.

The cure or the law?

To start off today, I would like to paint you a picture and then have you stop and think about the scene before moving on. I am going to describe a hypothetical situation. Respond how you would if this situation were actually happening to you. Don't try to change any of the story by saying it's improbable or would never happen. For argument's sake assume that it does and is happening exactly the way I describe.

You start out like all of us, going it alone in life. One day you meet someone and fall madly in love. You decide that the two of you are going to spend the rest of your lives together. But something happens and your partner comes down with a rare non-communicable disease. It is not contagious, but it is fatal. They have only a few weeks left to live.

There is a cure for this disease, but it is more money than you will ever be able to amass through your own personal efforts at your job,through your savings or begging, borrowing and stealing. But speaking of stealing, the cure is kept in a place that you know about, not too far from where you live. There is no alarm or security of any kind. You think you could go in at night and get enough medicine to cure your loved one.

 Please, stop reading for a few minutes. Take some time and think about it. What do you do?

The point of this exercise is to do kind of a psychological self examination. How you answer says a lot about how you make choices, what you value, your overall ethical system and what is really most important to you. For most people the decision would be very simple to make even though many of those people would not make the same choices.

See, on the one hand you have the general code of ethics that most of us share. We all are taught at a young age that stealing is wrong and so it is. But we are also taught that love is valuable and important. This example asks us to make a choice between the two of them. Do you follow the law and watch the person you care about die? Or do you break the law and save their life? Do you sit there and do nothing and hope that some other solution will come along? Do you look for an alternate solution of your own and wait until the very last possible moment before choosing between these two things?

There are several different "levels" of ethics, the highest of which cannot be achieved until we have reached a certain point in our view of the world and our overall level of maturity. Many people, regardless of age, never reach this top level of ethics. I won't tell you whether I have or not, I will only share with you my thoughts on this exercise.

It would take me very little time to make my decision. For me, the question isn't about law or love. It is about life. I believe that life is the most important most precious thing there is. And I would break any law or make any number of people upset in order to save a life, especially the life of someone close to me. So, I would break into the location where the medicine is stored and steal it. Out of respect for other people, I would do as little damage to the facility and personnel as possible, but if I had to disarm or knock one or more people unconscious in order to meet my goal, I would not hesitate to do so.

After the fact, once my loved one was out of danger, then I would worry about the consequences. See, I understand and accept that I would have to do some things that I see as wrong in order to save a life. But I am not blind to the reality that not everyone would agree with my choice. I may end up going to jail or having to live with the ill will of others for what I decided to do. And I am okay with that. While my loved one was in danger though, all other bets are off.

What would you do? Would you steal the cure and save their life? Why or why not?

After a year

It is early Saturday morning as I write this. On Tuesday my blog will be 1 year old. Looking back over the past year I have noticed a few things. A year is a long time and a lot has happened. The general structure of my day to day life is the same but a lot of the fine details are better.

About my writing specifically, I made a commitment to make one post a day. One would think with that commitment that would mean I would have at least 360 posts by now. And I would if it weren't for a few hiccups along the way.

First and foremost I, like most people reading this, am human(I think). Sometimes I get so involved in enjoying life and living it that writing doesn't occur to me until the day is through and I am getting ready for bed. On the days where that happens I do my best to make two posts the next day.

The second thing that kind of gets my postings all out of whack is that unlike most people, I have a hard time with the 24 hour day. Unless I am wearing contacts, I tend to still  be wide awake at the 16 hour mark and not looking to sleep at all. I frequently find myself awake for 24 to 36 hours in a row and then sleep for 10 to 12 hours afterwards. Including the sleep cycle, an average day for me is somewhere in the 36 to 48 hour range. I do almost always write one new article per "day".  It's just that my day isn't necessarily ruled by one rising and setting of the sun.

And last but not least, for the past couple of months, I have been branching out and re-posting my older work in a few new places on the web. It has definitely been worth the effort but between re-posting the old and writing the new, sometimes it hasn't all gotten done. For the past couple of weeks, it has been pretty bad. I've only had new stuff every two or three days and that is not acceptable. As of today though, I am all caught up and plan to return to my regularly scheduled one post per day.

I must say, although I haven't talked to many of you directly, I have enjoyed the comments that you have left for me. And from time to time I do enjoy reading many of the blogs of my followers. You all have such inspiring stories and tremendous experiences. It is fun and interesting seeing life through your eyes. It has actually surprised me to see the number of other people that have already taken it upon themselves to make the world a better place, to improve life simply by living better, by making better choices and becoming better people. And for an individual life that works, but what about the rest of the world?

When I first started this, I saw myself as a lone voice in the darkness, kind of like a pioneer going out into the great unknown and blazing a trail. Now, what I see and hear is a lot of other voices singing a lot of similar tunes. Together it creates a hell of a racket but on a large scale not much gets done. A million people is a lot of people. But a million individuals is just a crowd, albeit a large one.

However, a million like minded individuals all chanting the same tune is a force to be reckoned with, a force for change. Come join my tribe. Let's work together to make the world a better place.

Help see the message gets delivered

I have a powerful, positive, empowering message, one that can not be gotten across or fully explained in just a few short words on a single day. It is a message of peace, love and prosperity. A message of world change. This message is something that can only be fully realized after a shift in the average person's way of being, something that is only likely to happen after one can both see the whole picture and see themselves within it

And it is my intention to reach a worldwide audience. The words I write, while helpful for me and those close to me are meant to reach as many eyes as possible. To such ends, I post my work in over a dozen different places on the internet

You may (or may not) have noticed that on some of these posts I ask that you share my work with others. The reason for this is so that more people have the opportunity to have the kind of thinking that this world so badly needs as part of their lives. People need to stop suffering in their sleep and wake up and start taking control of their own destinies. I don't want my work shared so that I can have recognition. In fact, recognition is the last thing that I want.

But if my way of thinking can improve the life of even one individual, if I can make the life of one person easier with the lessons and examples that I share, then I am happy with my work.  In my daily life, offline I can only really reach out to one person at a time. Don't get me wrong. Changing the life of one person for the better is completely freaking awesome. Two or ten or even thousands would be even better though.

The thing is, I only personally come in contact with a dozen or maybe twenty people every week. Let's say that's the average for most people. I think that's a little low because I don't tend to get out much. But if each person that reads my work online shares a little of my thoughts and ideas with each person that they come in contact with, soon twenty becomes hundreds and then those hundreds become tens of thousands.

I don't really care about the number of followers that I have, but it is good feedback. The more followers I have on my blogs the more I know people appreciate what I write and the more I know it is making an impact on people's lives.

And do you know what ? I don't really care if it is my work in particular. What I am really asking that you share with others is inspiring, empowering, uplifting things. I know that what I have to say is a good message. I don't have the time or inclination to read the whole internet and pick and choose what's inspiring and what is not. If you know of someone else that has the same goal as I do and has just as good of a message, share their work instead. If what you personally do in your life is a better example, share your own stories ideas and lessons on how to make the lives of yourself and others around you better. What I write, what you write, what others write, it doesn't matter to me as long as it serves to make this world a better place.

If you like what I write, don't thank me or directly offer me gratitude in any way whatsoever. No, instead show that gratitude by joining me in making the world better. Show others a better way. In this world there is really no such thing as neutral. You are either contributing to the improvement of society or you are contributing to its downfall. So what's it gonna be Utopia or Dystopia?

IF you want a world that is in a constant state of positive change, one that is always getting better and better, take the positive, uplifting, empowering things into your life. Make them a part of your way of being. And then share sHaRe SHARE share those things with the world.

Every post can make life here on this planet better. It could be one life that improves,  it could be dozens or even thousands. How much of an impact happens as a result depends on you.

I am going to keep living, and learning and writing and sharing until this world is the place it should be. There. I've told you what my intent is. Now, what are you going to do?

Synergy and tribal life pt2

But, it's also a way for me to look back over time and see how I've changed and how my own personal growth is doing. Also, in the past, I have found that I have many of the same conversations over and over. What happens is, I spend hours of my time explaining a thing to someone that I know and then a few months later I meet someone new and have the same exact conversation. Now, when something like that comes up I can just say, I wrote something about that, a little while ago, let me get you a link to it.

And last but not least. Business. What I love doing is giving people the tools, the advice, the know how to make their own lives better. The feeling I get from that is such a massive high, but that by itself doesn't pay the bills. I intend to make my living by making the lives of others better. So, towards that end I have spent a lot of time and energy looking for an online business that has many of the same goals that I do.

I spent so long looking that I almost gave up. But, about a year ago, I found this company, started by two ex-homeless guys, that really has heart. Their goal, like mine is world change. They want the world to be a better place and are putting their money where their mouth is. They care more about the improvements in your life than they do about whether or not they ever make a dollar and nearly every decision they make shows it. These guys and their goals synergize perfectly with my goals.

They want to change the world for the better. So do I. They give people the tools to make that possible and so do I. To reach as many people as possible, I post in multiple different places on the web. The main place that hosts my blog, the one that all the others redirect to is the blogging platform on their website. I am part of a team, working together so that we can all be successful. Come check it out here

So most of the time, I'll be talking about tools to make your personal life better, different ways of speaking, acting and thinking to make your life and that of those around you better. Sometimes it will be just personal relationship building skills. Sometimes it will be tools and ideas that you can use in your job or business. Other times it will be all of the above. See, synergy.

If you are happy with the way your life is and don't want any improvements to it, good for you. Have a great life, but please stop following me. What I have to say isn't for you.

 If however, you look around at your life and see places that it could be better, and if you are willing to do the work of making it better, welcome to the tribe. More people doing a job means less work for all. Each new person that joins adds synergy making world change easier and easier to accomplish.

 Also keep in mind, my main method of changing the world is through these posts. Each life that my work touches is one more opportunity to make that change happen. So if you want to be part of the tribe, if you truly want to see positive world change happen, in your lifetime, please please please, share my work with as many people as possible.

Hunger is an awesome tool

Let me say that again. Hunger. Is. An. Awesome. Tool.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not in any way making fun of those that cannot afford to feed themselves or saying that we should take advantage of them. I am talking about your own personal hunger and what it can do for you.

Think about it. What are you like when you are hungry? I don't mean like breakfast was two hours ago and lunch is still a couple hours away and you are just a bit snacky. I mean full on raging bear willing to eat a horse if it's put in front of you kind of hungry. There are some Snicker's commercials out there that have some silly but somewhat accurate examples of how people stop being reasonable when they get hungry.

I can't speak to anyone's experience but my own. Though, I imagine, it is not all that different for other people. If I get deeply involved in some game or project and miss a few meals in a row, there comes a point where my body reminds me that it is time to eat. And yeah, I can push it back or ignore it for a little while, but there comes a point where that is all over.

It's like there's an animal inside controlling me. And it takes over. Then no matter what I was doing I'm done and it is time to go get something to eat. All rational thought not leading to acquiring food gets temporarily shut off.

IT IS TIME TO EAT! No other conversation holds my interest or in fact even penetrates my brain. All focus and desire is on food. I am willing to do whatever it takes to sate this hunger. I will move or destroy obstacles. I become an awesome juggernaut of will, laser focused on my goal. Woe to he or she that stands in my way. Nothing, this side of death will stop me.

By now you may be thinking, so what Jim, that's an interesting experience. But how does your odd mealtime behavior benefit me? Well.Think about it like this. What is this hunger that I am talking about? It is an all consuming fire, a burning ambition, an impassioned drive to succeed at accomplishing a goal no matter what obstacles may be in the way.

In all fairness a hunger for food will build on its own over time with no actual effort involved on your part. In other areas of life like business goals, family or relationships you have to stoke those fires intentionally. But it can, and should be done. You can have a powerful,passionate, driven hunger for anything that you decide to.

By comparing what you want with what you have, and getting excited about getting what it is that you want, you can build that fire from just a tiny spark to a raging forest fire. A forest fire that blazes in whatever direction you choose, melting all obstacles in your way, until you reach success.

Imagine how different your life will be once you starting treating all your goals the way I treat the obtainment of food when I am hungry.What new things will you do with your unstoppable will, laser focused for success?

An observation and a suggestion

A bit more of my slightly different perception of things.

People, when excited about a particular thing, have a tendency to emphatically state something to the effect of, it changed my life! Or it was truly a life altering experience. They declare such a thing loudly and boldly, often pausing between each word and also placing extra emphasis on each word to show just how serious they are about what it is that they are saying.

While I appreciate the severity of their declaration and share in the joy that something that happened to them had a profound effect on their life, I also kinda giggle somewhat inside at how ridiculous it sounds to me whenever someone says anything like that.

Why? Because everything that happens to you alters your life in some way. There are no non-life altering events.

Spilling coffee on your shirt alters your life. So does putting clothing on, going to work, disciplining your children, stopping at a red light or running it, doing homework, walking the dog, finishing up a puzzle, learning something new. Choosing to get up in the morning alters your life. Every single one of these things has some impact on your life even if it is only miniscule, even if it only provides background for other things.

Some, very few things, actually take our life in a completely new direction. They blaze a path to doorways that we never even knew existed. This is what most people mean when they are talking about something that changed their life. They have the passion correct. They just fail to properly articulate what it is that they actually mean.

And the second point for today I've been meaning to mention for awhile. I have a habit that I have formed over the past few years that has in many cases assisted me in preventing the tendency to overreact to certain stimuli. It has to do with creating a duality within your mind. When something happens, it doesn't matter what it is, create an image in your head of you being both present while the event happens and not present, standing outside the circumstance observing the event happening to and around the "other" you.

This way you can fully experience being in the moment while at the same time having a calm peaceful center from which to find the best solution to a given problem. Being able to have both an objective and a subjective point of view in virtually any circumstance allows for a great deal of emotional flare-up prevention. It also allows one to be more fair and reasonable under a broad range of circumstances.

There are times where others will not understand your apparently detached attitude, especially if they were ramping up for a fight, but I know from personal experience it is a much better option than simply reacting to everything that happens.

A message for the world. In the beginning there was chaos.

At first I was unaware of having any control over my life. I was aimlessly travelling along the rocky rapids of life being slammed from one sharp circumstance into another. If random chance brought me something good, well then that was great, but if it didn't then boo-hoo life was being mean to me.

But one day, I awoke to the truth. That I could and did in fact control nearly everthing that happened to me. I learned that I could avoid the sharp outcroppings of rock in the river of life and that I could safely navigate wherever I wanted to go. Life doesn't have to be random and chaotic and scary. It can be controlled,calm,peaceful and still fun. It is my intention to bring the lessons that I have learned to the world. To bring more light and hope and success to all of those around me.

Much positive change has been wrought in the lives of those closest to me as a direct result of my sharing these very same things with them. For a long time I dreamed of sharing my successes with others in my community and one by one changing the whole community for the better. For various reasons it has come to my attention that it would be a much better idea to share my viewpoint on the internet. More people overall can be affected this way. And instead of having a tight cluster of change in one local place there can be seeds of it planted all over the world.

So, I will be posting my viewpoints on life and the lessons I have learned. If what I say has resonance with you, if it vibrates on the same frequency as you do, if you agree with what I say, please please, share it with others that you think could get something positive out of it. And if you disagree or are bothered or offended in any way by what I say, please just ignore it. If this is the case my message is not for you.

That's the wonderful thing about the internet we can tune in to whatever we want and tune out from what we do not want.

Do you kinda, sorta, maybe, almost, but not really know what I'm talking about?

What is the deal with the epic amount of noncommittal speech and habit patterns in the world today?

When President Kennedy talked about our plans to put a man on the moon, did he say we were committed to getting 42 percent of the way to the moon by 1970? Or that we were going to put 52 percent of a man on the moon?  No,  he said we were gonna put a man on the moon before the end of the decade.

Has any athlete in history ever said they were gonna break 60 percent of a record? No, they devote their minds fully to shattering records and they do.

Has any pregnant woman ever been 85% pregnant or almost pregnant? No, she is either pregnant or she is not. 

In self improvement circles there is a saying that 99% is the same as zero. You are either in one hundred percent or you are out. There is no middle ground. You are either 100 percent dedicated and focused towards your goals or you are simply wasting your time.

But take a quick glance at the internet or stop by a coffee shop and listen to people talk or even just pay a bit more attention around your home. If getting things done is about yes and no, why are there so many partial responses?

Would you like some coffee? Sure.

That is not a commitment towards having more coffee. It is an implied yes, assuming the other person is willing to get it for you or bring it to you, but left to your own devices you won't have more. You either want more coffee or you don't.

Are you hungry? Kinda.

This one is like being pregnant. You either are or you aren't. If you aren't hungry enough to give an absolute, trust me, you aren't hungry.

Words like kinda, sorta, maybe, mostly, sure, i'd like to and it would be nice, have their place but answering questions designed to get things done isn't the time or place.

When you are looking for some assistance painting a fence, and you ask for it, anything other than yes or no is a complete waste of time, both your time and the person that you have asked. Because while they are sorting through how they feel about the question and realizing that they forty two percent want to help me or 92 percent or even 99 percent, but there's just this one thing stopping them and if only they could resolve that thing then they'd be able to give a yes, but they can't resolve it because it's complicated, I mean there's this other thing that might make it possible, but they'd have to check with two other people to see if they can watch their own  cat for once and then after helping their dad knock down a mailbox then they could probably sort of maybe help you with your problem.

In the ten minutes that it takes you to drag all that out of the other person you could have asked a dozen other people and gotten several yeses and nos. Clarifying a partial answer takes more time and energy than just giving a firm yes or no.

There is some part of the speaker's mind that knows whether the partial answer that is given leans more towards the positive than the negative, but most of us aren't mind readers and we have no way of knowing which it is, without asking. And if we are going to need to ask for clarification, what was the point in giving an answer in the first place?

You are not going to reach your goals in life by putting in partial effort. You are only going to get where you want to be by being clear and precise about what you want and how you plan to go about getting it. Make it a practice to remove the partial answers from your regular speech and you will find that there are less misunderstandings and much less time wasted in your life.

How green is it?

Who has the perfect life? The simple answer is of course, nobody. But when you are swinging away in the trenches, just attempting to grind out another day it may seem like a lot of other people have the perfect life and yours is just not worth the trouble.

We all have our days where questions like this come up. You see your boss with his trophy wife, Lamborghini and million dollar salary and think, man his life is perfect why couldn't it be mine. What you don't realize is your boss may be looking over at you and wishing he was still single, due to the constantly nagging wife, didn't have all the responsibilities of this company to take care of, the constant fear of his car being stolen and the huge amount of taxes that he has to pay.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. I think in reality we just aren't able to look at anyone else's lawn without a skewed perspective. We have no idea what kind of time or effort go into the care of any yard but our own.

We should still strive to have the perfect life though right? Shoot for the moon and at the very least you'll end up reaching the stars. Aim for the ground and you won't go anywhere. There are so many different aspects to life though. There are spiritual,mental,emotional,financial and physical aspects to name just a few.

Around here when we talk about our vision statement and how we are going to constantly work to improve all aspects of our life, sometimes people tend to get a little overwhelmed. Excuses come up. People say well I don't really have time to work on all these different things. I'm gonna focus on just this one.

That is wrong thinking and acting because whatever you are not working to improve will steadily decline. Life does not hold still. If there is any area where you are not moving forward, you are moving back.

I think there is some kind of misunderstanding due to what seems like a mixed message, but really isn't. We say to do your best in all things and that we expect perfection from each other. We don't really expect perfection, although we act as if we do. We realize that nobody is perfect and we are all going to make mistakes. But we believe in holding one another to the highest possible standard, so that when we miss, we still do better than if we had shot for something more reasonable.

And when failures happen we aren't there to judge or condemn. We are there to hold out our hands and lift the person back to their feet and ask how we could assist them in succeeding next time.

We expect perfection and instantaneous change. Though we know there will be breakdowns and that massive change will take time. But that's the key there. We know that everyone can and will have massive improvement in every area of their lives if they are willing to work for it.

Think about star athletes like basketball or football players. They can do some pretty amazing things and set awesome records. A certain degree of change happens overnight, but mostly it takes time and effort. But do football players just focus on one stat and say to hell with the rest? No, of course not. They work on everything that they are expected to do at once. They make incremental change over time.

It would be unrealistic to ever expect 100% improvement in a single area of life all at once. Though it would be and is perfectly reasonable to expect and achieve 1% improvement in 100 different areas of life. And when you do this you are going forward in every aspect of your life and sliding back in none.

You may never reach perfection, but the more time you spend getting just a little bit better at every part of your life, the more people out there will be looking over at your yard and exclaiming about how green it is.

Who would narrate the story of your life?

So while browsing the internet the other day, I ran into a question that at first made me kind of chuckle just a little bit. Then after a bit more thought it had me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair, especially when I saw a reply that so strongly matched what I was thinking on the subject.

The question was asked, who would you rather have narrate your life, Morgan Freeman or Samuel L Jackson? In case you've been living under a rock for the last few decade and don't know who they are, both men are well respected black actors that have each carved out their own niche in Hollywood. They have both played multiple completely different roles, but there is something special about their character, their personality that goes into each role they take on.

Morgan Freeman has played such varied roles as God, Batman's butler and a chauffeur for a cranky old lady. Samuel L Jackson has been a gangster, a slave and a jedi among others.

If Morgan Freeman were describing your life his voice would be calm, smooth and refined. It would be something like this. He led a good life, with many exciting times. Resources may have been few but he always did the best he could with what he had.

If Samuel L Jackson were narrating your life it would be high energy, full of excitement and expletives. It would go more like this. Holy Sh**! You motha fu***s are not gonna  believe the sh** this cat did on a daily basis. This crazy son of a b***h was off the chain!

The funny part is that I can hear both of their voices in my head reciting what I wrote and I have to agree with the person that said Samuel L Jackson would have to narrate the story of their life because there were too many instances of the word mother fu**** needed to describe their life.

I am sure that at one point or another in his life a few expletives have passed the lips of Morgan Freeman. Just as I am sure that Samuel L Jackson has been smooth and refined. And it's not that either person couldn't read words meant for the other. It's just that imagining one talking and acting like the other seems really unnatural.

When my life is through I want the narration of my life to be done in a way that is powerful and vibrant, in your face and honest. Both would do the job justice. They would each be very entertaining and include all the pertinent facts. Morgan Freeman's version while very creatively described would probably be simply the facts and nothing more. But I think I would rather listen to Mr Jackson's version of events.

Which of the two would you rather have narrate your life? Or is there someone else that you think would do a better job or would be more appropriate to describe your life?

Are you responsible for what happens in your life? Pt2

A bit more about responsibility in your life. First some easy questions.

Would you agree, if I said, in general, successful people are responsible people and not victims?

Would you agree, if I said, in general, successful people make things happen and things don't often happen to them?

Do you want to be a successful person?

So you want to be a successful person and you see that most successful people are responsible people?

Then you agree that there is value in not being a victim?

Now you don't get to be both in life, you are either a victim or you are not. The choice is, you happen to life or life happens to you.

What we say and how we say it give an indication as to whether we are playing the victim game or not. The victim will say the cop wrote me a ticket. The empowered person will say I got a ticket or better yet I earned a ticket. Both will tell you why. One to complain about it, the other just to describe the event. The first example distances oneself from what happened and makes it about the officer. The second puts the blame squarely where it belongs with the receiver of the ticket.

Do you see yourself as a responsible person?

Would you like to learn to take more control of your life and to be able to better steer events towards turning out more beneficial to you?

The first step to doing that is realizing where you are currently. Out of every ten things that happen in your life, how many do you actually own up to? Out of every ten events in your life how many do you make happen and how many happen to you? On a scale of 1-10, how responsible are you for what goes on in your life? All three questions are worded differently but mean the same thing.

Take a few minutes and rate yourself. Think of your general habits and patterns. Do you find yourself often blaming other people or life in general for things that happen and saying that they happen to you? Does it rain? Or does it rain on you?

If something happens that you realize you could do something about and you choose not to, if it turns out negatively for you, that is an example of you acting like an idiot and not an example of you being a victim.

A one means you are a complete victim, with no control over your life. Everything simply happens to you whether you want it to or not. And a ten means the opposite. You take complete responsibility for everything that happens. You realize that you control what happens by how you respond and by what you choose to participate in and what you do not. A five means you have a fair amount of both in your life.

Alright, so now you have your personal responsibility rating. Now, go ask three other people that know you very well and whose opinions you trust how they would rate your willingness to take responsibility for the things that happen in your life, on a 1-10 scale.

Did those other people rate you about the same as you rated yourself?

And finally an exercise to assist you in taking more control and responsibility for the things that happen in your life.

For the next week, set aside some time at the end of each day before going to sleep, ten to thirty minutes should be enough time. During that time, think of everything that happened during the day, from the moment you woke up until the moment you start this exercise. For each thing that happened, think about and find three things you could have done to make the end result different. Find one thing you could have done to make the result better, one different thing you could have done to get about the same result and one thing you could have done to make the result worse, no matter how good or bad things actually turned out for you.

The purpose of this is to show you that there is always always always something you can do to change the outcome of events. Of course you can't change things that are in the past. But going over what has happened in the past can assist us in coming up with better ways of handling things in the future.

Are you responsible for what happens in your life? Pt1

The following actually occurred this past Friday afternoon. Names have been changed to letters for anonymity.

Comcast sent out a technician to troubleshoot the internet problems that we have been having. As part of his troubleshooting he needed to test all of the coaxial cables for line noise. We all live together in a big house, but all have separate schedules. Sometimes we do not know who is home or awake or what their general status is.

One of the rooms the technician needed to get into was behind a closed door. He asked if it was alright to go in and check the line in that room. This sequence of events is what happened as a result.

Person A asked person B if person C was home. Person B said they did not know. Person A asked person B to check. Person B checked the door to person C's room, found it unlocked, opened it looked in and said person C was sleeping. Person A replied that was not useful information and that something more would need to be done. Person B then went over to the sleeping person C and woke them up.

Person C was understandably upset, one about being woken up in general, and even more upset at being woken up by person B standing next to their bed and calling their name. Person C felt that their privacy was being invaded due to the fact that person B did not even bother to knock before coming into their room.

Not surprisingly, an argument started, it was minor and not very heated. But, still, it was enough that the Comcast guy did not get to test the line that day.

Person C blamed person B for the circumstance. Person B claimed to just be following directions and blamed Person A. Person A admitted responsibility for the situation. But who was really responsible for the end result of the Comcast representative not testing the line? Was it person A, B,C, or was it the Comcast tech?

It's actually a trick question. The correct answer is, it is everyone's responsibility. A,B,C, the Comcast tech, every person that observed what happened and even those that did not. The whole world is responsible for everything that happens, everywhere, if they could have taken an action that would have made things different, no matter how indirect or not connected that action might be.

Person A could have stopped Person B from entering Person C's room without knocking. Person B could have used common sense and not entered without knocking, Person C could have locked their door before going to sleep, or could have been awake or not home. The guy from Comcast could have found another way to test the line that did not involve going into that room.

Comcast, in general, is responsible for the trouble that we are having with our internet because if they did not exist we would not have their service and thus we could not have an issue with our Comcast internet service. AT&T is responsible for this circumstance as well, because if they provided a better service we would use it. It was our choice to go with the internet service provided by Comcast. But it is every other company out there's choice not to provide better internet than Comcast does.

One might say well what about all the Chinese and Indian people out there that are half a world away from you? They aren't responsible for this are they? Actually, yes they are. Any one of them could invent the next new bit of technology that makes internet usage through coaxial cable obsolete. Every man woman and child, everywhere, that has failed to do so is responsible for the problems that we have with the internet in our home. If there were no planet Earth we would not have the exact problem we have here and now with our internet. Therefore everyone that has not blown up the Earth has contributed to us still having trouble with our Comcast based internet service.

Am I suggesting that anyone should destroy our planet? No, not, even slightly. I am just using it as an example to say that anyone and everyone could change our circumstance and that everyone that does not, is responsible for the circumstance continuing to exist

A person can take the victim stance and blame everyone else but the fact of the matter is that they are responsible for what happens in their lives even if they choose to ignore or deny it. Also, there is no such thing as partial responsibility. Persons A,B,C and the Comcast tech are not each 25% responsible for what happened. They are each jointly and severally 100% responsible for the outcome because any one of them could have taken an action to change the outcome and none of them did.

What are habits?

Filthy Habittses always stealing things and running away. Sorry couldn't help a little LOTR humor. It's silly but kind of brings up my first point today.

People tend to put a negative connotation on the word habit. Most likely you think of destructive behaviors when the word habit comes up. And why shouldn't you. Often when the word comes up it is associated with drinking, smoking or even drugs. There are tons of bad habits. Things like driving too fast, not listening to good advice or just taking too many risks in general.

There are so many bad habits, that we tend to treat the words habit and bad habit as synonymous. And that is just not true. Literally, habits are just patterns or routines. Your habits describe what and when you do what it is that you do on a daily basis.

Unless everything you do is bad, all of your habits are not bad. There is nothing wrong with having habits. Without them there would be no order to anything all choices would be random and you would never do things the same way twice, not on purpose anyways.

So unless you are worried about Bishop from the comics coming back from the future to assassinate you in the present, there is no reason to avoid having habits. And now that I think about it, if you have good reason to believe that that may actually happen, chances are you have a lot more to worry about than what your habits are.

In all seriousness habits are a good and necessary part of life. The question  is are your habits serving you or are you serving your habits?

In your mind think of an average week in your life. Imagine every day from the time you wake up until you go to sleep. Think of all the things that you do on a daily basis. As you go through each day in your mind, make a list of all the habits that you can think of that you have. Until you are done with the whole week, don't filter anything out. Just write it all down. Be as honest with yourself and accurate as possible. Then separate the list into three columns, one that is good habits, one that is bad habits, and one for things that are either neutral or for things where you are not sure if they are helpful or not.

Then go down each column one item at a time and think about that particular habit. Think about why it is that you do that particular thing and what you get out of it. Because whether it is good or bad you get something out of every habit that you have, otherwise it would not have become a habit. Sometimes we choose things that we know are not good for us just because we want a certain result.

Give each habit a few moments of your time. Turn it over and look at it from every angle. For each one ask yourself if there is a better way to do this thing. Then think about what your life would be like without this habit.

You might find yourself with a few less habits once you're done or you may find more productive ways to get the same things done. Either way it's a win-win situation for you.