Just do it!

We have a tendency to avoid things that we find  unpleasant or that we really don't want to deal with. When something comes up that is suboptimal, we often steer ourselves in a different direction. We believe our lives are made better by finding a different path. This is often not the case.

The other night I heard a conversation between a couple of my roommates. One was going to cook dinner. Impeding her progress was a specific dirty dish. Now I am not clear on whether or not she was going to use the dish to cook with or if the issue was that it was just physically in her way, preventing her from having full access to the sink or counters and whatnot.

But instead of simply washing the dish and then going on about her business of cooking a tasty meal, she decided not to cook. Worry not, she didn't starve. Other food arrangements were made. The point is extra time and money were spent that didn't need to be.

Then the next night, she came into the kitchen, again, planning to cook dinner. Immediately a string of curses could be heard as she started swearing about how that same dish was still there, still dirty. Two days in a row her ability to cook was being hampered by her choice to let a single dirty dish get in her way.

Now, I am not suggesting that we should just ignore the fact that other people leave things in a less than perfect state. It is not okay for us as adults to leave messes behind for other people to clean up. But why let something that would take less than two minutes to wash dry and put away change our plans for the evening? Not only do these things take up our time and energy, we take up the time and energy of others complaining about them. That time and energy could be put to better use finding out who left out the unclean item and getting a commitment from them to do a better job cleaning up after themselves in the future.

We have agreements to keep our home clean, for each person to make sure they don't leave behind things for others to deal with. But, none of us are perfect and from time to time we are going to make mistakes. Some of us more than others, but it happens to all of us. Taking it personally, getting upset or angry when others fail to do as they have agreed does nothing but ruin your mood.

And letting these little things get in the way of our plans for the day, is literally allowing the mistakes of others to control our lives. Each time a big thing doesn't happen or has to happen differently just because we decide to avoid dealing with a little thing that little thing is controlling us. Think about your daily life. How many things are changed or even prevented from happening simply by things that you don't want to, but probably should deal with?

Scary, dangerous, life altering/ending things I can understand not wanting to handle. But something that will only take a couple of minutes to handle and has no other major impact on anything? Just do it and get on with your day.

What would you give up?

We all have an idea of how we'd like things to be. Maybe you aren't happy with the car you drive. Perhaps its where you live, the clothes you wear or who you live with. It may be something different for each person. But, all of us would like our lives to be different. Or so we say.

If it is true, as I have said recently, that we do exactly what we want to do and don't do what we don't want to do, then we must not want that "thing" that we say we do. Or at least not enough to make it happen. Maybe we don't think it is possible, so we don't try. Maybe we tell ourselves its just not worth the effort. Maybe we simply procrastinate saying, there's plenty of time. But, do you still want to be telling yourself that when you are sitting in a retirement home lamenting the fact that you didn't get what you wanted out of life?

Every moment of life is precious, because our lives are finite.  Why start to get your life on track at 70 if you can do it at 40. Why wait till forty if you can do it at 20? Why put it off for even a single moment?

If it weren't possible there wouldn't be people accomplishing the things that you want out of life right now. Nobody on this planet is any better than you are. There are opportunities everywhere. Successful people take advantage of the opportunities that are already there and create new opportunities out of adversity. Is there a lack of adversity in your life?

While I do indeed believe that, the love of money is the root of nearly all evil. Money is simply a tool. Now, having said that,  it is a very powerful tool, one which can change our lives for the better. In fact, nearly all of the problems that plague the average person can be solved by increasing the amount of money that one has.

As far as whether or not its worth it, well that all depends on you. What are your motivations? Who loves and depends on you? Even if you wouldn't strive for success just for yourself, are the happiness of your friends and family worth a little sacrifice on your part?

Some people, like motivational speaker Les Brown have this inner fire driving them to succeed. He was born in and abandoned building and given up for adoption. His adopted mother was single. She worked as a cafeteria attendant and domestic assistant. While still in grade school he was declared educable mentally retarded.  A combination of love and gratitude drove him to succeed. He wanted to become something, so that his adopted mother's sacrifice would be worth it. He gave up his free time and effectively most of his childhood to make that dream come true. When he was first starting out he would often be out knocking on people's doors after nine at night, still trying to get a sale for the day, so he could go home and say he accomplished something. Now he is a multimillionaire and one of the world's best motivational speakers.

How about your favorite athlete, musician or movie star? Do you think success just fell into their laps? For most of them success came at a price, one that other people weren't willing to pay. You might say that they just capitalized on innate talent, but that's really not true. Yes, talent in some area is required in order to be successful.

But, practicing that talent, honing it to a razor sharp edge and then sharing that talent to the world are all necessary steps. How many hours do celebrities spend improving their game or working on new material? Rehearsal or practice time isn't just measured in minutes. Strategy meetings don't run themselves. How much time do they spend away from their loved ones? How much sleep do they lose due to someone mismanaging their time? Because that's the key. For the most part, what we give up is time. Time doing the things that we enjoy right now, so that we can enjoy our future even more.

Is it worth it? Of course it is. They make millions of dollars and have tons of adoring fans. Plus, at the end of the day, they can be proud of what they have accomplished, of the life they have been able to provide for themselves as well as those they care about.

What would you do, what would you give up to be able to say the same? And...why haven't you started already?

Why are you where you are?

Our parents say it to us all the time as we  are growing up. Its in movies and books everywhere. They say it in most commencement speeches. You can be anything you want to be. You can go anywhere you want to go. You can do anything you want to do. The sky is the limit, anything you set your mind to you can accomplish.

Those words aren't just empty platitudes. They are truth itself. Yet, how many of us are who we really want to be, are where we want to be and do what it is that we want to do? Very few, if any. There lies before us a world of infinite possibilities, countless open doors. Why do we not simply walk through them and change our lives forever, for the better?

Most of our lives are filled with other people's junk. Things that we really have no interest in and really don't know what to do with. There are the desires of our parents, pushing us towards the lives they either have or weren't able to have. There's our well meaning but often misinformed friends guiding us towards their idea of a perfect life. Teachers, guidance counselors, other family members all telling us what we should do and filling our lives with the things that they want for us. Many of those things aren't ever going to work for us, even though they come with the greatest love and best intentions. But, from the ideas that will work for us why can't we cobble together the perfect life from the bits and pieces of all the things they shove our way?

We try. We take the parts that seem like good ideas and we make them part of our life, but more often than not we aren't happy with the results. Why is this? Each of these people that love and care about us are sharing with us their vision of who we are and who we could be. The ideas and things that they suggest would work better if we were exactly who they envisioned. But we are not the people that our friends and family see us as. It simply isn't possible, because no two people see us exactly the same way

If we know thirty different people there are thirty different points of view on who and what we are. Piecing together a life from these different ideas would be like taking thirty different clips from thirty different movies about thirty different people and attempting to make one two hour movie out of the clips. It's probably doable it just wouldn't make any sense.

Some of the ideas and thoughts that our loved ones have of us are mutually exclusive, they can't exist within the same person. Some are ways that we could be but aren't. Others are things that at one time were true but aren't anymore.

So how do we get to be who it is that we want to be, live where we want to live and do what we want to do? There are clues in some sayings and cliches that have been around for centuries. Fortune favors the bold. God helps those who help themselves. The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

That's right. It isn't for anyone else to tell you what you want or what it is going to take to get it. In order to get what you want out of life, you get to decide, who you want to be, where you want to go, and what you want to do. Have a clear vision of exactly what your life will look like when these things are a part of your life. Search your life from the bottom up and discard all the thoughts, feelings and ideas that are holding you back, no matter who or where they come from. 

You are where you are either because it is where you have decided to be or because it is where you let others decide for you to be. Take back the reins. Direct the movie you want to see. It is only your vision that can get you where you want to be, only your plans, ideas and work that will make it happen.