What would you give up?

We all have an idea of how we'd like things to be. Maybe you aren't happy with the car you drive. Perhaps its where you live, the clothes you wear or who you live with. It may be something different for each person. But, all of us would like our lives to be different. Or so we say.

If it is true, as I have said recently, that we do exactly what we want to do and don't do what we don't want to do, then we must not want that "thing" that we say we do. Or at least not enough to make it happen. Maybe we don't think it is possible, so we don't try. Maybe we tell ourselves its just not worth the effort. Maybe we simply procrastinate saying, there's plenty of time. But, do you still want to be telling yourself that when you are sitting in a retirement home lamenting the fact that you didn't get what you wanted out of life?

Every moment of life is precious, because our lives are finite.  Why start to get your life on track at 70 if you can do it at 40. Why wait till forty if you can do it at 20? Why put it off for even a single moment?

If it weren't possible there wouldn't be people accomplishing the things that you want out of life right now. Nobody on this planet is any better than you are. There are opportunities everywhere. Successful people take advantage of the opportunities that are already there and create new opportunities out of adversity. Is there a lack of adversity in your life?

While I do indeed believe that, the love of money is the root of nearly all evil. Money is simply a tool. Now, having said that,  it is a very powerful tool, one which can change our lives for the better. In fact, nearly all of the problems that plague the average person can be solved by increasing the amount of money that one has.

As far as whether or not its worth it, well that all depends on you. What are your motivations? Who loves and depends on you? Even if you wouldn't strive for success just for yourself, are the happiness of your friends and family worth a little sacrifice on your part?

Some people, like motivational speaker Les Brown have this inner fire driving them to succeed. He was born in and abandoned building and given up for adoption. His adopted mother was single. She worked as a cafeteria attendant and domestic assistant. While still in grade school he was declared educable mentally retarded.  A combination of love and gratitude drove him to succeed. He wanted to become something, so that his adopted mother's sacrifice would be worth it. He gave up his free time and effectively most of his childhood to make that dream come true. When he was first starting out he would often be out knocking on people's doors after nine at night, still trying to get a sale for the day, so he could go home and say he accomplished something. Now he is a multimillionaire and one of the world's best motivational speakers.

How about your favorite athlete, musician or movie star? Do you think success just fell into their laps? For most of them success came at a price, one that other people weren't willing to pay. You might say that they just capitalized on innate talent, but that's really not true. Yes, talent in some area is required in order to be successful.

But, practicing that talent, honing it to a razor sharp edge and then sharing that talent to the world are all necessary steps. How many hours do celebrities spend improving their game or working on new material? Rehearsal or practice time isn't just measured in minutes. Strategy meetings don't run themselves. How much time do they spend away from their loved ones? How much sleep do they lose due to someone mismanaging their time? Because that's the key. For the most part, what we give up is time. Time doing the things that we enjoy right now, so that we can enjoy our future even more.

Is it worth it? Of course it is. They make millions of dollars and have tons of adoring fans. Plus, at the end of the day, they can be proud of what they have accomplished, of the life they have been able to provide for themselves as well as those they care about.

What would you do, what would you give up to be able to say the same? And...why haven't you started already?

Evaluation or Judgement?

Although they are grammatically similar, there is a massive difference between the next two sentences. I do not like strawberries. I do not like black people.

For starters, I'd like to point out that both statements are generalities and both statements are false.
Strawberries are one of my favorite fruits. But I prefer some over others. For example, my preference for strawberries is that they are large and overly ripe, just short of going bad.

Those are the sweetest best tasting strawberries in my opinion. There are plenty of strawberries that I don't like though. Some are too ripe or have mold on them. Others aren't ripe enough or a rich enough shade of red. Others still host small creatures that eat them from the inside out.

Although I pick and choose which are acceptable to me and which are not, it is completely okay for me to make the blanket statement that I don't like strawberries. The reason is because it is just fine if I decide that strawberries have no place in my life, no value for me.Strawberries are similar enough that evaluating them on the whole as useful or not is okay. I can judge strawberries as worthless and nobody cares.

People, regardless of color are a different situation altogether. First off, if I make a blanket statement about race, gender or religion, you will probably immediately react by stating how you feel about my "prejudice" . Just like with strawberries there are rotten and deliciou... I mean good people of every color. In all actuality, to me, black people are no better or worse than any other race of people. There is much variety, but we are all people. And I love people.

Each person is different enough between their knowledge, experiences, skills, talents, thoughts and feelings, that it is unfair to judge any whole race or social grouping unless we have had experience with every member of that group. A case by case basis is needed to decide the value of a person within your life. 

And that's another thing. Several of my previous discussions here have centered around how we should not judge people, that it isn't our right or our place. You might be feeling by now that I think we should just implicitly trust everyone and let them run rampant all over us because we aren't "allowed" to judge them.

That is quite different from how I really think. A distinction needs to be made here between evaluation and judgement. When I talk about judging a person, what I mean is weighing their overall worth as a person, deciding whether they are "good" or "bad" and worthy of our love and respect or not. When I talk about evaluating, I mean looking at a person and determining if they have the qualities and skills to fit within a certain niche. Their worth never comes into question, just whether or not they fit certain criterion.

I think an example is in order.  A mildly unstable person who has a habit of pulling out a fist full of knives and juggling them whenever he gets bored is probably not the best person to hire as a babysitter for your three year old. He might be a great fit for the circus though, or anywhere that a high degree of manual dexterity is needed. 

Just because he isn't good for the one thing that you need a person to do, does not mean that he is not good or even spectacular in other areas. We tend to not have the time, nor the inclination to learn enough about a given person to know them intimately enough to ever fairly determine their true value as a person.

Judgement is unfair and wrong because all people have value even if we fail to see it. When we judge a person we deem them useful or useless. When we evaluate a person we deem them useful in this particular circumstance or not useful in this particular circumstance. It is disempowering to ourselves and the people we judge when we do so. Evaluation on the other hand is fair and just and necessary if we are to get by in this world.

Do not judge. But if you must judge, judge fruits. Evaluate people.

What are you worth?

"A human being can not consistently out perform his or her own self image" - Maxwell Maltz. 

I was listening to a motivational speech today and someone mentioned the above quote from Psycho-Cybernetics a book by Dr. Maltz. It surprised me just a little when I heard it because I had just finished listening to that part of his audio book with that quote in it, earlier in the day. And every time someone seemingly randomly quotes something I am currently reading or listening to it lends it more value and credibility because that other person valued it enough to make it a part of their point of view.

What Dr. Maltz is saying with this quote is that it is possible for a person to excel occasionally if they have a low self image, but not consistently. Conversely, at the same time, he is also saying that it is possible for a person with a high self image to do badly, but not consistently.

The speaker that I was listening to today was using this quote to directly relate self worth with yearly income. A person who believes that he is only worth thirty thousand dollars a year cannot consistently make more than that amount. He or she will sabotage themselves and make bad choices such that they will get fired, demoted or in some other way prevented from making more than they believe the are worth.

Such people make excuses and tell themselves half truths as excuses to make it okay to be poor and living in poverty.  They say things like we may be poor but at least we make an honest living or at least we are  following God's will, implying that those with money are liars and cheats that are evil and against God. What ridiculous ideas!

A person who wants to make two hundred thousand dollars a year but believes they are only worth half of that will not make more than 100k a year without changing their self image. How does one do this?

It is remarkably easy to do, so much so that you may not believe it. First you set some time aside and have a conversation with yourself where you ask yourself what you believe you are worth. Then compare the amount you think you are worth, with the amount that you would like to make per year.
Then ask yourself why you are not worth the amount that you would like to be making instead. This may take some time as you may have a lot of reasons. There may be a lot of things that make you think you are not worth it. Make a list of all these reasons. Write the whole thing down, every last excuse or thing that makes you feel that you are worth less than you want to be.

Then burn it to ashes.

Because it is all nonsense. Every man woman and child on this Earth is a priceless precious artifact worth whatever ridiculously high sum they can imagine. Whatever amazing thing you can dream up is but a small fraction of your true worth. Remain humble, but know with perfect clarity that you are worthy of whatever you set your mind to and never again let a question of your worth stand in the way of what you truly want.