An observation and a suggestion

A bit more of my slightly different perception of things.

People, when excited about a particular thing, have a tendency to emphatically state something to the effect of, it changed my life! Or it was truly a life altering experience. They declare such a thing loudly and boldly, often pausing between each word and also placing extra emphasis on each word to show just how serious they are about what it is that they are saying.

While I appreciate the severity of their declaration and share in the joy that something that happened to them had a profound effect on their life, I also kinda giggle somewhat inside at how ridiculous it sounds to me whenever someone says anything like that.

Why? Because everything that happens to you alters your life in some way. There are no non-life altering events.

Spilling coffee on your shirt alters your life. So does putting clothing on, going to work, disciplining your children, stopping at a red light or running it, doing homework, walking the dog, finishing up a puzzle, learning something new. Choosing to get up in the morning alters your life. Every single one of these things has some impact on your life even if it is only miniscule, even if it only provides background for other things.

Some, very few things, actually take our life in a completely new direction. They blaze a path to doorways that we never even knew existed. This is what most people mean when they are talking about something that changed their life. They have the passion correct. They just fail to properly articulate what it is that they actually mean.

And the second point for today I've been meaning to mention for awhile. I have a habit that I have formed over the past few years that has in many cases assisted me in preventing the tendency to overreact to certain stimuli. It has to do with creating a duality within your mind. When something happens, it doesn't matter what it is, create an image in your head of you being both present while the event happens and not present, standing outside the circumstance observing the event happening to and around the "other" you.

This way you can fully experience being in the moment while at the same time having a calm peaceful center from which to find the best solution to a given problem. Being able to have both an objective and a subjective point of view in virtually any circumstance allows for a great deal of emotional flare-up prevention. It also allows one to be more fair and reasonable under a broad range of circumstances.

There are times where others will not understand your apparently detached attitude, especially if they were ramping up for a fight, but I know from personal experience it is a much better option than simply reacting to everything that happens.

The road to empowerment

Self improvement, empowerment, enlightenment. They all mean more or less the same thing. It is the never ending journey of personal enrichment for mind body and soul. There is always more room for personal growth and improvement regardless of how far we have come. Just past the current obstacle is another breakthrough.

One may wonder, if perfection is unobtainable, if there is always more to do, why bother at all? I feel there are several good answers to this.

Which of the following sounds better to you? You can strive for perfection and perhaps get close but maybe fall a little short. Or you can shoot for mediocrity and probably make it. If you make it, go you, you succeeded at being average. But if you fail at mediocrity where does that leave you?

That's why they have a a saying "go big or go home" because nobody cares if you strive for and succeed at being mediocre. I'd much rather work my tail off striving for perfection (and fail) than coast my way through being average.

Also something most people seem to miss is that enlightenment is about the journey, the path itself, the road you take and all of the choices you make while upon it. Where you end up is far less important than each step of how you got there.

We have character development over time. As we have new experiences we learn more about both ourselves and the world around us. Our minds expand to encompass new ideas that we could not have conceived of at the start of our journey. You are not the same person that you were five years ago. And you will not be the same person five years from now that you are today.

There may come a time where you have achieved all the goals that you had previously set for yourself.  And if that does happen, you will set new goals and milestones for yourself. The reason for this is that what you believe is the perfect you and the perfect life for you changes as you accomplish more and more.

And last but not least, the only way to have any real control over your life is to stop coasting along and letting others make your decisions for you.Stop letting your parents run your life. Quit blaming other people for your problems.You get to stand up and take responsibility for your life and you get to be the one that makes sure it is on track so to speak, as well as deciding for yourself what on track looks like.

Why bother? Because the people that "bother" have a real a chance of succeeding, of having their lives work for them instead of against them. They are people that matter and make a difference in the world. Why bother? Because what kind of person would you be if you didn't?

Everyone has their place. But why be a sheep when you could be a wolf? Why let things just happen to you when you can be the kind of person that makes things happen?

Today's Rambling

Many of us have a clear picture of how our life would be if it were exactly the way we wanted it to be. We know what car we would drive, how big our house would be, what we would do for a job, how many children we would have and dozens of other minute details of the perfect scenario. Yet our lives fall short of that perfect portrait. Why is this?

Is it because we lack the hope of things one day being that way? Is it because we do not really wish this image was our reality? Certainly not. But hoping and wishing are not enough to make our dreams come true.

What is it then that is missing? There is a bridge between the life we want and the life we have. And what is missing is the main tool required to build that bridge. Hoping, wishing and dreaming all accept the high probability that what we want will never materialize. Each of these ideas are too weak to make your vision manifest.

You need to close your eyes and imagine that perfect life of yours. Truly walk around inside your vision and revel in it. Exult in the moment of having exactly what it is that you want. Then make a decision. If this vision is what you want decide that you are going to make it real. Discard hoping, wishing and dreaming.

And in their place build a fire, fueled by the burning desire for your success. For desire is the tool that allows you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. There isn't really anything wrong with where you are right now. In fact it is the perfect place to start out, specifically because it is NOT where you wish to be. With the desire to create and make real your vision for yourself, you can compare what you have with what you want and begin to formulate a plan.

This plan then becomes the blueprint by which you live your life while on the journey to the life that you want. Along the way things will happen which have the potential to pull you away from your goals and to distract you. Friends and family will attempt to pull you into their own dreams for the future. This is where your desire for success becomes most important. You get to use your desire to overcome the distractions, to stay focused on the straight and narrow path. This does not mean that you should avoid interacting with others, just avoid letting their stories become your story. Some people will actually have useful insights, experiences and ideas that you can make your own.

The path to the life of your dreams need not be a lonely one. Just remember to only allow those around you that are supportive of your goals. And once you have built up the fires of that burning desire, take careful steps to always keep the flame going. It may be the plan itself that gets you where you want to be. But if your desire to see it through is not high enough, regardless of how good your plan is, you will never follow it.