So the last post was an example of how differently two people can react to the same circumstances.
The
victim has no control. He has no idea what is out there or what is
coming at him next. all he can do is react. So that's all he does and
usually he reacts badly. He knows and really does believe that the world
is out to get him. But this really is a ridiculous concept. Imagine the
level of conceit that it takes, the massive belief in your own self
importance that one must have, in order to believe that everyone else
cares enough about you and what you think for them to spend that much
time and energy trying to ruin your life. In all honesty strangers
generally just don't care enough to even notice you exist much less to
put forth any amount of concerted effort to bring you up or down. It
just does not happen.
The responsible person though knows that
life happens according to a formula. Everything that he says does thinks
or doesn't say do or think sets something into motion. All of the
things that happen are as a result of these actions or inactions. The
responsible person knows that rain doesn't happen to him. Rain just
happens. The police officer didn't wake up this morning and decide he
was writing the responsible guy a ticket. The police officer didn't even
know this guy existed until he started speeding. The responsible guy
knows that he is the source of the ticket. He has no reason to blame the
officer. The officer is just doing his job. If you don't speed, then
you don't get a ticket for speeding. If you don't speed you don't have
to sit by the side of the road and wait for the officer to write you a
ticket for the speeding that you did.
Now for another example.
Let's say that on your way to work today you get into a car accident.
While you may not have generated the crash itself, you are responsible
for being one of the people involved in the accident. If you had stayed
home today, you would not have gotten into a car accident. Okay so what
if you had stayed home? Yay! No accident for you. But, at work, a
coworker who has less knowledge than you in whatever your particular
area of expertise is, had to make a judgment call because you were not
there. And their judgment call ended up costing the company money
instead of making it money. You are just as responsible for the money
lost as you would have been for the accident. You are directly
responsible for the actions that you take and the actions that get taken
in your absence.
Victims say"well i can't control how long it
takes me to get to work in the morning" The responsible person knows
that is just not true. But it does require effort. You can control
whether or not you get to work on time, you just need to do your
homework first. You can drive to and from the location that you work
multiple times to get a good feel for how long of a drive it is. You can
do research to determine on average how much delay there will be under
various traffic and weather patterns and determine how early to leave
based on this information.
The victim is usually whiny,
complaining, frustrated and out of control. The responsible person is
usually calm, relaxed,happy and in control of their circumstances. Which
would you rather be?
Responsibility is about owning up to the
fact that you are the author of, the source of and the creator of
everything in your life. Even the stuff you do not like. You either
create, promote or allow everything that happens you. The simple fact of
the matter is that every choice leads to a consequence. And while you
may not realize right away which choices lead to which consequences, it
is true that if you made a different choice a different consequence
would occur.
You can be a victim and let things happen to you. OR you can be responsible and make things happen. It's your choice.
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