Why are they gods?

What is it about celebrities that makes people so crazy? They don't have super powers. None of them have ever cured the world's hunger problems or managed to create world peace. Yet still we treat them like they are gods.

Why? They are just men and women like you and me. Okay maybe not exactly like you and me. With hard work, dedication,discipline, and yes a bit of luck, they have achieved SOME of their goals. And the success that they have earned has brought them into the spotlight. Many of these movie and music stars have thousands or even millions of fans. They all bleed just as red as you or I. And they all eat, shit, sleep and have sex just like you and I.

What makes them different? Their success and our adoration. If you take those things away from them, they are just normal hard working citizens. Why do we put them up on pedestals like we do? The answer is simple. Our idols have what we wish we could have. And it is easier to celebrate and imagine their success than it is to have our own. We see people that have what we want to have and we subconsciously fantasize about being them. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't tip our hat to others that have already made it, but I don't think we should go any further than that. Recognize people that have what you want, but then use their model for success as stepping stones to get you where you want to be.

Think about it. Honestly, a lot of musicians and movie stars are in it for the fame and fortune. But there are probably just as many that do what they do for the art of it. There is something within them that they feel needs expressing in a way that only they can do and they do not care whether or not it is popular. It is personal. The fact that it makes them a ton of money and millions of fans is just a side effect. And for many of them the attention and hero worship that they get from the masses is completely unwanted. They want to live their private lives just like you do. But nosy people are constantly butting in and trying to see what they are doing every minute of every day. How many times have you seen paparazzi photos or video of some celebrity out eating somewhere or on a beach. They are sitting there minding their own business, just enjoying their day. But as soon as they realize the cameras are there they try hiding their face or covering up and going somewhere else. Respectful recognition is nice but often times it gets carried way too far.

Stop worshiping celebrities and start copying the habits and trends that made them successful. Stop wishing and start doing. Quit idolizing them and start becoming someone that other people look up to and want to be like.

What are we forgetting?

Holidays have always kind of amused me. I mean the term comes from a combination of the words holy and day. Here in America, generally, they are a day off of work and school. A lot of places are closed as a result of all the workers that are home for the day. But a holy day? I don't think so.
Well okay, maybe people do spend a little more time in church for holidays like Christmas or Easter.

There are actually specific religious ceremonies tied to those two. And a lot of people do observe them. But, what about President's Day or Valentine's Day or Memorial Day? I can see the desire to have a day dedicated to each one and even a reason for a day off to commemorate them, but I wouldn't exactly call them holy days.I suppose its easier to just lump them in with the other holy days instead of coming up with a different word for the other days where people get a day off.

And maybe it's just me, but I think some of our holidays should get a little more focus and some others I think should get a little less. Where I live sometimes Christmas decorations go up the day after Halloween. It's crazy. I mean Thanksgiving is still several weeks off and suddenly there are plastic santas and reindeer everywhere. What about Memorial Day? I was almost thirty before I even knew what it was. Quite often I get Memorial Day and Veteran's Day confused. Memorial Day started after the Civil war and commemorates all of the fallen soldiers who died while serving in the US armed forces. Veteran's Day honors people who have served in the armed services. So, technically one honors those that have died and the other honors those that are living. But where was that data when I was a kid? I always just knew it was a day off from school. It never occurred to me to ask or even to wonder what it was that we were supposed to be "celebrating".  I guess it does make sense that Christmas gets more airtime. We do get two weeks off from school for Christmas and New Year's combined. But what about the other holidays that only a single day are dedicated to? Shouldn't there be just as much time spent explaining exactly what it is that is being remembered for Veteran's Day as there is for Thanksgiving?

And I think Easter needs it's own category. I mean  on the one had there is the egg dying and hunting, also baskets filled with candy and other treats.  On Easter Sunday there are special church ceremonies having to do with Passover. One is about a rabbit that judges children to be good or bad and the other is about the death and subsequent resurrection of the son of the Christian god.What does one have to do with the other? Absolutely nothing. Well, there are actually some ties between the bunny symbol and Christianity but nothing that the average person knows about.

Try asking a five year old what Easter is about. I would bet money that nine out of ten children tell you about candy and don't mention Jesus at all. Am I going to spend a lot of time and energy shifting the amount of attention that Halloween and Christmas get in order for Easter and Memorial day to see more? No, not at this point. I am just observing and commenting.

How big is your shoe?

Although I have never been a Boy Scout, I have had many friends and family members who were. One of the things that they teach the kids really stuck out for me and is something that I strongly identify with. They say you should leave any area that you come to in the same or better condition than you found it. It's called leaving a small footprint on the world around you.

This should kind of go without saying. I mean who is responsible for the state of the world today? That's right people. They say there are around seven billion of us now. And if each person just went through life without paying any attention to their habits and the impact they have on the world, the world would quickly become a wreck. What's that you say? It is a wreck?

When I first heard about this concept it appealed to me. I liked the idea of leaving every area that I passed through the exact same way I found it. I could tread in the footprints of other people and leave none of my own. It seemed stealthy and ninja like. Better yet, there would be no negative impact on society. I could make sure, that I personally did not make the world a worse place than it already is.

I patterned my life after this ideal and still follow many of the habits that got started by this thought process. I wash all of my own clothes and the dishes I use. When leaving a room I make sure to throw away any napkins, bags or wrappers that I may be responsible for. I do not expect anybody to come behind me and clean up any mess I make. I do it myself. And no I do not live by myself. Currently there are four other adults living in my home.

You may have noticed that I initially locked onto leaving things in the same condition. But after awhile I started thinking. What if everybody did what I was doing? Wouldn't it be awesome? The world would not get any worse.

But it would not get any better either. And that started to bother me because I have nearly always believed that individuals are responsible for how the world is today. Individual action can and does make a difference. Don't believe me? Think about it this way. If all of the individuals were removed from the planet would there be any people left?

When people say one person can't make a difference, what they really mean is that when weighed against the actions of all the other people out there, that one person's efforts do not make a difference. And they are right. But, what they fail to realize is that when other people see one person taking a stand and doing something that they believe they also should be doing, other people start to emulate that one person. Soon one person becomes five and five become twenty and twenty become a whole community.

It occurred to me that in order to make the world a  better place, all it takes is for everybody to leave things in a better condition than they found them. Think about small details around your home. Maybe you have a drying rack for your dishes. Let's say you personally wash dry and put away every dish you use plus you put away one item already in the drying rack. From this point forward none of the dirty dishes laying around the house would be yours and that would be about it. But if you got everyone in your home to do this there would never be any dirty dishes lying around. And the drying rack would quickly become empty and stay empty, leaving less clutter in your kitchen. It only takes an extra minute or two, to wash whatever dishes you use. And it does make your home a better place.

Think about all the other chores around your house, laundry, the garbage or whatever there is, it all works the same way. If you handle everything that you are responsible for and then in each area take care of just one extra item that does not belong to you, your impact on your home becomes positive. If you get others in your home to do the same, then your home becomes a better place.

The best part about it is this concept scales with the effort you and yours are willing to put into it. First you can change your home. Then your home can be an example for others in the community. Then you can work on changing your community. Then you and your community can change the world.

So, in closing, I say this. Leave a big footprint on the world. Just make it a good one.

Are you the solution?

My step dad always used to say, you are either part of the problem or you are part of the solution. When I was kid, for some reason I always took that to mean that if you are not actively working to solve a problem then you had no right to complain about whatever it was.  As an adult I see a huge disconnect there and have no idea where I was coming from. I don't recall clearly why he said it all the time. It's possible that he only said it when I was complaining about something.  What he was actually saying is there are two possibilities when it comes to problems, you are either actively solving them, or you are creating them.

I have changed a lot mentally since I was a kid. I know that I used to be a victim of the things my stepdad said and did.  I remember specific thoughts that I used to have about hatred and patricide. But it has been so long since I thought that way that I do not remember my overall mindset.  I can see though how I created a lot of the problems that were in my life then and how I avoid them now. As a kid, it wasn't my job to be the one actively solving problems, that's what parents are for isn't it? Yes and no. It is their job to teach us while we are growing up how to solve problems so that when we become adults we can handle whatever the world throws our way. So many parents nowadays do not really teach their kids any good habits at all, much less how to solve problems.

But think about it. In how many areas of your life are you constantly whining and complaining about something instead of taking positive action to change the things that you do not like? In your job? Your family?Your friendships? Your community?

We as a people, have a tendency to complain to other people about our problems but never really do anything about it. If you don't like the way your government is run the tendency is to not take part and avoid getting involved, which contributes to it staying the same or getting worse. If you want it to be different, make it different. Find other like minded voices in your community and be a stand for change. Or maybe even run for office and take a more direct hand in molding your government the way you think it should be.  If there are things you do not like in your marriage, take action. Talk to your spouse about whatever it is that isn't working for you in a mature responsible way, with no finger pointing or accusations, just a simple summation of the facts. Define what it is that is not working for you and how you would like to see it change. Don't like how things are going at work? Find time to discuss the issues with your boss and see if things can be handled amicably at your job. If not find a new job.

Something to think about. How much time do you spend complaining to your friends about how badly your life sucks? That is what your friends are there for right? They are there so you can complain about how bad you have it? No, not really. They may be willing to listen but I can tell you for sure they are not looking forward to all the depressing things that you are constantly unloading on them.

If you are not actively working to improve your life, other people are not interested in hearing about the parts that you do not like.Don't bitch about what is going on and don't suffer in silence. Change it.

If you are actively working to improve your life, then there is nothing to complain about. Your conversation automatically becomes more motivational and uplifting. You tell people what is going on and what you are doing to make it better and often times that will spark an interest in the listener as they hear something in what you say that may give them an idea about how to improve their own lives.

I used to be part of the problem, but now I am part of the solution.

Into Darkness

So, I saw the new Star Trek: Into Darkness movie recently

And I have to say the experience was completely amazing. We went and saw it in 3D and the visuals were awesome. The plot was pretty good. The cast for both this and the movie before it really resemble the original bridge crew from the 1960's, especially Scotty, Uhura and Bones. Also,a large part of the very enjoyable plot of this movie was devoted to dealing with an issue that came up in the original 2nd movie as well. The sound track was fantastic, both the music and the sound effects.

What really made the movie worth the money though was that it was filmed in ATMOS sound, which is a relatively new creation by Dolby. The sound set up is designed for up to 64 speakers at once. The theater we went to  had speakers in two rows on either side of the theater and a couple of rows of speakers on the ceiling as well.  Instead of the standard 8 or so speakers there were dozens and every single one of them produced crystal clear sound. At times when something in the movie was off screen to the left or right the sound would come from the appropriate speaker and it really created the illusion of the movie happening all around you. When an explosion rocked one of the ships in the movie the whole theater vibrated along with the crew of the ship. And between the 3D and the sound it was difficult not to duck when debris from one of those explosions shot off towards you.

What was surprising to me is that there weren't all that many people in the showing that we went to see. I think there were like twenty people and it was opening weekend. Now, it was a midnight showing and the 3D ATMOS tickets are more expensive, but it is so worth every penny. According to box office numbers the movie did really well. I think every movie theater in the world should have the ATMOS sound and every movie should be filmed using it. We have a habit of going to the movies on average once a week. When we go there are usually between 5 and 12 people that all go together as a group of family and friends. The theater that we used to normally go to does not have ATMOS, though they do have 3D movies and they do have XD sound, which is good. It just isn't ATMOS, something that must be experienced to hear and feel the difference.

We have started going to a theater about ten miles further away from our house to see films in the ATMOS theater. If we average 9 tickets per night that we go out and the average ticket is around 15 dollars once you include online ticket fees, 3D and high definition sound costs, our local movie theater is losing $126 per week,  from us, on ticket sales alone. Often times, we also purchase snacks and drinks. You know what movie theater snacks cost? Let's just say they are losing about $200 a week or $800 a month, just from us.

The cost of the full ATMOS sound set up is around $50,000. $800 a month is just under $10,000 a year ($9600). So...six groups like my family and friends would make the cost of upgrading worth the trouble for our local theater in under a year.

I keep meaning to mention it to them, But we so seldom go there anymore.

Reactive Vs Proactive

Welcome to a great new wonderful today.

While thinking through the victim and responsible stances, I noticed that there is one major difference between the two. Victims react. Responsible people proact.

Being proactive is about looking at the situation from different angles and figuring out ahead of time what the likely outcomes are and deciding what you will do in each of those possible circumstances. This way, you are ready for whatever happens. You are ready if things go the way you want them to and you are ready if they do not. And you already know what step to take next.

It may seem more interesting or romantic to not plan anything and to just let things happen as they come. And if you have no responsibilities, family ties, ambitions or goals in life it may work for awhile. But, generally, it eventually leads to sadness(and madness). The problem isn't the fact that you are being random and chaotic. The problem is the reactionary mindset. A proactive person knows that he is responsible for every outcome of every circumstance. The reactive person knows that everyone but him is responsible for every outcome in every circumstance. The problem is that the reactive person is wrong. He is just as responsible for everything that happens, he just chooses to blame others rather than accept the responsibility.

Take a minute and think about it, from the point of view of a boss hiring a new employee. Which person would you rather have working for you? Would you rather have the guy that is always whining and complaining about all the bad things happening to him and never prepared to handle new circumstances and responsibilities? Or would you rather have the guy that owns up to his errors has a kind word to say about everyone else in the office and is always prepared for more no matter how many curves you throw at him?

How about in a relationship? Do you want a partner that always blames everything on you no matter what happens? Wouldn't you rather be with someone that realizes that something went wrong, admits their part in it and suggests a better way of handling things in the future?

Have you noticed the trend? The reactive person places blame and the proactive person accepts responsibility.   Opposites attract right? So a reactive person and a proactive person should be a good match. Not really. Remember the reactive person is a victim. They whine and complain about everything. The other thing is blame and responsibility are not the same thing. The purpose of blame is finger pointing and often name calling.With blame there is no room for growth or change.  It is a completely negative thing. Responsibility is personal ownership of something.  It is empowering and allows for positive change.

Are you proactive or reactive? In your personal life, are you a victim or are you responsible?

Responsibility. What is it?pt2

So the last post was an example of how differently two people can react to the same circumstances.

The victim has no control. He has no idea what is out there or what is coming at him next. all he can do is react. So that's all he does and usually he reacts badly. He knows and really does believe that the world is out to get him. But this really is a ridiculous concept. Imagine the level of conceit that it takes, the massive belief in your own self importance that one must have, in order to believe that everyone else cares enough about you and what you think for them to spend that much time and energy trying to ruin your life. In all honesty strangers generally just don't care enough to even notice you exist much less to put forth any amount of concerted effort to bring you up or down. It just does not happen.

The responsible person though knows that life happens according to a formula. Everything that he says does thinks or doesn't say do or think sets something into motion. All of the things that happen are as a result of these actions or inactions. The responsible person knows that rain doesn't happen to him. Rain just happens. The police officer didn't wake up this morning and decide he was writing the responsible guy a ticket. The police officer didn't even know this guy existed until he started speeding. The responsible guy knows that he is the source of the ticket. He has no reason to blame the officer. The officer is just doing his job. If you don't speed, then you don't get a ticket for speeding. If you don't speed you don't have to sit by the side of the road and wait for the officer to write you a ticket for the speeding that you did.

Now for another example. Let's say that on your way to work today you get into a car accident. While you may not have generated the crash itself, you are responsible for being one of the people involved in the accident. If you had stayed home today, you would not have gotten into a car accident. Okay so what if you had stayed home?  Yay! No accident for you. But, at work, a coworker who has less knowledge than you in  whatever your particular area of expertise is, had to make a judgment call because you were not there. And their judgment call ended up costing the company money instead of making it money. You are just as responsible for the money lost as you would have been for the accident.  You are directly responsible for the actions that you take and the actions that get taken in your absence.

Victims say"well i can't control how long it takes me to get to work in the morning"  The responsible person knows that is just not true. But it does require effort. You can control whether or not you get to work on time, you just need to do your homework first. You can drive to and from the location that you work multiple times to get a good feel for how long of a drive it is. You can do research to determine on average how much delay there will be under various traffic and weather patterns and determine how early to leave based on this information.

The victim is usually whiny, complaining, frustrated and out of control. The responsible person is usually calm, relaxed,happy and in control of their circumstances. Which would you rather be?

Responsibility is about owning up to the fact that you are the author of, the source of and the creator of everything in your life. Even the stuff you do not like. You either create, promote or allow everything that happens you. The simple fact of the matter is that every choice leads to a consequence. And while you may not realize right away which choices lead to which consequences, it is true that if you made a different choice a different consequence would occur.

You can be a victim and let things happen to you. OR you can be responsible and make things happen. It's your choice.

Responsibility. What is it?pt1

When things happen in life there are two ways the events can be processed in your mind. One way is that these things happen to you. The other is that they happen because of you.

The first is called the victim point of view or victim stance. It is the one that most of the world subscribes to. It is the belief that all these things happen to you and that you have no control over any of it. The victim leaves his house for work in the morning and starts cursing because as soon as he gets out the door he realizes that it is raining. All the way to work he is fuming because the rain is making it hard to see so other people are driving slower.  He is worried about being late so he tries to speed to make up for the poor conditions. A police officer sees him speeding, stops him and writes him a ticket. The officer goes on his way and now the victim is frustrated and cursing about how the police officer made him even later to work. Eventually he does get to work and nothing else really goes wrong but he has a terrible day all the same because of how angry he is that the rain and the police officer made him late.

The other point of view is the responsible viewpoint or the responsible stance. The responsible guy checks the weather report the night before and knows that it is likely to be raining on the way to work. He sets his alarm a few minutes earlier to compensate for the delay that the rain will likely cause. About half way to work he realizes that the rain is coming down so hard that he is still going to be late to work. So he also tries a bit of speeding to make up a little extra time. He also ends up with a ticket for his efforts making him even later to work. Unlike the victim though, the responsible guy still has a pretty good day. Why is that?

Well it all has to do with blame. When you ask the victim what happened he'll tell you about how it was just awful. I mean first it was raining on him when he left for work. And he'll say it as if the rain was specifically targeting him. Then he will go on to tell you about how all the other people were making him later by driving slow. And that when he did try something proactive (speeding) he got punished for that too(the ticket). He tried to slip in unnoticed when he got to work. He got caught sneaking in and got reprimanded for that. He will seriously paint this tale about how the whole world was out to get him and that there was nothing he could do about it. He's depressed angry and frustrated about every little detail. The victim blames everyone but himself.

The responsible guy strolls in twenty minutes late to work he's bright and cheerful. His boss asks why he's late and gets a completely different story than the victim gave. Mr. Responsible says "First, I apologize for being late.  I knew it was going to be raining this morning so I left a little early. As it turns out I failed to anticipate just how bad of a delay the rain would cause. I should have left even earlier. I started doing a few miles over the speed limit to attempt to offset the amount that the rain had put me behind and shortly thereafter a police officer showed up to remind me that I was breaking another commitment, by speeding.  The officer stopping me and writing me a ticket in the rain took about twenty additional minutes. I should have just kept pace with the rest of the herd. In the future when I know it is going to be raining during my morning drive, I will leave my house even earlier, to be sure that I am not late for work. " This guys isn't blaming anyone or anything. His boss, seeing his mature responsible attitude does not see the need to write him up or even mention company policy about tardiness. The responsible guy has shown that he knows and understands what is expected of him. He also followed the correct procedure for breaking his commitment to be on time. He acknowledged his lateness and it's cause. He apologized for it and he set a future expectation for similar circumstances.

Come back later for part two of, the victim vs responsible stance.

Am I human?

I had an experience when I was very young that not many people can honestly say has happened to them. I died.

My mom had left me with a friend of hers for some time. I am not sure if it was a couple of hours or a few days. He and I were out walking and I fell into a canal. And drowned. Even though I was only two at the time, parts of it are still very clear to me.

What his place looked like or how close it was to the water, I could not tell you. But I can tell you that I had an out of body experience unlike anything else I have ever heard of anyone mentioning. Typical examples of astral projection mention being able to leave your body and experience being somewhere else. What I experienced was being in two places at once something that everyone says is impossible. It doesn't change things though.

I clearly recall being in the water, on my back looking up while, struggling to stay afloat and seeing a slightly transparent being a few dozen feet above me.  I was crying out and asking it for help. And I also was the transparent being looking down at the child in the water. I remember not feeling any sense of attachment to the other as either being. As the transparent being I was thinking that it would be a shame if that child below me died and thinking that someone really should help him out. It was this odd loop of me looking up at me looking down at me looking up at me. But neither me felt that the other was me.

And then the child in the water died. And the transparent me had a completely different unbelievable adventure of it's own that I will tell another time.  The drowned two year old was eventually rescued from the canal and taken by ambulance to a hospital.   I had not taken a breath for nearly forty five minutes.  Nobody could survive that long without breathing. Irreparable brain damage starts to happen after about five minutes.  The doctor was filling out DOA paperwork, when I suddenly started breathing again, weakly I'm sure. I spent the next month or so in a coma and nobody knew if I would survive. The doctor told my family that even if I did one day wake up, I would likely  be a vegetable. I would probably never be able to dress, bathe or feed myself. I might never walk without help or learn to talk or read. I would certainly require someone to take care of me every day for the rest of my life.

Well one day, I did come out of that coma. And the doctor could not have been more wrong. I have become one of the brightest, most adaptable, capable people that I have ever encountered. But, my brain certainly does not work in the way most other people's does. I do not have certain stumbling blocks that other people do. They are just not there and have never been.  People often say well if I can do it then anyone can do it. I do try to use those examples myself. But somehow it always ends up that I am the exception that proves the rule. Things are just different for me. Most things come easier to me than other people and sometimes I don't even know the stumbling blocks exist until other people point them out to me. I am not better than other people, just different. A lot of my time has been spent pondering the why of it.  I think when I fell in the canal I was just an average kid. When I awoke from the coma and every day since, I have been well above average.

Two different theories have occurred to me.  One is that my brain was damaged when I drowned, and against all probable odds, it was damaged in only positive ways. The other theory is one that students of astral projection might enjoy. There is a strongly held belief that the body is just a house for a spirit. Naturally humans occupy the house meant for their bodies. But when one astral projects, their spirit is believed to be exiting the body and going off on an adventure. It is commonly believed that when the shell is empty any other spirits nearby can come and take up residence. That is primarily what demonic possession is supposed to be about.  What if the child really did die that day and never did come back and the reason I was in a coma for a month was a new possibly non human spirit entered my body  and it took that long to take control of its new house?

In my normal life I tend to avoid using the same keyword over and over. In fact, I usually go out of my way to use a different word instead of a keyword each time I want to express a similar concept. So using keywords on the internet takes a bit of conscious effort from me.I am in something of a silly mood today so I decided i'd play around with keyword density.

To both quote and mangle a meme: I heard you liked keywords, so I decided to keyword a keyword into your keyword so you can

keyword

your keyword

while you keyword.

Keyword?

But what is the key word about keywords? How much is too much? After doing a bit of quick research it seems that about 1-4% keyword density is the suggested amount. Some people say that more than 1% of your text containing your keyword seems like spam and others say less then 4% of your text containing the keyword is simply not enough. There will likely be a much larger amount of keywords in this keyword article than 4% . I want to use enough keywords to flood the keyword density tool. A truly ridiculous amount of keywords goes into this keyword post about keywords.

But with all the keywords in existence why should any one suggested use of a keyword be any better or worse than any other keyword? Keywords are just keywords right? Shouldn't the right amount of keywords in your work be exactly however many uses of the keyword it takes to get your point across, with not one keyword more or one keyword less? Keywords are found everywhere on the internet. No matter where you look there is always a keyword or three. Keywords are THE keywords that people use to get your attention and to hopefully help search engines find your web page. Without keywords, many of the top visited sites on the web would be on the 10th page or lower in searches. Keywords are king. Often, keywords alone will determine whether a site succeeds or fails.  So finding the best keywords for your page is very important. Use the wrong keywords and nobody will find ever find you. Use the right keywords and your work will be at the top of the heap.

What if I used the keyword keyword too many times?  What if my keyword density is too high and my keyword post with all it's many keywords and uses of the word keyword is seen by a spider as spam? If I have used the keyword keyword too many times and my keyword post is seen as spam, then I suppose my keyword post with all it's keywords will not be indexed. Then my keyword filled post will join many other keyword clogged pages at the very bottom of the internet. This post with all it's keywords will circle the drain for awhile, but due to having such a high keyword density, the keywords will band together and literally clog the drain. The keywords in this post and the keywords in the posts written by others that surround it at the bottom will fill up the nooks and crannies in the drain at the bottom of the keyword ocean and prevent it from emptying. Our forgotten pages full of keywords will be the foundation that keeps the rest of the keyword ocean from going down the drain entirely.

I think that is just about enough keywords. If you haven't gotten the keyword about keywords by now, you are never going to get the keyword. Join me next time for another exciting adventure,one with decidedly less keywords.

Good vs Evil

The battle of good against evil is thousands of years old. But what exactly is evil?

A couple of years ago, I was reading this book by David Farland.  Off the top of my head I do not remember which, but it was one of the books in his Runelords series.  And the question of good vs evil came up. One of the characters had a definition for evil. I am describing what I remember of what he said.

He said imagine a circle that includes all of your possessions and ideals and  thoughts. Now imagine that circle being inside a larger circle which is all of the possessions and ideals and thoughts of your family. And now imagine one more circle outside of that one which includes all of the possessions, ideals and thoughts of your community.

As you go through your life each of those circles should continue to grow. Things that contribute to that growth are good. Things that take away from or injure the occupants of those circles are evil.
To be honest, I really like the imagery involved in that. It's very simple, cut and dried. A rival tribe comes into your community rapes, loots, plunders and murders your people. They are evil right? Against blatantly obvious examples, it allows you to feel justified in believing this system.It sounds good on the surface. But it's really too simplistic.

What about when it is your community that takes from you, decreasing your circle but increasing it's own?  Taxes for example. Taxes serve the community, allowing it to serve you.  Or community taking from your family. Let's say your son is drafted into the military and dies serving his country. He was forced to go. Your family circle was decimated by the loss and suppose your community(country) lost the fight he was in. Your community circle didn't gain either. And finally what about bank robbers. They make the community circle smaller by stealing from the community. And to a lesser extent it also affects the other two circles as well. So it's definitely an evil act right? But, how about if the bank robbers randomly dropped sacks of cash at people's front doors in your neighborhood? And what if your front door was one of those doors? They would be increasing your family and personal circles. So then it would be a good act right? And what about the robbers themselves? They are increasing their own personal and family circles aren't they? Wouldn't this just reinforce the action being good?

While it seems that the same action can have both positive and bad consequences on different people or groups of people this does not seem like a sound definition for good and evil. It does start to point us in the right direction though.

Religion would have us believe that it is any act or thought that is counter to what a god or group of gods says you should do. At first I would say this is a load of garbage due to what most people think of when they say the word god. I do not believe a supernatural power should be defining good and evil. I feel that each person should be making that decision for themselves.  Now wait a minute. That actually resonates with some of my previous posts. If you view yourself as a god, the author of your life, the ruler of what does and does not happen to you, then the definition of evil becomes any act or thought that you perform that is counter to what you think you should. It begins to come down to what you think is right and wrong for you to do. Anything outside of your moral code is evil.

Does that make anyone who disagrees with your way of thinking evil? No, not exactly. You get to define what is right and wrong for you. You do not get to define that for others, except your children. Good is what is right for you to do. Evil is what is wrong for you to do.  It boils down to good and evil simply being value judgements. Each person has their own value judgement system. So each person has their own code for what is good and evil.

More on this later. I promise just not sure when. I have a lot more to say but am not sure what direction I want to go in. See you tomorrow.

Somewhat of a repeat

In the process of doing some reading, designed to help with my goal of self improvement, I was asked to do an exercise that involves some self reflection. I decided to post the parts that I was writing down here, so that I can come back to them later. Some of the information I already shared here in the A bit about me post.

First I was asked to describe my five best qualities. This was pretty easy as I have a good opinion of myself and am not constantly struggling to come up with just one nice thing to say about me. I am honest, intelligent, loyal, hard working and observant.

The next one was a little harder though. I was asked to name ten positive things that I have done in the past year. Let's see. I have reduced our household's monthly bills by about $200 by making different choices with our air conditioner usage and internet provider. About a month ago I started a blog(this one). Recently, I have committed to(and have been) spending more time on self
improvement. Just a week ago I acquired completionist in DDO, which is something that I had been working on for about 2 years. In the last several months I have read several new books, some fantasy fiction and some on self empowerment. I have watched many of the movies on my to see list. Last week I helped some friends resolve an issue that has been plaguing their relationship for over a year. I have provided feedback and advice for someone close to me that is going through some of her own self improvement steps. Spent time playing with my son, probably the one thing on this list I have enjoyed the most.  And last but not least I encouraged a friend to get off his ass and stop procrastinating about going to vocational school.

The final area of self reflection for this exercise is about sharing some favorites.
My favorite types of music are heavy metal, classical music, hard rock and blues, pretty much in that order. My favorite band is Iron Maiden. I have been listening to them for over two decades. But I have found within just about every genre there  is something worth listening to. There truly is talent everywhere.

My favorite books are invariably sword and sorcery style fantasy fiction and science fiction. The best fantasy book series ever written is the Wheel of Time, by the late Robert Jordan.

My favorite movie is Independence Day or really anything directed by Roland Emmerich. The special effects are so amazing. He is always blowing up large real world structures, quite often through massive natural disasters.

In the past I would say may favorite television show was either Firefly or Heroes. Of the things currently running my favorite is Castle.

After sharing my favorite TV shows it should come as no surprise that my favorite actor is Nathan Fillion.  I do not really have a favorite actress. Though I suppose Hayden Panettiere , Natalie Portman, Michelle Pfeiffer and Amy Adams are all in the running.

I really do not often watch professional sports. So I don't have a favorite sports team. I enjoy watching the Olympics, both summer and winter. Sometimes I watch the playoffs for basketball or every other year the Super Bowl for football.

It may surprise you to know that I have never really been on vacation. My favorite city that I have been to is Columbus Ohio, the fast food capital of the world.  I'd like to visit Ireland one day though.

My favorite type of car is either a Lamborghini Countach or the Mclaren F1 .

My favorite type of food is either a porterhouse steak cooked Pittsburgh style or a breaded deep fried pork chop. And funnily enough my two favorite places to eat, Antonio's Pizza-rant and Char-Hut do not serve either.

I do not drink often, but when I do, I prefer to drink a lot.  My favorite alcoholic beverages are Oatmeal Cookies and Paintballs.

And that's all for now. More soon.

Random Musings

For over a decade I have been interested in self empowerment. I have taken many steps on the path to self improvement and enlightenment. There have been multiple workshops attended and dozens of books read. And there have been massive improvements in my way of being. But it is a never ending journey. There is always more work ahead. Sometimes though, I have trouble remembering the way I used to be.

I recognize certain patterns and behaviors in people, things that I find  horribly inefficient or just plain not useful at all. And I find myself wondering if I ever did those things. I watch what is going on and can see why the person is doing what they are doing even though it just seems so stupid to me.  My tendency is to put myself in their place and to think about how I would act and react under similar circumstances.

In some ways I think I have nearly always been more advanced than those around me, especially people my own age.  I do have a fairly high IQ and do not like making the same mistakes over and over. Many people learn from their own mistakes. I do too. But, I have found that it can be much more efficient to learn from the mistakes that you watch other people make.  If you go to places where there are lots of people, all the time, like malls or convention centers you can watch dozens or even hundreds of people all around you and learn from the mistakes they make without ever needing to do the things that they do.

I was out with a friend today at a local fast food establishment. He and I were in the line together. He ordered and paid for his food. A solid ten minutes passed by before the cashier took my order. And I was the very next person in line behind my friend.

While we were waiting for our food there were more people in line behind us waiting to order. The cashier was taking one order at a time, waiting for the food and drink to be completely prepared for each order before taking another.  She did not know where anything was on the register and had to call someone over several times to show her. The restaurant was not that busy. In the nearly 30 minutes it took my friend and I to order, pay for and receive our food, only about five customers were serviced at the counter.  The cashier was just standing there after each order looking at the people who were preparing the food and waiting for them to hand it to her before turning around and handing it to the customer.

I have worked fast food before and even managed, so I know all of the things that she should have been doing. She had plenty of time to make sure that things like condiments, straws, cups and to go bags were fully stocked. She could have taken an extra moment or two to memorize the location of one of the items that she had had trouble finding on the register. She should have apologized for the wait and let us know that our food was coming soon. She could have engaged in polite conversation to make the wait seem less long. There was also plenty of time to wipe down the counters.  AND she could have taken all of the other orders, so that it was obvious that the hold up was not her fault.  It is obvious that she does not have a complete concept of how the whole operation works.  There is almost never nothing to do in the food service business. Standing still is not supposed to happen. There is always something that you can do to make the process go smoother for the customer, even if it means offering to help someone with something that is not strictly "your job".

I could tell she believed she was doing her best though. So I didn't complain. It is difficult for me to tell, without knowing them better,  when someone is ignorant due to being new, incompetent because they simply don't care or is actually too stupid to be taught. I also find myself wondering if she is a person of average  intelligence. Is standing around waiting for others to make things happen the average thing to do?

Broken agreements pt2

No matter how hard you try, even when you have just the right amount of commitments in your life, you can not always keep every agreement you make. As we have discussed, ignoring commitments that you can not keep does not work. So what should you do?

There is a basic three step system for handling broken agreements that everyone should follow.  It allows for the highest probability of positive energy flow amongst all participants. These steps are simple yet magickal.

First, acknowledge to whomever that you had the agreement with, that it has been broken. This lets others know that you realize that a commitment has gone awry and that you are not planning to try sweeping it under the rug and moving on.

Second,  give a sincere and heartfelt apology for having broken the commitment. This does a couple of things. It shows empathy  for the feelings that you hurt and contrition for not having kept your word.

Third and most important, set future expectations regarding that commitment.  Options for that are recommitting, renegotiating, or perhaps stating that you are no longer planning on keeping that commitment.

Recommitting is stating that the thing you committed to is still important to you and you still intend to see it through.

Renegotiating is stating that something has changed. You might still be willing to see the commitment through to it's conclusion but some part of the agreement is going to have to change for that to be true. Either it is not as important to you now as it was before, or not as important as you thought it was. Or some facet of the world surrounding the agreement has changed to make it seem less important to you. It is at this point that you offer the other person or persons involved the opportunity to work with you in changing the agreement to be more inline with the current vision of things.

If you are not willing to recommit and you or the other parties involved are not willing to renegotiate then the only option left is stating that the commitment will go unfulfilled. This might seem like previously where we discussed ignoring a commitment. But it is not. We are directly confronting the circumstance and clearly stating our intentions. When we do this, the commitment at hand dissolves and the energy that is tied up with it returns to all parties involved.

So to recap. Make commitments in your life in moderation, balancing the pros and cons and look for the places in your life where new commitments will fit in with old ones.  Do your best to keep your word. But, when  an agreement has been broken do not despair. Simply acknowledge, apologize and set future expectations.

This pattern of behavior will allow others to see you as an honest, reliable, trustworthy and valuable addition to both their business and personal lives. And isn't that how we truly want things to be?
As always thank you for visiting me and see you next time.

Broken agreements pt1

Welcome back for our discussion about broken agreements. What is a broken agreement? It is a promise, a commitment,  that has been made but not kept. A person's word was given and then broken. What's the big deal anyways, you can just say sorry and then move on right? Not exactly. It is more complicated than that.

But first, how do things like this happen? What are the reasons for broken commitments? Sometimes, when people make a commitment, they are saying yes with their lips but no with their minds. They are agreeing to what they are being asked but, so strongly do not want to do what they are being asked, that if they were being honest with themselves, they would know they are not going to see it through.  Or they DO know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are not going to keep it. They are just saying whatever it takes to get the other person off their back. Also, as we discussed before, sometimes people make too many commitments. They do actually want to do everything they said they would, it just simply isn't possible.  Another possibility is that the person that made the original commitment may have had a change of heart or circumstance. They may have been committed to making it happen before but no longer feel that way or are no longer capable of making it happen.

Most of the time when agreements are broken, do you know how they are handled? They aren't. That's right. The agreement is simply ignored as if it had never been made.  Well that is not entirely true. On the surface it seems like the agreement is being ignored. See when you make a commitment you and whoever else  are involved are each tying some of your personal energy into seeing that a thing happens. You tell a friend that you will make sure to bring them something special back from your vacation to Italy because they didn't get to go with you. It is a small thing. But you and your friend both have energy tied to that commitment.  If you come back from vacation without that special something that you promised them, your agreement is broken. You realize that you forgot while you were there and you can't change it now, but you feel embarrassed. So you decide not to mention it. Your friend is a little upset that you didn't keep your word, but doesn't want to seem like a nag or someone who is only interested in material possessions. So, they don't say anything either.  But that bit of guilt and embarrassment on your part and hurt on their part is now tied to that circumstance. It is part of each of your personal stores of energy that does not come back to you.

When your commitments are fulfilled, the energy that you have tied to it comes back to you and helps you to be prepared to meet future commitments. When you fail to keep your commitments you have less and less personal energy for future commitments. People that do not keep their commitments tend to have lower energy levels. They give it out but do not get it back. So eventually they can't keep up. They are tired all the time, depressed and unmotivated. Take a minute and think about the people in your life. Look for the pattern I am describing. It is not that hard to see, if you know to look.

Due to the ever changing nature of the world around us and all the people we come in contact with, it is virtually impossible to keep every agreement we make. That is just a fact.  So, how then do you get that energy back? Ignoring the agreement obviously isn't the answer. The trick is in how you handle an agreement once you have come to the realization that it has been or must be broken.

Tomorrow we will talk about the three basic steps to handling a broken agreement in a mature responsible manner that empowers you and those around you.

Commitment pt4

Now for the last of the common misuses of commitment, people who under commit. You do keep the commitments that you make, you just do not make that many. When you under commit you make some commitments but not really enough to make your life work the way it should. You are putting in some effort, but out of a fear of not being able to keep your commitments you commit probably less than half of the time that you should. In fact, some people will think you do not make any commitments because they are never around on the rare occasions when you agree to something new. Others will see you make some commitments but not the ones that they ask you to do. Many of them will take it personally, deciding that other people (and their judgments of you) are more important than they are.  People who under commit are also often considered unreliable and wishy-washy.

Take some time and think about it.  Over committing, under committing, not committing at all. Are you doing any of these things? Have I made too many commitments or not enough? Am I keeping the commitments that I do make?  Part of being a mature responsible person is taking the time to reflect on how you handle the situations that come up in your life. Part of being a person that others feel is honest, reliable and trustworthy is by making the right amount of commitments, keeping them whenever possible and saying and doing the right things when you can not keep them or when you can not comfortably make new ones.  With commitments moderation really is the key. When someone asks you to commit to something new, you get to reflect on your life and the amount of commitments that you currently have and figure out how much of an additional strain on your life the added commitment will make. If that additional amount is acceptable, you can see yourself following through with it, and you intend to follow through with it then agree. If any of those things are not true, do not agree and explain why.

Communication is very important here. Sometimes one of the reasons that you can not see yourself following through with a new commitment is something that can be handled. The road block may be able to moved out of the way so to speak.  What if the reason you don't want to take on anymore is due to a time constraint of another commitment. For example, Let's say your boss comes and asks you to work four extra hours on Fridays but he will pay you time and a half for the whole day. You hesitate to make the commitment to  work the additional hours, even though it would be quite a bit more money,  because on Friday evenings  you babysit for a friend who is taking night classes.  Her classes are only for another two weeks and he wants you to work the extra hours for the next six months. Your boss agrees to change your schedule starting three weeks from now and everybody is happy.

Unless the commitment is something you are just flat out not interested in, never say no point blank. You will have much more value to those around you if they realize that you do care about what matters to them and if you are willing to work towards finding an acceptable solution to their problem, whether it directly involves you or not. And quite often this involves negotiation.  When the commitment that they are asking of you is something that you are not entirely opposed to but not completely happy with, find a way to change it so that it works for both of you.  Use negotiation to fine tune the details of new commitments, to sweeten the deal for you and so that they fit within the bounds of commitments you have already made.

That's it for today about commitments.  Next time we will talk about what happens with broken agreements.

Commitment pt3

So we are talking about commitments and how people use the way you handle your commitments to determine their judgement of you and your overall value to them. It seems logical then, that we discuss what the most likely possibilities for how you can handle your commitments.

The first thing that comes to mind is that you can commit to whatever anyone asks you to do, even if you have no intention of actually doing it. This is one of the worst possible ways of handling things. It doesn't start out seeming that way though. In the beginning people will think you are awesome because you agree to all kinds of different things that need doing. And they "say man won't it be awesome to have all these things done! "  But, then as time passes and people see that your words and your deeds do not meet up, they may start to get angry that you don't do the things that you say you will. Worse yet, if you are consciously, making agreements that you have no intention of keeping you are lying directly to the people that you are making those agreements with. Isn't lying intentionally telling someone something that you know is not true? So this option makes you an unreliable liar.

Then there is the absolute opposite end of the spectrum. You do not want to make commitments that you are not going to keep, so you decide not to make any commitments at all. And at first, this seems like it might be a good idea. I mean at the very least you are not lying about what you are going to do. You just aren't declaring anything.  The problem here is that no one can count on you for anything at all. You might be on time, you might not, if you bother to even show up. You might pay your bills, you might not. You might shop, read a new book or watch the neighbor's kids, or you might not. Nobody has any way of knowing what you will or will not do. So you aren't a liar, but you are still unreliable and can't be trusted to do anything without supervision.

Those are the main extremes. Now we start moving towards the center. This next option is done a lot by nice people that are afraid to upset others around them. You can commit to everything that people ask of you, with every intention of keeping all of the commitments that you make. From my experience this is the most common mishandling of commitment. Again, at first, this doesn't seem like a problem because you haven't made that many commitments and things are manageable. You can keep all of your commitments at once. But, as time goes on and people see how good you are at keeping commitments they ask more and more of you. You have value to them as a person and they want more.  This makes you feel good so you make more and more commitments with more and more people. That's where the problem comes in, over committing. Regardless of what you do, there is only so much time in a day.  You agree to everything that is asked of you and to help make sure things get done you prioritize the commitments and do them from most important to least. What ends up happening, since you have made such an overwhelming amount of commitments, is that you get the big ones done(or mostly done) but there just isn't time for you to do all of them. AND as time goes on, you make even more commitments and a higher and higher percentage of them goes undone. This causes a couple of problems. One, your value to other people plummets because you are unreliable, untrustworthy and some people may start to think you are the liar from the first example. Also all kinds of problems tend to happen within yourself, such as guilt from your word being constantly broken. You may become overwhelmed and even depressed from all the work you have created for yourself. Or, you may develop self worth issues from the constant inability to do what you say.
Join me tomorrow where we will finish up the not so good options and talk about how you should handle your commitments.

Commitment pt2

We say things like: my word is my bond or my word is my honor and without it I am nothing. While it is true that your word is an extreme source of power it is more accurate to say that the value others place on your word is what matters.

Does that not make sense to you? Well, think about it for a minute. Let's say you are an employer looking for someone who can speak English, French and Spanish and can fluently translate from one to the other for the purposes of writing up technical documents. When asked about my ability to do the job, I am free to say that my skin is made of tadpoles, I had four trillion chickens for breakfast, I am only one second old and I am fluent in three different languages. If I share all four of those different claims in the same sentence(especially in that order), you are not likely to believe any of them, even though at least one of them may be absolutely true. If it is important to me that you believe the things that I am saying, what I say needs to not stretch the bounds of credulity, unless I can back up my verbiage with proof.

In this example, you are not going to hire me because you place no value on my word and my word is all you have to rely on.  A person's word alone is often  what gets them in the door when starting a new relationship, be it business or personal. Let's back up and say that during the interview, I don't say a bunch of "crazy stuff" when asked about my qualifications. I let you know that I speak Spanish, English and French and enjoy translating from one to another on a somewhat regular basis just to keep in practice. You give me a short quiz which I of course totally ace and voila! I am hired.

As time goes on though you start to compare my words to my actions and you judge for yourself how good my word is, what it's value is and whether or not you can really trust me.  Many of these judgements are done solely on the basis of how I handle my commitments. You decide whether or not I want to keep my job based on how frequently I show up on time. You decide how dependable I am based on how often I call out "sick" . You decide how trustworthy I am based on how often I meet deadlines. My worth as a person and the value of my word, go up and down in your eyes based on these metrics. My word itself eventually has no meaning at all except for how it relates to my actions. If my actions and my words are in harmony my word is good. If they are not in harmony my word is useless.

Commitment really is the marriage of word and deed. It is you giving your word that an action will occur. You are declaring that a thing will be and that you will be making it so. A commitment really is a pretty bold statement and by its very nature invites others to judge you and your word. If you don't want to be judged, wouldn't it be easier to just not commit to anything? Not necessarily.

Tune in next time when we will talk about how commitments or the  lack of them is likely to affect you personally.

Commitment pt1

I made a commitment to myself to write something in this blog everyday. Some days the muse is with me and I have no trouble at all coming up with a topic to write about and am filled with things to say. Often this is to the point where I end up making several posts at once to keep you from being ambushed by a veritable wall of text. And other days I simply sit here and stare at this screen with no idea what to do or say. I have since renegotiated that commitment to I will write an average of one post per day. And on the days that I am "ahead", if I decide not to write anything, then I am okay with that.

But what is a commitment? Simply put, it is a promise that something will or will not occur.  The act of saying that you will make sure something happens is a commitment. It is a promise, even if you do not, at any point, actually say the word promise. When you start a new job and your prospective employer tells you that the job starts at eight,  by telling him or her that you want the job, you are committing to showing up no later than eight o'clock .  Every time you stroll in at 8:03 like nothing is wrong you are breaking that commitment. When you get your driver's license you sign your name to a form stating that you agree to follow all the traffic laws. You are making a commitment not to speed, run red lights, or hit other cars.  Every single time you are on the highway and you decide to go ten miles an hour over the speed limit just because that is what everyone else is doing, you are breaking that commitment.  When you say that you will stop an addictive habit such as drinking, doing drugs or smoking, every time you indulge in the habit you are breaking a commitment.

You might say, so what, nobody is getting hurt when I break my commitments. That simply isn't true though.  In the workplace, when someone is late, or worse yet doesn't show at all, others often end up shouldering the increased workload. In a car, you are much more likely to hurt yourself and others when breaking traffic laws than when you are not. You may be careful and even have quick enough reaction timing to keep control of your vehicle when doing something risky or even stupid, but the people around you may not.  The laws aren't there just to govern you. They are there for the safety of everybody.  And with drinking, drugs and smoking, there is always at least one victim, even if it is just you.  The worst thing of all though, is other people notice when you break commitments, even if it is only subconsciously.  If you do it enough, your word will completely lose all value in the eyes of others. Saying one thing and then doing something different is quite often called lying, especially if you had no intention of keeping the commitment in the first place.

Does the thought of your word having no value bother you? Does it hurt to think you are showing the world they should just ignore you because nothing you say has any meaning?

That would drive me crazy. Come back tomorrow for pt2

If you could, would you go back and make different choices?

When I was in second grade, my mom got her GED. I went with her and just because I had nothing better to do, I took the pretest while she was taking the real thing.  We both did very well and the person giving the test jokingly said I should come back next week and take the real test and get my GED and get an early start on college.

I remember thinking to myself that would be insane.  I was seven, who could have possibly taken me seriously? Many hours were spent pondering this concept. And I could never imagine it, literally.  My main reason for not doing it was peer pressure, or really imagined pressure from my peers.  And I just could not shake the belief and possibly even fear, that due to my age, I would get taken advantage of in one way or another. What person between the ages of 20 and 50 is gonna give a seven year old the time of day, especially if that kid is acing classes that they are struggling with.

I have thought about it a lot over my lifetime. This was like thirty years ago, before the once popular TV show, Doogie Houser.  When that show came out I thought about it even more. Oddly enough, I never have watched a single episode though. It has occurred to me that I could probably have gotten a triple doctorate by the time I was nineteen or twenty. I mean scholarships and grants would not have been a problem. I have seen first hand that if you maintain a minimum of a 4.0 GPA, schools will bend over backwards to keep you.

If I had made that choice, my annual average salary instead of being five digits would likely be six or seven.  I would have easy access to a lot of creature comforts that are far outside my grasp even now.  The bottom line is, things would be different. The monetary and material things that I would have would be great.

But if I had made that choice, I would never have gone to the high school I did. I would never have met my best friend growing up. We would never have spent hundreds of hours with dozens of different roleplaying games like Dungeons and Dragons, Rifts and Vampire the Masquerade. I would never have met the people we gamed with  or dated any of the people that I was close to in my teenage years.  I never would have gone through the truly life altering experiences I had with Lifespring, that occurred as a result of knowing one of the people I gamed with. The connections that I made, that led to where I am today would all have never happened.  I would not be living with the people that I am today.

If I had gone to college at age seven, my story would be completely different than it is. I like my story and I love who I am as a result of the choices that I have made.  I have made mistakes. But I have always done my best to learn from them.  If I never made them in the first place, then I would not have learned anything from them. So while there are things that I wish I had never done, if I had my life to live all over again I would still make the same choices.

Now I ask you, can you say the same? Think about your life and where you are today. Are you happy with it? If not what changes can you make so that you are happy with your life? You can not change the past. But you can make better choices in the future, when faced with choices that are similar to the ones that you regret having made.

Yes. Thank you. I am insane

When I was a kid people were always throwing around terms like craziness or insanity or madness to explain one thing after another that was going on in the world. It got me to thinking. What is insanity? What does it mean to be insane? Not knowing kinda started to bother me, because there was this total negative vibe to anything that was labeled insane.  So, me being me, I did some digging.

At some point, I can't really remember when, but I remember someone telling me, that according to the federal government, if you have had five or more hallucinogenic experiences in your lifetime, then you are insane. Whew,  I dodged a bullet there. I've only done acid twice. And all my other experimentation with drugs was not the hallucinogenic kind. I have attempted to back up this 5 or more trips claim, but haven't been able to find anything specific to support it, but in either case I'm in the clear there.

Then there is the clinical definition of insanity used by a lot of people, which is, doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Well, that's just... crazy. Science teaches us that if you control the variables in a circumstance to the point where you are actually doing the same things over and over, the only thing that can really happen is the same thing over and over.

Well what about in society in general?  What is the opposite of crazy? That would be uh... let's see... oh yeah.. normal.  According to dictionary.reference.com normal means conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. The thing about that is, the standard comes from an amalgamation of what everyone thinks is right. It all gets added up and then divided amongst the total number of voices that there are on a given topic. So normal is the flat middle ground in a given area, with no extreme on either side of the equation. It is the average. Well, hold on a second. I kinda completely hate being average. And... conforming to the standard. That doesn't sound very good to me. I am something of a non-conformist. I have my own ideas and thoughts that often do not match what the average person says or thinks. And I am betting you do too. Take a minute and think about it.

Do you agree with what society says on even half of everything? Do you agree with what society says about what clothing you should wear,  how you should style your hair or whether or not you should drink coffee or tea or listen to loud music, pay your taxes, raise children,  or any one of a billion other things for which there is a social norm? I bet you don't. There are just too many different topics, too many ways in which society wants to pigeonhole you. I do not believe that it is possibly to be average in every single way. I do not believe that there is a single person in this world, that completely agrees with the social norm, in every single area in which society has an opinion. And, if there is a person out there that bland and vanilla, I cannot even conceive of a person that would want to spend any time with them. They would be so dull and predictable. So if you can't be normal what does that leave you with? If you have an opinion of your own, one that differs from society it's well...

Abnormality. Deviancy. Lunacy. Madness

Welcome to insanity. Population, us.

The world is full of retards

Have you ever wondered how some of the people around you ever make it out their front doors in the morning? Does it seem like you are surrounded by  incompetent idiots? The truth of the matter is you are. But don't be too harsh on them. It's not entirely their fault. I mean, it is entirely their fault, but they aren't aware of it, so there isn't much they can do about it.

There ought to be a yard stick that one can use to judge the intelligence of other people. Oh wait, there is. It's called an IQ test. There are actually quite a few of them, with varying degrees of questions, puzzles and mental challenges. There are two general scales used, a 200 point system and a 300 point system. For all intents and purposes they are virtually the same. A 100 on the 200 system corresponds with a 150 on the 300 system. For the purposes of this discussion, all numerical references will be to the 200 scale. On this IQ system average is 100. Any number above 100 is considered above average and numbers below 100 are considered  below average. People with IQ's below 100 are generally considered retarded due to the fact that their ability to learn new data happens at a rate that is slower than that of those with IQ's above 100.  Sometimes people in the 95-100 range are still considered average. But for our purposes 101 is above average and 99 is retarded.

Now when exactly is it that most IQ tests are given? That might be a hard one to judge. IQ tests are given to people at different points in their lives for different reasons. Wait though, what about schools in most countries throughout the world? They give IQ tests to every student to determine the rate at which they can learn new data, to help determine how best to teach them. So everyone takes an IQ test in school. When do the majority of people go to school? That would be between the ages of 4 and 20 depending on circumstance and country. There is one other place that is prevalent enough in our world to include it here. The military. Everyone entering the military undergoes a complete battery of tests with an IQ test being one of them. And when do most people enter the military? That would be between the ages of 18 and 25. So, most IQ tests are done on subjects under the age of 25.

Studies have shown that as we age our IQ naturally decreases with time. This process can be slowed, by intentionally learning new things throughout our life. We can actively engage our minds on a daily basis, to keep our synapses firing and creating new pathways. Those who strive to constantly learn new ways to do things and fill their mind with fresh data can slow this process down. But nothing really stops it. And the average person does not do this.  They just get stuck in the rut of their daily lives and almost literally turn into zombies, as time marches on.  Older people generally are not as smart as when they were younger.

And last but not least, the final piece of the puzzle. What is the average age of a person living on planet Earth? As time goes on and new methods of farming and medical practices keep being discovered, that number continues to rise. In the 1950's there were 2.5 billion people living on planet Earth. There are over 7 billion people living here now.  And in 2011, the average age, for a person, was 32.

So, time for a recap. The average IQ is 100. Most IQ tests are given to people 25 and under. As we age our IQ drops. The average age is 32. More than half the world is above the age of 25.

The world is full of retards.

Lack of belief system pt4

Imagine a single infinitely small dot out in the middle of space. It is just one single possibility, for example, tacos. Tacos either are or  they  are not. So tacos will connect with two other dots. One that says tacos do exist and one that says tacos do not exist. (We will ignore Schrödinger's cat for now)  If tacos exist then a whole stream of other possibilities will connect to the tacos are dot, such as people that like eating tacos, lists of what goes on tacos, pictures of tacos, and descriptions of what tacos may taste like. And each one of these possibilities will be a dot of their own and may or may not link up with a multitude of other dots. Pictures of tacos would link up to the possibility of pictures existing. And the pictures exist dot would link up to one about moving pictures. The more dots there are that link up with the one that says that particular thing is real, the more likely it is to be real.In the example above, in some small way, tacos and movies partially validate each others' existence.

In this example, every thing that might be has two possibilities connected to it. One that says it is and one that says it is not. And then there are a host of things that are connected to one or the other possibility. In that way you can and will build a malleable framework that includes everything you see, hear, say, think, feel and interact with. Over time it will likely become obvious to you which thing is more likely to be true in a given situation. The correct course of action then is to act as if that thing were true but still find ways to test it. Perhaps your logic was flawed. Maybe you did not think of enough possibilities on one side or the other for it to be truly conclusive. Or maybe there was data that you were unaware of that should have made some choices invalid.

And remember you should constantly be looking for evidence. Notice I did not say that you should look for evidence to support your beliefs. Do not jump to conclusions. A single piece of evidence does not fill in a whole puzzle. Each piece of new data either fits with your theory or it does not and when it does not it doesn't mean the piece should be discarded. It is not the data that is flawed and needs rethinking. It is the theory that should change.

Also if you notice above, I said you would be building a malleable structure. Unlike the belief system house, the lack of belief structure can grow infinitely in any direction. It is not limited in any way.  When a whole line of thought or reasoning proves to be unfounded all the dots connected to it can simply just disappear. They are no longer there to crowd up the framework. But they aren't gone forever.  Think of the way a lot of computer programs are made nowadays. The options that you can choose are easy to see and the ones that don't apply are often greyed out. And the choices that you make cause new options to appear or old ones to become greyed out. Only in your framework, since it's in your head,  instead of greying them out you just stop making them visible. And then when new information is entered, if necessary you can call them back at a moment's notice.

There is no foundation, no systems, no walls. Any single piece can be pulled out and replaced with any other piece. The possibilities are literally endless.

Lack of belief system pt3

The only thoughts, beliefs and feelings that you can ever be absolutely sure of are your own. You see and experience them in a way that no other person ever can or will. You have a perfect understanding of these things and these things alone. They are the only REAL things to you. Others will try to express their experiences to the best of their ability but will invariably fail to have you get it, in the same way that they do. It just is not possible, unless they can cause you to have the exact same experience that they do. It is in this way that we are always alone, no matter how close we get to people and no matter how many people we get close to. Our minds rail out against that being true. They do not accept it.

So we communicate with one another and share our experiences together. And although we do our very best to get others to see what we think and feel and believe, words are clunky. They mean different things to different people. Even when two people look up a word in the dictionary and say that they both understand the meaning, they often still are thinking two different things, even if only slightly. And when each word means something slightly different to each person, is it any wonder that whole paragraphs get misconstrued? When trying to send a person to the moon, even a single miscalculation, like say we point the Space Shuttle just a fraction of a percent off of the perfect angle will cause us to miss the moon by thousands of miles. The images and thoughts that come to my mind when I mention the word red are probably not the same images and thoughts that occur to you.

If we are to ever have even a prayer of understanding one another's hopes and dreams we have to communicate. Even though we get it wrong so often, we still have to make the attempt. Words are our primary source of communication.  You might be asking why all this is necessary. Well the main reason is, I want you to realize that I mean something slightly different when I use words that imply absolutes, things like fact and certainty, or if I say that I think or believe a certain thing. Outside of actual experiences that I have had, I do not believe in absolutes. What I mean when I say these things is, based on the research and testing that I have done on this particular thing, up until this point, I find it highly likely for this thing to be true. Now is that an awesome sentence or what? No, seriously it's great, but it's also a huge mouthful to repeat five hundred times a day. Instead, I say, I think this or I feel that way. It is a shorthand that is necessary for useful communication. If I were to constantly be reminding you that I am not sure if a thing is or it isn't because I haven't tested it fully you would probably think I am either too wishy-washy or too verbose to be worth talking to. I do make an effort not to use absolutes as much as others do, just as I make an effort not to be too indecisive seeming. Imperfect as it is, it is the best compromise that I have found. Just remember when I am using absolutes that what I mean is that this thing is very likely to be.

Since the only things that you can ever fully know occur within your own mind and body and so much of the universe occurs outside of them, there has to be a relatively safe and secure method of interfacing with reality, in a way that is not going to come crashing down around you, when you suddenly realize some new and powerful thing. I found a way. And I call it my lack of belief structure. I do not actually believe in anything. I know it sounds ridiculous. But it is true, I do not. I just think some things are more likely to be true than others.

Lack of belief system pt2

The fact of the matter is, other adults are just trying to make it in this world just like you are. They do not know everything and quite often things that they put forth as true, really are not, not because they are lying, simply because they are wrong. So even if you are not assuming that you know exactly what they are talking about, just assuming that they are correct is often going to get you in just as much trouble in the long run.

Assumption is acceptance of a thing without really testing or understanding it. And it leads to massive failure in so many ways. Assume nothing. Test everything.

So, just about everybody out there has a belief system, also commonly called a belief structure. And people build them in much the same way as you would build a house. They start out with their core beliefs, which correlate to where a foundation on a house would be and then they work on adding some other important beliefs to be things like the plumbing, electrical and cooling/heating systems for the house.   Then they fill in small details with lesser beliefs, that correlate to things like walls, windows, doors and furniture.  And on the surface it seems to work. But in reality it doesn't.

The problem with a belief structure built in this fashion is ... well there's more than one really. For starters, there is no room for new ideas. And this structure is rigid and unchangeable. New beliefs have to sit outside and wait till someone inside decides to do some expanding or remodeling. It is also a finite size and specific shape, limiting the amount of new ideas that can ever make their way in. New beliefs have to conform to these spatial limitations or never become part of the structure. In fact, it is quite a common occurrence for a person to completely deny a new belief, something which seems to quite obviously be true to those around them, simply because it does not fit in with what they already believe or what they want to believe.

And then there is the kicker, the one final problem that makes this whole concept a terrible idea. What happens when the foundation to your house simply evaporates? When one of your core beliefs changes, the whole house of cards falls down around your ears. This is the thing that causes much of the heartache and insanity within the world today. People often wrap up their sense of self, their identity, within the bonds of their core beliefs. And if those things change, either their sense of self is destroyed or they have a psychotic break with reality. They will deny something that they know to be true, creating an odd double standard that is impossible to live in harmony with.

How can this tragedy be avoided? Create a lack of belief system! A wha...? No worries I will explain. Bear with me though. It might get a little bumpy.

Lack of belief system pt1

If you have been following along for some time now, you probably think I am either pretty smart, enlightened or crazy. Regardless of which one you believe, you are probably correct. And here today, I offer up even more proof to support whichever one you believe.

One of the biggest problems we face in relationships with one another is miscommunication . A person will say something and we will think that we know what it is that they mean. But, most of the time, we actually do not understand what it is that another person says. We just think we do. We take what they say and translate it into something that makes sense within our own belief system. We assume that that thing, that makes sense within our own belief system, is what they meant and we move on. So, we will step away from that conversation and make decisions and choices based on the new information that person gave us. We will build other things we believe on top of that information and make even more choices and decisions. And then we come back into contact with that person and tell them about the things that we have learned based on those choices and decisions and ...hey! Why is that person looking at us like we just grew three new heads? Here is where we realize there is a breakdown. They have no idea what we are talking about.

Where is the breakdown though? What causes the miscommunication? Person A gave us information. We just took in that information and started doing things with it right? So if there is any flaw it has to be with the information itself, making it the fault of person A right? Not exactly.  Person A did provide us with information, that much is true. And we did start using that information to begin making choices and decisions with. But not right away. First, we filtered that information through our belief system, so that it made sense to us. And that is where the problem comes in. When we did that, we changed what they meant into our understanding of what they meant. Quite frequently, this leads to being wrong while still thinking you are right.

So the two sins here are assuming that you know what someone else means and filtering things through your belief system. But what can you do about it? You have to make assumptions, right? And you have to have a belief system don't you? To both of those questions, I say,  no, not really. Uh... what? How is that possible? Well to answer that you really need to understand what both an assumption and a belief system are.

Let's take the assumption first. When you make an assumption you are taking something for granted. You are thinking and acting as if a thing is true, usually without any supporting evidence. You are just accepting that it is true.This is fine if the source of the information is clear and simple or an absolute authority on the subject in question. For example as children we are supposed to accept without question the words of our elders. Another example would be in martial arts a brand new student is supposed to do what they are told without question and to follow in the footsteps of all those who came before. However, in both martial arts and coming of age, there is a time where you are no longer supposed to blindly accept what you are taught. As a black belt you are supposed to question everything. Why does it work this way? Why don't we do it this way instead? What makes this way better than any other way? As an adult the same thing is supposed to happen. Instead you are stuck in this rut, of just accepting whatever new piece of data comes along without question. A decade or two of instruction has ingrained this way of being in you. But you need to break out of it. You should question everything, not in a hostile or aggressive way, but in a way that enables you to understand a thing rather than just accepting it as true.

You ARE God pt4

I have suggested that you become a god. But what I really mean is for you to step up and accept that you are already and have always been a god. You are already THE Author of your life. You, through a combination of action and inaction cause every event in your life to happen to you. You decide whether you live or not day in or day out. You decide whether or not you pay your bills with the money you have. You decide what level of negativity you are willing to put up with from the people around you both in your work and your home life. You decide whether or not to be in an abusive relationship. You decide whether or not you are a powerhouse of love and positivity or a force of hate and destruction.

Step up and be proud of the power that you have to create and control your destiny. Admit to yourself that you are responsible for everything that has ever or will ever happen to you. Take some time and accept that all the bad as well as the good is your doing. It is much harder to accept that you could have avoided or changed the bad, that you could have done something to make it different. But don't beat yourself up about it.That is extremely unhealthy and serves no useful purpose. Admit that you could have done something and fully commit and resolve to make better choices in the future.

Then once you have done this commit to awakening others around you to the same basic facts. We are, all of us, each, individually gods. We each hold supreme power over our own lives and deaths. And by banding together one by one we can change our households at the very least. Then over time household by household we can change our cities and states. And eventually we can even change the whole world. That is my vision, my goal. I plan to change the world. I do not believe that it will be complete within my lifetime but I still see it as a worthy goal. Future generations will have a better world to live in because of my efforts and that thought alone makes me smile every time I think about it.

I do live in a household where we strive to be masters of our own destinies, where we are not slaves to the wants and desires of others, where we make choices based on positive goals and not based out of fear. It is with an open mind and a loving heart that we forge ahead and meet life's challenges head on. And I have to tell you, other people can feel it, they can sense the energy that we have. They don't know what it is but they like it and want to be around us but often do not really understand why.

It is an ancient pagan belief that everything in the universe is part of one being. All forms of matter are just parts of that being. Thus everything in the universe is god. In holding with that theory, I say this, in closing. We are all gods each with the power to change the world around us. Since we have the power to change things but haven't yet, we are directly responsible for the state that the world is in. That thought bothers me greatly, even though I believe it to be absolutely true. So I ask that you become a source of love and light,  own up to your divinity and join me, and assist me in changing the world into a place that we will be proud of it becoming.

You ARE God pt3

Now let's add a new twist to the abusive relationship story. The woman may not mind so much that she is not being treated right. But what happens when her child, whom she loves more than anything else in this world, becomes the target of her significant other's violence? Suddenly a switch flips in her brain and she goes from being a meek subservient mouse like little woman to an awesomely terrifying, aggressive, rage filled wolverine, willing to kill and or die to protect her young. One way or another, that relationship is over, that very minute.

But what actually happened? She decided that what she was getting out of the relationship was worth the abuse continuing, all the way up until the moment where her child was in imminent danger. At that instant it was no longer worth it to her. And in that instant she took her power back and chose a new destiny. And truth be told she will probably end up in the same kind of relationship again, because people tend to follow the same patterns for most of their life. And as long as the next abusive mate does not threaten her child they will probably not get to meet the wolverine within her.

What if, though, she decides not to let other people abuse her anymore? What if she decides to take back her personal power in all aspects of her life and to control her destiny through every choice she makes and to stop letting life and others in her life make choices for her?  It sounds crazy right? Control your own destiny? How can anyone possibly do that? Well let's take a look.

Some things are easier to control than others. However, I say that each specific facet of your life can be controlled. Though you will probably decide it is not worth the effort in some cases. And taking control of some aspects makes it difficult to control others.

Suppose you decide that you do not ever want to get hit by a bus. How can you control that? Simple. Move to the fourth floor of an office or apartment building and never leave it for any reason. This will drop your chances from one in thousands to one in probably billions or trillions. But is it feasible to do? Not really, not if you intend to be a normal productive member of society. But it IS possible. Or if you don't want to get a virus on your computer, don't ever connect to a network,don't install any new software, never use external drives and never let anyone else use your computer. Again possible but not feasible.

Also, these things are not exactly what I mean when I say control your destiny. They are a part of it but not the meat of it. I mean control how other people treat you by making them fully aware of what is and is not an acceptable way of treating you. When and if they step over the line, politely but firmly put them back on the other side of it. And if they continually step over the line, warn them first and then if they still persist in mistreating you, cut them off from your life, no matter who they are.

Each and every single person on this planet is a beautiful, amazingly powerful, awesome creature that is worthy of a great and deep respect. But, it is no one's job but your own to stand up and demand that respect. You do not have to be a jerk about it, but if you want people to take you seriously you really do have to be firm about it. It needs to be clear and in no uncertain terms. I can say without an ounce of arrogance or conceit that I am awesome and powerful and that being able to spend a moment in my presence is a gift that I do not share with everyone. If you want to continue to be able to enjoy that gift, you will treat me with proper respect. If you do not, we will part ways. It need not be in anger, no mud slinging has to occur, just parting. And I firmly believe that each and every person on the planet should have this attitude. We are all worth it.