Being an adult

The other night we had some friends over.  And the actions of one led to the damaging of property belonging to the other. The people involved were two different guests who are acquaintances and while not the best of friends, they do generally get along.  It was completely an accident but damage still occurred.

We, the people that own the house, are going to pay for the repairs incurred. Why? Shouldn't the person that took the action that caused the damage be responsible for paying the cost? Yes he should. But ultimately we are responsible for everything that happens under our roof. If we had not invited person A to our home, he would not have been here to damage person B's property. Likewise if person B had not been here, their property would not have been here to damage. We may not have physically done the damage, but we are responsible for setting up the circumstances by which the damage occurred.

I am however somewhat bothered that person A did not at least offer to pay for the damages. He directly took an action that caused the damage and then said he didn't really feel bad about it because he just knocked over an item that should not have been where it was. He is correct that it should not have been there.  But, I just don't get the mind set. If I go to a house belonging to someone else and I knock over or break something, I feel bad about it and immediately offer to make reparations.  It is just common courtesy. Then again, I guess that is just a logical fallacy, that courtesy is at all common.
Part of being a mature responsible adult is owning up to your mistakes and making reparations for any damage caused. If you are not going to take responsibility for what guests do when they are at your home, you should not invite guests into it. And if you are not willing to take responsibility for your actions when you are a guest, you should not be a guest.

We need to have a conversation about this with person A. This is not the first time something like this has happened with this specific person.  In the past he has accidentally damaged something belonging to us and we shrugged it off. This is the first time that he has damaged property belonging to another guest. And the repair may be hundreds of dollars. We can and often will make the choice to shrug off damage done to us. We can not and will not shrug off damage done to the property or self of someone under our care.

He needs to know that we are going to pay for the damage done to our other friend's property because we are fully responsible for anything that happens inside our home. And then he needs to let us know what he intends to do about the fact that he damaged property that was, at least temporarily, under our care. Whether he wants it to be true or not he is fully responsible for every action he takes. If he refuses to accept that responsibility, then perhaps the nature of our relationship with him will need to change. I really do not want to see that happen, but if it must it must.