Be the source

There is a quote that many people attribute to Gandhi.  It goes like this. "Be the change you want to see in the world". There is much disagreement about whether or not he ever spoke those exact words. Does that really matter though? It is obvious from the way he lived his life that this was his philosophy.

Here was a man who looked around himself, at the state of the world, and more directly at the state of affairs in his own country. What he saw appalled him. He thought that the way things were sucked. And he was right. Things were terrible. He took a stand and changed them.

In your own life, what do you do when you look around you and you find that you do not like what you see? If you are like many people, you close your eyes and simply stop looking. Or if you are like most people, maybe you complain about it to your friends, family and co-workers. You see all the things around you that you do not like, but you tell yourself that there is nothing you can do. You say that it is always going to be this way or worse.

The philosophy of being the source of the change you want to see in the world is very powerful, because the odds are that other people are just as unhappy and just as fed up with the way things are as you are. There are always others who are waiting to rally behind a cause that will improve their lives. Yet, the world is a mess because people generally do not do anything to make it better. Each person is always waiting for someone else to take charge and be the leader. Statistically speaking, eventually someone will take a stand for change. But why suffer until then? Why wait to rally behind someone else that decides they have been hurt and frustrated for long enough?

Be like Gandhi. Take stock of your situation and decide what you are okay with and what you are not. Ask yourself some questions. Decide what sacrifices you are willing to make to have the things that you want. Look inside of yourself and find out what needs to change. Find out who you need to be in order to make the changes in your world that are necessary for you to be satisfied with the outcome. Surround yourself with people that want the same things that you do. Then create a set of actionable steps that you can do to get what you want.  After that, follow the plan until you accomplish your goals or goals.

It doesn't matter what your goal is. It could be as simple as having a garden in your yard, getting more money or improving situations where you work or as complicated as getting into a serious relationship and starting a family. You can even have a goal that has a huge impact on your home country or the whole world, such as abolishing all bans on gay marriage or creating a single universal currency. If you truly believe that it should happen then you should be the one to make it happen.

The only way you can ensure that the changes that you want in life occur is to be the source of those changes. What are you waiting for? Make the world a better place.

Responsibility. What is it?pt2

So the last post was an example of how differently two people can react to the same circumstances.

The victim has no control. He has no idea what is out there or what is coming at him next. all he can do is react. So that's all he does and usually he reacts badly. He knows and really does believe that the world is out to get him. But this really is a ridiculous concept. Imagine the level of conceit that it takes, the massive belief in your own self importance that one must have, in order to believe that everyone else cares enough about you and what you think for them to spend that much time and energy trying to ruin your life. In all honesty strangers generally just don't care enough to even notice you exist much less to put forth any amount of concerted effort to bring you up or down. It just does not happen.

The responsible person though knows that life happens according to a formula. Everything that he says does thinks or doesn't say do or think sets something into motion. All of the things that happen are as a result of these actions or inactions. The responsible person knows that rain doesn't happen to him. Rain just happens. The police officer didn't wake up this morning and decide he was writing the responsible guy a ticket. The police officer didn't even know this guy existed until he started speeding. The responsible guy knows that he is the source of the ticket. He has no reason to blame the officer. The officer is just doing his job. If you don't speed, then you don't get a ticket for speeding. If you don't speed you don't have to sit by the side of the road and wait for the officer to write you a ticket for the speeding that you did.

Now for another example. Let's say that on your way to work today you get into a car accident. While you may not have generated the crash itself, you are responsible for being one of the people involved in the accident. If you had stayed home today, you would not have gotten into a car accident. Okay so what if you had stayed home?  Yay! No accident for you. But, at work, a coworker who has less knowledge than you in  whatever your particular area of expertise is, had to make a judgment call because you were not there. And their judgment call ended up costing the company money instead of making it money. You are just as responsible for the money lost as you would have been for the accident.  You are directly responsible for the actions that you take and the actions that get taken in your absence.

Victims say"well i can't control how long it takes me to get to work in the morning"  The responsible person knows that is just not true. But it does require effort. You can control whether or not you get to work on time, you just need to do your homework first. You can drive to and from the location that you work multiple times to get a good feel for how long of a drive it is. You can do research to determine on average how much delay there will be under various traffic and weather patterns and determine how early to leave based on this information.

The victim is usually whiny, complaining, frustrated and out of control. The responsible person is usually calm, relaxed,happy and in control of their circumstances. Which would you rather be?

Responsibility is about owning up to the fact that you are the author of, the source of and the creator of everything in your life. Even the stuff you do not like. You either create, promote or allow everything that happens you. The simple fact of the matter is that every choice leads to a consequence. And while you may not realize right away which choices lead to which consequences, it is true that if you made a different choice a different consequence would occur.

You can be a victim and let things happen to you. OR you can be responsible and make things happen. It's your choice.