When I was a kid, (no really, it did happen) my step-dad was always trying to get me to be like a normal person. It was his idea that I should follow traditional habits and patterns. Have I mentioned that he and I never really got along? He was constantly punishing me for failing to fit within his intended mold.
It has never been my way to walk in the footsteps of others. I would rather blaze my own trail for like minded individuals to follow if they wish or simply to show others that they can find their own way like I did.
Normal people work 9-5 jobs he would say. In my mind I would reply, but normal people are unhappy. He would also say normal people go to college and get a degree so that they can make more money. To that my internal voice would say, normal people are dead broke living paycheck to paycheck.
We get the idea of being abnormal as bad from peer pressure. Parents, teachers, neighbors, friends, siblings, everyone makes us feel like the only way we are good enough to be part of anything is if we are normal.
Literally what is normal is simply the average of all people together, once the super highs and super lows are discarded. If society was filled to the brim with wealthy, sane people living, happy productive lives, then being normal would be totally awesome.
95% of the population in America lives just a little above the poverty level. 2/3 of the population are unhappy, including many illnesses and diseases brought on by stress. The average person does not have enough free time and spends much of the time that they do have worried over the things they either do not have the time for or can not do due to financial stresses. Still want to be normal?
What is normal is what is average. So, if you are normal, you are plain jane and vanilla. You stand out in no way at all. Mediocrity is the epitome of normal. Being normal is taking the path of least resistance and at the end of that road is the least amount of rewards.
Who is not normal? Anyone earning in the top five percent. Movie stars and successful musicians. Best-selling authors. Professional athletes. People that earn awards and recognition. Anyone at all who is in any way rich or famous.
If you find that you are a normal person, you have bought into the lie that being normal is the way to acceptance. The people that find the greatest acceptance within our society are those aforementioned celebrities. It is quite often in point of fact that the things that make us not like other people are the things that make us great.
Choosing to be normal is like choosing the death sentence to any future creativity and accomplishments you may have otherwise had. You can be normal if you want to. But I'm gonna look for a better way
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Monday, October 28, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Same work. Two perspectives
Let's have a little make believe session. There are two scenarios that I would like you to imagine.
First, you go in to work and your boss has had all of the furniture removed from the office. He says if you would like to remain employed, you are going to be spending the next few days painting the walls, setting up bookshelves and creating new furniture.
In this second completely unrelated scenario you and your spouse are going to be having a baby soon. You decide that you will be painting the walls, setting up bookshelves and creating new furniture for the baby's room.
Which one of these two sets of tasks do you think you are more likely to give your very best focus and attention? Which one will you truly enjoy doing? Which one will give you the most satisfaction once complete?
Unless you are really abnormal the answer to all of the above questions is the second scenario. But why? The same work is being done in both circumstances. The same things are required of you.
One might say the first scenario is displeasing because it is a job you are expected to do or because you have no choice. The truth is you do have a choice, but since you decide that you want to keep your job you are being "forced" into the situation. When this happens resentment often sets in.
The other is more acceptable because it is your idea and not something someone else is telling you to do. But the real answer is that the second scenario is a labor of love. It is something that you truly want to do for this new person that is coming into your life soon.
Because of this, you will take great care to make every detail as perfect as it can possibly be. You will put every ounce of care and craftsmanship into the work that you are capable of doing. And you will most likely enjoy every minute spent on these tasks, possibly singing while you work or daydreaming about the time that you and your family will spend in the room when it is done.
Conversely, the work that you do for your boss will be adequate to get the job done and probably enough to keep your position, but the work will not make you happy and neither will the results.
I'd like to go back to the "but why?" question above. Every single circumstance in your life can be a labor of love. There is no reason to ever have the typical viewpoint expressed in the "work" scenario. The only good reason to ever do anything in life is because you want the result of that thing either for yourself or for someone else that you love.
Do not view the hours spent working for your boss as slaving away to make someone else rich. Look at it as what is required in order to support yourself and your family. And then rejoice that you are able to spend that time five days a week making it possible.
The work is the same. It is the point of view that is different. Who decides your point of view? You do. Happy people are more productive people as well as better problem solvers. So, if you are going to spend the same 40 hours working either way, why not enjoy it?
First, you go in to work and your boss has had all of the furniture removed from the office. He says if you would like to remain employed, you are going to be spending the next few days painting the walls, setting up bookshelves and creating new furniture.
In this second completely unrelated scenario you and your spouse are going to be having a baby soon. You decide that you will be painting the walls, setting up bookshelves and creating new furniture for the baby's room.
Which one of these two sets of tasks do you think you are more likely to give your very best focus and attention? Which one will you truly enjoy doing? Which one will give you the most satisfaction once complete?
Unless you are really abnormal the answer to all of the above questions is the second scenario. But why? The same work is being done in both circumstances. The same things are required of you.
One might say the first scenario is displeasing because it is a job you are expected to do or because you have no choice. The truth is you do have a choice, but since you decide that you want to keep your job you are being "forced" into the situation. When this happens resentment often sets in.
The other is more acceptable because it is your idea and not something someone else is telling you to do. But the real answer is that the second scenario is a labor of love. It is something that you truly want to do for this new person that is coming into your life soon.
Because of this, you will take great care to make every detail as perfect as it can possibly be. You will put every ounce of care and craftsmanship into the work that you are capable of doing. And you will most likely enjoy every minute spent on these tasks, possibly singing while you work or daydreaming about the time that you and your family will spend in the room when it is done.
Conversely, the work that you do for your boss will be adequate to get the job done and probably enough to keep your position, but the work will not make you happy and neither will the results.
I'd like to go back to the "but why?" question above. Every single circumstance in your life can be a labor of love. There is no reason to ever have the typical viewpoint expressed in the "work" scenario. The only good reason to ever do anything in life is because you want the result of that thing either for yourself or for someone else that you love.
Do not view the hours spent working for your boss as slaving away to make someone else rich. Look at it as what is required in order to support yourself and your family. And then rejoice that you are able to spend that time five days a week making it possible.
The work is the same. It is the point of view that is different. Who decides your point of view? You do. Happy people are more productive people as well as better problem solvers. So, if you are going to spend the same 40 hours working either way, why not enjoy it?
Friday, July 5, 2013
Life in the right order
Some time ago, I took a workshop that focused on self empowerment.
One of the talking points was about the general mindset and perspective
of the average person. I discovered that most people have the belief
that you need to do a set of things, so that you can have a set of
things so that you can be happy.
It is kind of what the American dream is all about right? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all that? Work hard, to get the things that you want and then you can relax and be happy with the results. There is a problem with this model though. What happens if you work as hard as you can and through no fault of your own, you are never able to have the things that you want? Every time you seem about to get a leg up, something happens and you just barely manage to break even. Then you are doomed to never obtain happiness. Do have be does not work.
In fact it is exactly backwards. If you start being the person you want to be, you will automatically begin to do the things that you need to get what it is that you want to have. For any personal or business venture in your life you need to ask yourself, who you need to be in order to be able to do the things that are necessary to get what you want to have.
So first, what do you want to have? Let's say the answer is a successful business. Who do you need to be? An open-minded entrepreneur . What do you need to do? Work hard and make lots of sales. Be an open-minded entrepreneur that works hard and makes lots of sales and you will have a successful business. What if you want a successful marriage? Who do you get to be? A loyal committed faithful spouse. What do you need to do? treat your mate with love, kindness and consideration. Be a loyal committed faithful spouse that treats their mate with love kindness and consideration and you will very likely have a successful marriage.
Why does it work this way? Because in no uncertain terms the do, have, be mindset is completely materialistic. It values objects above all else and defines the lack of material things as failure. It is also a victim mindset. In every instance where you do not have the things that you want you can complain and say if only this thing weren't in the way I could be happy.
The be do have mindset is the opposite end of the spectrum from that. It is about as responsible as one can get. When you look at what you want to have you are directly taking personal responsibility for your results. You are asking who do i have to be and what do I have to do, to get what it is that I want to have. Then once you have answered those questions you have a road map to getting what you want and nobody to blame but yourself for not having what you want.
It is kind of what the American dream is all about right? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all that? Work hard, to get the things that you want and then you can relax and be happy with the results. There is a problem with this model though. What happens if you work as hard as you can and through no fault of your own, you are never able to have the things that you want? Every time you seem about to get a leg up, something happens and you just barely manage to break even. Then you are doomed to never obtain happiness. Do have be does not work.
In fact it is exactly backwards. If you start being the person you want to be, you will automatically begin to do the things that you need to get what it is that you want to have. For any personal or business venture in your life you need to ask yourself, who you need to be in order to be able to do the things that are necessary to get what you want to have.
So first, what do you want to have? Let's say the answer is a successful business. Who do you need to be? An open-minded entrepreneur . What do you need to do? Work hard and make lots of sales. Be an open-minded entrepreneur that works hard and makes lots of sales and you will have a successful business. What if you want a successful marriage? Who do you get to be? A loyal committed faithful spouse. What do you need to do? treat your mate with love, kindness and consideration. Be a loyal committed faithful spouse that treats their mate with love kindness and consideration and you will very likely have a successful marriage.
Why does it work this way? Because in no uncertain terms the do, have, be mindset is completely materialistic. It values objects above all else and defines the lack of material things as failure. It is also a victim mindset. In every instance where you do not have the things that you want you can complain and say if only this thing weren't in the way I could be happy.
The be do have mindset is the opposite end of the spectrum from that. It is about as responsible as one can get. When you look at what you want to have you are directly taking personal responsibility for your results. You are asking who do i have to be and what do I have to do, to get what it is that I want to have. Then once you have answered those questions you have a road map to getting what you want and nobody to blame but yourself for not having what you want.
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