Current opportunity

Have you ever noticed that opportunity seems to present itself more often when you don't really seem to need it? If you already have a job, job offers may come pouring in. Or if you are married or in a serious relationship other people seem more interested in being in relationships with you.

Yet if you are single, sometimes it seems like no matter how much energy you put in, you just do not seem to get anywhere. And when you are unemployed everyone seems to look the other way when they see you coming.  These examples are not absolutes of course, or no one who is unemployed would ever get a new job and no one who is single would ever start a new relationship. But it does seem easier if you already have a job or a relationship to find a new one.

Why is this? Well let's take a look. A person who has a job is obviously employable. They must have certain desirable traits and qualifications that someone at least wants or they would not have gotten the job. The same is true of someone already in a relationship.

There is a kind of energy put off by someone in a relationship or in a job that a single or unemployed person does not have. There is an aura of confidence that others find attractive. You have credibility. People believe in you and are automatically drawn in.

So let's say you have a job and are in a relationship. What then? Take advantage of that aura of attraction and credibility to get more out of life. I am not saying you need to start a new job or cheat on your significant other. But you can use that energy to help you create new platonic relationships or strengthen old ones. And you can also find ways to incorporate the skills you already use in your daily work to come up with some business ideas that you can do alongside your current job.

Most people are waiting for life to bring them something new in order to make improvements to their life.But life isn't going to just bring you everything you desire. To get what you want out of life you are going to need to take certain steps to make it happen.  And a good first step for that would be for you to look everyday for new opportunities presented by the things you already have.

What do you do for a living? What skills have you developed as a result? How could those skills be applied in new and different ways to your benefit? What things have you learned from the relationships you have had in your life? How big is the network of people that you know through the people you associate with on a regular basis,  your family and friends or those of your significant other? What new skills and opportunities might come from that network?

The weed that can destroy your dreams

Persistence, hard work, dedication, discipline. These things are all part of what is necessary to become successful in meeting many of your long term goals. They could probably in fact be called the pillars upon which the possibilities of your success rest.

But one simple thing can knock all of these pillars down and destroy your chances of ever achieving your goals. I like to call it procrastination's evil twin. What is this heinous thing with the power to ruin your dreams?

Making exceptions that deviate from the plan once you have committed to a specific goal or course of action. What do I mean by this?

If you have ever gone on a diet for health or weight reasons you should have some idea of where I am going with this. For the first few days your willpower is good and you stick to the plan. But then you start thinking you can cheat just a little bit, after all nobody but you will know and it will just be the one time right? So you eat that candy bar or those extra carbs or whatever it is that you know you are not supposed to.

The thing is, we are creatures of habit. Whatever it is that we have done in the past we tend to rationalize and explain away as okay. Then you decide, if it was okay to cheat on your diet that one time, maybe it would be okay to do maybe two or three times a week. And if that is okay, then you decide to cheat on your diet once a day every day. It's okay though. It is only a little bit. It doesn't count. Soon enough you are back to your original eating habits. The diet disappears entirely.

Or maybe you've lost your job due to issues with tardiness. So you go get another job, and you commit to yourself that you will never be late. And for the first couple of weeks you keep that commitment. You are bound and determined not to lose your job for that reason again.

But then there's that one day that you don't feel so well and you crawl out of bed twenty minutes later than usual. You do what you can to make up the time on your way to work, but you still stroll in a few minutes late. Later on when you think about it, you decide, well, it wasn't the plan but it was okay. You weren't feeling well. You are better now though, so it's not an issue.

Later on you are late a couple of times due to bad driving conditions caused by rainy weather on your way to work. But, that's not your fault is it? (actually it is) . And gradually as time goes on, you make more and more excuses about why it's okay to be late and how it is not a habit. Soon you are in jeopardy of losing this job as well.

How do you prevent this from happening to you?

As far as diet goes, it is insane to expect yourself to keep to a specific routine everyday for the rest of your life. You should plan that into the commitment before you make it. Perhaps, you could include in the plan a free day or two a week where you eat whatever you desire. Then when you feel like you want to cheat, you can reason yourself out of doing so by just agreeing to wait a couple of days until you are free to have what you want. The idea that you do not need to stick strictly to your diet plan and can still be successful is true with nearly every diet. The problem comes with making too many exceptions. And once you make one you will make others. If you include exceptions as part of the rule, you can avoid breaking the rules. Also from a psychological standpoint, knowing that there are set times where you are allowed to deviate from your "plan" often makes the need to do so less strong.

As far as not being late to work, that one is much simpler. Find out what time you need to be to work, how long it typically takes to get there during whatever traffic patterns typically occur when you should be on your way there. Then leave your house one hour earlier than you think you need to in order to be on time. Do this everyday that you work without fail. If traffic is occasionally bad enough to still make you late, you will still likely be to work much earlier than others you work with that do not have this habit.

In general, think through your commitments clearly before making them. Realize where you are likely to want to make exceptions. If possible make them part of the plan. But then once you make the commitment, do not allow yourself to make exceptions, ever, unless it will save a life.