Hindsight is 20/20

Do you think about the choices that you make and the things that you do? Of course you do, we all do. We want to make the best possible choices that we can. So, we review the facts and weigh our options before making any big decisions. But somehow we still often end up with different results than what we were shooting for. Nobody gets it all right the first time.

Why is that? Sometimes there are options that we don't see when we are putting all of the data together. Or other times people don't act the way we had expected them to. Simply put, we can't possibly know what the best possible option is without knowing every single little detail that could possibly come to play in a given scenario. And since there are so many different variables in every circumstance, that is practically impossible.

Once the moment we are preparing for has passed however, everything is set in stone. It has already happened. Then the choice that we should have made becomes ultra clear. That is the reason for the saying hindsight is 20/20. We can see with perfect clarity of vision exactly what we should have done.

You may say, but what good is that? The moment has passed. And that certainly is true. But we can take the knowledge of that circumstance with us into the future. We can learn from our mistakes. We may not have known what to do in that particular situation, but the results will show what are likely to be the better choices in similar situations in the future.

In the beginning, when we are young, in each individual scenario of our lives, we have no experience. So we just make broad uneducated guesses about what we should do. And in all probability we will fail just as often, if not more often than we succeed.

But over time, using hindsight as a tool, we can and should begin to succeed more and more as we learn to more tightly focus our options. We begin to know with certainty, due to experience, which options are just not going to work and which ones are more likely to.

Each of us does this instinctively, due to an innate desire to fail as little as possible. And some of us are better at it than others. But like any other skill we have, it can be sharpened by repeated intentional use.

My suggestion, challenge, and request of you, is to do more than just instinctively use this tool. I ask that you do it on purpose, daily. Set aside some time. It doesn't really matter when. It can be when you first wake up, during your lunch hour or just before you go to bed. Whenever it is easier for you to take a few minutes, maybe ten at most, and reflect on all the things that have happened in the past twenty four hours.

Think of all the circumstances that you have been in, all the choices that you have made, all the people you have interacted with. Think of the way every event you can think of turned out. Be honest with yourself about your triumphs and your failures. Look at every situation and congratulate yourself on the things that worked. Then ask yourself what things you could have done or said differently in the places and times that you failed.

Make new decisions about how you will handle things in the future based on what you learn from the things that have happened in the last day. Do this every day for two weeks and I guarantee you will see positive results. Make this way of being a habit, a permanent part of your life, and your life will  transform for the better. I guarantee it.

Commitment pt1

I made a commitment to myself to write something in this blog everyday. Some days the muse is with me and I have no trouble at all coming up with a topic to write about and am filled with things to say. Often this is to the point where I end up making several posts at once to keep you from being ambushed by a veritable wall of text. And other days I simply sit here and stare at this screen with no idea what to do or say. I have since renegotiated that commitment to I will write an average of one post per day. And on the days that I am "ahead", if I decide not to write anything, then I am okay with that.

But what is a commitment? Simply put, it is a promise that something will or will not occur.  The act of saying that you will make sure something happens is a commitment. It is a promise, even if you do not, at any point, actually say the word promise. When you start a new job and your prospective employer tells you that the job starts at eight,  by telling him or her that you want the job, you are committing to showing up no later than eight o'clock .  Every time you stroll in at 8:03 like nothing is wrong you are breaking that commitment. When you get your driver's license you sign your name to a form stating that you agree to follow all the traffic laws. You are making a commitment not to speed, run red lights, or hit other cars.  Every single time you are on the highway and you decide to go ten miles an hour over the speed limit just because that is what everyone else is doing, you are breaking that commitment.  When you say that you will stop an addictive habit such as drinking, doing drugs or smoking, every time you indulge in the habit you are breaking a commitment.

You might say, so what, nobody is getting hurt when I break my commitments. That simply isn't true though.  In the workplace, when someone is late, or worse yet doesn't show at all, others often end up shouldering the increased workload. In a car, you are much more likely to hurt yourself and others when breaking traffic laws than when you are not. You may be careful and even have quick enough reaction timing to keep control of your vehicle when doing something risky or even stupid, but the people around you may not.  The laws aren't there just to govern you. They are there for the safety of everybody.  And with drinking, drugs and smoking, there is always at least one victim, even if it is just you.  The worst thing of all though, is other people notice when you break commitments, even if it is only subconsciously.  If you do it enough, your word will completely lose all value in the eyes of others. Saying one thing and then doing something different is quite often called lying, especially if you had no intention of keeping the commitment in the first place.

Does the thought of your word having no value bother you? Does it hurt to think you are showing the world they should just ignore you because nothing you say has any meaning?

That would drive me crazy. Come back tomorrow for pt2