My son's third birthday (or 3th as the misprint on the cake said) was
this past Wednesday. Today we went out and celebrated his birthday by
taking him bowling for the first time.
He has a little plastic
bowling ball and pin set at home. So he was already familiar with the
basic mechanics. And I think he has seen a bowling alley before on Handy
Manny or one of the other kid shows he watches. I figured it would be a
cute thing that he would get a kick out of. Though I have to admit, I
was a little worried that he might not be big enough to roll the ball
hard enough to actually knock over any pins when the ball finally
finished its long slow crawl down to the end of the lane.
Have
you ever had a moment that was just so awesome and so super-charged
with positive emotion that you wanted to crystallize it, to somehow
freeze that moment in time, so that you could carry it around with you
all the time? Well I got nearly an hour of that today.
It
is generally accepted by those that know me well that I am an
accomplished wordsmith. But in this case, I must admit, I find myself
without a way to adequately express what I observed happening with him. I
was totally unprepared for the level of enthusiasm that he showed for
pretty much the whole hour that we were bowling. He didn't really
understand a lot of the finer points like whose turn was when or which
ball he was supposed to use. And he really didn't care.
By
the metrics used by any serious bowler he did terrible. We all did. But
every time he went up and took his turn to roll the ball down the lane,
it was like every good thing in the world imaginable was happening all
at once. If he knocked down even one pin he was jumping up and down,
clapping, shouting hooray and giving high fives. He was even celebrating when he missed completely.
The
expressions on his face and the waves of positive energy literally
pouring off of him were simply mind blowing. I truly wish I could have
bottled the experience to savor and sample at various times in the
future. Alas, the memory will have to do.
Taking him bowling
was completely a flippant decision on my part. I am tremendously glad
that we ended up doing it and was a bit sad when it was time to go. We
will definitely be bowling more in the future.
Just
think. Bowling is a simple maybe even boring thing to most people. But,
through the eyes of my son and in fact anyone for anyone who has never
done it before and is truly open to new experiences, it is a wild new
adventure where anything can happen.
Yes, I am aware that
eventually the "new" will wear off, but I can't wait to find something
else new that he flips out over in a similar way. I love being a dad.
Showing posts with label decision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decision. Show all posts
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Lack of belief system pt1
If you have been following along for some time now, you probably
think I am either pretty smart, enlightened or crazy. Regardless of
which one you believe, you are probably correct. And here today, I offer
up even more proof to support whichever one you believe.
One of the biggest problems we face in relationships with one another is miscommunication . A person will say something and we will think that we know what it is that they mean. But, most of the time, we actually do not understand what it is that another person says. We just think we do. We take what they say and translate it into something that makes sense within our own belief system. We assume that that thing, that makes sense within our own belief system, is what they meant and we move on. So, we will step away from that conversation and make decisions and choices based on the new information that person gave us. We will build other things we believe on top of that information and make even more choices and decisions. And then we come back into contact with that person and tell them about the things that we have learned based on those choices and decisions and ...hey! Why is that person looking at us like we just grew three new heads? Here is where we realize there is a breakdown. They have no idea what we are talking about.
Where is the breakdown though? What causes the miscommunication? Person A gave us information. We just took in that information and started doing things with it right? So if there is any flaw it has to be with the information itself, making it the fault of person A right? Not exactly. Person A did provide us with information, that much is true. And we did start using that information to begin making choices and decisions with. But not right away. First, we filtered that information through our belief system, so that it made sense to us. And that is where the problem comes in. When we did that, we changed what they meant into our understanding of what they meant. Quite frequently, this leads to being wrong while still thinking you are right.
So the two sins here are assuming that you know what someone else means and filtering things through your belief system. But what can you do about it? You have to make assumptions, right? And you have to have a belief system don't you? To both of those questions, I say, no, not really. Uh... what? How is that possible? Well to answer that you really need to understand what both an assumption and a belief system are.
Let's take the assumption first. When you make an assumption you are taking something for granted. You are thinking and acting as if a thing is true, usually without any supporting evidence. You are just accepting that it is true.This is fine if the source of the information is clear and simple or an absolute authority on the subject in question. For example as children we are supposed to accept without question the words of our elders. Another example would be in martial arts a brand new student is supposed to do what they are told without question and to follow in the footsteps of all those who came before. However, in both martial arts and coming of age, there is a time where you are no longer supposed to blindly accept what you are taught. As a black belt you are supposed to question everything. Why does it work this way? Why don't we do it this way instead? What makes this way better than any other way? As an adult the same thing is supposed to happen. Instead you are stuck in this rut, of just accepting whatever new piece of data comes along without question. A decade or two of instruction has ingrained this way of being in you. But you need to break out of it. You should question everything, not in a hostile or aggressive way, but in a way that enables you to understand a thing rather than just accepting it as true.
One of the biggest problems we face in relationships with one another is miscommunication . A person will say something and we will think that we know what it is that they mean. But, most of the time, we actually do not understand what it is that another person says. We just think we do. We take what they say and translate it into something that makes sense within our own belief system. We assume that that thing, that makes sense within our own belief system, is what they meant and we move on. So, we will step away from that conversation and make decisions and choices based on the new information that person gave us. We will build other things we believe on top of that information and make even more choices and decisions. And then we come back into contact with that person and tell them about the things that we have learned based on those choices and decisions and ...hey! Why is that person looking at us like we just grew three new heads? Here is where we realize there is a breakdown. They have no idea what we are talking about.
Where is the breakdown though? What causes the miscommunication? Person A gave us information. We just took in that information and started doing things with it right? So if there is any flaw it has to be with the information itself, making it the fault of person A right? Not exactly. Person A did provide us with information, that much is true. And we did start using that information to begin making choices and decisions with. But not right away. First, we filtered that information through our belief system, so that it made sense to us. And that is where the problem comes in. When we did that, we changed what they meant into our understanding of what they meant. Quite frequently, this leads to being wrong while still thinking you are right.
So the two sins here are assuming that you know what someone else means and filtering things through your belief system. But what can you do about it? You have to make assumptions, right? And you have to have a belief system don't you? To both of those questions, I say, no, not really. Uh... what? How is that possible? Well to answer that you really need to understand what both an assumption and a belief system are.
Let's take the assumption first. When you make an assumption you are taking something for granted. You are thinking and acting as if a thing is true, usually without any supporting evidence. You are just accepting that it is true.This is fine if the source of the information is clear and simple or an absolute authority on the subject in question. For example as children we are supposed to accept without question the words of our elders. Another example would be in martial arts a brand new student is supposed to do what they are told without question and to follow in the footsteps of all those who came before. However, in both martial arts and coming of age, there is a time where you are no longer supposed to blindly accept what you are taught. As a black belt you are supposed to question everything. Why does it work this way? Why don't we do it this way instead? What makes this way better than any other way? As an adult the same thing is supposed to happen. Instead you are stuck in this rut, of just accepting whatever new piece of data comes along without question. A decade or two of instruction has ingrained this way of being in you. But you need to break out of it. You should question everything, not in a hostile or aggressive way, but in a way that enables you to understand a thing rather than just accepting it as true.
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