Our prisons are full of "innocent" men. I'm sure you've heard it before. How many inmates will honestly say "yep I did bad things that I shouldn't have done. I deserve to be here." ? It is a very small number to be sure. But if you break things down rationally step by step most of them will agree to the individual logical steps that end with them spending time in jail.
It is commonly accepted that most people cannot govern themselves. Therefor there must be laws and people to enforce them. There do need to be penalties when those laws are broken to discourage people from breaking them. And most people are aware that going to jail is a potential consequence of breaking those laws. Yet still the guilty often say that they do not belong in jail. That what happened is not their fault. Why is this?
When we hold a person accountable for something we are saying that they are responsible for that thing. These two words are often used almost as synonyms for one another, as they should be. If the problem isn't with the terminology then where is the breakdown?
It's with the people.As children our parents are responsible for everything that we do. They can be and often are held legally accountable for any actions that we take. This is okay because when we are children we are too young to properly understand what is right and wrong and what the repercussions of our actions are. That's practically the definition of being a child.
It is the primary job of a parent to teach their children what is right and wrong and that every action or inaction has consequences. Then when we become adults, we can be mature responsible adults that are truly accountable for our every action. Sadly many of our parents failed to instill this sense of morals and ethics into us, just as their parents failed to instill it in them.
And so it is that we have hundreds of thousands of people doing things every day in this country, things which they know are wrong, yet claiming that its not their fault. They say he made me do it or she tricked me into it. But that is not the truth..
If a person lies to you, blackmails you or threatens to hurt you in order to get you to do something wrong, that doesn't absolve you of responsibility. If you did something wrong you did something wrong. They are not responsible for the thing that you did. You are. They are just responsible for their part in getting you to do it.
Laying blame on another person does not change the actions you took.You are responsible for every single thing which you decide to do. You, as an adult, can and will (trust me) be held accountable for every single thing that you do.
We, as a country, as a world, need to start instilling this in ourselves and our children because our prisons aren't going to get any less populated as long as people can always point a finger at someone else instead of admitting that what they did is their fault and theirs alone.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Monday, October 14, 2013
Have both.
As young children we are encouraged to have fun, be happy, and silly and to enjoy life in general.We play lots of games, have all different kinds of toys and make friends easily.
But at some point we are told that that part of life is over and that we have to grow up. We need to get serious about learning the things that we will need in order to have a good life later.
I think that is probably what started me on my original path to rebellion. My step-dad and I always disagreed about how life worked. I refused to believe his point of view. Even now, thirty years later, I still don't agree with it.
It seems kind of stupid, to me, to be told that you have to give up a perfectly good life full of joy and happiness so that you can suffer through a bunch of stuff that you have absolutely no interest in, just so that one day you can go back to being happy again.
Why can't we have both? Grow up and be a child at the same time. Studies have shown that short breaks every thirty minutes to an hour during work or school lead to much more productive work being accomplished, both in volume and quality.
While I may be fairly good at it, in general, I have no interest in being an adult. I want to spend my time playing games, reading and going on adventures. And I bet you do too. Learning new things is enjoyable to me just so that I can find other things that are fun to do and other people to do them with. Teaching is fun for me because I like seeing the inner child in others light up when it learns something new.
We all have responsibilities as adults, things that we cannot get away from. And yes, some of those things do actually require us to be serious and disciplined. A lot of them don't though. And why shouldn't we have fun at every other possible moment where we are not required to be a grown up?
Besides, the end goal isn't real for any of us until we reach it. Until then now is the only time that ever matters. Why suffer through now after now after now that is simply crappy because you aren't allowed to have fun?
If the matter isn't death or the loss of some big account at work, live a little. Be serious when you have to, have fun when you don't. Hold both. Make all your nows as enjoyable as you can until you are done being an adult. And then be a kid all the time.
I mean isn't that really what being rich is about? The freedom to do what you want when you want? We should cram as much joy and happiness into each moment of life as we possibly can. And isn't that what the child within all of us really wants?
But at some point we are told that that part of life is over and that we have to grow up. We need to get serious about learning the things that we will need in order to have a good life later.
I think that is probably what started me on my original path to rebellion. My step-dad and I always disagreed about how life worked. I refused to believe his point of view. Even now, thirty years later, I still don't agree with it.
It seems kind of stupid, to me, to be told that you have to give up a perfectly good life full of joy and happiness so that you can suffer through a bunch of stuff that you have absolutely no interest in, just so that one day you can go back to being happy again.
Why can't we have both? Grow up and be a child at the same time. Studies have shown that short breaks every thirty minutes to an hour during work or school lead to much more productive work being accomplished, both in volume and quality.
While I may be fairly good at it, in general, I have no interest in being an adult. I want to spend my time playing games, reading and going on adventures. And I bet you do too. Learning new things is enjoyable to me just so that I can find other things that are fun to do and other people to do them with. Teaching is fun for me because I like seeing the inner child in others light up when it learns something new.
We all have responsibilities as adults, things that we cannot get away from. And yes, some of those things do actually require us to be serious and disciplined. A lot of them don't though. And why shouldn't we have fun at every other possible moment where we are not required to be a grown up?
Besides, the end goal isn't real for any of us until we reach it. Until then now is the only time that ever matters. Why suffer through now after now after now that is simply crappy because you aren't allowed to have fun?
If the matter isn't death or the loss of some big account at work, live a little. Be serious when you have to, have fun when you don't. Hold both. Make all your nows as enjoyable as you can until you are done being an adult. And then be a kid all the time.
I mean isn't that really what being rich is about? The freedom to do what you want when you want? We should cram as much joy and happiness into each moment of life as we possibly can. And isn't that what the child within all of us really wants?
Saturday, October 12, 2013
School isn't working
Why do we send our children to school? Wasn't the idea to give them
the knowledge and skills that they will need as adults in this world?
At some point it was decided that every student should learn the "three" R's. Reading,writing and (a)rithmetic. I find it ironic that that became a saying considering that reading is the only one that actually starts with the letter R. It is kind of fitting though since school is filled with so many things that seem like a nice idea but when you look closely don't make any sense at all.
I agree very strongly that the three R's should be the absolute minimum at which we strive to teach our children. But our current system is failing at even that. The average student graduating from high school in America reads on a fifth grade level, can barely multiply and divide and has handwriting so atrocious that nobody else can read it.
For that reason alone our system needs to be seriously revamped. But even if we manage to bring those things to a manageable level, there are so many other things that are wrong or do not work and so much more that our kids should be learning.
Although the No Kid Left Behind laws are being repealed the truth is we have had some kind of program in our schools that does more or less the same thing for nearly a hundred years. And it has been failing that whole time. Children are individuals. No two of them are the same. Holding them each to the same standards is both stupid and unfair. What is simple for one is nearly impossible for another. Some children need a curriculum that is individualized due to learning blocks or starting school years later than others due to family issues. That is not to say that we should coddle them. I believe we need to be harsh but fair.
And on top of that. The three R's are not enough to get by in life today. The way the world is today everyone should learn sociology and psychology to better be able to understand their neighbors on spaceship Earth and to learn how to deal with their own feelings. When do they learn how to get a job or what people skills they will need in order to keep it?
It also wouldn't hurt if martial arts were taught to children in schools so that everyone has the capacity to protect themselves when they need to. Not everyone needs to know the atomic weight of iridium. But everyone needs to defend themselves or someone else at some point in their life.
And last but certainly not least. What about self empowerment? When are they supposed to learn about The Law of Attraction? Or the power of being a positive influence on their own lives and that of others? When do they learn the skills that they will REALLY need to not only survive but to get ahead and stay that way?
If school really is supposed to give our children what they need to live the best lives they can possibly have, then our whole system is woefully inadequate and needs to be reworked.
Have any good ideas?
At some point it was decided that every student should learn the "three" R's. Reading,writing and (a)rithmetic. I find it ironic that that became a saying considering that reading is the only one that actually starts with the letter R. It is kind of fitting though since school is filled with so many things that seem like a nice idea but when you look closely don't make any sense at all.
I agree very strongly that the three R's should be the absolute minimum at which we strive to teach our children. But our current system is failing at even that. The average student graduating from high school in America reads on a fifth grade level, can barely multiply and divide and has handwriting so atrocious that nobody else can read it.
For that reason alone our system needs to be seriously revamped. But even if we manage to bring those things to a manageable level, there are so many other things that are wrong or do not work and so much more that our kids should be learning.
Although the No Kid Left Behind laws are being repealed the truth is we have had some kind of program in our schools that does more or less the same thing for nearly a hundred years. And it has been failing that whole time. Children are individuals. No two of them are the same. Holding them each to the same standards is both stupid and unfair. What is simple for one is nearly impossible for another. Some children need a curriculum that is individualized due to learning blocks or starting school years later than others due to family issues. That is not to say that we should coddle them. I believe we need to be harsh but fair.
And on top of that. The three R's are not enough to get by in life today. The way the world is today everyone should learn sociology and psychology to better be able to understand their neighbors on spaceship Earth and to learn how to deal with their own feelings. When do they learn how to get a job or what people skills they will need in order to keep it?
It also wouldn't hurt if martial arts were taught to children in schools so that everyone has the capacity to protect themselves when they need to. Not everyone needs to know the atomic weight of iridium. But everyone needs to defend themselves or someone else at some point in their life.
And last but certainly not least. What about self empowerment? When are they supposed to learn about The Law of Attraction? Or the power of being a positive influence on their own lives and that of others? When do they learn the skills that they will REALLY need to not only survive but to get ahead and stay that way?
If school really is supposed to give our children what they need to live the best lives they can possibly have, then our whole system is woefully inadequate and needs to be reworked.
Have any good ideas?
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Progress reports
Remember report card day when you were growing up?
Maybe you were one of those kids who made straight A's in school and knew you had nothing to worry about when it came time to show the folks how you were doing in class. Maybe you made a few A's and the rest B's and C's. Or perhaps you were one of those kids that dreaded report card day because you knew that's when the folks would get to find out just exactly how bad you were doing.
Regardless of which of the above mentioned three groups you were in, whether it was fear or anticipation, there was still always an air of nervous excitement when the grades were being handed out. Even if you knew exactly what grade you had in every category, somehow it was just never real until you saw the letters on that piece of paper spelling it all out in no uncertain terms.
The kids with the good grades would usually brag to their friends and be happy to show their parents. While the ones that did not do so well often avoided the subject when asked and did everything possible to keep their parents from finding out.
Children of course do not really understand the point of report cards. The idea is to give the teachers, parents and yes even the students an idea of how the student is doing in relation to the other students and to compare how they are doing now from how they were doing at previous set points. When things are going fine no alteration needs to occur. But when the student is failing, these progress reports allow all involved to become aware that the child is having problems in one or more areas and needs more focus in those areas in order to achieve success.
It seems that many parents do not really get the point either. The fear of failure or of doing bad that causes some children to want to hide their report cards from their parents often comes as a result of punishment that many parents mete out when their children do not do as well as they think they should. If parents did not act this way, if instead they asked questions, offered constructive criticism and worked with their children to help them get better grades, then the children would be more likely to share the news with their parents, whether it be good or bad.
But progress reports don't end when we leave school do they? They exist in most office places and other jobs. There may be weekly progress reports on specific projects. There are quarterly statements to let shareholders and company managers know the general status of how things are going within the company. And of course there are yearly reviews where it is decided how each individual employee is doing and whether or not to give them a raise or terminate their employment.
There are also many other progress reports in life that you may not be aware of. Whether you realize it or not many of your friends and loved ones evaluate where you are in your life as opposed to where you were say a year or maybe even five years ago. Other people make value judgements about you based on where you are as compared to where they think you should be. Sometimes they will modify their relationships with you as a result of these evaluations.
Just as you really couldn't get away from your report cards as a child you can not escape these progress reports either. Many of the business and relationship progress reports are filled with things that you are never made aware of. As a result you never know how you are doing in the eyes of others and can never use this information for personal growth.
However, if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you can and should at regular intervals compare how you are doing currently with the goals that you have set for yourself. In the last six months what steps have you taken for self empowerment and improvement? Out of the main categories of life, spiritual,mental, physical, emotional and material, what changes have occurred and how do they fit in with your long term goals? Have you reached any of your goals,short or long term? If so which ones and what new goals do you have now? If not, why not? And what do you intend to do about that?
Maybe you were one of those kids who made straight A's in school and knew you had nothing to worry about when it came time to show the folks how you were doing in class. Maybe you made a few A's and the rest B's and C's. Or perhaps you were one of those kids that dreaded report card day because you knew that's when the folks would get to find out just exactly how bad you were doing.
Regardless of which of the above mentioned three groups you were in, whether it was fear or anticipation, there was still always an air of nervous excitement when the grades were being handed out. Even if you knew exactly what grade you had in every category, somehow it was just never real until you saw the letters on that piece of paper spelling it all out in no uncertain terms.
The kids with the good grades would usually brag to their friends and be happy to show their parents. While the ones that did not do so well often avoided the subject when asked and did everything possible to keep their parents from finding out.
Children of course do not really understand the point of report cards. The idea is to give the teachers, parents and yes even the students an idea of how the student is doing in relation to the other students and to compare how they are doing now from how they were doing at previous set points. When things are going fine no alteration needs to occur. But when the student is failing, these progress reports allow all involved to become aware that the child is having problems in one or more areas and needs more focus in those areas in order to achieve success.
It seems that many parents do not really get the point either. The fear of failure or of doing bad that causes some children to want to hide their report cards from their parents often comes as a result of punishment that many parents mete out when their children do not do as well as they think they should. If parents did not act this way, if instead they asked questions, offered constructive criticism and worked with their children to help them get better grades, then the children would be more likely to share the news with their parents, whether it be good or bad.
But progress reports don't end when we leave school do they? They exist in most office places and other jobs. There may be weekly progress reports on specific projects. There are quarterly statements to let shareholders and company managers know the general status of how things are going within the company. And of course there are yearly reviews where it is decided how each individual employee is doing and whether or not to give them a raise or terminate their employment.
There are also many other progress reports in life that you may not be aware of. Whether you realize it or not many of your friends and loved ones evaluate where you are in your life as opposed to where you were say a year or maybe even five years ago. Other people make value judgements about you based on where you are as compared to where they think you should be. Sometimes they will modify their relationships with you as a result of these evaluations.
Just as you really couldn't get away from your report cards as a child you can not escape these progress reports either. Many of the business and relationship progress reports are filled with things that you are never made aware of. As a result you never know how you are doing in the eyes of others and can never use this information for personal growth.
However, if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you can and should at regular intervals compare how you are doing currently with the goals that you have set for yourself. In the last six months what steps have you taken for self empowerment and improvement? Out of the main categories of life, spiritual,mental, physical, emotional and material, what changes have occurred and how do they fit in with your long term goals? Have you reached any of your goals,short or long term? If so which ones and what new goals do you have now? If not, why not? And what do you intend to do about that?
Sunday, August 11, 2013
When I grow up?
What did you or do you say when people ask what you want to be when
you grow up? From lots of kids I've heard answers like a firefighter,
astronaut, or super hero. Very few people ever end up with the job they
claimed to want as young children. When asked, I never really knew what
to say. I know the point of the question is to make you think about what
kind of career you will end up with, but to me, the question always
just seemed so limiting.
I wanted to do everything. I wanted more time to decide. I wanted to be a child for decades so I could try a little bit of a lot of different things and not really be pushed into any one particular thing. Eventually I settled on the answer of by the time I grow up, I intend to be old, if I in fact ever grow up at all.
Kids have this sense of wonder and awe at the newness of everything. Nearly every minute that they are not being hit with some negative stimulus, they are happy. It is something that most adults lose and with it a lot of the light in their life goes away. We tend to get jaded and bitter and cynical about life and all of it's little details. Our interest in learning new things goes out the window. Once that happens we tend to grow old and die.
Many of the oldest people in the world have attributed their long lives to being happy people. If that is true, if happiness is the key to a long life then we should do our best to keep that childlike sense of wonder alive, or to rekindle it if it has been lost.
But how would one go about doing that? One way would be to spend as much time as possible around young children. Kids in the two to seven year old range have generally not been subjected to the fears and prejudices of their parents for long enough to tarnish their natural unconditional love of nearly everyone and everything.
I know from personal experience with my son that spending just a few minutes in his presence is enough to brighten my whole day. Seeing life through his eyes, observing how he takes in new data, how he rushes headlong with total enthusiasm into everything he chooses to do and seeing him so open and willing to share warms my heart,makes me smile and occasionally even brings out some tears of joy. It is such a beautiful thing.
Another way would be to remember being a young child. The person that you were when you believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and a world filled with magick is still there inside of you It never really goes away. It just gets pushed back and shoved down. In reality, adults are just taller children playing at being older people and handling responsibilities.
But if you decide to find or build a loving supportive environment where you can safely let your safeguards and walls down, you can learn to get back in touch with that inner child, the person that you really are. You can take back your happiness. And if you really want to be, you can be that person nearly all the time. We put up the walls as an automatic measure to keep us safe. With the wisdom of age, comes the experience to be open and loving with most people and put the walls back up briefly when you need to.
You can turn plain old everyday boring life in to a super awesome unbelievably fun adventure with no ordinary moments, just by shifting your perspective. In reality that is all that ever really changes. No one ever really grows up, they just find different ways of dealing with obstacles. Some people choose to become more stuffy and boring and some people choose not to.
I changed my mind. I am never growing up.
I wanted to do everything. I wanted more time to decide. I wanted to be a child for decades so I could try a little bit of a lot of different things and not really be pushed into any one particular thing. Eventually I settled on the answer of by the time I grow up, I intend to be old, if I in fact ever grow up at all.
Kids have this sense of wonder and awe at the newness of everything. Nearly every minute that they are not being hit with some negative stimulus, they are happy. It is something that most adults lose and with it a lot of the light in their life goes away. We tend to get jaded and bitter and cynical about life and all of it's little details. Our interest in learning new things goes out the window. Once that happens we tend to grow old and die.
Many of the oldest people in the world have attributed their long lives to being happy people. If that is true, if happiness is the key to a long life then we should do our best to keep that childlike sense of wonder alive, or to rekindle it if it has been lost.
But how would one go about doing that? One way would be to spend as much time as possible around young children. Kids in the two to seven year old range have generally not been subjected to the fears and prejudices of their parents for long enough to tarnish their natural unconditional love of nearly everyone and everything.
I know from personal experience with my son that spending just a few minutes in his presence is enough to brighten my whole day. Seeing life through his eyes, observing how he takes in new data, how he rushes headlong with total enthusiasm into everything he chooses to do and seeing him so open and willing to share warms my heart,makes me smile and occasionally even brings out some tears of joy. It is such a beautiful thing.
Another way would be to remember being a young child. The person that you were when you believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and a world filled with magick is still there inside of you It never really goes away. It just gets pushed back and shoved down. In reality, adults are just taller children playing at being older people and handling responsibilities.
But if you decide to find or build a loving supportive environment where you can safely let your safeguards and walls down, you can learn to get back in touch with that inner child, the person that you really are. You can take back your happiness. And if you really want to be, you can be that person nearly all the time. We put up the walls as an automatic measure to keep us safe. With the wisdom of age, comes the experience to be open and loving with most people and put the walls back up briefly when you need to.
You can turn plain old everyday boring life in to a super awesome unbelievably fun adventure with no ordinary moments, just by shifting your perspective. In reality that is all that ever really changes. No one ever really grows up, they just find different ways of dealing with obstacles. Some people choose to become more stuffy and boring and some people choose not to.
I changed my mind. I am never growing up.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
You ARE God pt2
As children, we are taught not to show weakness or vulnerability,
boys especially. We are told not to cry in front of others because
"they" will use our weakness against us. Now while this may actually be
true, it is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy. We make it true. We take
the pure love that all children have at the beginning of life and turn a
lot of it dark by making an automatic belief that all new or different
people are bad. This belief paves the way for a great number of
tragedies later in life. It starts out as just a simple fear of
strangers but it sets the stage for things like racial prejudice and
intolerance, misogyny, homophobia an inability to function well socially
and even a hatred of and unwillingness to try anything new.
A person coming from a place of love and understanding would never take advantage of vulnerability in another person. Not just because they would not make that choice, it simply would not even occur to them as an option. But because we worry about our children and want to keep them safe we tell them that they need to be on guard against those who might want to hurt them. The problem is the way we go about it. An unreasoning fear against the unknown is not the answer. We should teach them to be open to new people and ideas but cautious, to slowly over time learn about them and decide for themselves whether they are good for them or not. When coming from a place of love you create love. When coming from a place of not love you create not love.
Therein lies the problem. People that you do not know, will take advantage of you if you let them. It is true. But only because we make it true. By teaching our children this the seeds of mistrust and hate are sown and if we don't stop them from going down that path, they will be the ones taking advantage of others later on in life because of a do unto others before they do unto you type of attitude. If we were to teach caution instead of fear however then some truly amazing change could occur. IF every parent in the world were to suddenly decide to make this one change in their way of being, much of what is wrong with our world would simply disappear. The problem is the whole world isn't going to change overnight. There is too much mistrust and fear. So what to do?
Become a god! Don't laugh I am serious. When people talk about a god what are they referring to? It is generally a being of immense power with near absolute control over every facet of a person's life. A god can decide whether you live or die and whether you are fortunate or unfortunate in life. While it may not be possible for you to control the whole world, I submit that it IS possible for you to control nearly every aspect of things around you in your everyday life.
You can change whatever it is that you do not like about your life. The key factor here is that you have to care enough about that change to be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. In a previous example, you were hungry, you exerted your will and change happened. No exertion brings no change. Or worse yet, it brings change that you have no control over. You already control every facet of your life whether you realize it or not.The hard part to swallow in all of this is, if that is true, then you are responsible for exactly where you are in life right now. All of the things that you do not like about your life you either chose or allowed to happen by letting other people choose for you.
What stops most people is either laziness or lack of desire to bring about the change they say they want. A woman who is being abused by her husband but still stays in the relationship is getting something out of that relationship that is more important to her, at the time at least, than not being in that relationship. It doesn't matter what it is whether it's great sex or a feeling of being wanted or whatever. Until her desire to not be abused is greater than whatever she is getting out of it nothing will change.
Tune in tomorrow for more about the god that you already are.
A person coming from a place of love and understanding would never take advantage of vulnerability in another person. Not just because they would not make that choice, it simply would not even occur to them as an option. But because we worry about our children and want to keep them safe we tell them that they need to be on guard against those who might want to hurt them. The problem is the way we go about it. An unreasoning fear against the unknown is not the answer. We should teach them to be open to new people and ideas but cautious, to slowly over time learn about them and decide for themselves whether they are good for them or not. When coming from a place of love you create love. When coming from a place of not love you create not love.
Therein lies the problem. People that you do not know, will take advantage of you if you let them. It is true. But only because we make it true. By teaching our children this the seeds of mistrust and hate are sown and if we don't stop them from going down that path, they will be the ones taking advantage of others later on in life because of a do unto others before they do unto you type of attitude. If we were to teach caution instead of fear however then some truly amazing change could occur. IF every parent in the world were to suddenly decide to make this one change in their way of being, much of what is wrong with our world would simply disappear. The problem is the whole world isn't going to change overnight. There is too much mistrust and fear. So what to do?
Become a god! Don't laugh I am serious. When people talk about a god what are they referring to? It is generally a being of immense power with near absolute control over every facet of a person's life. A god can decide whether you live or die and whether you are fortunate or unfortunate in life. While it may not be possible for you to control the whole world, I submit that it IS possible for you to control nearly every aspect of things around you in your everyday life.
You can change whatever it is that you do not like about your life. The key factor here is that you have to care enough about that change to be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. In a previous example, you were hungry, you exerted your will and change happened. No exertion brings no change. Or worse yet, it brings change that you have no control over. You already control every facet of your life whether you realize it or not.The hard part to swallow in all of this is, if that is true, then you are responsible for exactly where you are in life right now. All of the things that you do not like about your life you either chose or allowed to happen by letting other people choose for you.
What stops most people is either laziness or lack of desire to bring about the change they say they want. A woman who is being abused by her husband but still stays in the relationship is getting something out of that relationship that is more important to her, at the time at least, than not being in that relationship. It doesn't matter what it is whether it's great sex or a feeling of being wanted or whatever. Until her desire to not be abused is greater than whatever she is getting out of it nothing will change.
Tune in tomorrow for more about the god that you already are.
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