The Bible says that woman is supposed to be a helper to man. It implies that he is the leader and she the follower. But it does not say she is his slave. It does not say he is better than her. And in fact a great leader is also a servant to those he leads.
Out of jealousy and fear of loss a man will say my wife cannot do this or that or see so and so.When a man tells a woman what she is and is not allowed to do he is being ridiculous. She was born just as free as he was. She can make whatever choices she wants.She is only with him because she chooses to be and she could choose not to be at any time.Here is a woman who despite all his faults has chosen to be with this man.
If she truly loves him, she will not do anything to cause him harm. And if she does they are better off not together. Being jealous simply tells one that they do not trust the other and in fact pushes that other further away. It hurts them and makes them more likely to do the very thing that you fear.
None of us are slaves. We are all born free and remain free every moment of our lives. You do not own anyone or anything, not now, nor will you ever. And no amount of posturing, blustering, bribing or wheedling can ever change that.
Realize and accept that all of the people that are in your daily life are not really yours. They are each their own. You just happen to be traveling in the same direction together. Every moment that they spend with you is a privilege that can be revoked at anytime by you acting like a jerk and smothering them. There is something about you that they like otherwise they would not stay.
If you want to keep the relationships that you do have, focus on finding out what it is that they like and increasing it or decreasing the opposites. Show that you appreciate the fact that they choose to be with you. And unless you are doing it to in some way defend them, never ever stake a claim to a person as belonging to you. To people who don't know better you look like a control freak. To people who do, you look like a control freak and an idiot. The former will simply leave. The latter will leave and laugh at you.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Progress reports
Remember report card day when you were growing up?
Maybe you were one of those kids who made straight A's in school and knew you had nothing to worry about when it came time to show the folks how you were doing in class. Maybe you made a few A's and the rest B's and C's. Or perhaps you were one of those kids that dreaded report card day because you knew that's when the folks would get to find out just exactly how bad you were doing.
Regardless of which of the above mentioned three groups you were in, whether it was fear or anticipation, there was still always an air of nervous excitement when the grades were being handed out. Even if you knew exactly what grade you had in every category, somehow it was just never real until you saw the letters on that piece of paper spelling it all out in no uncertain terms.
The kids with the good grades would usually brag to their friends and be happy to show their parents. While the ones that did not do so well often avoided the subject when asked and did everything possible to keep their parents from finding out.
Children of course do not really understand the point of report cards. The idea is to give the teachers, parents and yes even the students an idea of how the student is doing in relation to the other students and to compare how they are doing now from how they were doing at previous set points. When things are going fine no alteration needs to occur. But when the student is failing, these progress reports allow all involved to become aware that the child is having problems in one or more areas and needs more focus in those areas in order to achieve success.
It seems that many parents do not really get the point either. The fear of failure or of doing bad that causes some children to want to hide their report cards from their parents often comes as a result of punishment that many parents mete out when their children do not do as well as they think they should. If parents did not act this way, if instead they asked questions, offered constructive criticism and worked with their children to help them get better grades, then the children would be more likely to share the news with their parents, whether it be good or bad.
But progress reports don't end when we leave school do they? They exist in most office places and other jobs. There may be weekly progress reports on specific projects. There are quarterly statements to let shareholders and company managers know the general status of how things are going within the company. And of course there are yearly reviews where it is decided how each individual employee is doing and whether or not to give them a raise or terminate their employment.
There are also many other progress reports in life that you may not be aware of. Whether you realize it or not many of your friends and loved ones evaluate where you are in your life as opposed to where you were say a year or maybe even five years ago. Other people make value judgements about you based on where you are as compared to where they think you should be. Sometimes they will modify their relationships with you as a result of these evaluations.
Just as you really couldn't get away from your report cards as a child you can not escape these progress reports either. Many of the business and relationship progress reports are filled with things that you are never made aware of. As a result you never know how you are doing in the eyes of others and can never use this information for personal growth.
However, if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you can and should at regular intervals compare how you are doing currently with the goals that you have set for yourself. In the last six months what steps have you taken for self empowerment and improvement? Out of the main categories of life, spiritual,mental, physical, emotional and material, what changes have occurred and how do they fit in with your long term goals? Have you reached any of your goals,short or long term? If so which ones and what new goals do you have now? If not, why not? And what do you intend to do about that?
Maybe you were one of those kids who made straight A's in school and knew you had nothing to worry about when it came time to show the folks how you were doing in class. Maybe you made a few A's and the rest B's and C's. Or perhaps you were one of those kids that dreaded report card day because you knew that's when the folks would get to find out just exactly how bad you were doing.
Regardless of which of the above mentioned three groups you were in, whether it was fear or anticipation, there was still always an air of nervous excitement when the grades were being handed out. Even if you knew exactly what grade you had in every category, somehow it was just never real until you saw the letters on that piece of paper spelling it all out in no uncertain terms.
The kids with the good grades would usually brag to their friends and be happy to show their parents. While the ones that did not do so well often avoided the subject when asked and did everything possible to keep their parents from finding out.
Children of course do not really understand the point of report cards. The idea is to give the teachers, parents and yes even the students an idea of how the student is doing in relation to the other students and to compare how they are doing now from how they were doing at previous set points. When things are going fine no alteration needs to occur. But when the student is failing, these progress reports allow all involved to become aware that the child is having problems in one or more areas and needs more focus in those areas in order to achieve success.
It seems that many parents do not really get the point either. The fear of failure or of doing bad that causes some children to want to hide their report cards from their parents often comes as a result of punishment that many parents mete out when their children do not do as well as they think they should. If parents did not act this way, if instead they asked questions, offered constructive criticism and worked with their children to help them get better grades, then the children would be more likely to share the news with their parents, whether it be good or bad.
But progress reports don't end when we leave school do they? They exist in most office places and other jobs. There may be weekly progress reports on specific projects. There are quarterly statements to let shareholders and company managers know the general status of how things are going within the company. And of course there are yearly reviews where it is decided how each individual employee is doing and whether or not to give them a raise or terminate their employment.
There are also many other progress reports in life that you may not be aware of. Whether you realize it or not many of your friends and loved ones evaluate where you are in your life as opposed to where you were say a year or maybe even five years ago. Other people make value judgements about you based on where you are as compared to where they think you should be. Sometimes they will modify their relationships with you as a result of these evaluations.
Just as you really couldn't get away from your report cards as a child you can not escape these progress reports either. Many of the business and relationship progress reports are filled with things that you are never made aware of. As a result you never know how you are doing in the eyes of others and can never use this information for personal growth.
However, if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you can and should at regular intervals compare how you are doing currently with the goals that you have set for yourself. In the last six months what steps have you taken for self empowerment and improvement? Out of the main categories of life, spiritual,mental, physical, emotional and material, what changes have occurred and how do they fit in with your long term goals? Have you reached any of your goals,short or long term? If so which ones and what new goals do you have now? If not, why not? And what do you intend to do about that?
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