As you may or may not be aware, tomorrow(Friday) is the official opening night for The Amazing Spiderman 2. Early showings are available tonight in select locations and then tomorrow it will be in theaters practically everywhere.
This is a movie I want to see. Most, if not all, of the people that I live with want to see it as well. But left sort things out on their own most of us would not see it. It seems kind of weird to me for something that we are all so excited about, but I have seen it happen many times.
There is a new movie out just about every week that most of us are interested in. Due to our general day to day schedule, most movie watching is done either on Friday, Saturday or Sunday nights. Though, if one of us does not speak up on Wednesday or Thursday about our plans for the weekend, people tend to make plans of their own to do other things. On Friday nights three of us work. On Saturdays we have a game that takes up most of the late afternoon and evening hours. On Sunday some of us do family related events with others outside of the house.
When a new movie comes out that I want to see, typically, I am the one that rallies the troops, sorts out the scheduling conflicts, and the financial concerns. I know we all want to see the latest blockbuster, so I make it happen. If I didn't do it, we would go months without watching movies together. I know this to be true because I have tested it on multiple occasions.
See, I learned something a long time ago that I apply to my everyday life. It is a simple 20 letter phrase made up of ten two letter words.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
This literally means that if something is going to happen, it falls on me to make it happen. Or put a different way, if there is something that matters to me, I am responsible for handling all of the details involved in making it happen. If I fail to do so, then that thing is not as important to me as I may want to believe it is.
People often complain about how something doesn't get done if they don't do it and they wonder why they always have to be the one to make it happen. The simple answer is because they care more about making that thing happen than anyone else around them does. That thing either doesn't matter at all to others or just matters less to them than it does to the one that typically makes it happen. Whining, shouting and complaining about how much they don't like being the one to go through the effort of making it happen isn't fruitful.
Going out to eat and going to movies is pretty much what we do to socialize together, outside the house. It is very important to me. Others in the house say it is important to them as well, but obviously less so.
There is often quite a bit to the logistics of getting us all together at once, especially if we are meeting others that don't live in the house. It can be a lot of work. And I could whine, complain, get frustrated, angry or stressed about it. Or I could just not do it.
Instead I just remind myself that if it is to be, it is up to me. I don't get upset. I smile because I know that I am the one responsible for getting us all together, out of the house, laughing and having a good time. It is worth all the effort and trouble in the end, because I get to see the people I love enjoying themselves.
There are other tasks that are less rewarding that I apply the same logic to. If it is important enough for me to really care about the outcome,it is important enough for me to have a direct hand in guiding that outcome. And if it isn't important enough for me to take part in making it happen, I have no right to complain about the outcome being different than what I would have wanted.
Make this lesson your own and many everyday stresses will simply disappear.
Showing posts with label house. Show all posts
Showing posts with label house. Show all posts
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Complete fail
So, there was this plan for today and due to something that I failed to do, that thing cannot happen today.
See, for the past few years we have been pretty negligent in the overall upkeep of our home. Internally we have done most of the day to day cleaning one would expect. But the long term type of stuff has been put off inside the house and except for cutting the grass shortly before the city decides to fine us, most of the outside of our home has been ignored.
As part of our plan to live in excellence and improve every area of our lives we decided that this could not continue. We got together, sat down and wrote up a list of the thing that needed doing, room by room inside and area by area on the outside of the house. The list is several pages long.
One of the items on that list was pressure cleaning the outside of our house. Due to vegetation that had grown up right next to the house in a bunch of areas and deteriorating lawn furniture the bottom two feet or so of most of the front of our house is a greenish black color, which by the way, doesn't go very well with the exterior paint color of our home. The plants and furniture are gone but the greenish black color remains.
What was supposed to happen today is, I was supposed to get up early go out to Home Depot, rent a pressure cleaner and then another roommate, one who has some experience in such matters, was going to use said device to pressure clean the outside of our house. What actually happened is, I failed to set my alarm and woke up way too late to get the required tool to clean our house today.
If I were still the same person I was twenty years ago, or if I were like many people still are today, I would be beating myself up over this mistake. There would be stress, angst and frustration over how I screwed up such a simple task. My self worth would take a hit. I would probably avoid my roommate so I could avoid dealing with or in fact even admitting that I had broken an agreement. My day would effectively be ruined due to a simple dumb mistake. I would carry around all that negative energy without even realizing it and it would color other interactions that I have with people for at least today and maybe even longer.
But none of that would be useful or productive and it would only serve to lower the quality of my life. And THAT is unacceptable. So unless you want many of those same things in your life, I suggest and request for your own sake that you learn from my example. Instead of beating yourself up over every single thing that you do wrong or that you forget to do, do what I do, and what I did in this case.
There was a light tapping at my door. I had been asleep. It instantly woke me. People don't normally knock on my bedroom door. So, I spent a moment going over all the things that were supposed to happen today. When I recalled the pressure cleaning that was supposed to happen today a loud expletive escaped my lips and I instantly knew what my course of action was going to be.
I put some clothing on and went out to talk to my roommate. I immediately admitted my broken agreement and took full responsibility for it. I apologized for the mistake and announced my intent to recommit. We renegotiated the plan to be exactly the same, just tomorrow instead of today.
I acknowledged the broken agreement, apologized for the inconvenience and set an expectation for what my future intentions regarding the agreement are. As long as the other party isn't determined to hold a grudge, this makes even complete failures turn into a win-win situation for all involved. And isn't that what we all really want? To be happy and relaxed and enjoy life.
See, for the past few years we have been pretty negligent in the overall upkeep of our home. Internally we have done most of the day to day cleaning one would expect. But the long term type of stuff has been put off inside the house and except for cutting the grass shortly before the city decides to fine us, most of the outside of our home has been ignored.
As part of our plan to live in excellence and improve every area of our lives we decided that this could not continue. We got together, sat down and wrote up a list of the thing that needed doing, room by room inside and area by area on the outside of the house. The list is several pages long.
One of the items on that list was pressure cleaning the outside of our house. Due to vegetation that had grown up right next to the house in a bunch of areas and deteriorating lawn furniture the bottom two feet or so of most of the front of our house is a greenish black color, which by the way, doesn't go very well with the exterior paint color of our home. The plants and furniture are gone but the greenish black color remains.
What was supposed to happen today is, I was supposed to get up early go out to Home Depot, rent a pressure cleaner and then another roommate, one who has some experience in such matters, was going to use said device to pressure clean the outside of our house. What actually happened is, I failed to set my alarm and woke up way too late to get the required tool to clean our house today.
If I were still the same person I was twenty years ago, or if I were like many people still are today, I would be beating myself up over this mistake. There would be stress, angst and frustration over how I screwed up such a simple task. My self worth would take a hit. I would probably avoid my roommate so I could avoid dealing with or in fact even admitting that I had broken an agreement. My day would effectively be ruined due to a simple dumb mistake. I would carry around all that negative energy without even realizing it and it would color other interactions that I have with people for at least today and maybe even longer.
But none of that would be useful or productive and it would only serve to lower the quality of my life. And THAT is unacceptable. So unless you want many of those same things in your life, I suggest and request for your own sake that you learn from my example. Instead of beating yourself up over every single thing that you do wrong or that you forget to do, do what I do, and what I did in this case.
There was a light tapping at my door. I had been asleep. It instantly woke me. People don't normally knock on my bedroom door. So, I spent a moment going over all the things that were supposed to happen today. When I recalled the pressure cleaning that was supposed to happen today a loud expletive escaped my lips and I instantly knew what my course of action was going to be.
I put some clothing on and went out to talk to my roommate. I immediately admitted my broken agreement and took full responsibility for it. I apologized for the mistake and announced my intent to recommit. We renegotiated the plan to be exactly the same, just tomorrow instead of today.
I acknowledged the broken agreement, apologized for the inconvenience and set an expectation for what my future intentions regarding the agreement are. As long as the other party isn't determined to hold a grudge, this makes even complete failures turn into a win-win situation for all involved. And isn't that what we all really want? To be happy and relaxed and enjoy life.
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