The thoughts and solutions of crazy people

Do you talk to yourself? Of course you don't. Only scary, crazy homeless people do that. Or probably more accurately, of course you do, you just don't admit it because you don't want people to think you are one of  "those" people.

But have you ever had this problem that you really were struggling to come up with a solution for? Or something that you were just having trouble coming to terms with? What do we do when that happens? When we get lost we tend to look to others for a solution.

So we take some trusted person, be it lover, friend or family member and set aside some time to talk. The other person is all nervous because they are worried about you and what this problem is that you can't solve (but haven't told them anything about up until this point). They aren't even sure that they will be able to help you.

So the conversation begins. You outline the problem, explaining exactly why it is an issue, who it creates hardship for and all of the negative things associated with it. You go into detail about how long this has been going on and what will happen if the problem isn't fixed.

The other person listens for a few minutes, formulates their own opinions and prepares to give you advice. But every time they open up their mouths to speak you rush on with more about the situation, eventually explaining all the possible choices. You weigh the pros and cons of each solution, where they work and where they fail, making the cases both for and against, as if you were defendant and prosecutor all at once. After a very lengthy monologue, you decide what the best possible solution is and resolve to go with that method.

Then what happens?  You thank your confidante for their assistance, promise to talk again soon and send the very flabbergasted and confused person on their way.

They thought they were coming to your aid. They believed the purpose of their visit was to help you solve a problem that you did not see a solution to. And it was. And they did.Sort of.

The other person is just a tool. A sounding board if you will. They aren't really necessary in this process, as long as you are willing to talk to yourself. Out loud. You don't have to do it while wearing rags and in the middle of the street. It could be a fun exercise though :)

See what most people don't realize is that they don't want advice. What they really want is to hear their own thoughts, out loud. What a person thinks may sound perfectly reasonable in ones own head, but when said out loud it suddenly becomes clear that one option is better than all the others.

Don't take this the wrong way. We do need other people in our lives and there is nothing wrong with sharing our experiences with them. And if we truly can not solve our own problems asking others for advice is a great idea. But, we seldom really need the help. Most of the time we have all the information that we need to solve nearly any problem that comes up We just need to be able to sort out our thoughts and prioritize them until the solution rises to the top of the pile of options.

Are you nuts!?

Have you ever been out and about in the world and come across a homeless person talking to him or herself, perhaps rather loudly? If you have, you probably thought that person was crazy, especially if you are in earshot of them for long enough to realize that they are actually having an argument with some other person that no one can see.

There are plenty of jokes out there about how you are crazy if you talk to yourself, or only if you listen to what you have to say or only if you talk back to yourself. But, if the homeless people that talk to themselves are crazy, then so are you and I and everyone else in this world that is old enough for conscious thought. Does that seem like an insane declaration? Maybe but let me explain why I say this.

Certain thoughts, feelings and events in our lives naturally remind us of people with whom we have associated in the past. When we think of those things our minds automatically call up those people and what they would say or think about those things.

This is a normal process and can be intentionally used to great benefit in our lives. Many inspirational and motivational speakers encourage people to find traits that they want in themselves and to think of people living or dead who have or had those traits. They then suggest that we imagine ourselves at a conference table surrounded by these people and have regular meetings in our head with these people to work as a team on solving our day to day problems and work on bigger and better goals.

The homeless person arguing out loud with a person no one can see has simply lost sight of the fact that the other voice to whom he is speaking is within his head and not real. The other likely problem is that the person he is arguing with is not a person who is or was a positive influence on his life.
Does talking to oneself still seem crazy?

Well how about this then? When you are out with a group of friends and one of them suggests going to a place where an ex of yours is known to hang out what happens? You hesitate and are probably silent for a moment or two. Why?

Because you are talking to yourself. There is a conversation going on in your head all the time. And whether you want to admit it or not, it is not a monologue. There are two or more voices in your head almost all the time. Even if they are all yours, they are separate. You think about wanting to go to that bar or club and all sorts of reasons or excuses not to go come up. And as soon as you attempt to work through any of them you begin debating with yourself about pros and cons.

A debate is not a one sided affair. If it were there would be no need for its existence. If you automatically naturally agreed with yourself, you would just do want you wanted to do all the time and there would never be a conflict. But you talk to the other you all the time, telling it what you want to do and arguing with it when it does not agree with what you want.

If talking to oneself, out loud or in ones head is normal, then I submit that the opposite must be crazy. Do not trust people that claim they never talk to themselves. They are either insane or lying.