What is right?

We talk about working together to solve problems. We say that you should work with others to create win-win situations. But how many right answers can there possibly be in a given situation? It seems that our instinct is to say that there is only one right way and the rest of the ways are wrong.

That is not usually true though. Normally there are literally thousands or more possible options in any given circumstance. We just subconsciously decide that most of them are not "real" options.What makes a potential solution good or bad depends on what criterion and limitations we put on the circumstance.

For example let's say that you decide that you have been doing way too many loads of laundry each week. One way to avoid needing to do so much laundry is simply to not wear clothing two days out of the week. This solution is possible, but probably is not feasible if you need to interact with the rest of the world during those two days. You could also decide to wear each set of clothes twice before washing them. Or perhaps you could donate or throw your clothing away after a single use so that washing it never becomes an issue. Maybe you could put more clothing in each load thus decreasing the overall amount of loads that need doing. All are possible, but for different reasons either fit your needs or do not.The circumstances surrounding the issue will usually assist you in eliminating ideas until you are down to a simple choice of A vs B.

The truth of the matter is there really are a lot of solutions. We just shoot most of them down right away. It is part of our natural decision making process that we eliminate the outlandish crazy ideas, the bad ideas and even some of the reasonably good ideas in favor of what we think the "best" idea is. This in and of itself is not so bad.

When it becomes an issue is when we are not the only person involved in a given circumstance. Often what we think is the best idea is the one that works best for us. Then what the other person thinks is the best idea is the one that works the best for them. We then each campaign for our idea and often do not understand the other person's point of view. At this point an argument normally ensues and any hope of productivity goes out the window.

Preventing this is actually pretty simple. All you need to do is this.  Before beginning the process of narrowing down what choices will or won't work and what choices are feasible vs which are just plain silly, each person should voice their concerns about the issue. Then once each person involved understands the concerns of all involved, brainstorming can occur to come up with solutions that adequately handle all the concerns and still manage to solve the problem.

Keep in mind that it helps to be flexible when possible. Others will be more willing to make agreements that are slightly less to their benefit if they see that you are willing to do the same. Sometimes a little bit of compromise in one circumstance will go a long way towards you getting exactly what you want in the next negotiation.