Impossible resolution

A lot of my time and energy get spent encouraging others, through my actions and words, both written and spoken, to work with others whenever possible.  Teamwork and cooperation are big catch-phrases for me. It is my belief that the greatest works of which mankind is capable are those that happen when we lock arms with others for a common purpose. I believe in being open and vulnerable and encourage others to do the same. I have said that the soft way is nearly always the best way but acknowledged that it does not always work.

So, you might be wondering when I think the hard way is the way to go. Most of the time if you find out what the other person is most concerned about in a given situation a way to work together can be found. Over ninety percent of the time, the calm, peaceful, resourceful, problem solving way will be successful.

Essentially, the hard way is the answer when all other possible avenues have been explored and shut down by the other party in the discussion or negotiation. Sometimes this will take many hours or even days to occur after dozens or possibly hundreds of ideas have come up and been discarded. Sometimes it will happen right away. You will begin a discussion about the issue you have and the other person may tell you in no uncertain terms that they are not willing to work with you to find a solution.

Or you may not even get to the point of a discussion. Take for example a terrorist who has decided that his way of life and mine are mutually exclusive who makes the declaration that he intends to kill all people who live my way of life. I would not attempt a conversation with such a person. Were such a person in front of me, I would deem it my right and my duty to kill him before he killed me or those I care about. Afterwards, I would greatly regret the necessity of the act, but I would not grieve for the death of his point of view.

A person who is unwilling to work with you is telling you that they have no concern whatsoever for your cares or comfort. It matters not to them how much you suffer. When the other person decides that they are unwilling to cooperate no matter what you do, that is the point where it becomes impossible to create a win-win situation. And that is when I see no problem with laying down the law and telling the other person exactly what to expect if they continue to be the source of the issue that you had been hoping to resolve.

Personally, I tend to do my best to avoid people that have that kind of behavior, but I realize it is not always possible, especially if it is a work associate. In a case like that, I would remain polite and civil but keep contact to a minimum while being extra diligent in my efforts to not let the things that person says or does be taken personally.