Tolerance and limits

One of our roommates was planning to be out tonight. It was her night to cook and she asked if I would be willing to cook for her. At first, I was thinking about saying no but did not really have a good reason. So, I agreed to play chef for the evening.

I decided that we would be having home made tacos. While at the store I got all the ingredients that we would need including something that I had been considering trying for awhile. First the meat was seasoned and cooked. Then the cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and onions were all taken care of. Finally, I got out the scotch bonnet peppers we had purchased and began to slice them as finely as I could, seeds and all.

Now it is at this point that the question of tolerance came to my mind. I knew that regardless of how hot the peppers were, that I would be comfortable just mixing them in with the meat. The one person who is not at all fond of spicy food was the one that had asked me to cook due to her intent to not be present. But I had some concerns how the other people eating would fare if I made such a choice for them. So I asked their opinions. All but one person said to make it as spicy as possible. To him I brought a tiny sliver of one of the scotch bonnets. Based on the facial expressions and coughing that ensued, I decided to put the peppers in a bowl on the side rather than mixing them in with the seasoned beef.

His reaction kind of amused me because I had just consumed about five times as much pepper as the amount I had given him and I had no ill effects whatsoever. I rather enjoyed the heated sensation going on within my mouth. It did cause me to think of how pain thresholds differ for different people though. What one person thinks is no big deal another person considers nearly unbearable.

After the food I made tonight, I have reached the conclusion that scotch bonnet peppers are the low end of what I consider to be spicy. And the heat lasts a good ten minutes or so if you do not eat or drink anything else. It was really kind of nice. For me. I can't remember anything else that I have eaten that was spicier. I think i've had jerk sauce that was close to the same. Most foods that other people think are spicy, to me they just are not. So these peppers were like a one or a two on a scale that I hope goes up to at least ten.

Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental pain, we often tell people to man up and just get over it.  We tend to have very little tolerance for what another person's tolerance levels are. But we truly have no idea what that person's level of discomfort is compared to their ability to withstand said pain. What I consider to be a two many other people might consider to be closer to a nine. And while training and discipline may be able to push those limits further back, it is not one's fault where their limits are. It is also not fair to pick on or belittle them for having those limitations. It can be okay to point out the limitations when you see them and offer advice on how to stretch those limits if the other person is interested.

Where a person is, is always the perfect place to be in order to start working towards where they want to be, assuming of course that they are not already where they want to be. And in that case it is still the perfect place for them to be.

Lack of belief system pt4

Imagine a single infinitely small dot out in the middle of space. It is just one single possibility, for example, tacos. Tacos either are or  they  are not. So tacos will connect with two other dots. One that says tacos do exist and one that says tacos do not exist. (We will ignore Schrödinger's cat for now)  If tacos exist then a whole stream of other possibilities will connect to the tacos are dot, such as people that like eating tacos, lists of what goes on tacos, pictures of tacos, and descriptions of what tacos may taste like. And each one of these possibilities will be a dot of their own and may or may not link up with a multitude of other dots. Pictures of tacos would link up to the possibility of pictures existing. And the pictures exist dot would link up to one about moving pictures. The more dots there are that link up with the one that says that particular thing is real, the more likely it is to be real.In the example above, in some small way, tacos and movies partially validate each others' existence.

In this example, every thing that might be has two possibilities connected to it. One that says it is and one that says it is not. And then there are a host of things that are connected to one or the other possibility. In that way you can and will build a malleable framework that includes everything you see, hear, say, think, feel and interact with. Over time it will likely become obvious to you which thing is more likely to be true in a given situation. The correct course of action then is to act as if that thing were true but still find ways to test it. Perhaps your logic was flawed. Maybe you did not think of enough possibilities on one side or the other for it to be truly conclusive. Or maybe there was data that you were unaware of that should have made some choices invalid.

And remember you should constantly be looking for evidence. Notice I did not say that you should look for evidence to support your beliefs. Do not jump to conclusions. A single piece of evidence does not fill in a whole puzzle. Each piece of new data either fits with your theory or it does not and when it does not it doesn't mean the piece should be discarded. It is not the data that is flawed and needs rethinking. It is the theory that should change.

Also if you notice above, I said you would be building a malleable structure. Unlike the belief system house, the lack of belief structure can grow infinitely in any direction. It is not limited in any way.  When a whole line of thought or reasoning proves to be unfounded all the dots connected to it can simply just disappear. They are no longer there to crowd up the framework. But they aren't gone forever.  Think of the way a lot of computer programs are made nowadays. The options that you can choose are easy to see and the ones that don't apply are often greyed out. And the choices that you make cause new options to appear or old ones to become greyed out. Only in your framework, since it's in your head,  instead of greying them out you just stop making them visible. And then when new information is entered, if necessary you can call them back at a moment's notice.

There is no foundation, no systems, no walls. Any single piece can be pulled out and replaced with any other piece. The possibilities are literally endless.