You probably like to see yourself as someone that is pretty cool and collected, someone that others can't manipulate or control. After all, you don't go out and buy everything you see in a TV commercial do you?
But let someone call your parentage into question or sling some racial slur your way and suddenly you are all over them like white on rice. Why? They are sending arrows your way hoping to cause a wound. Why let them control your actions? What another person says about you only has the power to injure you if you let it. Just ignore the intended barb and you will find that it bounces off of you. If you fight against it, it will pierce your skin and they will be successful.
Other people get off on being able to control you. It makes their day to know they got the intended reaction from you. Why give it to them? The only way a person attempting to manipulate you can control your actions is if you play along. Why give them that power over you?
By nature, I am a pretty peaceful guy. In fact, I like to think of myself as a pacifist. And in a world where the strong never preyed upon the weak, where people did not need others to defend them, I am sure I would be.
But, if someone comes after my wife or my son with the intent to cause physical harm, I will kill that person. It will be violent and chaotic and bloody And for a very long time afterwards I will carry a piece of that person around with me to show others what happened to the last guy that tried to harm my family.
So sue me. It's a button, a big flaming button ten feet wide. It's a button that others can use to control me. Push that button and I will dance like a puppet on a string. That particular stimulus will cause a very specific, very predictable response.
Anyone not intending to maim or murder my family though generally has a pretty hard time getting my goat. Is it because I am so unobservant that I don't notice others saying catty disrespectful things? Hardly. Is it because my life and way of being are so flawless that they can find nothing mean to say? Okay, I can't even say that out loud with a straight face, really, I tried.
It's because I know the truth about who and what I am. What others think or say about me does not change that in the slightest. Another person's opinion of me isn't me. Only I am me. Whether what a person says about me is kind or disrespectful, I do my best to acknowledge their opinion and then get on with my life. The negative gets ignored. The positive might cause me to smile but that's about it.
And I am no better than you are. With a little observance and some self-discipline you too can become immune to all of the verbal weapons your enemies may wield.
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