...to most people.
This does not mean that if you were to actually ask other people if they care about your wants and needs that they would say no. It simply means that others generally do not think of what you want when they make a decision.
When I am hungry, the first thought in my mind is not making sure that one of my roommates has food to eat. It is not that I don't care about whether or not they starve. It is simply that when I am hungry, the first thought on my mind is how and when I am going to solve my own issue. Often I will invite others to join me in fighting hunger, but I am solving my hunger whether they choose to do so or not.
This concept is very important in life and most people are either unaware of it or don't understand it. Other people, in general, do not care about why you do or do not want a thing, what they care about is why they do or do not want a thing.
When you want something from another person the easiest and best way to get compliance from them is by showing that person how it will benefit them.Sell them on the good it will do them and they will be with you all the way.
One sibling may want another to take them to the mall to meet up with someone for a date. If the one who wants the favor just says "hey can you take me to the mall so I can meet my date there" the other is likely to just say no. But if instead the request is more like this "hey if you take me to the mall and pick me up later i'll do all your homework for a week" then there is a compelling reason for the driver to say yes.
No matter what the request, it does not assist your cause in any way at all to show how that thing is beneficial to you. In fact, it will almost always cause trouble for you.What happens is, you describe how this thing is good for you and the other person comes up with excuses and reasons why it is not good for them. You are being selfish so why shouldn't they? If everyone on the planet were altruistic all the time then doing something new or different just because it benefited another person would be commonplace. Unfortunately, our world is not currently that way.
But, if you start out the conversation by pointing out how the other person's life will be easier or better in some way by doing the thing that you are asking, it becomes much harder for them to say no and many of those excuses magically fail to appear. Others like it when you make their lives better
for them.Another way to do the same thing is to show them how the current way does not serve them and the new way would.
So when attempting to get others to agree to a request or some new change, what you want does not matter. It is how well you cause the other person to see the way or ways in which they will benefit that really matters.
In order to be truly successful YOU have to be different. Other people don't care what you want, but the easiest way to get them to do what you want is to show them that you care what they want.
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