Every person has their own interpretation of the events that happen in life. What is excruciatingly painful for one person might be only a mildly bad thing to someone else. Each experience is our own and unique. Nobody else will ever feel exactly the same thing about the same event.
That's why it's so common to feel alone when a negative experience happens. You are alone in your own little world surrounded by pain and suffering. Nobody else is having YOUR experience. When this happens we want to shut everyone out and not let them in. We feel that nobody can help us or give us useful advice. No one can have our experience so how can they help us?
Maybe it hasn't happened to you personally. Maybe you have only seen this type of thing in the movies or in books. But, I am sure you know what I'm talking about.
They make that "mistake" of saying I know how you feel and suddenly you explode. You rail out at the other person screaming and kicking and punching, bellowing forth at the top of your lungs how there is no way they could every possible understand what you are going through.
At different points in my life, I have been both the person who was suffering and the person who was offering their condolences.When I was suffering, I was unreasonable and would not let others in. And when I was offering my assistance it was rebuffed by people acting the same way I had in the past.
I learned at some point how stupid it was to push other people away when all they wanted to do was to help me feel better. My lashing out, cursing and swearing at the people that wanted to make things better was childish and illogical.
Often, when we are in the moment, logic is not present. It is all about what is happening right at that second and how we feel about it.We can't see past that moment. But eventually that moment ends. Life goes on. You either find a way to heal, you go crazy(the dangerous kind) or you die.
I'm not fond of being dead or that other kind of crazy, so after my seriously bad moments I had to find a way to heal. I learned through experience that it doesn't matter that our experiences are different.
The bottom line is no life is without pain and suffering at some point. Just because a person has not gone through the exact same experience does not mean they have no knowledge of what it is to suffer. People that care about you are going to offer their sympathy simply because they see someone they care about in pain.
It really doesn't matter that your particular situation isn't as bad for them as it is for you. It doesn't matter if they have never been through a similar situation. They have been in pain and they see that you are in pain.
So, yeah. How could they possibly know what it is that you are going through? They don't. But they don't need to. Just accept that your friends and family, one do know what pain is like and two want to do their very best to make yours go away. Let them in. Let them assist you in starting to heal.
because the other options just aren't worth it.
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