A prejudice that I have

I have noticed within myself a certain prejudice that sometimes prevents me from fully enjoying otherwise great experiences. When I tell you what it is, you may not think it is important. But, it does have an impact on my life. When reading a book or watching a movie I strongly dislike it when that part of the story ends on a cliffhanger.

In my mind, each individual component (book or movie) should be a complete story on its own with a satisfying climax and resolution to all the important story points. I understand that due to timing constraints it is not realistic to have everything the author intends to say done in such a fashion and I do not mind that longer story arcs are broken down into smaller segments.

It just bothers me when the main focus of the story is not completed within one book or when a movie ends in the middle of a tense scene. Take the Matrix series, for example. Taken individually, each movie is great. There's plenty of eye candy everywhere, explosions and other special effects, attractive people and martial arts galore. The music is great. The plot is engaging and the philosophical aspects are just wow. But the second movie ends right in the middle of a tense scene and I hated it. All my friends love all three movies. But I just have not been able to get past the ramping up that the movie does only to end with a ...to be continued.

When the second movie came out, I knew it was part of a trilogy. I knew the whole story would not be told by the end of the second movie. But, a part of me always expects to have a complete tale told in each movie and to have all the movies tie together to tell a bigger complete story altogether.

Now in contrast let's look at the Lord of the Rings movies. Each one has all of the same things that make the Matrix series great. They have dazzling special effects,gorgeous scenery, attractive charismatic characters, great plot and music. Each series tells two totally different stories, but the formula for their success is very similar. There is a ...to be continued in the Lord of the Rings as well. But it is right after a major battle and there is a natural breaking point where there is nothing "important" going on.

When I was a teenager I had a habit of going to the library and checking out two or three dozen sword and sorcery novels at a time. Many of them were books that were part of a series. Sometimes I ended up reading them out of order because I was unable to find book one or book three. I disliked not knowing what was going on because important elements to understanding what was going on in the book I was reading were in a previous book. I think this is where my idea that a single book or movie should be a complete story and that further books in the series should just be a continuation of said story. I have almost always been dissatisfied when a story is not self contained so to speak. 

One problem that I have with looking at things this way, is that expecting things to be a specific way is another way of saying that you assume they will be that way. One of the main rules that I run my life by is to not make assumptions. Invariably, once one makes assumptions and begins acting on them negative things follow.

The other problem with seeing things this way is that there is a preconceived notion that is stealing my enjoyment of otherwise great content.

It is my intention to enjoy every movie I watch and every book I read. If I am not going to enjoy a movie or book, then the time, energy and money that went into making that viewing or reading happen are all wasted. I do not enjoy wasting my time. So I will instead put energy into removing this prejudice as it does not serve me in any useful fashion.

Mind blowing statistic

Holy f*****g s**t !!! Pardon my french, but I just read a statistic, in an article online, that pretty much blew my mind. I mean at first I thought something was wrong with my eyesight and that I had perhaps misread the statistic. After a second and then a third much slower reading I realized that I had not made a mistake.

But I still did not believe my eyes. So I did some cross referencing and fact checking. And as it turns out the thing in question is actually true
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Now to back up and present some setup. In the music industry it is uncommon but not unheard of for an artist to sell a million records. When this happens they say the artist has "gone platinum" .  A great many musicians, given a few years have gone double or even triple platinum. A select few have even sold as many as a hundred million records during a lifetime of outstanding achievement, constantly touring and recording.

At an average cost to the consumer of $10 per album, after selling 100 million albums a recording artist can be said to have made a billion dollars selling records. Accomplishing this generally requires an entire generation, decades of work.

One might say, but what about movies, they often make hundreds of millions of dollars in a short period of time don't they? Well like musicians, the good ones do, but again it often takes a long time to rack up a billion dollars in movie sales. Many movies never make this much money. There are of course a couple of notable exceptions. Avatar made a billion dollars in 17 days. Avengers did it in 19.

What about video games? I am sure you are thinking, yeah right that crap my kid/brother/boyfriend plays can't make that much money can it? Believe it or not,  it's not that uncommon for a popular game to sell say two or three million copies when it first releases and  ten million copies total during its "lifetime".  At say fifty bucks a pop that's like 500 million dollars.  But still that might take as much as five or ten years to happen.

The newest offering from Rockstar Games is Grand Theft Auto V. In it's first three days it made one billion dollars in sales. No, that is not a misprint or a typo. Billion with a b. That means roughly twenty million copies sold within 72 hours of its release.

There are twenty million people in Australia. Now imagine every single man woman and child going out to the store and picking up a copy of the same game within three days of one another.

There are a little over 6 billion people on the planet. That means that one third of one percent or around one in every three hundred people on planet Earth bought a copy of GTA V within 72 hours of its release.

By the time the holiday season is over in a few months, it will surely have made even more money. The game reportedly is going to have online play and the option for tons of micro-transactions to let one use real money to buy everything from cosmetic gear to weapons, cars and other accessories.

A few online first person shooters already make hundreds of millions of dollars a year this way. As long as they are reasonable about pricing and are not obviously being too greedy, there is no reason to believe GTA V will not do the same.

Music and movies used to be where it was at as far as entertainment. But it seems neither one can really hold a candle to video games anymore.

Same work. Two perspectives

Let's have a little make believe session.  There are two scenarios that I would like you to imagine.

First, you go in to work and your boss has had all of the furniture removed from the office. He says if you would like to remain employed, you are going to be spending the next few days painting the walls, setting up bookshelves and creating new furniture.

In this second completely unrelated scenario you and your spouse are going to be having a baby soon. You decide that you will be painting the walls, setting up bookshelves and creating new furniture for the baby's room.

Which one of these two sets of tasks do you think you are more likely to give your very best focus and attention? Which one will you truly enjoy doing? Which one will give you the most satisfaction once complete?

Unless you are really abnormal the answer to all of the above questions is the second scenario. But why? The same work is being done in both circumstances. The same things are required of you.

One might say the first scenario is displeasing because it is a job you are expected to do or because you have no choice. The truth is you do have a choice, but since you decide that you want to keep your job you are being "forced" into the situation. When this happens resentment often sets in.

The other is more acceptable because it is your idea and not something someone else is telling you to do. But the real answer is that the second scenario is a labor of love. It is something that you truly want to do for this new person that is coming into your life soon.

Because of this, you will take great care to make every detail as perfect as it can possibly be. You will put every ounce of care and craftsmanship into the work that you are capable of doing. And you will most likely enjoy every minute spent on these tasks, possibly singing while you work or daydreaming about the time that you and your family will spend in the room when it is done.

Conversely, the work that you do for your boss will be adequate to get the job done and probably enough to keep your position, but the work will not make you happy and neither will the results.

I'd like to go back to the "but why?" question above. Every single circumstance in your life can be a labor of love. There is no reason to ever have the typical viewpoint expressed in the "work" scenario. The only good reason to ever do anything in life is because you want the result of that thing either for yourself or for someone else that you love.

Do not view the hours spent working for your boss as slaving away to make someone else rich. Look at it as what is required in order to support yourself and your family. And then rejoice that you are able to spend that time five days a week making it possible.

The work is the same. It is the point of view that is different. Who decides your point of view? You do. Happy people are more productive people as well as better problem solvers. So, if you are going to spend the same 40 hours working either way, why not enjoy it?

What is "the right direction"

Are you heading in the right direction in your life? With all the trillions of different possibilities life has to offer, how can you tell?

Well, a good indicator is this simple test. When you get up in the morning, whatever time morning is for you, what is it like?

When you first wake up, are you cursing and swearing at the alarm clock, filled with aches and pains from the day before, still tired and not wanting to get up?Are you filled with dread for the day that you know is ahead of you?

Or, do you wake up, well rested and refreshed ready for the new day and what it has in store for you? Perhaps you are not ecstatic to find that the time to arise and face those new challenges is at hand but at the very least not grumpy and resisting them.

If the first example is kind of what your mornings are like, then something is wrong somewhere. You may be in the wrong line of work, the wrong relationship or simply suffering the consequences of having made a series of poor choices somewhere along the way.

I don't know you well enough to tell you exactly what it is that needs to change in order for you to get the train that is your life back on the tracks leading to happiness and success. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. The voyage of empowerment and self-improvement just does not work that way.
I have tried many times to just give people the answers they seek. What ends up happening is they end up not not believing I know what I am talking about, so they do not use the answer I provide. Or they attempt to implement what I say but do not really understand what it is that I say and end up making things worse than if they had not asked for my input in the first place.

What I have learned from this is that the best way to assist another person is to show them the way to find the answers for themselves. To get your life back on track you need to figure out what it is that your life would look like if it was working the way you wanted it to and then take steps to make those things happen.

Whatever job it is that you do should be something that you enjoy well enough that you would still be willing to do it even if you were not being paid to do it. Whatever relationship you are in you should be in because you want to be there, not because you are expected to be or feel obligated to be there.
Not quite sure what it is that needs to change in your life? Close your eyes and imagine that it is two years in the future. Everything in your life is exactly the way you want it to be. Your alarm clock is just about to go off. You wake up refreshed, feeling awesome and turn the alarm off just before it activates. You bounce out of bed ready to handle your day.

What time is it? Where are you? Who are you with? What does where you are look like? You head off to take a shower. After your shower you get dressed. What clothing do you put on? Are you off to the office? If so where do you work? If not what does the rest of your day look like? Hold that whole image of your life working exactly the way you want it to two years in the future. Really live in that moment. Take in that future and own it. Then look back from there to what you have today.
What is different between your future life and your current one? What changes had to be made to make that future life possible?

The answers to these questions will tell you what steps to start making today to get where you want to be in the future.

A short discussion on debate

I love a good debate.

Now I am not talking about those ridiculous shams that politicians often put on so that they can ignore the facts while slinging mud at one another. Anyone trying that on a high school debate team would get laughed off stage. Why do we put up with it from our leaders?

What I mean is a real debate, a thing where me and another person each do as much research as we can on a topic, each pick a side and discuss our points at length,verbally sparring, until one or the other concedes to the other's superior knowledge of the subject.

While debating, it never actually matters to me if I am right or wrong. Whether or not I personally believe the piece of the argument that I am upholding is not important either. Sometimes it is even more fun if I do not believe my own argument.The thrill of the game as point and counterpoint are made is all that really matters.

I will continue to present my side of the debate and to give piece after piece of evidence while doing my best to disprove whatever my opponent presents until it no longer possible for one of us.
Bringing faith or my own beliefs into the debate never does anything but put how I feel into the discussion. And once you make it personal you lose the ability to be objective. Your power for true and correct reasoning goes out the window as you struggle to find a way to make what you want to be true to be true.

Having a person disagree with you is a great tool for testing what you think about a particular topic. Without this tool you may not see simple holes in your logic. There is a saying that if you look for proof of a thing, you are sure to find it. Another way of saying this is if you want something to be true you will find a way proving to yourself that it is, whether it really is or not.

In such a circumstance your mind will automatically edit out some detail which would prove it false. You just won't see it or remember it. Whereas a person with no particular attachment to whether a thing is right or wrong will see things more clearly. They are far more likely to see what is actually there rather than what you want to believe is there.

Unfortunately, many of the debates I have been in, in my life, have been things where neither side took time to really prepare. A topic would come up and there would be disagreement over which side was right. Most of these types of debates have turned into heated arguments.

What bothers me about a lot of those discussions that I have been involved in is what happens when it is obvious that the other person is extremely passionate about the topic we are discussing. I have asked simple questions designed to shed a bit more light on what it is that they believe. I have done so in a quiet calm, non patronizing, non threatening tone of voice and quite often they have gotten angry at me.

My intention has been to go from wherever the conversation started, gradually, to the base tenets of their belief on the matter, to get a complete picture of things if you will. Getting a clear look at the whole picture matters to me, because it helps me to understand what the person believes, how and why they believe it and whether or not that belief will work for me.

I find myself capable of putting aside my beliefs and making myself a completely blank slate with no preconceived notions at all. Once this has been accomplished I implore the other person to fully explain their point of view to me. To fill in the canvas so to speak.

But somehow during my line of questioning, the other party often decides that I am attacking them, somehow attempting to tear them down for their beliefs rather than merely attempting to get a better understanding of those beliefs.

It is at this point that the debate(argument) ends and nobody wins.

Are you a good debater? Do you often get angry at the person presenting a differing point of view? How successful are you in separating how you feel about a thing from what you think about that thing?

Is money evil? Or are you?

After yesterday's words you might think that I feel as many do, that "money is the root of all evil". But that is not at all true. Let us say that I have a good understanding of and a healthy respect for money, even though it often seems like the source a great many bad things.  It is not the money itself which is evil.

Money is a tool that can be used to accomplish a great many things. Like other tools the danger comes from how it is used and the intent of the user. For example, fire is a tool which can be used to take raw ingredients and turn them into tasty food. It can also be used to boil water thus killing harmful bacteria and making otherwise dangerous water safe to drink. Fire can be used in both constructive and destructive ways. It can even be used to both heal and to kill. But fire is not evil. And neither is money.

Even a tool whose purpose is only violence such as a sword is not evil, for it can be wielded by one with the purest heart and good intentions who only wishes to protect others. Conversely it can be wielded for terrible dark purposes. But it is not the tool that is bad it is the person wielding it.

The purpose of money is so that we might have a standard system for valuing things. At first glance it may be rather difficult to find an acceptable comparable value between say a pickup truck and a pig, between an acre of land and a pair of rubber gloves, or between a hot meal and the cost of adding another bedroom to your home. By comparing everything to a single standard and placing a value on it based upon that standard it becomes a simple matter to see how any one item stacks up against any other.

As the saying goes, money may not be able to buy happiness. But, if you are willing to be honest, you kind of have to admit that money has created more happiness than poverty has. After all, it is through money that you are able to buy and do many of the things that are essential to living a happy successful life.

But, just as an obsession with fire is an unhealthy and dangerous thing, so is an obsession with money. There is nothing wrong with wanting great amounts of money so that you can properly take care of those that you love and to enjoy nice things. It is when one dreams of having money just for the power that it can bring and to use that power to rule over others that one gets brought over to the dark side.

Why do you desire money? What drives you to obtain it? And when you have it what do you do with it or what do you intend to do with it?

Poverty is not divine will...

...It is man's will.

Many people believe that it is divine will that they are poor. I think that belief is ridiculous and here is why.

If the biblical account of the Garden of Eden is any indication, divine will is that man be surrounded by all manner of tasty foods, beautiful sights and sounds, have friendly companionship with the animals and overall massively enjoy life.

There was an abundance of nearly everything man could ever want. It is man taking advantage of free will that screwed that up, not divinity. God had a plan of never ending health, wealth and happiness for mankind. Man made a different choice.

How did we get from there to where we are today with most of the world living in poverty? The simple answer is we chose it.

Even after being kicked out of Eden, Adam had at his disposal nearly limitless resources in terms of all the things needed to make one able to survive in comfort. With only a few people on the planet one could just go where they wanted and take what they needed.

As the populace in a given area began to grow though, it became necessary for rules to be put in place because of man's fear of there not being enough of a given thing. There has always been enough of whatever is needed produced by our planet to keep every single person upon it richly fed and clothed, but fear of going without has caused some to be greedy and many to die as a direct result. Lines were drawn to decide what territory belonged to whom. If a thing was inside your territory it was your right to do as you pleased with it. If it was inside the territory of someone else you had to trade for it.

Money did not really exist yet so the barter system was used. And originally, the beauty of the system was that trading was done on a need for need basis. If I needed wool but had an extra cow, and you needed a cow but had extra wool we could easily trade whatever quantities or portions of each thing as we could agree upon. Nobody needed to starve because people would willingly trade whatever extra they had for the surpluses of another, without needing to worry about whether they were getting a "good" deal.

When currency was finally invented and came into widespread use it really screwed this up. Each thing got assigned a specific value and if you did not have enough wool then nobody would trade you a cow. People who had a surplus of one good but not enough to equal the value of the other had to go without. The  "good" deal became the only one most people were willing to make.

With the invention of money, many communities where all had been fairly equal for generations rapidly became places where there were distinct splits in class based on wealth.

But even so, it is and has always been possible for a man to rise up out of one class and become part of another. We are where we are at any specific moment in our life based on our choices and those whom we let make decisions for us. Depending on environment and circumstance it may be more or less difficult, but any man who decides to can make new choices and with hard work, discipline and the right attitude can go from being one of the poorest men ever to live to one of the richest. If you look at the world around you there are tens of thousands of examples of this happening all the time.

So if you are the one who decides whether you will be wealthy or poor, what do you decide?

Today we went bowling

My son's third birthday (or 3th as the misprint on the cake said) was this past Wednesday. Today we went out and celebrated his birthday by taking him bowling for the first time.

He has a little plastic bowling ball and pin set at home. So he was already familiar with the basic mechanics. And I think he has seen a bowling alley before on Handy Manny or one of the other kid shows he watches. I figured it would be a cute thing that he would get a kick out of. Though I have to admit, I was a little worried that he might not be big enough to roll the ball hard enough to actually knock over any pins when the ball finally finished its long slow crawl down to the end of the lane.

Have you ever had a moment that was just so awesome and so super-charged with positive emotion that you wanted to crystallize it, to somehow freeze that moment in time, so that you could carry it around with you all the time? Well I got nearly an hour of that today.

It is generally accepted by those that know me well that I am an accomplished wordsmith. But in this case, I must admit, I find myself without a way to adequately express what I observed happening with him. I was totally unprepared for the level of enthusiasm that he showed for pretty much the whole hour that we were bowling. He didn't really understand a lot of the finer points like whose turn was when or which ball he was supposed to use. And he really didn't care.

By the metrics used by any serious bowler he did terrible. We all did. But every time he went up and took his turn to roll the ball down the lane, it was like every good thing in the world imaginable was happening all at once. If he knocked down even one pin he was jumping up and down, clapping, shouting hooray and giving high fives. He was even celebrating when he missed completely.

The expressions on his face and the waves of positive energy literally pouring off of him were simply mind blowing. I truly wish I could have bottled the experience to savor and  sample at various times in the future. Alas, the memory will have to do.

Taking him bowling was completely a flippant decision on my part. I am tremendously glad that we ended up doing it and was a bit sad when it was time to go. We will definitely be bowling more in the future.

Just think. Bowling is a simple maybe even boring thing to most people. But, through the eyes of my son and in fact anyone for anyone who has never done it before and is truly open to new experiences, it is a wild new adventure where anything can happen.

Yes, I am aware that eventually the "new" will wear off, but I can't wait to find something else new that he flips out over in a similar way. I love being a dad.

Life is a great ccg

I like to play collectible card games which are more commonly called ccg's. Typically you and an opponent each have a deck of cards and a life total. The object is usually to whittle your opponent's life down to 0 before he does the same to you.

The reason I like ccg's so much is that there are a lot correlations between concepts in the game and concepts in real life. I like to pretend that my opponent IS life and that his deck is all the challenges that life likes to throw my way and that my cards are the solutions to those challenges.

Assuming you each have access to all of the cards, a reasonable amount of intelligence, and the same level of skill at the game,  you each choose how difficult of an opponent you are for the other.

When building a deck you should have a theme in mind that takes advantage of the strengths of the cards that you are playing and minimizes the weakness. Synergy and efficiency are key. The more ways in which you can use each card and the more situations and combinations in which you can make it useful the better.

You should plan things in your life the same way. Form strategies that take advantage of your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. Always look for new and better ways to use the tools that you have at your command.

If every play you make is as efficient as possible and your opponent does not play efficiently you will certainly win. But in order for this to happen, both in life and in a ccg you need be constantly experimenting and tweaking your strategy.

There are times in a ccg where it is better to play a creature or a spell before an attack and times where it is better to do so afterwards. Knowing when to do which can often mean the difference between victory and defeat.  Everyday life is the same way. There are times where it is good to implement new thoughts and ideas immediately and times where it is a good idea to wait till after a specific thing happens.

But you need to constantly be experimenting, tweaking things and taking risks. For one, you do not learn anything new by following the same strategy all the time. The same strategy will not work all the time even against the same opponent. Also, it is important to experience failure because winning does not suggest a need for improvement nor does it give you ides for how to improve. Losing does. If you are willing to look, losing shows you exactly where you are weak. Then you can determine what new ideas to try instead.

Over time you will learn what plays to make when and what plays not to make. You will learn what opponents are weak to which strategies. Eventually,  you can get good enough that your opponent can be looking down his nose at you from across the table, certain of your defeat, and with a simple smile you can throw down your ace in the hole and snatch victory from him.

When this happens consistently you have mastered the game, be it ccg or life.

Are you committed?

There is a difference between being committed to doing a thing and making a commitment to doing a thing.  Do you know what it is?

Making a commitment is simply agreeing to do something. It is a verbal contract  between you and another person. You are telling them that a certain thing will occur, usually by a certain point. It is specific and measurable and definitely has the potential to be a powerful tool for mature responsible adults to use in getting things done.

Yet, if you are not committed to this agreement it is worthless and will most likely be broken. Perhaps you just agreed to make the other person happy and you really have no or very little interest in seeing this thing through. Maybe some challenge or obstacle will come up and you will decide that this thing is too hard or not worth the effort. Or you will be too busy or may be you will use the excuse of not feeling well to avoid keeping your word.

Being committed to a thing, on the other hand, is like a thing of beauty. It turns you into an unstoppable force of nature as far as that thing is concerned. When you are fully committed to something, no matter what it is, there is an almost palpable energy about you. There is never any doubt that you will do what it is that you say you will. You know inside yourself that no shit no kidding, no matter what, you will accomplish this goal. Nothing will get in your way. Obstacles and challenges have no chance of stopping or even really slowing you down. And anything that does get in your way you will steam roll right through until success is yours.

A commitment that you are truly committed to becomes a thing that you will accomplish or die trying. It is also the only commitment truly worth making. It is a guarantee. Everything else is just a maybe.

How does one become committed to a a goal rather than just making a commitment to see that goal happen? Just like every other important powerful thing that a person does or can do, it comes down to simply making a choice to do so.

You can agree to take the trash out after dinner or you can commit to it. When you agree, other things might get in your way. You might fall asleep at your chair or you might get caught up in watching the television and forget. When you commit nothing is getting in your way. After dinner you will get up and take out the trash.

You can make a commitment to stop being late to work or you can be committed to being on time from this day forward.  If you just make the commitment, you may oversleep or leave later than you are supposed to. If you are committed to being on time you will take whatever steps are necessary to get there on time.

You can promise yourself that you will start taking steps to improve your life or you can actually commit to doing so.

What are you worth?

"A human being can not consistently out perform his or her own self image" - Maxwell Maltz. 

I was listening to a motivational speech today and someone mentioned the above quote from Psycho-Cybernetics a book by Dr. Maltz. It surprised me just a little when I heard it because I had just finished listening to that part of his audio book with that quote in it, earlier in the day. And every time someone seemingly randomly quotes something I am currently reading or listening to it lends it more value and credibility because that other person valued it enough to make it a part of their point of view.

What Dr. Maltz is saying with this quote is that it is possible for a person to excel occasionally if they have a low self image, but not consistently. Conversely, at the same time, he is also saying that it is possible for a person with a high self image to do badly, but not consistently.

The speaker that I was listening to today was using this quote to directly relate self worth with yearly income. A person who believes that he is only worth thirty thousand dollars a year cannot consistently make more than that amount. He or she will sabotage themselves and make bad choices such that they will get fired, demoted or in some other way prevented from making more than they believe the are worth.

Such people make excuses and tell themselves half truths as excuses to make it okay to be poor and living in poverty.  They say things like we may be poor but at least we make an honest living or at least we are  following God's will, implying that those with money are liars and cheats that are evil and against God. What ridiculous ideas!

A person who wants to make two hundred thousand dollars a year but believes they are only worth half of that will not make more than 100k a year without changing their self image. How does one do this?

It is remarkably easy to do, so much so that you may not believe it. First you set some time aside and have a conversation with yourself where you ask yourself what you believe you are worth. Then compare the amount you think you are worth, with the amount that you would like to make per year.
Then ask yourself why you are not worth the amount that you would like to be making instead. This may take some time as you may have a lot of reasons. There may be a lot of things that make you think you are not worth it. Make a list of all these reasons. Write the whole thing down, every last excuse or thing that makes you feel that you are worth less than you want to be.

Then burn it to ashes.

Because it is all nonsense. Every man woman and child on this Earth is a priceless precious artifact worth whatever ridiculously high sum they can imagine. Whatever amazing thing you can dream up is but a small fraction of your true worth. Remain humble, but know with perfect clarity that you are worthy of whatever you set your mind to and never again let a question of your worth stand in the way of what you truly want.

A little time

A good friend of mine likes to ask people what they would wish for if they could have as much as they wanted of any one thing. Like if a genie or a leprechaun showed up and said you could have an unlimited amount of any one thing what would you choose?

Several times my answer has been force lightning. That stuff is really useful. It easily solves a lot of very different issues and is great for getting people to comply with your wants and desires.

A lot of people choose money or whatever their favorite food is. Some choose drugs or alcohol. Others choose great cars or even better an unlimited amount of awesome friends and companions.

Some of those are really great answers. But my friend's answer is the best I have ever heard to that question. Invariably, he says, if he could ask for and receive an unlimited amount of any one thing, he would choose time.

With an unlimited amount of time, aside from never needing to worry about dying, you could get as much as you want of any of those other things. You could. But would you?

We have a tendency to say that our lives are very busy and that we simply do not have time to do more than we already do. And for some of us that is true. There are people that work two or three jobs and spend 18 hours a day working and six or less sleeping and preparing to go back to work.  They literally do nothing but eat, sleep and work.

Those people can honestly say that they do not have enough time to do maintenance on their house, wash their cars, start a hobby or take some action to help themselves grow as a person such as learning a new language or refining a skill set that they already have.

All the rest of us are simply lying, to ourselves and to others. We have plenty of time. We just manage it poorly. Many of us adults sleep ten to twelve hours a day when we do not need to. Six to eight is sufficient. How much time each day do you spend texting people or playing with your cellphone? 
How many hours a day do you spend watching television, when you could be doing something constructive? The average American spends more than 34 hours a week watching television. That is nearly five hours a day, everyday. And then there is the bane and probable cause of the collapse of modern society, video games. How much of your day disappears to video games?

Many of those things are things that take your whole focus and where you can not reasonably do anything else. But what about when you are in your car going to or from work? Or out jogging or at the gym. Many people listen to music while doing these things.

If you wanted to, you could spend this time with an mp3 player  learning a new language, listening to motivational speeches, or just doing something to expand your horizons and open your mind to new possibilities, while doing whatever it is that you are already doing.

Don't get me wrong. I sleep, spend time with my cell phone and love to play video games too. But I set time aside to do other things that need to be done as well. It is about being efficient with your time. If you can do more than one thing at once and pay sufficient attention to each thing, do so.  I promise if you make an effort to find more time in your day and are completely honest with yourself, you will find that there are ways you can be more efficient and get more done in less time.

Courage and fire

You awake from a deep slumber not sure at first what woke you. You take a few deep breaths and begin coughing as you realize the air is hot and filled with thick ash and smoke. Your eyes pop open with alarm as you realize the building is on fire and the heat and the crackling of bright orange flames all around is most likely what woke you.

You are still not fully awake yet and you begin to panic. There are no windows in your bedroom. There are flames all around you and the door is extremely hot to the touch. You are trapped inside. You are paralyzed with a mind numbing fear that death is just around the corner. You can't breath and all around you the flames are getting closer, seemingly reaching out towards you, licking at your flesh. You begin to regret all the thing you meant to do but never got a chance to. And then...

Just when all hope is lost, a superhero wearing a flame retardant suit, including a helmet and breathing mask, bursts through the door with axe in hand. The firefighter sees you cowering there on the floor and quickly rescues you, carrying you outside to safety.

I really do see firefighters as super heroes because I think it takes a massive amount of courage to run into a burning building when everyone else is doing their best to get out of it. They face head on what other people run away from.

But what is courage? Is it idiocy? Or lunacy? Is it lack of fear? Or lack of knowledge of the gravity of a given situation? It is none of the above. Courage is seeing a dangerous situation and intentionally putting yourself in harms way because it is the only way to prevent greater harm to yourself or others. Courage is knowing exactly how dangerous a thing is and what is at stake and doing it anyways because it must be done.

A courageous person is one who knows that what he does is dangerous but feels that he has to do it because he is the only one who can or will and he feels that that thing must be done. Courage is not immunity to fear. It is doing what must be done in spite of fear.

Firefighters go into burning buildings because they know there are people inside who will die if they do not.They know full well that they themselves could die in the process.They take every precaution to lessen the chance of that happening, but it can and still does happen from time to time.

Police officers and soldiers get to deal with some of the same really difficult circumstances. The enemy often has better equipment, more training and other tactical advantages. Yet they push aside their fear of death and through courage and discipline win a victory for the forces of "good". Often these victories are won in the face of likely or even certain death.

Firemen, police officers,soldiers, to me all these men and women are heroes but in different ways. Each job takes courage as each has its own serious hazards. I have not chosen either of these three jobs as my profession. But I wonder how I would do if I did. I like to think of myself as courageous as I am sure you do too.

But how would we hold up under fire, literally? Could I be one of these courageous super heroes? Could you?

Simple programming for your mind

My writing from yesterday got me thinking about the awesome power of the mind.

When a mind is closed no new opportunities can arrive. Solutions to problems can not be thought up and nor can they be enacted. When you are close minded thoughts that are not in agreement with yours are automatically wrong. All barriers and obstacles are completely impenetrable. No new growth is possible.

When a mind is open opportunities arrive all the time. Solutions to problems show up by the truckload. When you are open minded thoughts that are not in agreement with yours open the door to new ways of thinking, allowing for new thoughts and beliefs. With an open mind you have the power and the inclination to test what others say and if they be true to add them to your store of knowledge. And even if they are not true they may lead you to the discovery of new truths. Challenges that were previously impossible shrink or even disappear completely before the open mind.

Also, take a few moments and think on this. Close minded people are automatically more negative people with less happiness in their lives. Open minded people are automatically more positive people with more happiness in their lives.  Close-mindedness goes hand in hand with negativity, anger, depression, sorrow,worry and a life filled with difficult problems. Conversely open-mindedness brings with it positivity, joy, happiness,freedom from worry and doubt and the knowledge that no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it. Think about all the people you know whose lives are working for them. They are open minded people are they not? Now think of all the others you know. They are generally close minded people aren't they?

If you had the choice, which would you choose to be? Open minded no doubt. Well, that's the beauty of it. You do have a choice. Having an open or a closed mind is a conscious choice that you can and should make if you want the power to make your life work for you. And it does not matter how long you have been choosing close-mindedness. You can make a new choice at any time.

Open your mind to new possibilities, to opportunities, to solutions, to new better ways of doing things. Give up the old ways that are not working for you. Each and every time new data is presented to you, give it a chance. Stop automatically discarding it. Accept what other say as possible, even if it directly conflicts with what you already believe. Take the time to test out the new data using all of the tools at your disposal. Search for evidence that it is true, more strongly than you search for falsehood.
But seek both. For a person can always find ways to disprove a theory, even one that is true.

It may turn out that in the search for truth, your original belief was wrong. The new data may be wrong. Or both. But, new growth and opportunities to better yourself will automatically occur as a result, if you search for the truth with an open mind.

The claw

Have you ever been to an arcade or a restaurant that had one of those claw and crane skill machine games? If you haven't it is basically a big box with glass sides that is filled with some sort of small prizes, things like stuffed animals or cheap watches.

What happens is you put money into the machine and then you aim the claw part directly over the prize that you want and press the button that makes the claw drop down  and close over your intended prize. And then if you are really really really lucky when the claw comes back up it picks up the prize and drops it into the part of the machine that makes it accessible to you.

I bring this up because I was watching Toy Story with my son today, for what feels like the seven hundred and ninety millionth time, and there is a sequence in the movie where Buzz and Woody end up inside one of those machines. The prizes inside that machine are all identical three eyed aliens that have absolutely no idea what the outside world is like. They have taken a look at what is around them and with their limited knowledge have made up a whole bunch of things that they think to be true.

In their eyes the claw is effectively a god that they show a great deal of admiration for. After all, the claw chooses who stays inside and who gets to leave, or so they believe. They also believe that once one is chosen it is their destiny to leave the machine and move on to a better place.

The one alien that they show getting chosen in the movie ends up as a chew toy for a rather vicious dog. So much for the whole better place thing. And since he never gets to go back to the alien collective they still believe their pretty lie.

What does this have to do with real life? Well, many people when left with a limited amount of information do the same thing. They come up with a story that they want to be true. And because there is no immediate way of showing that story to be false they decide it is true. But it isn't. And once people make these decisions they base other often important life decisions on top of these things, creating a completely skewed vision of the world. Or they decide that they are willing to fight to the death to uphold their belief, even though it is false.

There is nothing wrong with coming up with theories to explain the world around you. The danger comes when we just decide that we know those theories to be true without any evidence. Things like, the world is flat or the sun is the center of the universe. We make these decisions and then close our minds to any other possibility being true.

What we ought to instead do, is come up with the best theory we can with all of the available data and continually test to see if it is true. We should tell ourselves that we want it to be true, but that it might not be. We can believe it is true as long as we are open to the idea of changing our belief once sufficient evidence is provided.

The most precious gift

Life, every single moment of it, is a precious gift that can be taken away at any time. Just being alive is an awesome privilege, as is every single thing we have the opportunity to do. We live in a dangerous deadly world, where through accident, disease, natural causes or even malice any person's life can end at any time. Yet most people treat every day life as if it is no big deal. They take it for granted.

You might say that life is not as dangerous as it used to be. We no longer live outside amongst the wild animals that would do us harm. And in our homes we are safe from many of the environmental dangers that are out there. Yet for each thing that we have used technology to save us from we have built two or more things just as bad if not worse than what threatened us in the first place.

Let's just take the invention of 2,000 pound wheeled metal boxes that routinely travel in excess of sixty miles an hour and are frequently operated by people of questionable mental health. In the United States alone there are hundreds of millions of these potentially lethal weapons. And cars go through brick walls fairly easily. What in the animal kingdom compares with that?

The ability to smell sewage is a privilege. Because if you did not have it you would not have the ability to smell things you loved such as foods you enjoy, perfumes, or the scent of your mate.

The ability to see horrible nightmarish things is a gift,  because it is tied to the ability to be able to see beautiful wondrous things.

The ability to feel pain, and harsh abrasives is a privilege because without it you would not be able to feel pleasure or softness.

Being able to hear the terrible cacophony of sound that your neighbor's call music is a gift because without that gift you could not hear the sound of your children's laughter or the voices of your friends.

Tasting foods you do not like is a privilege because if you could not then you would also not be able to enjoy the foods that you do.

Many people hate their jobs. But the opportunity to work, the opportunity to support yourself and those you love is also a gift, whether you like your job or not.

Every single thing that you perceive with your senses is both a gift and a privilege, as is every single thing that you do or can do. Even the things that you do not like. It is a privilege simply that you can do them. Because when you die it is all over. At that point you no longer have the faculties required to do or enjoy any good thing.

Also consider this, there are a great number of handicapped people in this world that would gladly trade places with you. Many of the things that you complain about being forced to do, they would quite happily jump at the opportunity to be able to do.

So the next time you go to complain about something that you "have" to do, think instead of how grateful you should be that you can do that thing.

What if both sides are wrong?

There are people that get fired up about their beliefs. Their passion, excitement and enthusiasm often pull other people magnetically, almost magically, into their cause. Now, to be fair, the performance of most great works requires this kind of energy and exuberance to get past all the naysayers and obstacles that come up along the way.

But not every great idea is right and some causes are things that people really should think about rather than just allowing themselves to be swept up by the whirlwind as it passes them by.

Following this are three examples of things where both sides might be wrong and where people are often willing to fight to the death to defend their beliefs. If it turns out that you are in the wrong, yet you give your life for the thing you believed in, would that not be a waste of your life?

First let's take a look at war. Nearly every war that has ever happened has occurred as a result of two opposing ideas. Each side believes that their side is right and will commit every resource at their disposal to the fight for their belief. Although it is often not spoken out loud both sides truly believe that if they are right and their cause is just, then their side will win. But the fact of the matter is that a superior force with better equipment and strategies, with the more favorable ground will almost always win, regardless of who is actually right.

Also, I wonder if it is possible for the same god to be on both sides of a war. There have been a great number of battles where the religious leaders on both sides, praying to the same god, have "blessed" their sides weapons and efforts.

Then there is a matter which has caused a great deal of controversy in schools across America. Evolution vs Creation. Creationists believe in a single omnipresent being that created all things as the reason for our universe and everything in it. More specifically they believe that this Earth and all the life upon it exist as a direct result of this being's hand.

Evolutionists believe that a certain extremely unlikely set of circumstances occurred at one point that brought about the first life on our planet and that through the process of evolution all life that we have today has come into being.

There isn't enough evidence to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt either theory. This is the only planet that we know of for sure that definitely does have life upon it. So in that, the creationists may be right. And there is actually evidence that as natural environments change, within a certain number of generations, the wildlife in those environments begin to change. There is evidence that evolution is happening in the world today.

What if they are both wrong and both right? Maybe God did create the world and then automated the process of it updating to include new forms as necessary through evolution.

And last but not least we have the big business owner and the average laborer. Each sees things through his own bottom line, the almighty dollar. Each one believes the other to be his nemesis and grudgingly gives the least he possibly can to get the most out of the other. The business man sees that the more he spends on his labor force the less profits he gets to keep for himself. The common laborer does the least amount of work that he can get away with and still get paid.

Both points of view are wrong because they are entirely selfish and offer no reason for the other person to act differently than they are. Would you as a laborer be more likely to give more and better effort to an employer who saw his people as the important driving force behind his profits, especially if that employer paid you more than the average amount for the work you do? And would you not, as a business owner, be more inclined to do and give more for your employees if they put in their best performance at all times and showed that they appreciated the opportunity that you provided for them?

Interrogatives ftw

My son and I were playing in the living room around 2:30 this afternoon when one of the other denizens of the house came out from her room. It was obvious from her appearance that she had just woken up. I offered a bright and cheerful "Good morning!". She mumbled something noncommital, got a drink from the kitchen and went back into the other room. My statement was intended to acknowledge her presence, greet her, indicate that it was nice to see her, share how my day was going to far, wish positive things upon her, and to just be friendly in general.

After she had gone I started to think about the interaction. I am very direct and tend to say exactly what I mean. It is possible,though, that she thought I was being sarcastic. After all it was no longer morning. And if it was no longer morning perhaps the well wishing was not sincere either. Another thought that crossed my mind, was to wonder if she thought I was judging her in some way for only now starting her day when everyone else had already been up for hours.

Sometimes small events like this end up causing enormous problems down the road because you take one thing away from the conversation and the other person takes something completely different out of it. And one or both of you make decisions and choices based on your side of the story that cause you to make things even worse without even really trying to.

I literally only said two words to her and they were meant with the utmost of sincerity and positivity. But if for some reason she took what I said in some other way, then that oh so brief conversation could be the starting point of a downward spiral. The negative implications that she may have gotten from it would then come out in something that she says or does to or about me. And not understanding why she suddenly starts to act in an unfriendly or unfair way towards me, I am likely to react in kind.

But this can easily be prevented and in fact entirely eliminated by making one simple change to your general way of being. If a person is saying something to you or about you that you think is negative or paints you in a negative light, ask questions designed to clarify things. Be sure that someone is being sarcastic before taking what they say as sarcastic. If you feel that you are being judged because of the way someone says something, ask directly if the statement is a judgement or simply a statement. Do not accuse the other person of attacking you or making you look bad, but do not shy away from asking if that is what they are doing either.

We like to think that we know what is going on in each others heads. But, the fact remains that each person is a whole universe unto themselves and no one knows what goes on in the mind of another unless we ask.

Why do you do what you do?

In theater, good performance is about more than just memorizing a bunch of words vocal tones and and facial expressions. Someone who is just regurgitating the lines that they have memorized and going through the general motions of their character is not going to do well in that role and will have a tough time obtaining new roles in the future.

In order to be a successful actor, on or off screen, you need to really get into the role of your character. In order to do that, you first need to figure out what it is that drives the character. What motivates them to do whatever it is that they do? Once you understand that it becomes easy to assume the role of that person.

The reason for this is because once you know what drives a person you can know with a fair degree of accuracy how they will feel and act when certain circumstances occur. Then as an actor you say and do the things that they would do. Even if you are restricted to specific lines due to the nature of the script you will know what the proper tone, inflection and pitch for your voice are based on how the character feels due to circumstance.

If knowing what drives a person is important in acting it is even more so in business. If you have no idea what motivates a person to buy a product, then you have no way of knowing whether or not they will buy a product that you have to offer. Assuming you want to be successful in business, you need to know your target audience. You need to ask yourself who is your target audience? And what do they tend to buy and why?

You can often increase sales dramatically just by putting your product in front of a more favorable audience. For example a lemonade stand is likely to make more money outside on a hot day near a sporting event than if it were inside on a cold day at a grocery store. Many of the same people might be in both locations. But they are driven more by their thirst on a hot sunny day outside than they would be on a cold day indoors.

But even more importantly, in order to be a successful businessperson, you need to know what drives you. You need to know why you are in business in the first place. Is this a temporary or one time thing? Are you just selling a bunch of stuff that you had in your garage? Are you attempting to replace your full time job with this business?

IF it is a long term business plan that you have there are more things to consider. Are you in love with money and willing to do whatever is necessary to make as much as possible in as short a time as you can? Are you driven by the need to take care of your family? Are you looking to revolutionize an industry in some way? Is it your goal to create some form of world change? Do you just want to make an extra couple of hundred dollars a month. Is it your goal to make hundreds of thousands or more a year?

Some of these things are very different from each other and methods that work in one will spell disaster for others. Part of the success plan for your business needs to be a vision statement of some kind that clearly spells out what drives you and why this business is a good fit for that motivation. If you are starting a business be sure to include this. If you are already in a business and do not have such a thing already, create it. Now. If you do not know why you are doing what you are doing, you are just going through the motions. Other people can sense this and are automatically repulsed by it. And, it becomes much easier to successfully meet your goals once you know why you do what you do.

Progress reports

Remember report card day when you were growing up?

Maybe you were one of those kids who made straight A's in school and knew you had nothing to worry about when it came time to show the folks how you were doing in class. Maybe you made a few A's and the rest B's and C's. Or perhaps you were one of those kids that dreaded report card day because you knew that's when the folks would get to find out just exactly how bad you were doing.

Regardless of which of the above mentioned three groups you were in, whether it was fear or anticipation, there was still always an air of nervous excitement when the grades were being handed out. Even if you knew exactly what grade you had in every category, somehow it was just never real until you saw the letters on that piece of paper spelling it all out in no uncertain terms.

The kids with the good grades would usually brag to their friends and be happy to show their parents. While the ones that did not do so well often avoided the subject when asked and did everything possible to keep their parents from finding out.

Children of course do not really understand the point of report cards. The idea is to give the teachers, parents and yes even the students an idea of how the student is doing in relation to the other students and to compare how they are doing now from how they were doing at previous set points. When things are going fine no alteration needs to occur. But when the student is failing, these progress reports allow all involved to become aware that the child is having problems in one or more areas and needs more focus in those areas in order to achieve success.

It seems that many parents do not really get the point either. The fear of failure or of doing bad that causes some children to want to hide their report cards from their parents often comes as a result of punishment that many parents mete out when their children do not do as well as they think they should. If parents did not act this way, if instead they asked questions, offered constructive criticism and worked with their children to help them get better grades, then the children would be more likely to share the news with their parents, whether it be good or bad.

But progress reports don't end when we leave school do they? They exist in most office places and other jobs. There may be weekly progress reports on specific projects. There are quarterly statements to let shareholders and company managers know the general status of how things are going within the company. And of course there are yearly reviews where it is decided how each individual employee is doing and whether or not to give them a raise or terminate their employment.

There are also many other progress reports in life that you may not be aware of. Whether you realize it or not many of your friends and loved ones evaluate where you are in your life as opposed to where you were say a year or maybe even five years ago. Other people make value judgements about you based on where you are as compared to where they think you should be. Sometimes they will modify their relationships with you as a result of these evaluations.

Just as you really couldn't get away from your report cards as a child you can not escape these progress reports either. Many of the business and relationship progress reports are filled with things that you are never made aware of. As a result you never know how you are doing in the eyes of others and can never use this information for personal growth.

However, if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you can and should at regular intervals compare how you are doing currently with the goals that you have set for yourself. In the last six months what steps have you taken for self empowerment and improvement? Out of the main categories of life, spiritual,mental, physical, emotional and material, what changes have occurred and how do they fit in with your long term goals? Have you reached any of your goals,short or long term? If so which ones and what new goals do you have now? If not, why not? And what do you intend to do about that?

Who is your hero?

In movies and comic books the best most relatable heroes are always the ones with real people problems. Many of these characters are dealing with guilt over past actions or feelings of revenge or depression over loss of loved ones.We find some difficulty or hardship that the character has that we also have, so we connect with them on a deep personal level.

But the opposite is also true. We see positive qualities in these very same heroes that we either have or want in our own lives. These qualities cause our like of the hero to resonate even more strongly. For me personally, my favorite comic book character of all time, even though he technically is not really a hero, is Wolverine.

Though many of the things in his past are a lot more over the top than mine, we both have a somewhat checkered past. I was constantly making the wrong choices when I was younger. I was in and out of trouble with the law quite a few times. We have both done things that we are not proud of but would not undo those things due to valuable lessons we learned as a result of those choices.

Wolverine is practically invincible. I mean he is flesh and blood and takes damage just like you and me, but he recovers very rapidly. But more importantly, he can endure practically any physical and mental hardship. He has a nearly indomitable will that allows him to soldier on when many others would simply give up and die. He walks willingly into "impossible" circumstances because something needs to be done and if he doesn't do it, it isn't going to happen. He never really complains. When things are not going the way he wants them to he does something to change it.

I naturally have a lot of the same likes and dislikes as he does because I think in a lot of the same ways that he does. I like Jean Grey. I dislike Scott Summers just like he does. I really can't get behind the cigar habit, but just about everything else I agree with. He is a lone wolf that craves the company of others but they need to be either innocents or people that are completely self honest.

Wolverine is a man's man. He drinks but not to excess, swears when it's appropriate, and fights for what he believes in. He isn't perfect and doesn't claim to be. He admits his flaws when called on them and does his best to protect the people he cares about.

But, he isn't really a "good" guy. He does not look for recognition or fame. He just fights the bad guys and does whatever he has to in order to survive. There are probably much better role models but he is the one I connect the most with.

There are so many completely varying points of view on life by so many different heroes. There is bound to be at least one that fits your experiences, habits and general paradigm. Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Hulk, Thor, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Black Widow, and Ironman are just a few examples of the more popular heroes. Which iconic fictional character or characters most represent your ideals?

Sauce day

I woke up today and decided that I was going to go out and get the supplies to make tomato sauce. Tomorrow night, for dinner, we are having home made marinara sauce, angel hair pasta, meat balls, garlic bread and Italian sausage.

I haven't made this particular meal in a couple of years and around here it's somewhat legendary. It is a fan favorite amongst all who have ever tried it. And I personally love it. But it takes me eighteen hours to three days to make, depending on whether or not I start out with fresh tomatoes instead of canned. So, I almost never go through the effort.

What is funny about that is I am always saying I am gonna make it again soon. And I have tried to talk myself into it several times over the last few months. Not today though. I woke up and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going shopping and that once I got the supplies, I was setting to work making this awesome food. It kind of a amazes me how this sudden desire came out of the clear blue and I am still wondering about it.

Why now? Why today? What makes it any better or different than any other time? As far as I can tell, there is no real rhyme or reason to it. The closest thing that I can guess is that something in my subconscious just slipped into place today when I woke up and I realized there was no reason not to do this thing that I am always saying that I want to enjoy and share with others again.

I find myself wondering how many other similar things there are in my life. How many times have you found yourself saying that you would like to do a thing and in fact you will...soon...

...And then found yourself months later still saying that thing and not having done it? I am not talking about things that you are prevented from doing by lack of funds or some other circumstance that actually stops you. This particular example is kind of a silly thing. But there really could be things that you want or need to change in your life that would massively improve it. I mean how many things can you think of that there really is no good reason for you not to do yet you still do not do them? How much better would your life be if you just woke up and decided to do those things?

You may have noticed that I do this a lot. A thing will happen to me and then I will look for examples of it in other places in my life. The reason for this is that many areas of our life are just mirrors of each other and things that show up in one aspect often show up in many if not every other aspect. And whenever possible I reflect on new information and do my best to incorporate that information into as many areas of my life as possible. That way each single thing can be used to its utmost efficiency.

I challenge you to do the same and see what kind of positive change it brings you.

What's your price?

An average looking man walks up to a rather attractive woman and asks her if she would sleep with him for ten million dollars. She smiles brightly and says "yes, of course". He then takes ten dollars out of his wallet, hands it to her and says "how about for ten dollars?" With a shocked look on her face she says "what kind of woman do you think I am?" He replies, "we've already established that. Now we're just negotiating the price."

It's kind of a funny example. But it is something to think about. In this particular example one person is asking another to do something that they probably would not do just because the first person asked them to. So he mentions a ridiculous sum of money as a bribe. Without even thinking about it, she says yes. She has literally indicated that her services can easily be bought and that ten million dollars is more than enough.Then he offers practically nothing as motivation and she gets offended. But what if he had offered ten thousand instead of ten? And then if she said yes to ten thousand maybe she would also say yes to one thousand. There is a point where she would have hesitated between yes and no and then if he offered just a little more it would again be back to a firm yes.

This example is about sex for money. But it really could be about any service that a person can offer in exchange for anything the person might want in exchange. There is very little that a person will not do if provided the right kind and amount of motivation. It is what every interaction where one person gets something from another is about.

Jobs are all about people trading time for money. An employer will have a hard time filling a position that pays $7.50 per hour if all of the people that apply for the position believe that the work being done is worth $20 per hour or more. Conversely, people will line up around the block to apply for a job which pays $20 per hour if only $7.50 per hour worth of work is required.

It isn't always about money though. When friends or family ask you to do things for them, they might attempt to get you to agree by offering to take you out to dinner afterwards or offering some other service to you in exchange. Or they might just ask the favor and  offer nothing in exchange. The strength of the relationship you have with them then plays a big part in whether you agree to their terms or you deny their request.

For every single thing that a person can ask of you, there is a price in your head for which you will do that thing. It may be money. It may be material goods. It may just be some other service that you want in exchange. It may be a reasonable sum. It may be something outlandish or ridiculous. But, it does exist. And if someone else knows your price they can get you to do what they want.  Or vice versa if you know theirs.

Sometimes a person will come right out and tell you the exact measure that it will take to get them to do what you want. Other times you can haggle with them until you find an agreeable amount. And often the best way to do that is to offer something like the opening example and see what they say or do.

Current opportunity

Have you ever noticed that opportunity seems to present itself more often when you don't really seem to need it? If you already have a job, job offers may come pouring in. Or if you are married or in a serious relationship other people seem more interested in being in relationships with you.

Yet if you are single, sometimes it seems like no matter how much energy you put in, you just do not seem to get anywhere. And when you are unemployed everyone seems to look the other way when they see you coming.  These examples are not absolutes of course, or no one who is unemployed would ever get a new job and no one who is single would ever start a new relationship. But it does seem easier if you already have a job or a relationship to find a new one.

Why is this? Well let's take a look. A person who has a job is obviously employable. They must have certain desirable traits and qualifications that someone at least wants or they would not have gotten the job. The same is true of someone already in a relationship.

There is a kind of energy put off by someone in a relationship or in a job that a single or unemployed person does not have. There is an aura of confidence that others find attractive. You have credibility. People believe in you and are automatically drawn in.

So let's say you have a job and are in a relationship. What then? Take advantage of that aura of attraction and credibility to get more out of life. I am not saying you need to start a new job or cheat on your significant other. But you can use that energy to help you create new platonic relationships or strengthen old ones. And you can also find ways to incorporate the skills you already use in your daily work to come up with some business ideas that you can do alongside your current job.

Most people are waiting for life to bring them something new in order to make improvements to their life.But life isn't going to just bring you everything you desire. To get what you want out of life you are going to need to take certain steps to make it happen.  And a good first step for that would be for you to look everyday for new opportunities presented by the things you already have.

What do you do for a living? What skills have you developed as a result? How could those skills be applied in new and different ways to your benefit? What things have you learned from the relationships you have had in your life? How big is the network of people that you know through the people you associate with on a regular basis,  your family and friends or those of your significant other? What new skills and opportunities might come from that network?

Illogical logic

Archimedes, Alexander the Great, Jesus Christ, Socrates and Akhenaten were all famous men of their time. Other than their fame they all share one very specific trait. They have all passed on. They died.
The first toothbrushes were made of twigs with frayed ends around 3000 B.C. . Toothpaste, on the other hand, first came into popular usage around the early ninth century. Perhaps their lives could have been saved if only they had used toothpaste in brushing their teeth.

Ridiculous you say? How is that? Julia Roberts brushes her teeth. So do Oprah, Alice Cooper and Busta Rhymes. They are all famous people and are all still alive. That proves that toothpaste saves lives doesn't it?

People that brush their teeth with toothpaste are alive. Dead people are not alive. Dead people do not brush their teeth with toothpaste. Therefore not brushing your teeth with toothpaste kills you.
Or how about this one. All men are intelligent and articulate. All women are not men. Therefore all women are not intelligent and articulate.

They are both logical fallacies. They start at one logical point and from there attempt to pigeonhole you into automatically accepting some other logical point as true. Each one leaves out crucial information that could automatically disprove the statements being made.For example, there are plenty of people that have brushed their teeth with toothpaste every day of their lives from childhood onward who have still ended up dying.

The second example is even worse because it states a falsehood in the first sentence. Not all men are both intelligent and articulate. Some are one. Some are the other. Some have neither trait. It falsely states that all members of category A share specific traits. Then it gets even worse by going on to say that since the members of category B are not members of category A, none of them have have the two specific traits that all members of category A share. The problem here is that category A has been defined and category B has simply been called not A. There is no frame of reference for what traits the members of category B do actually have. So no fair comparison can really be made between the two.

We as people tend to try and generalize groups of data for faster easier sorting and storage. But quite often when we do so we  remove some key details that are necessary to keep the information accurate. We want to categorize and compartmentalize everything. But it really doesn't work. To avoid this, whenever possible, do your best to remember things exactly as they are instead of boiling things down to a least common denominator and remembering that.
 
With very few exceptions, this being one of them, all generalizations are false. It is unfair to say that all black people act in a specific undesirable way. Just as it is unfair to say that all white people act in a specific desirable way. All Muslims follow their religion to the letter is just as false as all Christians fail to follow their religion properly. It is just as wrong to say all rich people are jerks as it is to say all poor people are nice.

Also, we often accept certain things as fact or assume them to be without testing especially when the data comes from a source that we instinctively trust, like a parent, close friend, co-worker or sibling. Then we take that untested data and make decisions and choices that lead us to other decisions and choices and suddenly we wonder why nothing seems to be working properly.

Example, at one point we had a roommate that was unhappy with his living conditions and was considering moving out. Another person in the house said they thought he was planning on leaving in October which was about two weeks away, at the time. Concerned about losing the income from the first roommate we immediately set about replacing him and within a couple of days we had found a replacement and were asking him how soon he would have his things moved out.

As it turns out he had not even decided for sure that he was really go to move out. And even if he had decided that he wanted to move out the earliest he would have been comfortable going was November.

For awhile there was a little bad blood on all sides as a result. Without really intending to, we kind of forced him to move out. The whole thing could have been resolved with a lot less mess if we had just gone to him in the first place when it was mentioned that someone had heard he was thinking of moving out. We could have talked to him and cleared things up very quickly instead of ending up with the mess we did.

Take everything with a grain of salt. Accept that what other people tell you is what they believe to be true. Search for evidence to both support and destroy their claims. Then decide what to believe.