To start off today, I would like to paint you a picture and then have you stop and think about the scene before moving on. I am going to describe a hypothetical situation. Respond how you would if this situation were actually happening to you. Don't try to change any of the story by saying it's improbable or would never happen. For argument's sake assume that it does and is happening exactly the way I describe.
You start out like all of us, going it alone in life. One day you meet someone and fall madly in love. You decide that the two of you are going to spend the rest of your lives together. But something happens and your partner comes down with a rare non-communicable disease. It is not contagious, but it is fatal. They have only a few weeks left to live.
There is a cure for this disease, but it is more money than you will ever be able to amass through your own personal efforts at your job,through your savings or begging, borrowing and stealing. But speaking of stealing, the cure is kept in a place that you know about, not too far from where you live. There is no alarm or security of any kind. You think you could go in at night and get enough medicine to cure your loved one.
Please, stop reading for a few minutes. Take some time and think about it. What do you do?
The point of this exercise is to do kind of a psychological self examination. How you answer says a lot about how you make choices, what you value, your overall ethical system and what is really most important to you. For most people the decision would be very simple to make even though many of those people would not make the same choices.
See, on the one hand you have the general code of ethics that most of us share. We all are taught at a young age that stealing is wrong and so it is. But we are also taught that love is valuable and important. This example asks us to make a choice between the two of them. Do you follow the law and watch the person you care about die? Or do you break the law and save their life? Do you sit there and do nothing and hope that some other solution will come along? Do you look for an alternate solution of your own and wait until the very last possible moment before choosing between these two things?
There are several different "levels" of ethics, the highest of which
cannot be achieved until we have reached a certain point in our view of
the world and our overall level of maturity. Many people, regardless of age, never reach this top level of ethics. I won't tell you whether I have or not, I will only share with you my thoughts on this exercise.
It would take me very little time to make my decision. For me, the question isn't about law or love. It is about life. I believe that life is the most important most precious thing there is. And I would break any law or make any number of people upset in order to save a life, especially the life of someone close to me. So, I would break into the location where the medicine is stored and steal it. Out of respect for other people, I would do as little damage to the facility and personnel as possible, but if I had to disarm or knock one or more people unconscious in order to meet my goal, I would not hesitate to do so.
After the fact, once my loved one was out of danger, then I would worry about the consequences. See, I understand and accept that I would have to do some things that I see as wrong in order to save a life. But I am not blind to the reality that not everyone would agree with my choice. I may end up going to jail or having to live with the ill will of others for what I decided to do. And I am okay with that. While my loved one was in danger though, all other bets are off.
What would you do? Would you steal the cure and save their life? Why or why not?
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Complete fail
So, there was this plan for today and due to something that I failed to do, that thing cannot happen today.
See, for the past few years we have been pretty negligent in the overall upkeep of our home. Internally we have done most of the day to day cleaning one would expect. But the long term type of stuff has been put off inside the house and except for cutting the grass shortly before the city decides to fine us, most of the outside of our home has been ignored.
As part of our plan to live in excellence and improve every area of our lives we decided that this could not continue. We got together, sat down and wrote up a list of the thing that needed doing, room by room inside and area by area on the outside of the house. The list is several pages long.
One of the items on that list was pressure cleaning the outside of our house. Due to vegetation that had grown up right next to the house in a bunch of areas and deteriorating lawn furniture the bottom two feet or so of most of the front of our house is a greenish black color, which by the way, doesn't go very well with the exterior paint color of our home. The plants and furniture are gone but the greenish black color remains.
What was supposed to happen today is, I was supposed to get up early go out to Home Depot, rent a pressure cleaner and then another roommate, one who has some experience in such matters, was going to use said device to pressure clean the outside of our house. What actually happened is, I failed to set my alarm and woke up way too late to get the required tool to clean our house today.
If I were still the same person I was twenty years ago, or if I were like many people still are today, I would be beating myself up over this mistake. There would be stress, angst and frustration over how I screwed up such a simple task. My self worth would take a hit. I would probably avoid my roommate so I could avoid dealing with or in fact even admitting that I had broken an agreement. My day would effectively be ruined due to a simple dumb mistake. I would carry around all that negative energy without even realizing it and it would color other interactions that I have with people for at least today and maybe even longer.
But none of that would be useful or productive and it would only serve to lower the quality of my life. And THAT is unacceptable. So unless you want many of those same things in your life, I suggest and request for your own sake that you learn from my example. Instead of beating yourself up over every single thing that you do wrong or that you forget to do, do what I do, and what I did in this case.
There was a light tapping at my door. I had been asleep. It instantly woke me. People don't normally knock on my bedroom door. So, I spent a moment going over all the things that were supposed to happen today. When I recalled the pressure cleaning that was supposed to happen today a loud expletive escaped my lips and I instantly knew what my course of action was going to be.
I put some clothing on and went out to talk to my roommate. I immediately admitted my broken agreement and took full responsibility for it. I apologized for the mistake and announced my intent to recommit. We renegotiated the plan to be exactly the same, just tomorrow instead of today.
I acknowledged the broken agreement, apologized for the inconvenience and set an expectation for what my future intentions regarding the agreement are. As long as the other party isn't determined to hold a grudge, this makes even complete failures turn into a win-win situation for all involved. And isn't that what we all really want? To be happy and relaxed and enjoy life.
See, for the past few years we have been pretty negligent in the overall upkeep of our home. Internally we have done most of the day to day cleaning one would expect. But the long term type of stuff has been put off inside the house and except for cutting the grass shortly before the city decides to fine us, most of the outside of our home has been ignored.
As part of our plan to live in excellence and improve every area of our lives we decided that this could not continue. We got together, sat down and wrote up a list of the thing that needed doing, room by room inside and area by area on the outside of the house. The list is several pages long.
One of the items on that list was pressure cleaning the outside of our house. Due to vegetation that had grown up right next to the house in a bunch of areas and deteriorating lawn furniture the bottom two feet or so of most of the front of our house is a greenish black color, which by the way, doesn't go very well with the exterior paint color of our home. The plants and furniture are gone but the greenish black color remains.
What was supposed to happen today is, I was supposed to get up early go out to Home Depot, rent a pressure cleaner and then another roommate, one who has some experience in such matters, was going to use said device to pressure clean the outside of our house. What actually happened is, I failed to set my alarm and woke up way too late to get the required tool to clean our house today.
If I were still the same person I was twenty years ago, or if I were like many people still are today, I would be beating myself up over this mistake. There would be stress, angst and frustration over how I screwed up such a simple task. My self worth would take a hit. I would probably avoid my roommate so I could avoid dealing with or in fact even admitting that I had broken an agreement. My day would effectively be ruined due to a simple dumb mistake. I would carry around all that negative energy without even realizing it and it would color other interactions that I have with people for at least today and maybe even longer.
But none of that would be useful or productive and it would only serve to lower the quality of my life. And THAT is unacceptable. So unless you want many of those same things in your life, I suggest and request for your own sake that you learn from my example. Instead of beating yourself up over every single thing that you do wrong or that you forget to do, do what I do, and what I did in this case.
There was a light tapping at my door. I had been asleep. It instantly woke me. People don't normally knock on my bedroom door. So, I spent a moment going over all the things that were supposed to happen today. When I recalled the pressure cleaning that was supposed to happen today a loud expletive escaped my lips and I instantly knew what my course of action was going to be.
I put some clothing on and went out to talk to my roommate. I immediately admitted my broken agreement and took full responsibility for it. I apologized for the mistake and announced my intent to recommit. We renegotiated the plan to be exactly the same, just tomorrow instead of today.
I acknowledged the broken agreement, apologized for the inconvenience and set an expectation for what my future intentions regarding the agreement are. As long as the other party isn't determined to hold a grudge, this makes even complete failures turn into a win-win situation for all involved. And isn't that what we all really want? To be happy and relaxed and enjoy life.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Why should you do the right thing?
Life is full of choices. Everyday we are constantly bombarded from every angle with different options of what to do in literally hundreds of different circumstances. There's all these different things that we could do, what we might do, what we should or shouldn't do. It is often hard to make the right choice.
As adults we know the difference between right and wrong. And eventually, in most cases, we sift through the vast ream of possibility and come up with the right choice. It isn't always easy though to make ourselves do the right thing. It shouldn't matter though, right is right, right? Not exactly. Motivation matters also. Don't believe me? Let's see what I can do about that.
There used to be a person living here that very strongly wanted to do what was right. And if that's all that mattered things would have been just peachy. Unfortunately, she had a habit of badgering other people into admitting that she did the right thing. She wanted others to pat her on the back or give her a cookie, figuratively speaking of course. She needed to be seen doing the right thing. For her it was all about recognition and the reward for doing good. More time and energy got spent on making sure other people recognized whatever good deed got done than went into doing the thing in the first place. And it quite often overshadowed and cheapened the whole thing. It felt like she was trying to buy karma.
Then there's other people that do the right thing and often don't say a word to anyone about it. But anyone paying any real attention can tell they don't care about right or wrong. They are just doing the right thing because, this time, it happens to benefit them. It either has the most positive impact on their lives or the least negative. These opportunists would be just as happy doing the wrong thing if there was more profit in it.
Some people do the right thing specifically to avoid some negative consequence. Don't cheat on your taxes or the IRS will get you. Don't speed or you will get a ticket. Don't cheat on your spouse because it will end in divorce. Oh, plus, adultery is a sin, and I hear there is a pretty heavy consequence sin as well. Anyone in this category had better keep their motivations to themselves, because nobody has any respect for people that only do the right thing to avoid punishment. We don't trust them.
So if all these things are not good reasons to do the right thing, what is then? Why should you do the right thing? What should your motivation be? We all have our own value judgement systems. But even so.You know what is right and what is wrong according to what you believe. And when you make the wrong choice you know it is wrong and whether you want to admit it or not, on some level you beat yourself up over it, and you lose some of your personal power.
But, when you make the right choice, you KNOW that you have done something good and pure. It empowers you and frees you of some of the bad you may have done in the past. Attaching any motivation to this at all weakens the effect. Put no thought into the consequences, good or bad, or worry over the trials and tribulations.
Do the right thing simply because it is the right thing.
As adults we know the difference between right and wrong. And eventually, in most cases, we sift through the vast ream of possibility and come up with the right choice. It isn't always easy though to make ourselves do the right thing. It shouldn't matter though, right is right, right? Not exactly. Motivation matters also. Don't believe me? Let's see what I can do about that.
There used to be a person living here that very strongly wanted to do what was right. And if that's all that mattered things would have been just peachy. Unfortunately, she had a habit of badgering other people into admitting that she did the right thing. She wanted others to pat her on the back or give her a cookie, figuratively speaking of course. She needed to be seen doing the right thing. For her it was all about recognition and the reward for doing good. More time and energy got spent on making sure other people recognized whatever good deed got done than went into doing the thing in the first place. And it quite often overshadowed and cheapened the whole thing. It felt like she was trying to buy karma.
Then there's other people that do the right thing and often don't say a word to anyone about it. But anyone paying any real attention can tell they don't care about right or wrong. They are just doing the right thing because, this time, it happens to benefit them. It either has the most positive impact on their lives or the least negative. These opportunists would be just as happy doing the wrong thing if there was more profit in it.
Some people do the right thing specifically to avoid some negative consequence. Don't cheat on your taxes or the IRS will get you. Don't speed or you will get a ticket. Don't cheat on your spouse because it will end in divorce. Oh, plus, adultery is a sin, and I hear there is a pretty heavy consequence sin as well. Anyone in this category had better keep their motivations to themselves, because nobody has any respect for people that only do the right thing to avoid punishment. We don't trust them.
So if all these things are not good reasons to do the right thing, what is then? Why should you do the right thing? What should your motivation be? We all have our own value judgement systems. But even so.You know what is right and what is wrong according to what you believe. And when you make the wrong choice you know it is wrong and whether you want to admit it or not, on some level you beat yourself up over it, and you lose some of your personal power.
But, when you make the right choice, you KNOW that you have done something good and pure. It empowers you and frees you of some of the bad you may have done in the past. Attaching any motivation to this at all weakens the effect. Put no thought into the consequences, good or bad, or worry over the trials and tribulations.
Do the right thing simply because it is the right thing.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Value, the fast food lie
If one were to go to dictionary.com and look up the word value, the very first definition seems to be most fitting for the idea that most fast food places try to push into your head. The definition is: Relative worth, merit, or importance.
Now, let's take McDonald's for example. Before I start, I want to be clear, I am not picking on them in particular just using them as an example. Many fast food places have practices that are just as bad as theirs are, if not worse.
They have an Extra Value Menu. Now what this implies is that the food on their normal menu is already a great value, and the items on this menu give you even more bang for your buck. Now, relative worth kind of says that you have to be comparing this thing to something else. So how should we go about doing that?
Oh I know, there's a chicken sandwich on the extra value menu called a McChicken sandwich. Let's compare that to the premium chicken sandwich. About a decade ago McDonald's decided that they wanted to attempt to attract the demographic that included people that actually like a bit of quality in their food. Prices vary around the country but the Premium chicken sandwich comes in at around $4.50. It consists of the chicken itself grilled, or crispy, as well as lettuce, tomato and mayo served on a honey wheat bun.
As far as quality goes, the Premium chicken sandwich is not bad. In fact, after further research and thought, I'd have to say I think the premium food line at McDonald's should be mostly excluded from the negative point of view that I have about the overall value of their food. The grilled chicken for example is about what one might expect to get at any sports bar that serves grilled chicken. The tomato is thick and juicy. The lettuce on these sandwiches are fresh whole leaves and are a nice shade of green. Compared to other non-fast food restaurants that serve similar food, the price is reasonable. And it might actually be kind of healthy for you.
Now let's come back to that McChicken sandwich on the "Extra" value menu. This sandwich is $1.00. If it is just as good as the Premium chicken sandwich then it certainly would be a fantastic value for the cost. But is it? For starters there's no tomato. While I do agree, tomato is one of the most costly vegetables that goes into fast food preparation. It really only adds a couple of cents to the per sandwich cost for the restaurant. Then there is the lettuce which is shredded into little pieces and often not very fresh. The chicken, breaded only no grilled option, is much smaller and lower quality and I am not entirely sure how much of it is actually chicken. The bun is their cheapest standard bun. The only thing that is actually the same, I think, is the mayonnaise.
Getting something that is worth more or the same, for less money would be getting some value. But that isn't happening here. I don't see any "extra" value here at all. In fact what I see is far less quality, and less food for a lower cost. A policy for honesty would probably force them to change the name extra value to cheaper food that is even worse for you then the rest of our menu.
Or perhaps what they mean by value is they get more value out of the dollars that they spend to purchase the cheaper ingredients to make the cheaper food. And this is just one of the examples at one restaurant. Another common practice is to lump an entree a side item and a drink together and call it a value meal. Due to being able to do basic math, I have found that at some places, the "extra" value meal actually costs more than the items being rung up separately. At my local Taco Bell the cost of the value meal is actually the same as the individual items. In either case where is the value?
There was recently a big deal that McDonald's is now calling a hoax about their chicken nuggets being made with what is called pink slime. Basically pink slime is all the parts of the animal that didn't make it off the bone the first time through the processing plant, that are then chemically treated with ammonia to kill bacteria. The resulting paste looks kind of like strawberry ice cream. It's gross. Feel free to Google it.
Anyways. McDonald's says that using pink slime is not at all part of their process for making the chicken nuggets and that may be true. But as recently as 2011(it is currently illegal) Taco Bell, McDonald's and Burger King were all using pink slime as part of the process for making the beef products that their customers ate. They want us to believe it has to do with the fact that they want to provide higher quality products, but the change only really happened after public outcry.
It is also generally cheaper per item, to cook your own food at home than it is to go out and pick up fast food. Think about it, what does it cost you for a tomato, a head of lettuce, a pack of 8 hamburger buns, a jar of mayo and eight chicken breasts? Certainly less than the 35 bucks you'd pay for eight premium chicken sandwiches at McDonald's right?
The extra value can't really be in the speed at which they serve the food, because I have waited just as long at places like Burger King, Taco Bell and KFC as I have at other places like Chipotle, Burger-Fi or Char Hut, places that serve higher quality food for more money.
So again, where is the value? Instead of having fast-food, most of the time I'd rather either make it myself or go somewhere else, somewhere where all of the food is higher quality, even if I have to pay a little more for the privilege and wait a little longer for it to be ready.
Conclusion, fast food value is a lie. But calling it cheap low quality food doesn't sell very well.
Now, let's take McDonald's for example. Before I start, I want to be clear, I am not picking on them in particular just using them as an example. Many fast food places have practices that are just as bad as theirs are, if not worse.
They have an Extra Value Menu. Now what this implies is that the food on their normal menu is already a great value, and the items on this menu give you even more bang for your buck. Now, relative worth kind of says that you have to be comparing this thing to something else. So how should we go about doing that?
Oh I know, there's a chicken sandwich on the extra value menu called a McChicken sandwich. Let's compare that to the premium chicken sandwich. About a decade ago McDonald's decided that they wanted to attempt to attract the demographic that included people that actually like a bit of quality in their food. Prices vary around the country but the Premium chicken sandwich comes in at around $4.50. It consists of the chicken itself grilled, or crispy, as well as lettuce, tomato and mayo served on a honey wheat bun.
As far as quality goes, the Premium chicken sandwich is not bad. In fact, after further research and thought, I'd have to say I think the premium food line at McDonald's should be mostly excluded from the negative point of view that I have about the overall value of their food. The grilled chicken for example is about what one might expect to get at any sports bar that serves grilled chicken. The tomato is thick and juicy. The lettuce on these sandwiches are fresh whole leaves and are a nice shade of green. Compared to other non-fast food restaurants that serve similar food, the price is reasonable. And it might actually be kind of healthy for you.
Now let's come back to that McChicken sandwich on the "Extra" value menu. This sandwich is $1.00. If it is just as good as the Premium chicken sandwich then it certainly would be a fantastic value for the cost. But is it? For starters there's no tomato. While I do agree, tomato is one of the most costly vegetables that goes into fast food preparation. It really only adds a couple of cents to the per sandwich cost for the restaurant. Then there is the lettuce which is shredded into little pieces and often not very fresh. The chicken, breaded only no grilled option, is much smaller and lower quality and I am not entirely sure how much of it is actually chicken. The bun is their cheapest standard bun. The only thing that is actually the same, I think, is the mayonnaise.
Getting something that is worth more or the same, for less money would be getting some value. But that isn't happening here. I don't see any "extra" value here at all. In fact what I see is far less quality, and less food for a lower cost. A policy for honesty would probably force them to change the name extra value to cheaper food that is even worse for you then the rest of our menu.
Or perhaps what they mean by value is they get more value out of the dollars that they spend to purchase the cheaper ingredients to make the cheaper food. And this is just one of the examples at one restaurant. Another common practice is to lump an entree a side item and a drink together and call it a value meal. Due to being able to do basic math, I have found that at some places, the "extra" value meal actually costs more than the items being rung up separately. At my local Taco Bell the cost of the value meal is actually the same as the individual items. In either case where is the value?
There was recently a big deal that McDonald's is now calling a hoax about their chicken nuggets being made with what is called pink slime. Basically pink slime is all the parts of the animal that didn't make it off the bone the first time through the processing plant, that are then chemically treated with ammonia to kill bacteria. The resulting paste looks kind of like strawberry ice cream. It's gross. Feel free to Google it.
Anyways. McDonald's says that using pink slime is not at all part of their process for making the chicken nuggets and that may be true. But as recently as 2011(it is currently illegal) Taco Bell, McDonald's and Burger King were all using pink slime as part of the process for making the beef products that their customers ate. They want us to believe it has to do with the fact that they want to provide higher quality products, but the change only really happened after public outcry.
It is also generally cheaper per item, to cook your own food at home than it is to go out and pick up fast food. Think about it, what does it cost you for a tomato, a head of lettuce, a pack of 8 hamburger buns, a jar of mayo and eight chicken breasts? Certainly less than the 35 bucks you'd pay for eight premium chicken sandwiches at McDonald's right?
The extra value can't really be in the speed at which they serve the food, because I have waited just as long at places like Burger King, Taco Bell and KFC as I have at other places like Chipotle, Burger-Fi or Char Hut, places that serve higher quality food for more money.
So again, where is the value? Instead of having fast-food, most of the time I'd rather either make it myself or go somewhere else, somewhere where all of the food is higher quality, even if I have to pay a little more for the privilege and wait a little longer for it to be ready.
Conclusion, fast food value is a lie. But calling it cheap low quality food doesn't sell very well.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Read a book
One of the biggest obstacles to solving most of the world's problems today is ignorance. People simply don't know enough and suffer as a result. Sounds kind of crazy right? But it's true.
For example, teaching people where AIDS comes from and how it gets transmitted has been the number one factor in dropping the spread of the disease. Yes, new and better medical practices have helped, but reducing ignorance has helped more.
Another example of ignorance that is kind of funny is Gerber baby food. In some countries in Africa where the literacy rate is atrociously low they put pictures of what is inside the food containers on the labels. If you are at all familiar with Gerber baby food you know that there is a picture of a baby on every single one of their products. It took a great deal of convincing on the part of those that can read to explain to those that couldn't that it was food for babies not food made from babies.
IF you know what foods are poisonous and which ones are not you can safely feed yourself and those you care about. If you know how to defend yourself from vicious predators, both animal and human, again you can keep yourself safe. Knowledge can help us solve or eliminate most of our problems.
That's fine. But how do we obtain more knowledge? There's two main ways. The first is the harder and more dangerous of the two and that is learning through personal experience and trial and error, what works and what doesn't. The second, much easier, much safer way is to learn by reading about the experiences of others.
A person who has more words at his or her command, can more adequately express their needs and desires. And the easiest way to learn more words is to spend time every day reading. As you come in contact with more and more books you will, over time, get a better vocabulary. A great deal of how we absorb new words comes from examples of them being used in context.
See, what happens is, you read a bunch of words that you do know and then you see one or two that you don't. But based on how they are used in the sentence you can generally figure out the meaning of the ones you don't know, thus increasing your pool of knowledge.
Also, reading can be both fun and relaxing. The time you spend reading is time that you are not focused on your daily routine. It can be a short getaway from your problems.
You can't personally teach the whole world to read. And you can't protect the whole world from all the dangers that are out there. But you can increase by at least one the number of people that know enough to save themselves from all the dangers the world has to offer, just by making a habit out of reading, both for fun and to stave off ignorance. Remember, a person that doesn't read, isn't any better off than a person that can't read.
For example, teaching people where AIDS comes from and how it gets transmitted has been the number one factor in dropping the spread of the disease. Yes, new and better medical practices have helped, but reducing ignorance has helped more.
Another example of ignorance that is kind of funny is Gerber baby food. In some countries in Africa where the literacy rate is atrociously low they put pictures of what is inside the food containers on the labels. If you are at all familiar with Gerber baby food you know that there is a picture of a baby on every single one of their products. It took a great deal of convincing on the part of those that can read to explain to those that couldn't that it was food for babies not food made from babies.
IF you know what foods are poisonous and which ones are not you can safely feed yourself and those you care about. If you know how to defend yourself from vicious predators, both animal and human, again you can keep yourself safe. Knowledge can help us solve or eliminate most of our problems.
That's fine. But how do we obtain more knowledge? There's two main ways. The first is the harder and more dangerous of the two and that is learning through personal experience and trial and error, what works and what doesn't. The second, much easier, much safer way is to learn by reading about the experiences of others.
A person who has more words at his or her command, can more adequately express their needs and desires. And the easiest way to learn more words is to spend time every day reading. As you come in contact with more and more books you will, over time, get a better vocabulary. A great deal of how we absorb new words comes from examples of them being used in context.
See, what happens is, you read a bunch of words that you do know and then you see one or two that you don't. But based on how they are used in the sentence you can generally figure out the meaning of the ones you don't know, thus increasing your pool of knowledge.
Also, reading can be both fun and relaxing. The time you spend reading is time that you are not focused on your daily routine. It can be a short getaway from your problems.
You can't personally teach the whole world to read. And you can't protect the whole world from all the dangers that are out there. But you can increase by at least one the number of people that know enough to save themselves from all the dangers the world has to offer, just by making a habit out of reading, both for fun and to stave off ignorance. Remember, a person that doesn't read, isn't any better off than a person that can't read.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Physical repercussions
Are you generally a happy person? Do you spend most of your days angry for one reason or another? How is your health? Are you sick once or twice a week? Continuously? Or are you one of those people that only really gets sick once in a blue moon?
I have long believed that overall energy level and emotional output have a direct correlation with physical health and well being. Recently I came across some information that, while not directly claiming it, seems to rather strongly support that belief.
There is a researcher, Dr Masaru Emoto, who began doing some experiments back in the early '90s about emotional impact on crystalline structures in frozen water. And his discoveries are pretty amazing.
To start off, with polluted water generally does not form any crystalline structure at all when frozen and the ice generally forms random harsh patterns. Only clean pure water forms crystalline structures. That pretty much stands to reason as, in polluted water, the impurities would prevent the crystals from forming.
The amazing part is that when a group of researchers focused positive thoughts on polluted water, when frozen, it did show crystalline structure, implying that to some degree, the emotional input of the researchers did in fact purify the water. The same experimentation was done in reverse. Negative thoughts used on pure water caused the same kinds of results as simply freezing polluted water, no crystalline structure and ugly chaotic patterns.
Experiments were done with bottled water that they labeled with different phrases. The positively labeled ones froze and created beautiful crystalline patterns and the harsh and negative ones did not.
They even had groups of researchers focus on different bodies of water around the world. Even when the researchers were thousands of miles away from the water being focused on, beautiful thoughts created beautiful crystalline patterns. Ugly thoughts simply created ugly frozen water.
The same type of experimentation was done with a variety of different types of music. Bottles of water were placed between a pair of speakers while music was being played. Music that was considered harmonic and generally pleasing to the ear caused the water, when frozen to freeze into nice looking crystals. Discordant grating music created random chaotic patterns when frozen.
Although many of the experiments have not been done completely under the scientific method, with too many variables for it to be declared a real science the results are too spectacular to ignore.
The general conclusion here is that water has memory. It holds within it energy that is focused around and towards it. What does this have to do with you? Well, the human body is made up of approximately 60% water. Think about all the energy that is focused on you on a regular basis.
I for one have never been that big on the power of prayer used for healing the sick. But now, I'm having second thoughts about that. My reasoning has been that I am not sure the deity being prayed to is real. If though, the healing comes from the intent of those praying, then that really doesn't matter now does it?
And last but not least, back to the beginning. If your body retains within it the energy focused through it, then your thoughts have a direct impact on your overall level of health. Being angry, angsty and hate filled will make you sick. Being grateful, and filled with love for yourself and your fellow man will heal you and help keep you hale.
I have long believed that overall energy level and emotional output have a direct correlation with physical health and well being. Recently I came across some information that, while not directly claiming it, seems to rather strongly support that belief.
There is a researcher, Dr Masaru Emoto, who began doing some experiments back in the early '90s about emotional impact on crystalline structures in frozen water. And his discoveries are pretty amazing.
To start off, with polluted water generally does not form any crystalline structure at all when frozen and the ice generally forms random harsh patterns. Only clean pure water forms crystalline structures. That pretty much stands to reason as, in polluted water, the impurities would prevent the crystals from forming.
The amazing part is that when a group of researchers focused positive thoughts on polluted water, when frozen, it did show crystalline structure, implying that to some degree, the emotional input of the researchers did in fact purify the water. The same experimentation was done in reverse. Negative thoughts used on pure water caused the same kinds of results as simply freezing polluted water, no crystalline structure and ugly chaotic patterns.
Experiments were done with bottled water that they labeled with different phrases. The positively labeled ones froze and created beautiful crystalline patterns and the harsh and negative ones did not.
They even had groups of researchers focus on different bodies of water around the world. Even when the researchers were thousands of miles away from the water being focused on, beautiful thoughts created beautiful crystalline patterns. Ugly thoughts simply created ugly frozen water.
The same type of experimentation was done with a variety of different types of music. Bottles of water were placed between a pair of speakers while music was being played. Music that was considered harmonic and generally pleasing to the ear caused the water, when frozen to freeze into nice looking crystals. Discordant grating music created random chaotic patterns when frozen.
Although many of the experiments have not been done completely under the scientific method, with too many variables for it to be declared a real science the results are too spectacular to ignore.
The general conclusion here is that water has memory. It holds within it energy that is focused around and towards it. What does this have to do with you? Well, the human body is made up of approximately 60% water. Think about all the energy that is focused on you on a regular basis.
I for one have never been that big on the power of prayer used for healing the sick. But now, I'm having second thoughts about that. My reasoning has been that I am not sure the deity being prayed to is real. If though, the healing comes from the intent of those praying, then that really doesn't matter now does it?
And last but not least, back to the beginning. If your body retains within it the energy focused through it, then your thoughts have a direct impact on your overall level of health. Being angry, angsty and hate filled will make you sick. Being grateful, and filled with love for yourself and your fellow man will heal you and help keep you hale.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
It only takes one to change your self image pt2
Finally, he buys completely into it. Everyone he knows knows that he
is stupid and isn't shy about telling him so. He believes it so he
doesn't argue with them. He starts acting more and more stupid as time
goes on, fitting more and more into the mold.
But here's the thing. That guy that is too stupid to learn, too dumb to improve, too retarded to change, the one who has no self esteem and therefore no motivation to go out and get the things that he wants out of life, that guy, he isn't real. He is simply the product of lie after lie after lie stacked upon one original lie.
It only takes one person to start unraveling the lies, one by one, and gradually digging out the real person underneath it all. I look for truth, not evidence of one thing or another. I look for evidence of everything. I hunt for answers and discard nothing just because it doesn't make sense or agree with what I want to be true or am afraid of being true.
When I first met him, I saw many of the things that others were saying about him but something just wasn't right about what was being said. There was something off. So, I started digging. And what I found is that about normal everyday things that "everybody" knew he was pretty ignorant. His speech was not in any way at all elegant. He had few real beliefs. But the things that he did believe, he was very passionate about.
And most importantly he fought very hard and very creatively to maintain the stupid facade. It was no doubt completely subconscious the way he did it. But, it told me beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was untrue. I discovered while arguing with him about how stupid he was, that he wasn't at all stupid. He had just been trained by everyone else in his life to act that way because he and they convinced him that he was that way.
So, in my search for truth, when I started looking for evidence that he was NOT stupid, lo and behold, I found tons of it. My friend has not been well educated, primarily because nobody else believed he could be.
I have personally found if there is something that he does not understand, if I take the time to explain it to him, he learns it. He is intelligent, meaning he can take in new knowledge. He can make this new knowledge his own and although he often lacks the vocabulary to easily explain it to someone else, given time he can explain things in such a way that the other person at least gets the gist of it. Also, when we discuss issues that other friends of ours are having he often, very quickly, comes up with some extremely insightful yet simple solutions to their problems. This application of knowledge shows great wisdom as well.
In our talks he is starting to get to the point where he knows where a conversation is leading, has a good idea of what someone is going to ask him next, knows what the "acceptable" answers are and knows when his answers don't match up. In short, he is really really smart, just ignorant due to lack of proper education.
As time goes on there are more and more examples that he is not the dumb person that people have always told him he was. He is currently in school for a trade that he is pretty passionate about. And while not the highest scoring person in the class, there are plenty of people that are doing worse than him. He isn't rocket science material but in a lot of ways he really is above average.
Repairing his self image is about finding new evidence to replace the old. As they say, nature abhors a vacuum. You can't just dig up the old stuff and toss it out, because it just leaves gaping holes and then new garbage arrives to fill the space where the old garbage was. So, if you want lasting positive change you get to fill up the old toxic spaces with newer healthy things.
When possible, we, as his friends, will be showing him the examples that he is not an idiot, to reinforce the work he is doing to fix his self image. It is a process that will take time, but will lead him to a future that he will find worth living. So, it is worth doing.
How about you? What is your one? What person or event turned you from a happy, loving, carefree, child into a jaded angst ridden mess? How old were you when it happened? How long have you been living in agony? Haven't you suffered long enough. Isn't it time you found the real you hiding under the facade of lies?
But here's the thing. That guy that is too stupid to learn, too dumb to improve, too retarded to change, the one who has no self esteem and therefore no motivation to go out and get the things that he wants out of life, that guy, he isn't real. He is simply the product of lie after lie after lie stacked upon one original lie.
It only takes one person to start unraveling the lies, one by one, and gradually digging out the real person underneath it all. I look for truth, not evidence of one thing or another. I look for evidence of everything. I hunt for answers and discard nothing just because it doesn't make sense or agree with what I want to be true or am afraid of being true.
When I first met him, I saw many of the things that others were saying about him but something just wasn't right about what was being said. There was something off. So, I started digging. And what I found is that about normal everyday things that "everybody" knew he was pretty ignorant. His speech was not in any way at all elegant. He had few real beliefs. But the things that he did believe, he was very passionate about.
And most importantly he fought very hard and very creatively to maintain the stupid facade. It was no doubt completely subconscious the way he did it. But, it told me beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was untrue. I discovered while arguing with him about how stupid he was, that he wasn't at all stupid. He had just been trained by everyone else in his life to act that way because he and they convinced him that he was that way.
So, in my search for truth, when I started looking for evidence that he was NOT stupid, lo and behold, I found tons of it. My friend has not been well educated, primarily because nobody else believed he could be.
I have personally found if there is something that he does not understand, if I take the time to explain it to him, he learns it. He is intelligent, meaning he can take in new knowledge. He can make this new knowledge his own and although he often lacks the vocabulary to easily explain it to someone else, given time he can explain things in such a way that the other person at least gets the gist of it. Also, when we discuss issues that other friends of ours are having he often, very quickly, comes up with some extremely insightful yet simple solutions to their problems. This application of knowledge shows great wisdom as well.
In our talks he is starting to get to the point where he knows where a conversation is leading, has a good idea of what someone is going to ask him next, knows what the "acceptable" answers are and knows when his answers don't match up. In short, he is really really smart, just ignorant due to lack of proper education.
As time goes on there are more and more examples that he is not the dumb person that people have always told him he was. He is currently in school for a trade that he is pretty passionate about. And while not the highest scoring person in the class, there are plenty of people that are doing worse than him. He isn't rocket science material but in a lot of ways he really is above average.
Repairing his self image is about finding new evidence to replace the old. As they say, nature abhors a vacuum. You can't just dig up the old stuff and toss it out, because it just leaves gaping holes and then new garbage arrives to fill the space where the old garbage was. So, if you want lasting positive change you get to fill up the old toxic spaces with newer healthy things.
When possible, we, as his friends, will be showing him the examples that he is not an idiot, to reinforce the work he is doing to fix his self image. It is a process that will take time, but will lead him to a future that he will find worth living. So, it is worth doing.
How about you? What is your one? What person or event turned you from a happy, loving, carefree, child into a jaded angst ridden mess? How old were you when it happened? How long have you been living in agony? Haven't you suffered long enough. Isn't it time you found the real you hiding under the facade of lies?
It only takes one to change your self image pt1
Last night I had a very long conversation with a close friend of mine. We've been living in the same house for several years and I have seen him go through quite a few changes in his way of being. He has made a lot of progress towards improving his life, but most of it has come when he has been pushed to do it by others who are concerned for his well being. Not much has come from any personal motivation that he has had.
When I asked him why this was he said that he has very low motivation due to low self esteem.And that lead to further probing questions about why he had low self esteem. I asked him how long he had been dealing with this issue and the answer was a little surprising for him I think. His general belief structure up until this point had been that his life pretty much started falling apart around ten years ago.
Once he really started thinking about it he realized the self esteem issue started several years before that. See, the image that many people have of my friend is that he is a white trailer trash redneck from Texas. They think he is functionally illiterate and too stupid to ever amount to much.
And while he is white, and he is a redneck the other parts are just ridiculous. Though, when he first came to live with us it was the impression that pretty much everyone got. He was stubborn and argumentative and didn't want to be told anything by anyone. At one point, it seemed like I was the only one holding out any hope of there being something different underneath. I saw what was on the surface, but I've learned that it isn't just beauty that is skin deep.
Almost everyone has a facade that they show the world. It is made up of all the things that they want to be true, all the things that they are afraid are true and all the things that other people have told them are true about themselves. But it's all bullshit. None of it is real.
When we are open and confident and honest with ourselves we know it isn't real and we can function sanely. It's when we start to buy into the facade that we start to implode. And that's what happened to my poor friend.
Circumstance compounded circumstance to create "absolute proof" that a certain lie about my friend was true. And believing that lie was destroying my friend from the inside out. What am I talking about? How about I explain the circumstance and how he got to where he was and you can see for yourself.
At some point while he was in grade school he did badly on some test. Maybe it was early in the morning and he was tired. Maybe it was because he just didn't know the material. Or maybe he just made a lot of careless mistakes. Why it happened doesn't make a lick of difference. What other people made up about it is what ended up causing a problem. See someone said something to the effect of only a stupid person could do that poorly on such an easy test. Maybe it was a parent, maybe a teacher, or maybe one of his fellow students. He does not remember. And again who specifically started the snow ball rolling down hill doesn't matter.
The bottom line is that before this he was a normal everyday kid. He loved life and had no damaging beliefs about himself. However, from this point on things started spiraling out of control. He may have ignored the one person calling him stupid if it had stopped there. But other people started doing it, other kids that did well on the test, or at least better than him. Then it comes time for him to take some other test and he does poorly on that one too. More people make fun of him for it and he starts to feel bad about himself. Maybe he is stupid. A lot of people are starting to say it about him.
He doesn't want it to be true. He is afraid it's true. So he starts looking for evidence to support the theory that he is stupid because he has to know. And lo and behold he finds it everywhere. Plenty of other kids did fine on both tests that he did poorly on and many of them make fun of him for it. His parents start to wonder if he is stupid. More tests come along and because he is starting to buy into the theory that he is stupid, he does poorly on them as well, reinforcing the belief that he is too dumb to learn, further perpetuating the cycle each time adding more and more evidence that what he fears to be true is true.
When I asked him why this was he said that he has very low motivation due to low self esteem.And that lead to further probing questions about why he had low self esteem. I asked him how long he had been dealing with this issue and the answer was a little surprising for him I think. His general belief structure up until this point had been that his life pretty much started falling apart around ten years ago.
Once he really started thinking about it he realized the self esteem issue started several years before that. See, the image that many people have of my friend is that he is a white trailer trash redneck from Texas. They think he is functionally illiterate and too stupid to ever amount to much.
And while he is white, and he is a redneck the other parts are just ridiculous. Though, when he first came to live with us it was the impression that pretty much everyone got. He was stubborn and argumentative and didn't want to be told anything by anyone. At one point, it seemed like I was the only one holding out any hope of there being something different underneath. I saw what was on the surface, but I've learned that it isn't just beauty that is skin deep.
Almost everyone has a facade that they show the world. It is made up of all the things that they want to be true, all the things that they are afraid are true and all the things that other people have told them are true about themselves. But it's all bullshit. None of it is real.
When we are open and confident and honest with ourselves we know it isn't real and we can function sanely. It's when we start to buy into the facade that we start to implode. And that's what happened to my poor friend.
Circumstance compounded circumstance to create "absolute proof" that a certain lie about my friend was true. And believing that lie was destroying my friend from the inside out. What am I talking about? How about I explain the circumstance and how he got to where he was and you can see for yourself.
At some point while he was in grade school he did badly on some test. Maybe it was early in the morning and he was tired. Maybe it was because he just didn't know the material. Or maybe he just made a lot of careless mistakes. Why it happened doesn't make a lick of difference. What other people made up about it is what ended up causing a problem. See someone said something to the effect of only a stupid person could do that poorly on such an easy test. Maybe it was a parent, maybe a teacher, or maybe one of his fellow students. He does not remember. And again who specifically started the snow ball rolling down hill doesn't matter.
The bottom line is that before this he was a normal everyday kid. He loved life and had no damaging beliefs about himself. However, from this point on things started spiraling out of control. He may have ignored the one person calling him stupid if it had stopped there. But other people started doing it, other kids that did well on the test, or at least better than him. Then it comes time for him to take some other test and he does poorly on that one too. More people make fun of him for it and he starts to feel bad about himself. Maybe he is stupid. A lot of people are starting to say it about him.
He doesn't want it to be true. He is afraid it's true. So he starts looking for evidence to support the theory that he is stupid because he has to know. And lo and behold he finds it everywhere. Plenty of other kids did fine on both tests that he did poorly on and many of them make fun of him for it. His parents start to wonder if he is stupid. More tests come along and because he is starting to buy into the theory that he is stupid, he does poorly on them as well, reinforcing the belief that he is too dumb to learn, further perpetuating the cycle each time adding more and more evidence that what he fears to be true is true.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
The grudge
So, a friend or loved one does something you strongly disapprove of. Perhaps they lie to or cheat on you. You could decide that they have hurt you enough and you no longer want them to be around. But, you do still love the person and want them to be a part of your life.
So even though they wronged you, you decide not to break off the relationship. Instead you decide that you are going to get back at them by making life uncomfortable for them. Each time you see them or spend time with them you remind them that you are still angry or upset. You hold back favors or nice things that you would normally do for them. There. That will show them. Right?
Well, maybe. But probably not. I mean yeah, there's that feeling of righteous vindication that you may get from punishing someone that has done something wrong to you. How long does that really last though, only a few seconds right? And then afterwards where does that leave you with your loved one?
The reason you decided not to end the relationship in the first place is because you love that person and want to be around them. You enjoy each others company. How can that happen while you are busy constantly punishing them for past wrongs? You aren't showing love for them by holding a grudge. And they certainly aren't being inspired to show love for you by the repeated negative energy you send their way.
But, let's take things a step further. Remove the other person from the equation. In order to hold a grudge you have to hold on to negative energy. You have to keep it around. It may not be there every second of the day, but it will come up every time you see or think about that person. Time and energy that could be focused on happier things are wasted holding the grudge.
The thing is you can't just punish the other person without reminding yourself about the whole painful circumstance in the first place. So, for example, let's say you think about this grudge nine times per day and you see the person that you are angry at once per day. That means that at least ten times per day, you get to re-experience all of the negativity. But no matter how strongly negative your reaction is when you see the other person, the only time you can guarantee that they are thinking about the "bad" thing that they did to you is during that one time you see them during the day.
You suffer ten times, they suffer once. Who are you punishing again? Due to the fact that you have to re-experience the bad every time you interact with the other person that you are holding a grudge against, it is always, without fail, going to hurt you more to hold a grudge than it does the other person.
If you want your life to be filled with pain and suffering, well that's fine then. Hold as many grudges as you want. If you don't, there has to be a better way than either holding a grudge or just letting them walk all over you, right? There is.
First take some time to calm down and think clearly. Then have a conversation with the other person. Keep your cool and remain peaceful. Explain what the other person did to hurt you and how it made you feel. Forgive them for the pain they caused you. Inform them of this forgiveness. Then, make it clear and in no uncertain terms how future abuses of your love will be handled.
You may not have wanted to end your relationship over a single hurt that they caused you. But multiple similar hurts show that maybe they don't feel as strongly for you as you do for them. Or perhaps, depending on how exactly it is that they hurt you, police involvement may be the next step. The bottom line is that the other person needs to know you love and want them around but that you are not a doormat and that you will stand up for yourself.
Holding a grudge isn't healthy. Talking things over and working things out is. My advice is here to assist you in making your life better. I am not telling you what to do, just providing different options. As always it is your choice how you decide to handle things.
So even though they wronged you, you decide not to break off the relationship. Instead you decide that you are going to get back at them by making life uncomfortable for them. Each time you see them or spend time with them you remind them that you are still angry or upset. You hold back favors or nice things that you would normally do for them. There. That will show them. Right?
Well, maybe. But probably not. I mean yeah, there's that feeling of righteous vindication that you may get from punishing someone that has done something wrong to you. How long does that really last though, only a few seconds right? And then afterwards where does that leave you with your loved one?
The reason you decided not to end the relationship in the first place is because you love that person and want to be around them. You enjoy each others company. How can that happen while you are busy constantly punishing them for past wrongs? You aren't showing love for them by holding a grudge. And they certainly aren't being inspired to show love for you by the repeated negative energy you send their way.
But, let's take things a step further. Remove the other person from the equation. In order to hold a grudge you have to hold on to negative energy. You have to keep it around. It may not be there every second of the day, but it will come up every time you see or think about that person. Time and energy that could be focused on happier things are wasted holding the grudge.
The thing is you can't just punish the other person without reminding yourself about the whole painful circumstance in the first place. So, for example, let's say you think about this grudge nine times per day and you see the person that you are angry at once per day. That means that at least ten times per day, you get to re-experience all of the negativity. But no matter how strongly negative your reaction is when you see the other person, the only time you can guarantee that they are thinking about the "bad" thing that they did to you is during that one time you see them during the day.
You suffer ten times, they suffer once. Who are you punishing again? Due to the fact that you have to re-experience the bad every time you interact with the other person that you are holding a grudge against, it is always, without fail, going to hurt you more to hold a grudge than it does the other person.
If you want your life to be filled with pain and suffering, well that's fine then. Hold as many grudges as you want. If you don't, there has to be a better way than either holding a grudge or just letting them walk all over you, right? There is.
First take some time to calm down and think clearly. Then have a conversation with the other person. Keep your cool and remain peaceful. Explain what the other person did to hurt you and how it made you feel. Forgive them for the pain they caused you. Inform them of this forgiveness. Then, make it clear and in no uncertain terms how future abuses of your love will be handled.
You may not have wanted to end your relationship over a single hurt that they caused you. But multiple similar hurts show that maybe they don't feel as strongly for you as you do for them. Or perhaps, depending on how exactly it is that they hurt you, police involvement may be the next step. The bottom line is that the other person needs to know you love and want them around but that you are not a doormat and that you will stand up for yourself.
Holding a grudge isn't healthy. Talking things over and working things out is. My advice is here to assist you in making your life better. I am not telling you what to do, just providing different options. As always it is your choice how you decide to handle things.
The end of the tunnel. pt2
Over the last few months, I have actually been able to list all of our monthly bills, which are current monthly expenses, which are revolving credit and which are old debt. Where possible I have been getting rid of the old debt so that our overall monthly expenses go down and more money is available each month to make even more payments with.
Currently we are at the point where less than half of the money that comes in each month goes to current bills. More than half is going to old debt. The reason that I say I can see the light at the end of the tunnel is because, in the next twelve to eighteen months, all the debt that I am aware of will be gone. Then every month afterwards the extra free money, really will be free money.
After that, the plan is to get copies of credit reports, one more time, and this time eliminate every bill on them. And then...
The serious work of planning our financial future can really begin. The idea here is to take the amount needed for our monthly bills off the top, open six new bank accounts and begin splitting the left over money each month into those accounts. The accounts needed will be vacation, savings, investing, charity, blow, maintenance.
The vacation account is where money for such things as trips to Disney World will go. In the savings account we will keep money for a rainy day, extreme emergencies and future home purchases. The investing account will be for things such as stocks, bonds, forex and mutual funds. For all the world has done for us, we would like to be able to give back and that is what the charity account will be for. The maintenance account is where money will go that is earmarked for fixing things up around the house and maintaining others before they break.
The blow account will be a special account that is set aside specifically as a fun account for us. We will be diligent in making the other accounts continue to have more and more money in them each month whenever possible. This last account is our reward for being disciplined with the rest of our money. It will begin every month as close to zero as possible and it is our goal to spend every last cent in this account on ourselves. This account is designed as a celebration and enjoyment of our success. It is our alcohol fund, our extra movie fund, our splurge account.
And last but certainly not least. I am not sure if we will need to set up another account for it or if it can share resources with one of the other accounts. But we need a pool of money set aside for personal growth. This would include movies, books, seminars and workshops designed to give people more tools to empower and improve themselves and the lives of others around them. Perhaps we could just set up an account labelled other and use it for whatever miscellaneous purposes we come up with.
It has taken a little longer than the seven years we originally planned to get to this point. But, unlike the first few years, progress can actually be measured now. We are getting to where we want to be. And each day we draw closer and closer.
What does the financial plan for your life look like? Are you swimming in debt? Could you use some advice?
Currently we are at the point where less than half of the money that comes in each month goes to current bills. More than half is going to old debt. The reason that I say I can see the light at the end of the tunnel is because, in the next twelve to eighteen months, all the debt that I am aware of will be gone. Then every month afterwards the extra free money, really will be free money.
After that, the plan is to get copies of credit reports, one more time, and this time eliminate every bill on them. And then...
The serious work of planning our financial future can really begin. The idea here is to take the amount needed for our monthly bills off the top, open six new bank accounts and begin splitting the left over money each month into those accounts. The accounts needed will be vacation, savings, investing, charity, blow, maintenance.
The vacation account is where money for such things as trips to Disney World will go. In the savings account we will keep money for a rainy day, extreme emergencies and future home purchases. The investing account will be for things such as stocks, bonds, forex and mutual funds. For all the world has done for us, we would like to be able to give back and that is what the charity account will be for. The maintenance account is where money will go that is earmarked for fixing things up around the house and maintaining others before they break.
The blow account will be a special account that is set aside specifically as a fun account for us. We will be diligent in making the other accounts continue to have more and more money in them each month whenever possible. This last account is our reward for being disciplined with the rest of our money. It will begin every month as close to zero as possible and it is our goal to spend every last cent in this account on ourselves. This account is designed as a celebration and enjoyment of our success. It is our alcohol fund, our extra movie fund, our splurge account.
And last but certainly not least. I am not sure if we will need to set up another account for it or if it can share resources with one of the other accounts. But we need a pool of money set aside for personal growth. This would include movies, books, seminars and workshops designed to give people more tools to empower and improve themselves and the lives of others around them. Perhaps we could just set up an account labelled other and use it for whatever miscellaneous purposes we come up with.
It has taken a little longer than the seven years we originally planned to get to this point. But, unlike the first few years, progress can actually be measured now. We are getting to where we want to be. And each day we draw closer and closer.
What does the financial plan for your life look like? Are you swimming in debt? Could you use some advice?
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
The end of the tunnel. pt1
It has taken a long time to get here but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. What am I talking about? Well,of course, that's a bit of a story.
When our group first came together, our vision included all living together for a few years, so that we would be able to pool our finances to pay off all our debt and eventually be able to buy homes for each of us.The key part there was getting rid of our debt and having a financial plan for success. For various reasons that turned out to be a whole lot more difficult to do than it was to say.
Our initial plan was to get the best mortgage we could possibly get with our credit ratings and to start paying off debt as quickly as possible. Due to the number of people we had, a five bedroom house was the smallest size house that could reasonably accommodate us. Because of bad credit and or bad work history, the best mortgage we could get was still a terrible mortgage. We had a first and second mortgage. The first mortgage was a variable rate forty year mortgage that started at 8% and the second was a thirty year at over 10% . The plan was to make our payments on time and after two years consolidate the two terrible mortgages into one better hopefully around 4%. The idea was to work things in such a way that we would all live in the same house for seven years. During that time we would pay off all our debt and start saving money to buy more houses.
The exact time when we were eligible to refinance is when the housing crash happened and nobody anywhere would talk to us about refinancing. Around then is when the first mortgage company started changing our rates every few months and our bills started going higher and higher for no real reason. Our group went through a lot of painful change during this time. Very little was directly caused by our mortgage troubles, but all directly affected our finances.
I am the third of our financial managers. The first two were very difficult to get straight answers from about our finances. All we knew was that thousands of dollars a month were going into our group pool of money and at the end of the month we were always just above broke in our group account. There was no transparency. It was never clear whose contributions were exactly how much or how much each person was keeping for personal debts. People moved out and took their debt with them and still our bills didn't seem to go down.
When I took over the finances, at first, I didn't really have a plan. I was just so overwhelmed with attempting to keep up, that I wasn't looking far enough ahead to make a plan. I saw that we were still spending as much or more than we made a month. I realized that this pattern could not continue if we were to be successful. So, I started taking steps to reduce our monthly outlay of cash.
An opportunity came up to get rid of our 2nd mortgage for about five percent of what we owed on it. I snatched that up in a heartbeat and suddenly an extra $700 per month was available. I got a copy of everyone's credit report and made a list of who owed how much and prioritized who was getting paid and who wasn't. Basically any accounts that were still open I would pay. Any medical bills or things that were closed would wait. I looked for and found several ways that some bills could be consolidated. Some like our phone bill, I cut in half by switching companies.
When our group first came together, our vision included all living together for a few years, so that we would be able to pool our finances to pay off all our debt and eventually be able to buy homes for each of us.The key part there was getting rid of our debt and having a financial plan for success. For various reasons that turned out to be a whole lot more difficult to do than it was to say.
Our initial plan was to get the best mortgage we could possibly get with our credit ratings and to start paying off debt as quickly as possible. Due to the number of people we had, a five bedroom house was the smallest size house that could reasonably accommodate us. Because of bad credit and or bad work history, the best mortgage we could get was still a terrible mortgage. We had a first and second mortgage. The first mortgage was a variable rate forty year mortgage that started at 8% and the second was a thirty year at over 10% . The plan was to make our payments on time and after two years consolidate the two terrible mortgages into one better hopefully around 4%. The idea was to work things in such a way that we would all live in the same house for seven years. During that time we would pay off all our debt and start saving money to buy more houses.
The exact time when we were eligible to refinance is when the housing crash happened and nobody anywhere would talk to us about refinancing. Around then is when the first mortgage company started changing our rates every few months and our bills started going higher and higher for no real reason. Our group went through a lot of painful change during this time. Very little was directly caused by our mortgage troubles, but all directly affected our finances.
I am the third of our financial managers. The first two were very difficult to get straight answers from about our finances. All we knew was that thousands of dollars a month were going into our group pool of money and at the end of the month we were always just above broke in our group account. There was no transparency. It was never clear whose contributions were exactly how much or how much each person was keeping for personal debts. People moved out and took their debt with them and still our bills didn't seem to go down.
When I took over the finances, at first, I didn't really have a plan. I was just so overwhelmed with attempting to keep up, that I wasn't looking far enough ahead to make a plan. I saw that we were still spending as much or more than we made a month. I realized that this pattern could not continue if we were to be successful. So, I started taking steps to reduce our monthly outlay of cash.
An opportunity came up to get rid of our 2nd mortgage for about five percent of what we owed on it. I snatched that up in a heartbeat and suddenly an extra $700 per month was available. I got a copy of everyone's credit report and made a list of who owed how much and prioritized who was getting paid and who wasn't. Basically any accounts that were still open I would pay. Any medical bills or things that were closed would wait. I looked for and found several ways that some bills could be consolidated. Some like our phone bill, I cut in half by switching companies.
Monday, April 14, 2014
What would you do?
As part of my desire to make the world a better place I enjoy spending time finding others that are committed to the same things that I am. I love hearing and in some cases seeing their stories. Being able to imagine and sometimes actually see the impact that they have on others is pretty amazing.
Awhile back a friend sent me a link to Upworthy.com which is a website that is full of tons and tons of inspirational videos. I lost a couple of hours today going from video to video, alternatively laughing, crying and simply awed at different points, due to the many different real life stories people shared.
This one video showed how even the most open minded and fair among us still tend to be racially and even sexually prejudiced and biased. There was a young white man next to a bicycle that had been locked to a post. This man was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and wearing his ball cap backwards. He had all these different tools like a saw, and bolt cutters and things of that nature. He was very obviously attempting to cut the lock.
Dozens of people passed him and many asked if the bicycle was his. Every time someone asked he said that it was not. But hardly anybody did anything to discourage him from stealing it. He was cutting the lock off a bike in broad daylight and admitting to the theft and people were just walking on by as if nothing was wrong.
After this example another one was shown where the set up was exactly the same, except for one small detail. This man was black. He was dressed the same and had all the same tools with him. In mere minutes people were swarming around him to keep him from stealing the bicycle. Whereas before with the white man, nobody seemed to care, now nearly every person that saw what was going on wanted to put a stop to it. Several even called the police.
A third example was then shown where this time the potential thief was a young white woman. Did people ignore her criminal actions like they did with the white man? Did they attempt to stop her like they did with the black man? Nope. What happened with her was worst of all. Even when she admitted that the bike was not hers and that she was attempting to steal it, people offered to help her.
So what you say? Its just a video right? Its pretend. Yeah. Only it wasn't. As it turns out, the clip that I was watching is part of a TV show that airs on ABC called What Would You Do? And what they do on that show is get actors to go out on the street in real world settings and do things that are wrong. And then they film the reaction that the public has to these things.
In this case, in all three scenarios the thief was an actor and all the people that came along were not. All the people that interacted with the thief were normal people going about their everyday lives and their reactions to what was happening were real.
Theft isn't just wrong when black people do it. It isn't okay when white men do it or an approved action for women. It is wrong all the time. We all know that. But somehow what we logically know to be right and what we find acceptable based on circumstance seems to vary. You can say that you know how you would react to the situation if you were in it, but until you actually find yourself there you can't know for sure.
I don't know what the intended aim of the show What Would You do? is. There doesn't ever seem to be any affirmative action to follow up the things that happen. They do interview the people after they find out that they were being filmed and ask them what they were thinking while the event was happening. The people from the show never indicate whether they think that people's reactions are right or wrong. But, it could be a very powerful tool for showing people how the way we act and what we believe really aren't the same. See, before we can make any positive meaningful change in our lives we need to, we get to, find the things that don't work, the things that hurt us, that don't serve us. If you aren't aware of a particular bias you can't do anything to change it.
You can say that you believe in racial and gender equality because you want it to be true. But if you don't test it, you don't know if that is really how you feel. Are you more likely to help a young white woman than a white man? Are you more likely to trust a white man than a black man? Do you hold the door open for men and women alike?
This show gives people the opportunity to find out for themselves whether or not what they say they believe matches up with how they act in the real world.
Awhile back a friend sent me a link to Upworthy.com which is a website that is full of tons and tons of inspirational videos. I lost a couple of hours today going from video to video, alternatively laughing, crying and simply awed at different points, due to the many different real life stories people shared.
This one video showed how even the most open minded and fair among us still tend to be racially and even sexually prejudiced and biased. There was a young white man next to a bicycle that had been locked to a post. This man was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and wearing his ball cap backwards. He had all these different tools like a saw, and bolt cutters and things of that nature. He was very obviously attempting to cut the lock.
Dozens of people passed him and many asked if the bicycle was his. Every time someone asked he said that it was not. But hardly anybody did anything to discourage him from stealing it. He was cutting the lock off a bike in broad daylight and admitting to the theft and people were just walking on by as if nothing was wrong.
After this example another one was shown where the set up was exactly the same, except for one small detail. This man was black. He was dressed the same and had all the same tools with him. In mere minutes people were swarming around him to keep him from stealing the bicycle. Whereas before with the white man, nobody seemed to care, now nearly every person that saw what was going on wanted to put a stop to it. Several even called the police.
A third example was then shown where this time the potential thief was a young white woman. Did people ignore her criminal actions like they did with the white man? Did they attempt to stop her like they did with the black man? Nope. What happened with her was worst of all. Even when she admitted that the bike was not hers and that she was attempting to steal it, people offered to help her.
So what you say? Its just a video right? Its pretend. Yeah. Only it wasn't. As it turns out, the clip that I was watching is part of a TV show that airs on ABC called What Would You Do? And what they do on that show is get actors to go out on the street in real world settings and do things that are wrong. And then they film the reaction that the public has to these things.
In this case, in all three scenarios the thief was an actor and all the people that came along were not. All the people that interacted with the thief were normal people going about their everyday lives and their reactions to what was happening were real.
Theft isn't just wrong when black people do it. It isn't okay when white men do it or an approved action for women. It is wrong all the time. We all know that. But somehow what we logically know to be right and what we find acceptable based on circumstance seems to vary. You can say that you know how you would react to the situation if you were in it, but until you actually find yourself there you can't know for sure.
I don't know what the intended aim of the show What Would You do? is. There doesn't ever seem to be any affirmative action to follow up the things that happen. They do interview the people after they find out that they were being filmed and ask them what they were thinking while the event was happening. The people from the show never indicate whether they think that people's reactions are right or wrong. But, it could be a very powerful tool for showing people how the way we act and what we believe really aren't the same. See, before we can make any positive meaningful change in our lives we need to, we get to, find the things that don't work, the things that hurt us, that don't serve us. If you aren't aware of a particular bias you can't do anything to change it.
You can say that you believe in racial and gender equality because you want it to be true. But if you don't test it, you don't know if that is really how you feel. Are you more likely to help a young white woman than a white man? Are you more likely to trust a white man than a black man? Do you hold the door open for men and women alike?
This show gives people the opportunity to find out for themselves whether or not what they say they believe matches up with how they act in the real world.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
After a year
It is early Saturday morning as I write this. On Tuesday my blog will be 1 year old. Looking back over the past year I have noticed a few things. A year is a long time and a lot has happened. The general structure of my day to day life is the same but a lot of the fine details are better.
About my writing specifically, I made a commitment to make one post a day. One would think with that commitment that would mean I would have at least 360 posts by now. And I would if it weren't for a few hiccups along the way.
First and foremost I, like most people reading this, am human(I think). Sometimes I get so involved in enjoying life and living it that writing doesn't occur to me until the day is through and I am getting ready for bed. On the days where that happens I do my best to make two posts the next day.
The second thing that kind of gets my postings all out of whack is that unlike most people, I have a hard time with the 24 hour day. Unless I am wearing contacts, I tend to still be wide awake at the 16 hour mark and not looking to sleep at all. I frequently find myself awake for 24 to 36 hours in a row and then sleep for 10 to 12 hours afterwards. Including the sleep cycle, an average day for me is somewhere in the 36 to 48 hour range. I do almost always write one new article per "day". It's just that my day isn't necessarily ruled by one rising and setting of the sun.
And last but not least, for the past couple of months, I have been branching out and re-posting my older work in a few new places on the web. It has definitely been worth the effort but between re-posting the old and writing the new, sometimes it hasn't all gotten done. For the past couple of weeks, it has been pretty bad. I've only had new stuff every two or three days and that is not acceptable. As of today though, I am all caught up and plan to return to my regularly scheduled one post per day.
I must say, although I haven't talked to many of you directly, I have enjoyed the comments that you have left for me. And from time to time I do enjoy reading many of the blogs of my followers. You all have such inspiring stories and tremendous experiences. It is fun and interesting seeing life through your eyes. It has actually surprised me to see the number of other people that have already taken it upon themselves to make the world a better place, to improve life simply by living better, by making better choices and becoming better people. And for an individual life that works, but what about the rest of the world?
When I first started this, I saw myself as a lone voice in the darkness, kind of like a pioneer going out into the great unknown and blazing a trail. Now, what I see and hear is a lot of other voices singing a lot of similar tunes. Together it creates a hell of a racket but on a large scale not much gets done. A million people is a lot of people. But a million individuals is just a crowd, albeit a large one.
However, a million like minded individuals all chanting the same tune is a force to be reckoned with, a force for change. Come join my tribe. Let's work together to make the world a better place.
About my writing specifically, I made a commitment to make one post a day. One would think with that commitment that would mean I would have at least 360 posts by now. And I would if it weren't for a few hiccups along the way.
First and foremost I, like most people reading this, am human(I think). Sometimes I get so involved in enjoying life and living it that writing doesn't occur to me until the day is through and I am getting ready for bed. On the days where that happens I do my best to make two posts the next day.
The second thing that kind of gets my postings all out of whack is that unlike most people, I have a hard time with the 24 hour day. Unless I am wearing contacts, I tend to still be wide awake at the 16 hour mark and not looking to sleep at all. I frequently find myself awake for 24 to 36 hours in a row and then sleep for 10 to 12 hours afterwards. Including the sleep cycle, an average day for me is somewhere in the 36 to 48 hour range. I do almost always write one new article per "day". It's just that my day isn't necessarily ruled by one rising and setting of the sun.
And last but not least, for the past couple of months, I have been branching out and re-posting my older work in a few new places on the web. It has definitely been worth the effort but between re-posting the old and writing the new, sometimes it hasn't all gotten done. For the past couple of weeks, it has been pretty bad. I've only had new stuff every two or three days and that is not acceptable. As of today though, I am all caught up and plan to return to my regularly scheduled one post per day.
I must say, although I haven't talked to many of you directly, I have enjoyed the comments that you have left for me. And from time to time I do enjoy reading many of the blogs of my followers. You all have such inspiring stories and tremendous experiences. It is fun and interesting seeing life through your eyes. It has actually surprised me to see the number of other people that have already taken it upon themselves to make the world a better place, to improve life simply by living better, by making better choices and becoming better people. And for an individual life that works, but what about the rest of the world?
When I first started this, I saw myself as a lone voice in the darkness, kind of like a pioneer going out into the great unknown and blazing a trail. Now, what I see and hear is a lot of other voices singing a lot of similar tunes. Together it creates a hell of a racket but on a large scale not much gets done. A million people is a lot of people. But a million individuals is just a crowd, albeit a large one.
However, a million like minded individuals all chanting the same tune is a force to be reckoned with, a force for change. Come join my tribe. Let's work together to make the world a better place.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
When it comes to kindness, every little thing counts.
Today's post is a little short, but includes two links for a longer overall read.
I want to share two inspiring stories I found while browsing the internet today. Both show the power of small kindnesses. Both had me in tears by the end. You can read the first here .
Spoilers ahead.
I found myself thinking as the author did, what if he had just honked once and driven off? Or if he had refused to help her to the car? Every day there are tons of opportunities for us to make a huge impact on the lives of others around us. And sometimes in our rush to get on with our day we don't even see them.
He didn't even know this old woman and she spent hours going all around the town with the cabbie reminiscing about her life and all the things that had happened and changed over the years. Because of his kindness she was able to have a few last precious moments to savor her experiences.
The second story is about something that has happened to nearly all of us at one point or another and can be found here, for now at least. It has been misfiled under the category of funny on the website where it has been posted. I love the story though and copied it to my hard drive so I can find it, in case it disappears.
It reminds me of the song Chain of Love by Clay Walker. If you haven't heard it, please check it out. It is a country song. I generally dislike country, but this one is worth a listen.
In this second story we see that just because someone is in a bad way, it doesn't mean they can't do good for others around them. And it is humbling to see how great the attitudes are of some people who have even less than we do. Those of us who have more often forget what it is like to have less. We often take for granted what we have and become selfish. We absolutely need these reminders of just how much we really do have and how much good we ourselves can and should do for others.
Love, light and peace.
I want to share two inspiring stories I found while browsing the internet today. Both show the power of small kindnesses. Both had me in tears by the end. You can read the first here .
Spoilers ahead.
I found myself thinking as the author did, what if he had just honked once and driven off? Or if he had refused to help her to the car? Every day there are tons of opportunities for us to make a huge impact on the lives of others around us. And sometimes in our rush to get on with our day we don't even see them.
He didn't even know this old woman and she spent hours going all around the town with the cabbie reminiscing about her life and all the things that had happened and changed over the years. Because of his kindness she was able to have a few last precious moments to savor her experiences.
The second story is about something that has happened to nearly all of us at one point or another and can be found here, for now at least. It has been misfiled under the category of funny on the website where it has been posted. I love the story though and copied it to my hard drive so I can find it, in case it disappears.
It reminds me of the song Chain of Love by Clay Walker. If you haven't heard it, please check it out. It is a country song. I generally dislike country, but this one is worth a listen.
In this second story we see that just because someone is in a bad way, it doesn't mean they can't do good for others around them. And it is humbling to see how great the attitudes are of some people who have even less than we do. Those of us who have more often forget what it is like to have less. We often take for granted what we have and become selfish. We absolutely need these reminders of just how much we really do have and how much good we ourselves can and should do for others.
Love, light and peace.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Help see the message gets delivered
I have a powerful, positive, empowering message, one that can not be
gotten across or fully explained in just a few short words on a single
day. It is a message of peace, love and prosperity. A message of world
change. This message is something that can only be fully realized after a shift in the average person's way of being, something that is only likely to happen after one can both see the whole picture and see themselves within it
And it is my intention to reach a worldwide audience. The words I write, while helpful for me and those close to me are meant to reach as many eyes as possible. To such ends, I post my work in over a dozen different places on the internet
You may (or may not) have noticed that on some of these posts I ask that you share my work with others. The reason for this is so that more people have the opportunity to have the kind of thinking that this world so badly needs as part of their lives. People need to stop suffering in their sleep and wake up and start taking control of their own destinies. I don't want my work shared so that I can have recognition. In fact, recognition is the last thing that I want.
But if my way of thinking can improve the life of even one individual, if I can make the life of one person easier with the lessons and examples that I share, then I am happy with my work. In my daily life, offline I can only really reach out to one person at a time. Don't get me wrong. Changing the life of one person for the better is completely freaking awesome. Two or ten or even thousands would be even better though.
The thing is, I only personally come in contact with a dozen or maybe twenty people every week. Let's say that's the average for most people. I think that's a little low because I don't tend to get out much. But if each person that reads my work online shares a little of my thoughts and ideas with each person that they come in contact with, soon twenty becomes hundreds and then those hundreds become tens of thousands.
I don't really care about the number of followers that I have, but it is good feedback. The more followers I have on my blogs the more I know people appreciate what I write and the more I know it is making an impact on people's lives.
And do you know what ? I don't really care if it is my work in particular. What I am really asking that you share with others is inspiring, empowering, uplifting things. I know that what I have to say is a good message. I don't have the time or inclination to read the whole internet and pick and choose what's inspiring and what is not. If you know of someone else that has the same goal as I do and has just as good of a message, share their work instead. If what you personally do in your life is a better example, share your own stories ideas and lessons on how to make the lives of yourself and others around you better. What I write, what you write, what others write, it doesn't matter to me as long as it serves to make this world a better place.
If you like what I write, don't thank me or directly offer me gratitude in any way whatsoever. No, instead show that gratitude by joining me in making the world better. Show others a better way. In this world there is really no such thing as neutral. You are either contributing to the improvement of society or you are contributing to its downfall. So what's it gonna be Utopia or Dystopia?
IF you want a world that is in a constant state of positive change, one that is always getting better and better, take the positive, uplifting, empowering things into your life. Make them a part of your way of being. And then share sHaRe SHARE share those things with the world.
Every post can make life here on this planet better. It could be one life that improves, it could be dozens or even thousands. How much of an impact happens as a result depends on you.
I am going to keep living, and learning and writing and sharing until this world is the place it should be. There. I've told you what my intent is. Now, what are you going to do?
And it is my intention to reach a worldwide audience. The words I write, while helpful for me and those close to me are meant to reach as many eyes as possible. To such ends, I post my work in over a dozen different places on the internet
You may (or may not) have noticed that on some of these posts I ask that you share my work with others. The reason for this is so that more people have the opportunity to have the kind of thinking that this world so badly needs as part of their lives. People need to stop suffering in their sleep and wake up and start taking control of their own destinies. I don't want my work shared so that I can have recognition. In fact, recognition is the last thing that I want.
But if my way of thinking can improve the life of even one individual, if I can make the life of one person easier with the lessons and examples that I share, then I am happy with my work. In my daily life, offline I can only really reach out to one person at a time. Don't get me wrong. Changing the life of one person for the better is completely freaking awesome. Two or ten or even thousands would be even better though.
The thing is, I only personally come in contact with a dozen or maybe twenty people every week. Let's say that's the average for most people. I think that's a little low because I don't tend to get out much. But if each person that reads my work online shares a little of my thoughts and ideas with each person that they come in contact with, soon twenty becomes hundreds and then those hundreds become tens of thousands.
I don't really care about the number of followers that I have, but it is good feedback. The more followers I have on my blogs the more I know people appreciate what I write and the more I know it is making an impact on people's lives.
And do you know what ? I don't really care if it is my work in particular. What I am really asking that you share with others is inspiring, empowering, uplifting things. I know that what I have to say is a good message. I don't have the time or inclination to read the whole internet and pick and choose what's inspiring and what is not. If you know of someone else that has the same goal as I do and has just as good of a message, share their work instead. If what you personally do in your life is a better example, share your own stories ideas and lessons on how to make the lives of yourself and others around you better. What I write, what you write, what others write, it doesn't matter to me as long as it serves to make this world a better place.
If you like what I write, don't thank me or directly offer me gratitude in any way whatsoever. No, instead show that gratitude by joining me in making the world better. Show others a better way. In this world there is really no such thing as neutral. You are either contributing to the improvement of society or you are contributing to its downfall. So what's it gonna be Utopia or Dystopia?
IF you want a world that is in a constant state of positive change, one that is always getting better and better, take the positive, uplifting, empowering things into your life. Make them a part of your way of being. And then share sHaRe SHARE share those things with the world.
Every post can make life here on this planet better. It could be one life that improves, it could be dozens or even thousands. How much of an impact happens as a result depends on you.
I am going to keep living, and learning and writing and sharing until this world is the place it should be. There. I've told you what my intent is. Now, what are you going to do?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)