I am of course talking about the human brain. We have yet to build a single machine that comes even close to the raw computing power of the human mind. We take in billions of bits of data every second and somehow manage to sort through what is relevant and what is not, without any conscious effort.
A lot of people think that they are too dumb for complex situations or that they have terrible memories. That really isn't true though. What makes me say this?
Well, take for instance the complex math involved in crossing a busy street. If there are just one or two cars here and there it is easy to just say, well that car is far away. I should have plenty of time to make it across. But as that car gets closer and closer, there is a point where your mind tells you not to cross because you won't make it in time. How do you really know this?
You subconsciously take in all of the available data and make multiple complex calculations without even intentionally thinking about it. First, there is the distance of the car in question and the distance you need to travel to get to the other side of the road. You don't know how many feet or yards exactly it is from one side of the road to the other and you don't know exactly how far the other car is from you. Then there is the speed that you are each traveling at, also both unknowns.
There's a comparison between the time it will take you to cross the road and the amount of time it will take that vehicle to reach you. Without knowing the actual speeds and exact distances involved your brain somehow calculates the speeds and distances as relative ratios, compares one to the other and decides that you do or don't have enough time to cross.
At a busy intersection your mind will make these calculations dozens or even hundreds of times a minute, all running in the background while you are busy thinking about that cute blonde, or what you are going to have for lunch. And that's just one example. Your brain does things like this literally all day ever day. Take for example the complexities involved in even such a simple task as turning the knob on a door handle to open it. Think its easy? Talk to a few robotics programmers who will tell you differently. There are things such as angles and distances, timing, rotation and grip, correct amounts of pressure, both for gripping and rotating, and even the right amount of force to pull on the door so you have enough time to step back without opening it into yourself(if it opens towards you that is)
A person may not be good at consciously calculating things. But that is only due to lack of practice, not lack of ability. It can and should be trained.
As far as memory goes, I believe we all have perfect memories. We just fail to use them properly. Forgetting is deemed by most people as a perfectly acceptable reason for not having done something. So we don't put much effort into remembering.
But I have some examples on memory as well. First, I can't speak for everybody, but nearly every person that I have asked about this has admitted to having at least one dream that they could remember in vivid detail, one where things in the dream mirrored exactly a scene from their life. Every single thing in the dream was the same as it was in real life. How could that be if our memory was bad?
Then there's the fact that none of us ever forget to put on clothing before heading off to work right? Why not? Because we know its not acceptable. There are multiple consequences, some immediate and some embarrassing. The point is, it is something that we, at some point in our lives, tag as important and necessary to do, every single time we leave the house. Every thing in our lives that we tag with that degree of importance gets remembered, every single time.
Other things that we deem less important we put lesser labels on and many of those are the things we constantly forget. When we admit that we forget a thing, what we are really saying is, that thing was not important enough for us to remember.
Again, we operate the most complex machine ever created, all the time. The machine does what we tell it to do. If we tell the machine to remember a thing it remembers it. If we don't, it doesn't. It IS our fault when we forget. Tag the important stuff as important and there won't be a problem.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Synergy and tribal life pt2
But, it's also a way for me to look back over time and see how I've changed and how my own personal growth is doing. Also, in the past, I have found that I have many of the same conversations over and over. What happens is, I spend hours of my time explaining a thing to someone that I know and then a few months later I meet someone new and have the same exact conversation. Now, when something like that comes up I can just say, I wrote something about that, a little while ago, let me get you a link to it.
And last but not least. Business. What I love doing is giving people the tools, the advice, the know how to make their own lives better. The feeling I get from that is such a massive high, but that by itself doesn't pay the bills. I intend to make my living by making the lives of others better. So, towards that end I have spent a lot of time and energy looking for an online business that has many of the same goals that I do.
I spent so long looking that I almost gave up. But, about a year ago, I found this company, started by two ex-homeless guys, that really has heart. Their goal, like mine is world change. They want the world to be a better place and are putting their money where their mouth is. They care more about the improvements in your life than they do about whether or not they ever make a dollar and nearly every decision they make shows it. These guys and their goals synergize perfectly with my goals.
They want to change the world for the better. So do I. They give people the tools to make that possible and so do I. To reach as many people as possible, I post in multiple different places on the web. The main place that hosts my blog, the one that all the others redirect to is the blogging platform on their website. I am part of a team, working together so that we can all be successful. Come check it out here
So most of the time, I'll be talking about tools to make your personal life better, different ways of speaking, acting and thinking to make your life and that of those around you better. Sometimes it will be just personal relationship building skills. Sometimes it will be tools and ideas that you can use in your job or business. Other times it will be all of the above. See, synergy.
If you are happy with the way your life is and don't want any improvements to it, good for you. Have a great life, but please stop following me. What I have to say isn't for you.
If however, you look around at your life and see places that it could be better, and if you are willing to do the work of making it better, welcome to the tribe. More people doing a job means less work for all. Each new person that joins adds synergy making world change easier and easier to accomplish.
Also keep in mind, my main method of changing the world is through these posts. Each life that my work touches is one more opportunity to make that change happen. So if you want to be part of the tribe, if you truly want to see positive world change happen, in your lifetime, please please please, share my work with as many people as possible.
And last but not least. Business. What I love doing is giving people the tools, the advice, the know how to make their own lives better. The feeling I get from that is such a massive high, but that by itself doesn't pay the bills. I intend to make my living by making the lives of others better. So, towards that end I have spent a lot of time and energy looking for an online business that has many of the same goals that I do.
I spent so long looking that I almost gave up. But, about a year ago, I found this company, started by two ex-homeless guys, that really has heart. Their goal, like mine is world change. They want the world to be a better place and are putting their money where their mouth is. They care more about the improvements in your life than they do about whether or not they ever make a dollar and nearly every decision they make shows it. These guys and their goals synergize perfectly with my goals.
They want to change the world for the better. So do I. They give people the tools to make that possible and so do I. To reach as many people as possible, I post in multiple different places on the web. The main place that hosts my blog, the one that all the others redirect to is the blogging platform on their website. I am part of a team, working together so that we can all be successful. Come check it out here
So most of the time, I'll be talking about tools to make your personal life better, different ways of speaking, acting and thinking to make your life and that of those around you better. Sometimes it will be just personal relationship building skills. Sometimes it will be tools and ideas that you can use in your job or business. Other times it will be all of the above. See, synergy.
If you are happy with the way your life is and don't want any improvements to it, good for you. Have a great life, but please stop following me. What I have to say isn't for you.
If however, you look around at your life and see places that it could be better, and if you are willing to do the work of making it better, welcome to the tribe. More people doing a job means less work for all. Each new person that joins adds synergy making world change easier and easier to accomplish.
Also keep in mind, my main method of changing the world is through these posts. Each life that my work touches is one more opportunity to make that change happen. So if you want to be part of the tribe, if you truly want to see positive world change happen, in your lifetime, please please please, share my work with as many people as possible.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Synergy and tribal life pt1
Hi. Welcome. You there in the back. Yes, you. Can you hear me okay? Do I need to speak up? Good let's get started.
It has been said that in order to be as successful as we possibly can, it takes an awful lot of synergy. You probably know by now that I don't like to just throw words at people. I like to define them, so that we can all be on the same page.
Synergy quite literally means working together. It is the combined efforts of people or things to create a larger whole than the individual parts. I like to think of the word as s for same and ynergy for energy. I think of it this way because you are using the same energy but getting more done.
We can't afford to be working in multiple directions at once or we will never get anywhere. Doing things efficiently is applying synergy to your goal of getting things done. The most efficient way has the highest synergistic effect on your time. You create this synergy by arranging your errands in the proper order, so that the amount of energy you put out to get things done is the same or less and the time necessary to complete the tasks is less as well.
Another way that synergy can work for you is finding multiple uses for the same tools. With physical tools this means less time and energy spent shopping for new ones and less money spent purchasing them. With the non-physical it means making the thoughts and ideas that you already have in place work for you in new ways, again allowing you to get more out of the same or less effort.
For me this blog serves multiple purposes.
First and foremost, it is my soap box. I plan to change the world. This will happen through a combination of personal growth, life coaching, mentoring, living by example and sharing my results with all of you. With these posts I show you what my point of view is as well as many powerful positive tools for making your own lives better. I don't expect you to just go "huh, that was interesting" and then go on about your daily lives. I expect you to take what I say and make it your own and then make changes to your life accordingly.
I am building a tribe of people that want to make the world a better place, that want to live in a better place and want the world to be better still for our children. And all it takes to join that tribe is a conscious decision to start making your life better, now, not in ten years or six months. Today.
World change starts at your front door, inside your house even. We change the world by changing individuals, who then become examples for other individuals to follow. So these words that I write for you and to you are primarily to give you the tools to do exactly what I am doing.
It has been said that in order to be as successful as we possibly can, it takes an awful lot of synergy. You probably know by now that I don't like to just throw words at people. I like to define them, so that we can all be on the same page.
Synergy quite literally means working together. It is the combined efforts of people or things to create a larger whole than the individual parts. I like to think of the word as s for same and ynergy for energy. I think of it this way because you are using the same energy but getting more done.
We can't afford to be working in multiple directions at once or we will never get anywhere. Doing things efficiently is applying synergy to your goal of getting things done. The most efficient way has the highest synergistic effect on your time. You create this synergy by arranging your errands in the proper order, so that the amount of energy you put out to get things done is the same or less and the time necessary to complete the tasks is less as well.
Another way that synergy can work for you is finding multiple uses for the same tools. With physical tools this means less time and energy spent shopping for new ones and less money spent purchasing them. With the non-physical it means making the thoughts and ideas that you already have in place work for you in new ways, again allowing you to get more out of the same or less effort.
For me this blog serves multiple purposes.
First and foremost, it is my soap box. I plan to change the world. This will happen through a combination of personal growth, life coaching, mentoring, living by example and sharing my results with all of you. With these posts I show you what my point of view is as well as many powerful positive tools for making your own lives better. I don't expect you to just go "huh, that was interesting" and then go on about your daily lives. I expect you to take what I say and make it your own and then make changes to your life accordingly.
I am building a tribe of people that want to make the world a better place, that want to live in a better place and want the world to be better still for our children. And all it takes to join that tribe is a conscious decision to start making your life better, now, not in ten years or six months. Today.
World change starts at your front door, inside your house even. We change the world by changing individuals, who then become examples for other individuals to follow. So these words that I write for you and to you are primarily to give you the tools to do exactly what I am doing.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
What is a pyramid scheme? pt2
A pyramid scheme has some similarities, and some very important differences. First off the basic corporate business model in America is different from a pyramid scheme because it is legal and pyramid schemes are not. The reason for this is because when we do business money is exchanged for goods and services. In a pyramid scheme money is generally exchanged for money. You are told that money is being invested, but not how and the only way you can get back your investment is to get more people to invest. It goes something like this.
Like the corporate business model there is one guy at the top. Then each level below him usually has a specific number of people in it before dropping down to the next level. Sometimes its an order of magnitude, sometimes its a doubling or tripling. For convenience sake we'll use the order of magnitude example.
So the first level has one guy. He puts in a certain amount of money to get things rolling. Then he gets ten people under him who have to pay the same amount of money to become part of the club. Once that happens he breaks even. After that, new people that join, just put money in his pocket. Then each of those ten people have to get their own ten people so that they can break even. Then each of those one hundred have to get ten so that they can break even. Then each of those thousand have to get their own ten. In another few iterations it ends up taking more people than entire population of the earth in order for the guy at the bottom to break even.
What makes a pyramid scheme illegal is that it is a non-sustainable business model. The money to pay people for their "investment" comes directly from the people that they get to join afterwards and nothing of value is being created or shared anywhere down the line as a result.
If people stop joining the whole thing collapses. Eventually, the guys at the bottom stop paying their monthly fee because they aren't getting anything of value in return. Then one by one each level evaporates, leaving the next one up suffering from the same malady as the previous.
But on the other hand if a business were to offer a discount on your bill as an incentive to get new people to join, like say ten percent per person, there is value all over the place. There is value for you, first because the company is providing you something that you want or need every month and second because you can get that thing for even less by sharing it with others. Even if nobody new ever joins, you still benefit from having the product or service. There is value for the company because they are keeping a current customer and getting new ones all the time from the discounts they offer. And there is value for new customers because of the product or service that is being offered even if they never intend to take advantage of the potential for discounts.
A lot of network marketing companies and "normal" businesses" use this discount feature. They use different words to describe it. Some call it sales commission. Others call it a "friends and families" discount. But it all boils down to the same thing, you bring them business they pay you. Whether it is car insurance, cell service, groceries, or some other bill that you have to pay month after month, year in and year out why not get paid for sharing something good with others?
One of the main differences between network marketing and many of the "normal" corporate America type businesses is advertising. Most network marking companies don't spend the billions of dollars a year that other companies do on advertising. They give that money to their members as rewards for word of mouth advertising. Where would you rather see that money go? To an advertising executive or into your pocket?
Given those two choices, I'll choose my pocket every time. Check it out for yourself here
Besides all that, a lot of traditional corporations are either starting network marketing branches or originally started out as network marketing companies. If you are going to just lump everything that shares something in common with a pyramid scheme together due to generalities, then be prepared to look at all businesses as illegal scams and pyramid schemes.
Like the corporate business model there is one guy at the top. Then each level below him usually has a specific number of people in it before dropping down to the next level. Sometimes its an order of magnitude, sometimes its a doubling or tripling. For convenience sake we'll use the order of magnitude example.
So the first level has one guy. He puts in a certain amount of money to get things rolling. Then he gets ten people under him who have to pay the same amount of money to become part of the club. Once that happens he breaks even. After that, new people that join, just put money in his pocket. Then each of those ten people have to get their own ten people so that they can break even. Then each of those one hundred have to get ten so that they can break even. Then each of those thousand have to get their own ten. In another few iterations it ends up taking more people than entire population of the earth in order for the guy at the bottom to break even.
What makes a pyramid scheme illegal is that it is a non-sustainable business model. The money to pay people for their "investment" comes directly from the people that they get to join afterwards and nothing of value is being created or shared anywhere down the line as a result.
If people stop joining the whole thing collapses. Eventually, the guys at the bottom stop paying their monthly fee because they aren't getting anything of value in return. Then one by one each level evaporates, leaving the next one up suffering from the same malady as the previous.
But on the other hand if a business were to offer a discount on your bill as an incentive to get new people to join, like say ten percent per person, there is value all over the place. There is value for you, first because the company is providing you something that you want or need every month and second because you can get that thing for even less by sharing it with others. Even if nobody new ever joins, you still benefit from having the product or service. There is value for the company because they are keeping a current customer and getting new ones all the time from the discounts they offer. And there is value for new customers because of the product or service that is being offered even if they never intend to take advantage of the potential for discounts.
A lot of network marketing companies and "normal" businesses" use this discount feature. They use different words to describe it. Some call it sales commission. Others call it a "friends and families" discount. But it all boils down to the same thing, you bring them business they pay you. Whether it is car insurance, cell service, groceries, or some other bill that you have to pay month after month, year in and year out why not get paid for sharing something good with others?
One of the main differences between network marketing and many of the "normal" corporate America type businesses is advertising. Most network marking companies don't spend the billions of dollars a year that other companies do on advertising. They give that money to their members as rewards for word of mouth advertising. Where would you rather see that money go? To an advertising executive or into your pocket?
Given those two choices, I'll choose my pocket every time. Check it out for yourself here
Besides all that, a lot of traditional corporations are either starting network marketing branches or originally started out as network marketing companies. If you are going to just lump everything that shares something in common with a pyramid scheme together due to generalities, then be prepared to look at all businesses as illegal scams and pyramid schemes.
Monday, March 24, 2014
What is a pyramid scheme? pt1
None of us want to be scammed. We work hard for whatever money we do actually make and we want to be able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. When we hear about a company that uses shady or illegal practices we want to stay as far away from that company as possible. But, sometimes our fear of the unknown prevents us from taking advantage of things that might otherwise actually be good for us.
The other day I was talking about a company that I believe in, one that I am working with. Before joining up I did my homework to see how they compared with other companies in the same field. I checked them out to see if they were honest and dealt fairly with their members. All of the data that I received in return showed that things were on the up and up. There was no bait and switching going on and they delivered on the promises that they made.
There were two other major factors that went into my decision. First, this company ran off of the T-mobile network. I already had T-mobile as my cell service provider. So when I switched my service to their plan, on a technology level nothing was really changing. The only real change was which company got the money for my bill. And secondly, and in my opinion more importantly, this new company provided me the same service I was getting from T-mobile for less than half of what I was paying T-mobile.
These two things alone were enough to finish selling me on the newer company. Then I found out that for each person that I share this great, cheaper cell service provider with, I can get a break on my monthly bill, reducing and eventually eliminating my cost for cell service altogether. This last part was the icing on the cake. Would I have made the decision to switch my cell service for this one thing alone? No, probably not. But they were already offering the same great service I was used to at an even lower price than I was used to. And then, on top of that, I can eliminate my bill altogether by sharing the awsomeness with others? I'd have to be stupid to turn it down.
So, I was relating all this information to some friends of mine the other day. There were about six of us. One of the guys was pretty much lukewarm on the whole topic until he heard about the incentive to share the service with others. Then he makes some crack like "oh so it's a pyramid scheme"
And that pretty much ended any useful conversation on the benefits of this relatively new company and its ability to help us keep more money in our pockets every month. I don't even think my friend knows what a pyramid scheme actually is.
Here is what many people think a pyramid scheme is. There's a guy at the top. He is the one that starts things out. He invests his time money and energy into getting people under him. Now this guy works his tail off until he has enough people under him, investing their time and energy getting even more people to work under them, until he can relax and enjoy the fruits of their labor. With each level of new people at the bottom there's more and more people investing their time and energy and each lower level gets less and less than the people above them do. The people at the top, especially the guy at the very top, do less and less and get paid more and more.
If that's what you think a pyramid scheme is prepare to be wrong. What I have just finished describing is corporate America. It is the way our country runs. The guy or guys at the top get to party and all the little people get screwed. Remember the other day when I said generalities can make our lives better and they can hurt us? Well, this is an example of them doing the latter. So called normal businesses, network marketing(also called mlm) and pyramid schemes all share similarities, but that doesn't make them the same.
The other day I was talking about a company that I believe in, one that I am working with. Before joining up I did my homework to see how they compared with other companies in the same field. I checked them out to see if they were honest and dealt fairly with their members. All of the data that I received in return showed that things were on the up and up. There was no bait and switching going on and they delivered on the promises that they made.
There were two other major factors that went into my decision. First, this company ran off of the T-mobile network. I already had T-mobile as my cell service provider. So when I switched my service to their plan, on a technology level nothing was really changing. The only real change was which company got the money for my bill. And secondly, and in my opinion more importantly, this new company provided me the same service I was getting from T-mobile for less than half of what I was paying T-mobile.
These two things alone were enough to finish selling me on the newer company. Then I found out that for each person that I share this great, cheaper cell service provider with, I can get a break on my monthly bill, reducing and eventually eliminating my cost for cell service altogether. This last part was the icing on the cake. Would I have made the decision to switch my cell service for this one thing alone? No, probably not. But they were already offering the same great service I was used to at an even lower price than I was used to. And then, on top of that, I can eliminate my bill altogether by sharing the awsomeness with others? I'd have to be stupid to turn it down.
So, I was relating all this information to some friends of mine the other day. There were about six of us. One of the guys was pretty much lukewarm on the whole topic until he heard about the incentive to share the service with others. Then he makes some crack like "oh so it's a pyramid scheme"
And that pretty much ended any useful conversation on the benefits of this relatively new company and its ability to help us keep more money in our pockets every month. I don't even think my friend knows what a pyramid scheme actually is.
Here is what many people think a pyramid scheme is. There's a guy at the top. He is the one that starts things out. He invests his time money and energy into getting people under him. Now this guy works his tail off until he has enough people under him, investing their time and energy getting even more people to work under them, until he can relax and enjoy the fruits of their labor. With each level of new people at the bottom there's more and more people investing their time and energy and each lower level gets less and less than the people above them do. The people at the top, especially the guy at the very top, do less and less and get paid more and more.
If that's what you think a pyramid scheme is prepare to be wrong. What I have just finished describing is corporate America. It is the way our country runs. The guy or guys at the top get to party and all the little people get screwed. Remember the other day when I said generalities can make our lives better and they can hurt us? Well, this is an example of them doing the latter. So called normal businesses, network marketing(also called mlm) and pyramid schemes all share similarities, but that doesn't make them the same.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Who has the right to complain?
At one time or another pretty much everyone does it. Some part of life turns out differently than you'd like it to and you b&#ch up a storm. You disagree with some store policy or other that ends up costing you money because you weren't aware of how things worked. Everyone does it from time to time and that's fine.
The kind of thing that drives us really nuts though is the person who is constantly complaining, the guy or gal you just want to slap and tell to shut the heck up. Well, technically, according to what I believe, you can. Alright so maybe the violence part might not be a good idea, but...
Anyways. If a person isn't part of the solution they are part of the problem. Since complaining, by definition, is not a positive action that is likely to engender any useful form of change, it and the people that do it are just contributing to whatever it is that they are unhappy about.
As an example, I greatly dislike the way politics work in our country. I feel that our system is broken and bloated and needs to be destroyed and a new system made from the ashes of the old. There are good points but they are so few and far between that they are not even enough to build a good framework for the new system.
However, I don't see any real direct way that I could make things better. So, I don't take part in the politics of this country. I do what is legally necessary and that is that. Other than that, I pretty much stay away from politics. And normally unless directly asked, I keep my opinions to myself. Unlike many other people I know, I don't complain about all of the things that are wrong with the system. Again there's a lot stuff I don't like about how our country is run, but I don't bring others down by whining about it.
To be clear, stating that a thing is broken or doesn't work for all involved is not a complaint. Whining about how unfair it is to you or how much trouble it causes for you personally is complaining. Complaining is always a drain on you and those around you. It is never empowering. And aside from that there's a more productive use of that energy. Instead of complaining, think about what it is that you are really unhappy with in the situation and spend all that energy coming up with solutions that create a win for all involved. See, if you don't have a solution to the problem, one that works for everyone involved, or at least the people you are talking to, nobody cares about how it doesn't work for you.
In my (not always) humble opinion, I believe there are two categories of people that have the right to complain. The first is people that are unhappy with a situation and have come up with solutions that work for all involved but nobody is willing to work with them on implementing them.
And the second is people that are unhappy with a circumstance, have come up with solutions and are in the process of fixing things.Usually though these people are so busy rallying others to their cause that they don't have the time or energy to complain.
In essence, the people that are doing their absolute best at working towards making things better are the only ones that have any right to complain about a given situation and ironically, they are the ones that almost never do.
So the next time, that guy or gal comes along, you know the one. Tell them to put or shut up. Ask them what their solution to the problem is. And if they have one, why haven't they gotten it implemented yet?
The kind of thing that drives us really nuts though is the person who is constantly complaining, the guy or gal you just want to slap and tell to shut the heck up. Well, technically, according to what I believe, you can. Alright so maybe the violence part might not be a good idea, but...
Anyways. If a person isn't part of the solution they are part of the problem. Since complaining, by definition, is not a positive action that is likely to engender any useful form of change, it and the people that do it are just contributing to whatever it is that they are unhappy about.
As an example, I greatly dislike the way politics work in our country. I feel that our system is broken and bloated and needs to be destroyed and a new system made from the ashes of the old. There are good points but they are so few and far between that they are not even enough to build a good framework for the new system.
However, I don't see any real direct way that I could make things better. So, I don't take part in the politics of this country. I do what is legally necessary and that is that. Other than that, I pretty much stay away from politics. And normally unless directly asked, I keep my opinions to myself. Unlike many other people I know, I don't complain about all of the things that are wrong with the system. Again there's a lot stuff I don't like about how our country is run, but I don't bring others down by whining about it.
To be clear, stating that a thing is broken or doesn't work for all involved is not a complaint. Whining about how unfair it is to you or how much trouble it causes for you personally is complaining. Complaining is always a drain on you and those around you. It is never empowering. And aside from that there's a more productive use of that energy. Instead of complaining, think about what it is that you are really unhappy with in the situation and spend all that energy coming up with solutions that create a win for all involved. See, if you don't have a solution to the problem, one that works for everyone involved, or at least the people you are talking to, nobody cares about how it doesn't work for you.
In my (not always) humble opinion, I believe there are two categories of people that have the right to complain. The first is people that are unhappy with a situation and have come up with solutions that work for all involved but nobody is willing to work with them on implementing them.
And the second is people that are unhappy with a circumstance, have come up with solutions and are in the process of fixing things.Usually though these people are so busy rallying others to their cause that they don't have the time or energy to complain.
In essence, the people that are doing their absolute best at working towards making things better are the only ones that have any right to complain about a given situation and ironically, they are the ones that almost never do.
So the next time, that guy or gal comes along, you know the one. Tell them to put or shut up. Ask them what their solution to the problem is. And if they have one, why haven't they gotten it implemented yet?
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
The right frame
In nearly every situation there are many possible different outcomes.Usually though, there's one in particular that you are pushing for, one way that you want things to be and many that are not acceptable to you. If you are the only one that has anything invested or at stake, then it is not that hard to drive things in the direction that is favorable to you.
But what if there's another person who very strongly cares about the outcome too, only what they want is different than what you want? You could always bludgeon them about the head and shoulders repeatedly with a heavy object until you get your way. However, that method, while solving one problem opens up a whole barrel of others.
You could yell and argue, call the other person stupid for not seeing the "correct" way and just generally attempt to out stubborn the other person.This is the way many people handle things. But, it rarely ever works unless one person is in authority over another as in the cases of the parent/child or boss/employee relationship. And even when it does there are often harsh negative feelings engendered that hang around long after the argument is over.
There has to be a better way. What is it?
To answer that question another question is necessary. Why are they disagreeing with you in the first place? Most of the time, the reason is due to a difference in paradigm or frame of reference. Your collection of knowledge, thoughts, feelings and experiences cause you to see the situation one way. Their collection of knowledge, thoughts,feelings and experiences cause them to see it a completely different way.
If you want any hope of getting your way, you need to first see and understand things their way. Then once you understand their frame of reference, ask simple yes or no questions that they will say yes to, things that show you understand their point of view. Things like: You want things to be x way because of y thing, right? A is better than B because of C, right? Use however many are necessary to paint a picture of their viewpoint. Usually somewhere between three and seven of these questions is good.
What you are doing here is two things. First you are showing that you understand their point of view, that you get it. Second and more importantly you are getting them to say yes repeatedly to questions you ask. This is a very powerful psychological tool. A person that starts a conversation in a yes frame of mind will be easier to lead to your conclusion than one that starts out with no's.
So, you get their point of view, and they know you get it. What next?
Now, in your mind, compare your point of view to theirs. See the differences. Look for the pros and cons of each. Weigh them in your mind and if you still think your way is better continue.
Taking logical steps, move one step at a time away from their point of view. Ask questions that point out the flaws in their way, but don't do it directly. And whenever possible ask questions they will answer yes to. Something like, wouldn't you want to have the outcome that benefits you the most? Then point out that their way isn't the one that benefits them the most. Explain why, but don't suggest your way as a replacement. Not yet.
Keep pointing out the ways in which what they think they want isn't really all that good for them. Now, start moving towards your point of view. Get more yes's . Wouldn't it be better if there were a way to include x thing in the outcome? Don't you agree that a solution that doesn't have the negative things we have talked about so far would be better? Move from talking about the flaws of their way to the benefits of some other better way. Use the pros and cons as a guideline for letting them construct the best solution. (your solution)Gradually, you get them to decide for themselves that your way is the only way that will work, without you even mentioning that it is your way.
You do have a preference, your own point of view. But, the bottom line is, people really only care about their own point of view and their own benefit. So, you flip things around and bring them to the point where they do what you want because they have decided for themselves that it is the best solution for a given situation.
But what if there's another person who very strongly cares about the outcome too, only what they want is different than what you want? You could always bludgeon them about the head and shoulders repeatedly with a heavy object until you get your way. However, that method, while solving one problem opens up a whole barrel of others.
You could yell and argue, call the other person stupid for not seeing the "correct" way and just generally attempt to out stubborn the other person.This is the way many people handle things. But, it rarely ever works unless one person is in authority over another as in the cases of the parent/child or boss/employee relationship. And even when it does there are often harsh negative feelings engendered that hang around long after the argument is over.
There has to be a better way. What is it?
To answer that question another question is necessary. Why are they disagreeing with you in the first place? Most of the time, the reason is due to a difference in paradigm or frame of reference. Your collection of knowledge, thoughts, feelings and experiences cause you to see the situation one way. Their collection of knowledge, thoughts,feelings and experiences cause them to see it a completely different way.
If you want any hope of getting your way, you need to first see and understand things their way. Then once you understand their frame of reference, ask simple yes or no questions that they will say yes to, things that show you understand their point of view. Things like: You want things to be x way because of y thing, right? A is better than B because of C, right? Use however many are necessary to paint a picture of their viewpoint. Usually somewhere between three and seven of these questions is good.
What you are doing here is two things. First you are showing that you understand their point of view, that you get it. Second and more importantly you are getting them to say yes repeatedly to questions you ask. This is a very powerful psychological tool. A person that starts a conversation in a yes frame of mind will be easier to lead to your conclusion than one that starts out with no's.
So, you get their point of view, and they know you get it. What next?
Now, in your mind, compare your point of view to theirs. See the differences. Look for the pros and cons of each. Weigh them in your mind and if you still think your way is better continue.
Taking logical steps, move one step at a time away from their point of view. Ask questions that point out the flaws in their way, but don't do it directly. And whenever possible ask questions they will answer yes to. Something like, wouldn't you want to have the outcome that benefits you the most? Then point out that their way isn't the one that benefits them the most. Explain why, but don't suggest your way as a replacement. Not yet.
Keep pointing out the ways in which what they think they want isn't really all that good for them. Now, start moving towards your point of view. Get more yes's . Wouldn't it be better if there were a way to include x thing in the outcome? Don't you agree that a solution that doesn't have the negative things we have talked about so far would be better? Move from talking about the flaws of their way to the benefits of some other better way. Use the pros and cons as a guideline for letting them construct the best solution. (your solution)Gradually, you get them to decide for themselves that your way is the only way that will work, without you even mentioning that it is your way.
You do have a preference, your own point of view. But, the bottom line is, people really only care about their own point of view and their own benefit. So, you flip things around and bring them to the point where they do what you want because they have decided for themselves that it is the best solution for a given situation.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Specifics on generalizing
You might think, from some of my previous work, that I think generalizing is evil or somehow wrong. And while there are times and places where it does in fact hurt us, that just isn't so.
Generalizations are like handguns, swords, fire and the poison we use to kill insects. All of these things can be very powerful tools that can accomplish a number of different tasks. Each is better at specific tasks than the others.
Fire can keep us warm, cook our food and keep predators away. Swords and guns can be used to defend ourselves and those we care about, to keep others from harming us. The poison can keep insects from running rampant throughout our lives.
Each of these things has powerfully positive ways that they can make our lives better. Conversely, each of them can also be turned to dark evil purposes as well. They can all be used to murder, cripple, maim and cause suffering.
A tool is just a tool, neither inherently good or evil. All tools are double edged swords so to speak. All is determined by the wielder. It is the knowledge and intent of the user of each of these tools that determines whether good or ill results.
Arguably, generalizations are the most powerful of these tools that I have listed because it deals with words and understanding of words. And since words are our way of interacting with one another, sharing our experiences and motivating ourselves and others, tools that are themselves concepts and not physical things, have the most potential for impacting lives, for better or for worse.
So, what is good about generalizing? Well as mentioned previously, it is part of the process that allows us to take in all the things that happen to us moment to moment and not get completely overloaded all the time by the sheer amount of raw data.
But, really, I think, the greatest way in which we benefit from generalization is how we use it in the learning process. Initially all learning is done by rote memorization of a thing happening over and over and over. It is how we learn our ABC's, basic counting and things of that nature.
At some point though, being the naturally curious animals that we are, we start doing something called extrapolating. Extrapolation is quite literally lumping all the stuff we know about a particular thing together into one category and saying if that is true then what about this?
We generalize all the data we have in a certain area into the word "that" and then use that to test something new and unfamiliar. If we find "this" to be true, then we add it to "that" making a new slightly larger set of data and seek out a new "this"
Specific example. Bob likes being able to breathe. Suzie likes being able to breathe. So do, Steven, Mary,Jacob, Harry, and so on. You query 99 people. They all say they like to breathe, men and women alike. Before asking the one hundredth person the question you generalize all the data previously collected by theorizing that if all 99 of these people like being able to breath, the next person you ask will also enjoy breathing. You ask and lo and behold the hundredth person also enjoy breathing.
From this experiment you make some other generalizations and extrapolations. You decide that, based on the data you have collected so far, all men like breathing and all women like breathing. Men and women are people, therefore all people like breathing. Wait what about children, they are people too right?
You generalize the data. Children are just younger men and women. So children should enjoy breathing as well. You ask some. The ones that are old enough to properly understand the question all answer affirmatively that they do indeed enjoy being able to breathe.
Men, women, children, yup those are all the ones that qualify as people. You generalize that people like breathing and can extrapolate and learn more based on that data. Through generalization and trial and error our pool of knowledge gradually goes from this tiny little pond to a vast ocean of data.
And to communicate the concepts to people we just generalize. If they don't understand or if they disagree, then we can get into the specifics of how or why what we say is true. We save time, and energy be generalizing. Like all of the other tools at our disposal, generalization is a powerful tool for good if used properly. It just takes conscious observation and effort to be sure we are using it correctly.
Generalizations are like handguns, swords, fire and the poison we use to kill insects. All of these things can be very powerful tools that can accomplish a number of different tasks. Each is better at specific tasks than the others.
Fire can keep us warm, cook our food and keep predators away. Swords and guns can be used to defend ourselves and those we care about, to keep others from harming us. The poison can keep insects from running rampant throughout our lives.
Each of these things has powerfully positive ways that they can make our lives better. Conversely, each of them can also be turned to dark evil purposes as well. They can all be used to murder, cripple, maim and cause suffering.
A tool is just a tool, neither inherently good or evil. All tools are double edged swords so to speak. All is determined by the wielder. It is the knowledge and intent of the user of each of these tools that determines whether good or ill results.
Arguably, generalizations are the most powerful of these tools that I have listed because it deals with words and understanding of words. And since words are our way of interacting with one another, sharing our experiences and motivating ourselves and others, tools that are themselves concepts and not physical things, have the most potential for impacting lives, for better or for worse.
So, what is good about generalizing? Well as mentioned previously, it is part of the process that allows us to take in all the things that happen to us moment to moment and not get completely overloaded all the time by the sheer amount of raw data.
But, really, I think, the greatest way in which we benefit from generalization is how we use it in the learning process. Initially all learning is done by rote memorization of a thing happening over and over and over. It is how we learn our ABC's, basic counting and things of that nature.
At some point though, being the naturally curious animals that we are, we start doing something called extrapolating. Extrapolation is quite literally lumping all the stuff we know about a particular thing together into one category and saying if that is true then what about this?
We generalize all the data we have in a certain area into the word "that" and then use that to test something new and unfamiliar. If we find "this" to be true, then we add it to "that" making a new slightly larger set of data and seek out a new "this"
Specific example. Bob likes being able to breathe. Suzie likes being able to breathe. So do, Steven, Mary,Jacob, Harry, and so on. You query 99 people. They all say they like to breathe, men and women alike. Before asking the one hundredth person the question you generalize all the data previously collected by theorizing that if all 99 of these people like being able to breath, the next person you ask will also enjoy breathing. You ask and lo and behold the hundredth person also enjoy breathing.
From this experiment you make some other generalizations and extrapolations. You decide that, based on the data you have collected so far, all men like breathing and all women like breathing. Men and women are people, therefore all people like breathing. Wait what about children, they are people too right?
You generalize the data. Children are just younger men and women. So children should enjoy breathing as well. You ask some. The ones that are old enough to properly understand the question all answer affirmatively that they do indeed enjoy being able to breathe.
Men, women, children, yup those are all the ones that qualify as people. You generalize that people like breathing and can extrapolate and learn more based on that data. Through generalization and trial and error our pool of knowledge gradually goes from this tiny little pond to a vast ocean of data.
And to communicate the concepts to people we just generalize. If they don't understand or if they disagree, then we can get into the specifics of how or why what we say is true. We save time, and energy be generalizing. Like all of the other tools at our disposal, generalization is a powerful tool for good if used properly. It just takes conscious observation and effort to be sure we are using it correctly.
(lack of) Motivation and Accomplishment
People idolize their favorite celebrities. Whether it be sports, music or movies we all have our favorites. But there is a part of this general pattern of behavior that I find really confusing.
We look at these superstars that have accomplished many great things and we say to ourselves that it is just awesome what they have been able to do. We find ourselves wishing we could do the things that they do or have done. There is a tendency I think to subconsciously demotivate ourselves because of the pedestal we put our idols on.
What is the difference between you and the likes of say Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift or Robin Thicke? Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant or Tiger Woods, what makes them worth millions a year more than you? How are Hugh Jackman, Natalie Portman or Chris Hemsworth better than you?
The answers are nothing nothing and they aren't. There is no single person alive that is better than anyone else. We all have the same potential for massive greatness. The only difference between us and celebrities is the current status of our potential.
For the rich and famous, their potential is realized. For the rest of us our potential is unrealized. They have simply taken the steps that we have yet to walk. That's it. There is no other difference. Celebrities are not better than average people. Some of them may be more physically attractive but that often has more to do with fashion and makeup than genes.
If you take away the popularity and "status" celebrities are just normal people, many of whom are not all that bright. And as such we should relate ourselves more directly to them. If there is no difference between you and all the celebrities out there, then there is no reason, other than lack of motivation for your results to be any less than theirs.
We should be copying the things that they have done to become successful instead of wistfully gazing up at the pedestals we have placed them upon. We should use their success as the template and model for ours. If those once normal average humans can rise above the crowd so can we.
Many people are of the opinion that if everyone is special and unique it means nobody is. But that idea is completely ridiculous. That's like saying a party with one cool person and a bunch of chumps is a better party than one where everyone is awesome. I don't know about you but i'd much rather hang out with the second crowd.
We all have talents and abilities that we can and should be using to get ahead in life. Now I am not saying everyone can be a rock star, which is good because not everyone likes rock (BLASPHEMY!). But everyone can certainly be truly great in at least one area of their life. And every person who isn't is selling themselves and the world short.
What is your biggest accomplishment to date? What will it be ten years from now? And did this post change your outlook at all?
We look at these superstars that have accomplished many great things and we say to ourselves that it is just awesome what they have been able to do. We find ourselves wishing we could do the things that they do or have done. There is a tendency I think to subconsciously demotivate ourselves because of the pedestal we put our idols on.
What is the difference between you and the likes of say Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift or Robin Thicke? Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant or Tiger Woods, what makes them worth millions a year more than you? How are Hugh Jackman, Natalie Portman or Chris Hemsworth better than you?
The answers are nothing nothing and they aren't. There is no single person alive that is better than anyone else. We all have the same potential for massive greatness. The only difference between us and celebrities is the current status of our potential.
For the rich and famous, their potential is realized. For the rest of us our potential is unrealized. They have simply taken the steps that we have yet to walk. That's it. There is no other difference. Celebrities are not better than average people. Some of them may be more physically attractive but that often has more to do with fashion and makeup than genes.
If you take away the popularity and "status" celebrities are just normal people, many of whom are not all that bright. And as such we should relate ourselves more directly to them. If there is no difference between you and all the celebrities out there, then there is no reason, other than lack of motivation for your results to be any less than theirs.
We should be copying the things that they have done to become successful instead of wistfully gazing up at the pedestals we have placed them upon. We should use their success as the template and model for ours. If those once normal average humans can rise above the crowd so can we.
Many people are of the opinion that if everyone is special and unique it means nobody is. But that idea is completely ridiculous. That's like saying a party with one cool person and a bunch of chumps is a better party than one where everyone is awesome. I don't know about you but i'd much rather hang out with the second crowd.
We all have talents and abilities that we can and should be using to get ahead in life. Now I am not saying everyone can be a rock star, which is good because not everyone likes rock (BLASPHEMY!). But everyone can certainly be truly great in at least one area of their life. And every person who isn't is selling themselves and the world short.
What is your biggest accomplishment to date? What will it be ten years from now? And did this post change your outlook at all?
Friday, March 14, 2014
One event. Multiple Stories. Why? pt2
Because of the tint applied to our vision there are things that happened that I will not have seen but you will and vice versa. And there are things that happened that neither of us will have seen.
Finally and probably the biggest one of them all is generalization. Life is complex and intricate. We would run out of time and get nothing done if every time we spoke about an event we started from the beginning and filled in every single detail of what happened.
For example, I can tell you I made a sandwich. Or I can tell you each step involved in making my lunch, every ingredient that went into it, where I found each one, how I decided what went into it and what did not, and how it compared with other sandwiches, that I have eaten. All of that data is relevant and I might share it once, but not every time I make or eat a sandwich, because I know you don't care about most of those things and through your own process of deleting, distorting and generalizing, most of what you are going to remember is that I told you a story about a sandwich.
Each day is made up of thousands of such events. Our mind breaks these complex sequences of events down to the most important most relevant details and generalizes the whole experience into the simplest to remember.
To sum up, we actually destroy the truth and replace it with a similar but much more convenient lie. And that is why one event with multiple witnesses will have multiple different stories, depending on who is called to task to tell the story.
Through the use of recording devices we can often get a more clear picture of things and that is one way of getting to the truth. But is is also possible for us to modify the delete,distort and generalization process so that our own story is closer to the truth. In fact, that is part of what self empowerment is about, being more conscious of what is going on around you, being better at observing and remembering what you experience. It does take conscious effort and will but I think it is worth it.
It is my personal mission in life to make my experience, my memory of everything that happens to me be as close to the truth as possible as often as possible. Being able to tell the truth about something when asked what happened is important to me. Does it matter to you?
If it does, then make a new decision for yourself. Starting today do everything in your power to be more conscious of things that are going on around you. Be more present and aware of things as they actually happen. Make a conscious effort to remember things in as vivid of detail as possible. It may not happen immediately, but over time you should get better at recalling what actually happened.
Who knows? Maybe one day seven or eight out of ten people might actually be able to tell the same exact story about an event and have it be the truth.
Finally and probably the biggest one of them all is generalization. Life is complex and intricate. We would run out of time and get nothing done if every time we spoke about an event we started from the beginning and filled in every single detail of what happened.
For example, I can tell you I made a sandwich. Or I can tell you each step involved in making my lunch, every ingredient that went into it, where I found each one, how I decided what went into it and what did not, and how it compared with other sandwiches, that I have eaten. All of that data is relevant and I might share it once, but not every time I make or eat a sandwich, because I know you don't care about most of those things and through your own process of deleting, distorting and generalizing, most of what you are going to remember is that I told you a story about a sandwich.
Each day is made up of thousands of such events. Our mind breaks these complex sequences of events down to the most important most relevant details and generalizes the whole experience into the simplest to remember.
To sum up, we actually destroy the truth and replace it with a similar but much more convenient lie. And that is why one event with multiple witnesses will have multiple different stories, depending on who is called to task to tell the story.
Through the use of recording devices we can often get a more clear picture of things and that is one way of getting to the truth. But is is also possible for us to modify the delete,distort and generalization process so that our own story is closer to the truth. In fact, that is part of what self empowerment is about, being more conscious of what is going on around you, being better at observing and remembering what you experience. It does take conscious effort and will but I think it is worth it.
It is my personal mission in life to make my experience, my memory of everything that happens to me be as close to the truth as possible as often as possible. Being able to tell the truth about something when asked what happened is important to me. Does it matter to you?
If it does, then make a new decision for yourself. Starting today do everything in your power to be more conscious of things that are going on around you. Be more present and aware of things as they actually happen. Make a conscious effort to remember things in as vivid of detail as possible. It may not happen immediately, but over time you should get better at recalling what actually happened.
Who knows? Maybe one day seven or eight out of ten people might actually be able to tell the same exact story about an event and have it be the truth.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
One event. Multiple Stories. Why? pt1
Whenever there is some dramatic event, a fire or let's say a robbery, after the fact the authorities get statements from as many witnesses as possible. They are trying to piece together exactly what happened. But, have you ever noticed that if ten different people are all separately asked to tell exactly what they remember, you end up with ten different stories? And sometimes some of them are wildly different from each other.
Is it because people are trying to cover up what happened, out of guilt or fear that they may somehow unknowingly be involved in what's going on? Maybe some of the witnesses are pathological liars that couldn't tell the truth if their lives depended on it. Or maybe one of the witnesses is the actual culprit responsible for the crime. Are powerful aliens bending the space time continuum and causing all those different people to experience the same event in different ways?
While one of those things may occasionally be true, its not the most common reason that ten different people who witnessed what happened will have ten different stories. And actually the alien theory is closest to what normally happens, except we as individuals are the aliens.
Don't go calling the funny farm on me just yet. I promise a somewhat reasonable explanation if you'll just hear me out. In order to explain how this works first requires some insight into how we as humans function.
There is a lot going on around us all day everyday. In fact, our brains take in billions of bits of data per second, through our five basic senses. There is so much going on that we literally cannot process all of it at once. We would go insane and have zero focus if we tried to absorb it all. So, to make the process easier for us, our subconscious minds edit events to make them more manageable.
The way this happens is in three separate stages. We delete, distort and generalize. I'm listing them in this order but it happens kind of all at once with no real rhyme or reason for which happens in which order.
First, things that our minds tag as not important bits of data our brains block out. The data is still technically there within our minds, but we don't remember it upon casual recall.
Second we distort what actually happened. This is where things go kind of sideways and tend to get weird. Each one of us has a certain way we view the world due to our experiences up until this point. It includes what we think is normal, what we think is okay or not okay and really how we perceive everything.
Imagine your point of view as a set of rose hued glasses and my point of view as blue colored glasses. If you and I each are asked to tell about the same event, my story will be skewed by the blue tinge everything has and yours will be skewed by the red tinge that yours have.
Is it because people are trying to cover up what happened, out of guilt or fear that they may somehow unknowingly be involved in what's going on? Maybe some of the witnesses are pathological liars that couldn't tell the truth if their lives depended on it. Or maybe one of the witnesses is the actual culprit responsible for the crime. Are powerful aliens bending the space time continuum and causing all those different people to experience the same event in different ways?
While one of those things may occasionally be true, its not the most common reason that ten different people who witnessed what happened will have ten different stories. And actually the alien theory is closest to what normally happens, except we as individuals are the aliens.
Don't go calling the funny farm on me just yet. I promise a somewhat reasonable explanation if you'll just hear me out. In order to explain how this works first requires some insight into how we as humans function.
There is a lot going on around us all day everyday. In fact, our brains take in billions of bits of data per second, through our five basic senses. There is so much going on that we literally cannot process all of it at once. We would go insane and have zero focus if we tried to absorb it all. So, to make the process easier for us, our subconscious minds edit events to make them more manageable.
The way this happens is in three separate stages. We delete, distort and generalize. I'm listing them in this order but it happens kind of all at once with no real rhyme or reason for which happens in which order.
First, things that our minds tag as not important bits of data our brains block out. The data is still technically there within our minds, but we don't remember it upon casual recall.
Second we distort what actually happened. This is where things go kind of sideways and tend to get weird. Each one of us has a certain way we view the world due to our experiences up until this point. It includes what we think is normal, what we think is okay or not okay and really how we perceive everything.
Imagine your point of view as a set of rose hued glasses and my point of view as blue colored glasses. If you and I each are asked to tell about the same event, my story will be skewed by the blue tinge everything has and yours will be skewed by the red tinge that yours have.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
A great new wonderful today
Welcome to a great, new, wonderful today. Welcome to a today that is pregnant with opportunities, overflowing with new possibilities for you to take advantage of, to make your life and the lives of those around you better than ever before.
Bah humbug you say? Yesterday sucked you say? Yesterday sucked, so did all the days before.Today is gonna suck and so will all the days that come after.
Well, sure. If you maintain that attitude you are guaranteed to be right. After all, attitude is everything. The universe brings you exactly what you honestly expect that it will. If you believe that your past is a mirror of your future, things can never get any better. If all you ever see of your past is darkness and no light and you think all that can be is what has been, your future is pretty bleak.
But why do that to yourself? In a universe filled with infinite possibility, one where you can have any future that you truly, deeply, honestly, desire, why create the same old dank depressing life you have always had? Given a choice, would you rather suffer through your future or enjoy it?
Why not fill it with warmth and light and hope? Expect more out of life. Politely demand it.
See the thing about yesterday is that its over. The past is static, unchangeable. You have taken advantage of every possibility in your past that you are ever going to. The future though is unwritten. It is dynamic.What is going on can change from moment to moment. Each day has more opportunity within it than you could ever hope to grasp. The possibilities are practically endless. You can decide at any point to make changes to your life that will make it better from this moment on.
If you are consistently convinced about and focused on how badly today is going to suck then you won't see the opportunities as they present themselves. If, however, you are absolutely sure that the current day holds opportunities for you that have so far been things undreamed of, if you know for sure that things are going to get better and better, your mind, heart and eyes will be open. This will enable you to see, experience, live and take advantage of those better things as they happen.
And tomorrow will be better still. Each day is a bigger, better day, than the day before it. No, you can't just skip ahead a few tomorrows. You need to truly live, experience and enjoy today. Though the past is static and unchangeable, each day builds upon the day before it.
Squeeze every drop of love and life and joy out of today, taking advantage of all the wondrous opportunities before you. Then and only then will you be truly prepared for the even greater, more awesome next day.
So again, welcome to a great, new, wonderful today and also welcome to a tomorrow filled with unlimited possibilities.
Bah humbug you say? Yesterday sucked you say? Yesterday sucked, so did all the days before.Today is gonna suck and so will all the days that come after.
Well, sure. If you maintain that attitude you are guaranteed to be right. After all, attitude is everything. The universe brings you exactly what you honestly expect that it will. If you believe that your past is a mirror of your future, things can never get any better. If all you ever see of your past is darkness and no light and you think all that can be is what has been, your future is pretty bleak.
But why do that to yourself? In a universe filled with infinite possibility, one where you can have any future that you truly, deeply, honestly, desire, why create the same old dank depressing life you have always had? Given a choice, would you rather suffer through your future or enjoy it?
Why not fill it with warmth and light and hope? Expect more out of life. Politely demand it.
See the thing about yesterday is that its over. The past is static, unchangeable. You have taken advantage of every possibility in your past that you are ever going to. The future though is unwritten. It is dynamic.What is going on can change from moment to moment. Each day has more opportunity within it than you could ever hope to grasp. The possibilities are practically endless. You can decide at any point to make changes to your life that will make it better from this moment on.
If you are consistently convinced about and focused on how badly today is going to suck then you won't see the opportunities as they present themselves. If, however, you are absolutely sure that the current day holds opportunities for you that have so far been things undreamed of, if you know for sure that things are going to get better and better, your mind, heart and eyes will be open. This will enable you to see, experience, live and take advantage of those better things as they happen.
And tomorrow will be better still. Each day is a bigger, better day, than the day before it. No, you can't just skip ahead a few tomorrows. You need to truly live, experience and enjoy today. Though the past is static and unchangeable, each day builds upon the day before it.
Squeeze every drop of love and life and joy out of today, taking advantage of all the wondrous opportunities before you. Then and only then will you be truly prepared for the even greater, more awesome next day.
So again, welcome to a great, new, wonderful today and also welcome to a tomorrow filled with unlimited possibilities.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Transformation
In self help, enlightenment and personal empowerment circles it has a pretty particular meaning. But what does transformation mean to you?
Well, for me, I think about the first time I ever saw the show The Transformers. It's been out for decades. We've probably all seen them somewhere in pop culture, even if you have somehow managed to avoid watching the blockbuster movies directed by Mr. Explosions.
The first time I ever saw a Transformer, it went something like this.
Wow, cool, that's an awesome looking car. I like the detail on the... Holy F$#% it just turned into a robot. Man! That thing has freaking lasers and everything! Mind...officially...blown (brain matter oozing out the ears)
Personal transformation is the same for me. Even at their worst, every person is a truly amazing piece of work with some fantastic unbelievable stories. We all have had crazy experiences that to one degree or another justify who we are and where we are in our lives. No matter where the starting point for the transformation is, we are all awesome, awe-inspiring living machines. Every person, happy or not, pleasant to be around or not is an eleven on a scale of one to ten.
But once we stop letting others hold us back, once we leave behind our limiting beliefs,once we decide enough is enough, once we decide that we are worth it and that we are willing to fight for our happiness and to do everything possible to make our lives better, every one of us instantly jumps up an order of magnitude. That's right. Transformation makes each one of us a 110 on a scale of 1 to ten.
Stop playing small. You are worth so much more. You are so much bigger and have so much more to offer friends, family and indeed the whole world than you have been. Your mind and heart expand to the point where that tiny little box you have been calling your life no longer is big enough to contain you. The walls and roof explode outward as the new you busts out searching for a new and larger niche to contain the new you and your new experiences. Old problems shrink away in fear at the new larger more empowered you. New challenges arise, but nothing can stop you unless you let it.
Seeing people transform, watching them fight their way out of their cocoon, indeed, out of the wreckage of their former lives and watching them take flight out into their great big new world of possibility, fills my heart with love and gratitude for the opportunity that I have to lead people through their trials and tribulations, to help them on their journey from darkness and fear and into the light. It brings tears of joy to my eyes every time I see that certain light of understanding in someone's eyes, when it finally clicks and they get what their life could be like as opposed to how they have been living and when they in that same moment decide that their life is going to change.
Assisting people in making that kind of transformation is literally what I believe my purpose on this planet is. It is what makes me the happiest and is what I live for.
What's yours?
Well, for me, I think about the first time I ever saw the show The Transformers. It's been out for decades. We've probably all seen them somewhere in pop culture, even if you have somehow managed to avoid watching the blockbuster movies directed by Mr. Explosions.
The first time I ever saw a Transformer, it went something like this.
Wow, cool, that's an awesome looking car. I like the detail on the... Holy F$#% it just turned into a robot. Man! That thing has freaking lasers and everything! Mind...officially...blown (brain matter oozing out the ears)
Personal transformation is the same for me. Even at their worst, every person is a truly amazing piece of work with some fantastic unbelievable stories. We all have had crazy experiences that to one degree or another justify who we are and where we are in our lives. No matter where the starting point for the transformation is, we are all awesome, awe-inspiring living machines. Every person, happy or not, pleasant to be around or not is an eleven on a scale of one to ten.
But once we stop letting others hold us back, once we leave behind our limiting beliefs,once we decide enough is enough, once we decide that we are worth it and that we are willing to fight for our happiness and to do everything possible to make our lives better, every one of us instantly jumps up an order of magnitude. That's right. Transformation makes each one of us a 110 on a scale of 1 to ten.
Stop playing small. You are worth so much more. You are so much bigger and have so much more to offer friends, family and indeed the whole world than you have been. Your mind and heart expand to the point where that tiny little box you have been calling your life no longer is big enough to contain you. The walls and roof explode outward as the new you busts out searching for a new and larger niche to contain the new you and your new experiences. Old problems shrink away in fear at the new larger more empowered you. New challenges arise, but nothing can stop you unless you let it.
Seeing people transform, watching them fight their way out of their cocoon, indeed, out of the wreckage of their former lives and watching them take flight out into their great big new world of possibility, fills my heart with love and gratitude for the opportunity that I have to lead people through their trials and tribulations, to help them on their journey from darkness and fear and into the light. It brings tears of joy to my eyes every time I see that certain light of understanding in someone's eyes, when it finally clicks and they get what their life could be like as opposed to how they have been living and when they in that same moment decide that their life is going to change.
Assisting people in making that kind of transformation is literally what I believe my purpose on this planet is. It is what makes me the happiest and is what I live for.
What's yours?
Friday, March 7, 2014
Your past
Hi.
I. Don't. Care. About.Your. Past. That seems pretty transparent to me. But maybe it's not. I want to be perfectly clear. I don't care if you used to be a transsexual neo-nazi pod person that drank human blood, lived in a castle made of human skulls, and ate live babies for fun. I don't care if you used to be in the service and killed dozens of people because Uncle Sam told you to. Or if you just murdered people because you wanted to. I don't care if are an alcoholic, or if you used to be a prostitute or a rapist. I don't care about all the crimes and sins you used to commit or the laws you used to break.
Yes. All of those things have dark tragic stories full of angst, fear and frustration attached to them. And if you need a shoulder to cry on or just feel that you need to confess to someone about the horrible, terrible things that you used to do, I am here for you. I will listen, my heart full of love and empathy, for your sorrow and tragedy.
Your past is your past. It is all of the things that you have done and experienced right up until this very moment. It is NOT who you are though. Your past is who you used to be. All of it. It isn't just what you did ten years ago. What you did yesterday is part of who you used to be. But, you can't change those stories. They happened.
What you can change is your future. And it is your future that I care very much about. Your past isn't important to me, simply because it didn't happen to me. I didn't experience it for myself and in fact I can't every truly experience it.
I have my own crimes and sins in my past, things that I'm not proud of. These things in my past, they shaped who I was up until a certain point, until I realized that they don't have to. There is no real reason, why there needs to be any connection at all between who you used to be and who you are becoming, other than for you to remember where you started out.
Every moment is a new opportunity to reshape your future. You can step entirely out of the mold of your past and make a new you. Stop carrying around all the guilt and angst for past mistakes. You know what you did was wrong and you've punished yourself about it for long enough.Step into a new future, one where you use the experience that you've earned from the mistakes that you have made to do things right this time.
I know from both book learning and personal experience that the harshest judge there is lives inside each one of us. We punish, tear down and destroy ourselves, more harshly than anyone else alive could ever hope to do. So, I don't need to judge you based on your past, and I won't.
I will however judge your actions in the current and decide based on the outcome of those actions, if I think you are someone that should be around me, my friends and family. Even if I decide you shouldn't be around us, that doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, just not one with the kind of energy we want around us. And even then, sincere regret for your wrongdoings and a declaration of new intent for the future would be enough for me to reconsider.
In life your past trials and tribulations don't mean anything. The true test of a person is always the current test. It's the only one that matters. And then it becomes the past. Its importance fades and a new "true" test arrives.
What I care about is your future. Who you plan to be, and who you become, from this moment on are all I care about. Most of your past is who you were at your worst. What I am interested in is who you are at your best.
Show me
I. Don't. Care. About.Your. Past. That seems pretty transparent to me. But maybe it's not. I want to be perfectly clear. I don't care if you used to be a transsexual neo-nazi pod person that drank human blood, lived in a castle made of human skulls, and ate live babies for fun. I don't care if you used to be in the service and killed dozens of people because Uncle Sam told you to. Or if you just murdered people because you wanted to. I don't care if are an alcoholic, or if you used to be a prostitute or a rapist. I don't care about all the crimes and sins you used to commit or the laws you used to break.
Yes. All of those things have dark tragic stories full of angst, fear and frustration attached to them. And if you need a shoulder to cry on or just feel that you need to confess to someone about the horrible, terrible things that you used to do, I am here for you. I will listen, my heart full of love and empathy, for your sorrow and tragedy.
Your past is your past. It is all of the things that you have done and experienced right up until this very moment. It is NOT who you are though. Your past is who you used to be. All of it. It isn't just what you did ten years ago. What you did yesterday is part of who you used to be. But, you can't change those stories. They happened.
What you can change is your future. And it is your future that I care very much about. Your past isn't important to me, simply because it didn't happen to me. I didn't experience it for myself and in fact I can't every truly experience it.
I have my own crimes and sins in my past, things that I'm not proud of. These things in my past, they shaped who I was up until a certain point, until I realized that they don't have to. There is no real reason, why there needs to be any connection at all between who you used to be and who you are becoming, other than for you to remember where you started out.
Every moment is a new opportunity to reshape your future. You can step entirely out of the mold of your past and make a new you. Stop carrying around all the guilt and angst for past mistakes. You know what you did was wrong and you've punished yourself about it for long enough.Step into a new future, one where you use the experience that you've earned from the mistakes that you have made to do things right this time.
I know from both book learning and personal experience that the harshest judge there is lives inside each one of us. We punish, tear down and destroy ourselves, more harshly than anyone else alive could ever hope to do. So, I don't need to judge you based on your past, and I won't.
I will however judge your actions in the current and decide based on the outcome of those actions, if I think you are someone that should be around me, my friends and family. Even if I decide you shouldn't be around us, that doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, just not one with the kind of energy we want around us. And even then, sincere regret for your wrongdoings and a declaration of new intent for the future would be enough for me to reconsider.
In life your past trials and tribulations don't mean anything. The true test of a person is always the current test. It's the only one that matters. And then it becomes the past. Its importance fades and a new "true" test arrives.
What I care about is your future. Who you plan to be, and who you become, from this moment on are all I care about. Most of your past is who you were at your worst. What I am interested in is who you are at your best.
Show me
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Let it go
Who here, reading this, is perfect? Can I get a show of hands or, better yet, if you are perfect, please stand up and prepare to be recognized. Hello? Anyone? Take a good look around. Nobody stood up to get congratulated. I think it's pretty clear, but i'll spell it out anyways. Nobody is perfect.
Now that we have that outta the way, what does it mean that nobody is perfect? It means that everyone makes mistakes. We all fail sometimes. No matter how much time and effort go into planning, things are not always going to end up the way we envision them. We all screw up.
This is important news that some of you should re-read. Why? Because every single one of us at one time or another has been guilty of beating ourselves up over something that didn't go the way we had intended it to. We waste both time and energy, two things we have a limited and ever dwindling supply of, on being cross, angry, frustrated, stressed, displeased or whatever you want to call it, with our results.
Should we just lackadaisically traipse through life without a care in the world, never minding whether our plans succeed or fail? Surely not. But we also shouldn't be constantly rehashing our past failures and constantly raking ourselves over the coals because we didn't succeed.
How many times do you think you should be punished for each mistake? If you have negative energy attributed to your mistakes, you punish yourself EVERY time you remember your error. If we only fail once we should only experience the pain once, not every time we think about the incident? We don't need to be punished for it every time we remember. In fact that just leads to low self esteem which leads to more failure in the future.
So how do we balance this? Well, first comes the experience. When you make a mistake or do something wrong, acknowledge it. But instead of getting out the whips and preparing to flog, think about the circumstance, realize exactly what you did that was wrong and why it was wrong. Then decide what you intend to do differently in the future when that circumstance comes up. Doing things this way the negative experiences that you have are actually useful and can make your life better as time goes on.
It is natural to be hard on yourself when you make mistakes. You want to always do your best and when you see yourself not doing so, it creates cognitive dissonance. You believe that you should be doing one thing, but you have just finished doing a contrary thing. It is natural, but not useful.
Through conscious effort and observance you can break the cycle. Acknowledge your errors. Determine the action you will take in the future and then just let it go. Pain and suffering may be a part of the world, but they don't have to be part of your world because of mistakes that you have made.
Now that we have that outta the way, what does it mean that nobody is perfect? It means that everyone makes mistakes. We all fail sometimes. No matter how much time and effort go into planning, things are not always going to end up the way we envision them. We all screw up.
This is important news that some of you should re-read. Why? Because every single one of us at one time or another has been guilty of beating ourselves up over something that didn't go the way we had intended it to. We waste both time and energy, two things we have a limited and ever dwindling supply of, on being cross, angry, frustrated, stressed, displeased or whatever you want to call it, with our results.
Should we just lackadaisically traipse through life without a care in the world, never minding whether our plans succeed or fail? Surely not. But we also shouldn't be constantly rehashing our past failures and constantly raking ourselves over the coals because we didn't succeed.
How many times do you think you should be punished for each mistake? If you have negative energy attributed to your mistakes, you punish yourself EVERY time you remember your error. If we only fail once we should only experience the pain once, not every time we think about the incident? We don't need to be punished for it every time we remember. In fact that just leads to low self esteem which leads to more failure in the future.
So how do we balance this? Well, first comes the experience. When you make a mistake or do something wrong, acknowledge it. But instead of getting out the whips and preparing to flog, think about the circumstance, realize exactly what you did that was wrong and why it was wrong. Then decide what you intend to do differently in the future when that circumstance comes up. Doing things this way the negative experiences that you have are actually useful and can make your life better as time goes on.
It is natural to be hard on yourself when you make mistakes. You want to always do your best and when you see yourself not doing so, it creates cognitive dissonance. You believe that you should be doing one thing, but you have just finished doing a contrary thing. It is natural, but not useful.
Through conscious effort and observance you can break the cycle. Acknowledge your errors. Determine the action you will take in the future and then just let it go. Pain and suffering may be a part of the world, but they don't have to be part of your world because of mistakes that you have made.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
I am an alarm clock
That's right an alarm clock. Stop laughing. In today's modern age, it is one of the most vital pieces of equipment there is. Many of us would just go on slumbering long past the time that we needed to be up, if there were not some way of knowing when to wake.
Yes, life did exist before we had digital or even mechanical alarms. But things were a lot less precise. Getting a group of people together had to focus around a general time of day, like dawn, dusk or midday. A 7:15 AM meeting could never happen without a tool specifically designed to rouse the participants on time. So, you see, they are very important.
But not as important as what I am actually talking about. Have you seen the Matrix trilogy? IF you haven't, get up and go out right now and rent a copy of at least the first movie and watch it.(otherwise SPOILER alert) It is full of eye candy, great music and some pretty amazing philosophy. The philosophy is the part I am really awed by of course.
There is a character in the movie, whose chosen job is exactly what I see mine as. His name is Morpheus. Now in ancient Greece, Morpheus was supposed to be the god of dreams. He was responsible for bringing each person their nightly visions from the time they fell asleep until the time they woke.
In the movie, his role was a little different. Nearly every living person, in the movie, countless billions, are connected to a computer matrix and are living out a simulation of life. Morpheus took it upon himself to start "waking" people up. He would unplug them from the matrix, show them what life was really like, or could be like, and then give them the choice to either, join him in waking others from their eternal slumber, or if they could not or did not want to handle reality, to go back to sleep.
Long before ever hearing about this movie I was doing the same thing. See, our world is filled to the brim with the nightmares of the unawakened. It is a great big boiling mass of chaos created by all the slumbering billions crying out and lashing out in fear. It is a great sea of sleepers, living on autopilot, their lives controlled by the subconscious whims of other participants of this nightmare world.
But it doesn't have to be this way. Those of us who are awake, people like myself, people like Morpheus can, no should, wake others up. In the movie, Morpheus was looking for "the One". He was looking for a person that would take control and change the destiny of the world. I believe we are all "the One" because it is our own personal world that needs changing and it is only that which we ever have absolute control over.
Each person, once they wake from their long slumber, can be shown the nightmare world they are used to living in and then compare it to the way life could be if only we are willing to do the work to make it better.
We can live in an enlightened world full of peace, harmony and prosperity, but not while the world is yet filled by a sea of nightmare dreamers.
Join me. Become part of my army of alarm clocks so that we might one day wake the whole world from its dark dreams, wake it from the nightmare to the dawn of a bright new wonderful tomorrow.
Yes, life did exist before we had digital or even mechanical alarms. But things were a lot less precise. Getting a group of people together had to focus around a general time of day, like dawn, dusk or midday. A 7:15 AM meeting could never happen without a tool specifically designed to rouse the participants on time. So, you see, they are very important.
But not as important as what I am actually talking about. Have you seen the Matrix trilogy? IF you haven't, get up and go out right now and rent a copy of at least the first movie and watch it.(otherwise SPOILER alert) It is full of eye candy, great music and some pretty amazing philosophy. The philosophy is the part I am really awed by of course.
There is a character in the movie, whose chosen job is exactly what I see mine as. His name is Morpheus. Now in ancient Greece, Morpheus was supposed to be the god of dreams. He was responsible for bringing each person their nightly visions from the time they fell asleep until the time they woke.
In the movie, his role was a little different. Nearly every living person, in the movie, countless billions, are connected to a computer matrix and are living out a simulation of life. Morpheus took it upon himself to start "waking" people up. He would unplug them from the matrix, show them what life was really like, or could be like, and then give them the choice to either, join him in waking others from their eternal slumber, or if they could not or did not want to handle reality, to go back to sleep.
Long before ever hearing about this movie I was doing the same thing. See, our world is filled to the brim with the nightmares of the unawakened. It is a great big boiling mass of chaos created by all the slumbering billions crying out and lashing out in fear. It is a great sea of sleepers, living on autopilot, their lives controlled by the subconscious whims of other participants of this nightmare world.
But it doesn't have to be this way. Those of us who are awake, people like myself, people like Morpheus can, no should, wake others up. In the movie, Morpheus was looking for "the One". He was looking for a person that would take control and change the destiny of the world. I believe we are all "the One" because it is our own personal world that needs changing and it is only that which we ever have absolute control over.
Each person, once they wake from their long slumber, can be shown the nightmare world they are used to living in and then compare it to the way life could be if only we are willing to do the work to make it better.
We can live in an enlightened world full of peace, harmony and prosperity, but not while the world is yet filled by a sea of nightmare dreamers.
Join me. Become part of my army of alarm clocks so that we might one day wake the whole world from its dark dreams, wake it from the nightmare to the dawn of a bright new wonderful tomorrow.
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